CHAPTER XV
MENTAL RESERVATIONS
I sat down rather uncomfortably. We had all of us been made to lookfoolish, and I was here to bear the brunt of it alone. What had becomeof Reid, I did not know; but I was much mistaken in him if he had notgone off upon some highly efficient search of his own, after alarmingLady and her father. So the whole family had been upset because a ratherthoughtless little woman had gone out without thinking to give notice ofher intended absence, and because an officious young son-in-law hadjumped at the chance to exploit his executive ability. If Sheila and Ihad been disturbed, we had at least only acted under his direction; andthe whole foolish flurry, with its risk of attracting public attention,had emanated from the jerky mind of Reid.
"I must plead guilty," I said, "of giving the first alarm. Sheila seemedworried, and I called up Doctor Reid on the telephone."
Mrs. Tabor's face clouded, and it seemed to me that something like angergathered in her eyes. "It was very like him," she said, "he is the mostselfish man in the world." She paused. "If you don't mind, Mr. Crosby,we will not talk about him. I am tired."
I got to my feet, feeling as if I had heard something to which I had noright.
"Mrs. Tabor," said I, "you must forgive me for having troubled you withthe matter at all. I am stupid sometimes, and forgot that we had beenofficious and that you might be tired."
She flashed forth an appealing little hand. "No, you are not to go; Ididn't mean that. I'm not so truly tired that I want to be alone. Infact, I shall rest much better if you stay and keep me company."
"I shall be very glad to," I answered. "I've regretted all along that Ihaven't been able to see you more often. Besides, I'm the only man inthe house for the moment, and I suppose I oughtn't to leave my postuntil the others come home."
She raised her brows. "Why, what do you mean? That sounds as if we werein a state of siege. You're a guest, Mr. Crosby, not a sentry on duty."
I had said too much, evidently, and I felt angrily that if Mrs. Taborknew nothing of affairs I should have been warned of the fact. "I didn'tmean that," I said, as easily as I could manage. "Only that the othersare still looking for you, and I ought to let them know as soon as maybe that I've been more fortunate. I'd telephone if I knew where theywere."
"But it's all so ridiculous. I'm not a child, you know." Her petulancewas rising again. "Because a tramp came into the house the other day isno reason for hedging me about as if we were all back in the dark ages.It's never likely to happen again; and besides, there was no danger atthe time of anything worse than losing some of the silver. I can't seethe least excuse for all this mysterious caution. And it's been going onso for months--long before there was even that shadow of a reason."
I tried to play up to the situation. "It's just the exaggeration oftheir care for you, I suppose. You haven't been quite well, and theyworry needlessly because it matters so much. Didn't you used to feel thesame way about Lady when she was little and getting over the measles?"
The next instant I realized that I should hardly have used the nickname;but Mrs. Tabor did not seem to have noticed my slip. She was lookingfixedly out through the parted curtains as though there were some one inthe hall, and I instinctively glanced in the same direction. When Ilooked back again, she was still distrait, and I went on; "And anyway,it's splendid to see you so well at last."
She smiled. "I haven't really been much laid up at all. I've only been alittle overtired. People worry about me too much, Mr. Crosby. I have apoor heart, but I'm always pretty careful of myself; yet neither Mr.Tabor nor Lady can seem to let me out of their sight. I don't like it."
She brushed the hair from her forehead with a weary little gesture ofimpatience. She looked very much as a pretty spoiled child might have.Yet I felt rather disloyal to the rest of them in listening. Of course,Mrs. Tabor meant nothing; she was merely tired and fretful; but still, Idid not like being made the confident of these family petulances. Lady,I knew, loved her mother devotedly, and so did Mr. Tabor--at least, hehad given every evidence of affection.
"How would you like it, Mr. Crosby," she added, "if you could never goout for even a walk all alone? And Mr. Tabor has been acting sostrangely all this while--as if he and Lady shared some secret thatthey were anxious to keep from me of all people."
I was by now frankly embarrassed, and I must have shown it. "I don'tquite see why--" I began.
"Are you in the secret too?" she asked suddenly.
My hair prickled. "No, of course not," I stammered. "And I don't reallythink that there can be any secret, Mrs. Tabor, or anything they wouldkeep from you." Yet I began to wonder whether she were acting cleverlyin ignorance of how much I really did know, or were actually guardedfrom all knowledge of the admitted mystery. While I scrambled after asafe word, I heard the crunch of wheels upon the gravel.
"There they are now," I said.
Lady and her father came hurrying into the room with all the air ofhaving come home merely to touch base, as the children say; as if theybut wished to inform themselves of developments before starting out uponanother quest. Lady saw her mother first.
"Why, mother dear!" she cried. "We--" she stopped.
Mr. Tabor coughed. "Where is Walter?" he asked.
