Disturbing things happen everywhere, I say, all the time. In Natchez, in Charlotte, wherever. You can find a window into hell a mile from wherever you are, if you really want to.
She inclines her head, almost as though in prayer.
I didnt mean to sound so cynical, but I have little patience with selective outrage. You could just as easily be doing a story on how the white Baptist churches are sheltering black refugees, but that wont sell as many papers as a white-cops-shoot-black-civilians story, will it?
You always kept me honest, didnt you?
And you, me.
She turns from the rail, and her green eyes throw back reflections of the streetlamps behind me on Broadway. A thumping bass beat booms from the tavern across the street, then a blast of calliope music blares dissonant counterpoint from below the bluff.
Wow, Caitlin exclaims. The boats must really be crazy tonight.
With a start, I realize that for a few peaceful minutes I havent thought of Tim Jessup. I really should get back to Annie, I say, suddenly anxious about the depth of my need to be near Caitlin. Ive got a really long day tomorrow.
No doubt. I heard youre on the morning flight, she says with a knowing smile. Is that true?
No way out of it, Im afraid. Im schmoozing a CEO who could bring a new plant here.
I heard. You think you may swing that, Mayor?
No comment.
She laughs dutifully, but her eyes are troubled. I cant read you like I used to.
I know how you feel. Despite my anxiety, I realize that the dread I felt earlier has been replaced by an exhilarating feeling of lightness under my sternum, as though Ive ingested a few particles of cocaine along with Caitlins words. An electric arc shoots through me as she takes my hand to lead me down the steps.
Is Annie with your mother? she asks. The path along the bluff is filling up with people preparing to watch the fireworks display across the river in Vidalia. I havent seen your parents in so long. I feel bad.
They still talk about you. Dad especially. I dont want her to ask any more about Annie. I dont feel she has the right to, really.
You know, Charlottes not what I thought either, she says.
No?
Its a lot smaller than I expected. Boston too. Im starting to think that no matter where you go, its basically a small town. The newspaper business is a small town. L.A.s a small town. Paris is a small town.
Maybe those places only look small from the window of a limo. When you have the phone number of everybody who matters.
She doesnt respond to this, but after a moment she lets my hand fall. As we near the festival gate, she stops and gazes at me without the guard of irony up. Thats the question, isnt it?
What?
Who matters?
Yep.
Her eyes hold mine steadily as the crowd swirls around us. Whats your answer?
Thats easy. Annie.
Touché. Youre right, of course. She looks back toward the carnival lights beside Rosalie, brushes the black veil of hair away from her face. This feels strange. So familiar, and yet I dont know. You dont seem quite yourself. She tilts her head and tries to penetrate the time that hovers between us like an invisible shield. Is it just me? Or is something really wrong?
What are you doing here, Caitlin?
Her eyes narrow. I told you. Working a story.
A New Orleans story?
She glances away for the briefest of moments. There might be a Natchez angle.
Before I can ask about this, a male voice cries her name twice in quick succession. There you are! says the newcomer, a handsome man of thirty-five who disengages from the chaos with some difficulty. He has a bohemian lookbohemian chic might be more accurateand he clasps Caitlins right hand in both of his. Ive been looking all over for you. I ended up down at the stage, talking to some gospel singers. Theyre fantastic!
Caitlin casually extricates her hand and introduces me as the mayor of Natchez. The bohemians name is Jan something.
Jans doing a documentary on the Danziger Bridge incident.
Bridge massacre, Jan corrects, as though quoting the title of the film.
On the Danziger lift bridge in New Orleans, four white cops responding to an officer down call received sniper fire from a group of black men, returned fire, and killed two of them. The black group later contended that they had been unarmed. As with so much of what happened in the first days of Katrinas flood, no one has yet been able to ascertain what really transpired. Im sure theyll eat that up in Park City, I say with a brittle Chamber of Commerce smile.
Jan draws back in