"Indeed, I don't know," Mrs. Tabor answered rather sharply. "What onearth do you want of him?"
Mr. Tabor smiled slowly and expansively. "I don't want him at all, mydear; but I do very much want my dinner. Do you think it is nearlyready? Lady, suppose you poke things up in the kitchen a little, if youcan. I am nearly famished."
"Well," said I, "I had nearly forgotten about supper, and I believe weare to have waffles at the inn to-night," and I got to my feet.
"Mr. Crosby, waffles or no waffles, you are not to go," said Mrs. Tabor."Here we are just started upon a nice little visit, and these ravenouspeople of mine come bursting in from goodness knows where or what, andbegin clamoring for food. Since we must eat, you are to eat with us."
I said something conventional, with an apologetic glance at Mr. Tabor.He was frowning at the ceiling as if he had not heard.
It was hardly a comfortable meal. I felt that I should not be there, andthat the others, though for no personal fault of mine, were wishing meout of the way; while Mrs. Tabor confined her conversation almostentirely to me in a way that made me obviously a bulwark against them.She was bright and chatty enough, but I could plainly feel theuneasiness under it; and as the meal progressed she became more uneasystill, now and then turning suddenly in her chair or laying down herfork with little abrupt decisions that came to nothing, as if she werehesitating on the brink of a plunge. Twice she stretched out a hand forsilence, listening over her shoulder a moment, and then hurrying backinto the meaningless and disrupted conversation.
As we were eating dessert, Doctor Reid came in for a moment. That is, hecame as far as the door, and I thought Mr. Tabor made some sort ofgesture to him below the table-top. At any rate, he turned on his heeland left, after a nervous word or two. I looked around to see Mrs.Tabor's face set and stern, every little prettiness of expression fled.I must have stared, for she smiled after a moment, and nodded at memysteriously as if I alone shared the secret of the dislike she hadvoiced in the afternoon.
"Come, mother dear," Lady said softly. "Here are the rest of us nearlythrough, and you've hardly touched your ice."
Mrs. Tabor looked up, vaguely apologetic. "Why, Miriam, I'm sure I begyour pardon," she said. And very meekly she took up her spoon.
Of course it was the most natural slip in the world, and meantabsolutely nothing; but I could not put out of my mind the feeling thatsome unrecognized bomb had been exploded in our midst. I could not bemerely imagining Lady's deepening color, nor the nervous hurry withwhich she forced the conversation; Mr. Tabor and I helping as best wemight, and at best ungracefully. I could not shake off that sense of acommon consciousness whose existence none of us admitted, of somethingvividly present in all our minds but not to be noticed in words, whichmakes it so di
fficult for a whole company to keep their countenance inthe face of an untactful situation; the strain which people feel whenone unconscious bore afflicts the rest, when a stranger rushes in uponthe heels of an unfinished intimacy, or when somebody makes anunmentionable slip of the tongue. I knew that Lady and her father wereembarrassed by the same trifle which embarrassed me; and through thelaborious unconsciousness of the next few minutes, the name of Miriamrang in all our ears until the very air seemed as it were to grow heavywith the weight of her invisible presence. The tension grew minute byminute as we talked, until I felt as if I could hardly keep on. And Mrs.Tabor, looking up in a comfortless pause and finding us all at gaze,broke down entirely. Her eyes filled, and she pushed back her chair.
"George, dear," she asked piteously, "what is the matter? What has cometo you all?" Then as Mr. Tabor hesitated for an answer, she turned witha despairing little gesture to her daughter. "You tell me what it is,Miriam," she cried.
Mr. Tabor rose from the table. "With your permission, my dear, Crosbyand I will go out and smoke," he said. "There isn't anything the matter.You only imagine it, and you need Lady to tell you so."
Mrs. Tabor turned to me quickly. "You can smoke here just as well," shesaid hurriedly, "I like it. And besides, you are the only one who seemsto have anything to say this evening. These other dear stupid people areboth acting as if we were sitting at baked meats instead of a pleasantice. I can't imagine what has got into them, unless they have some darksecret of their own." She was cheering visibly as she spoke, but withthe last words her face clouded again. I did my best to keep the talkmoving after that, though Heaven knows what I found to say. And at lastthe meal was over.
As soon as we left the table, Mr. Tabor suggested that his wife was verytired, and that she should be off to bed. She agreed reluctantly enoughonly when Lady joined her father in his importunity and said that shewould go up with her. At last she rose and bade us all good night; butwhen she and Lady were at the very door, she turned and looked back atus. Then, of a sudden she ran lightly across the room and stooped to myear. "I have a little secret of my own," she laughed across at herhusband. Then very swiftly, and with a catch in her voice, shewhispered, "They are trying to take Miriam away from me!"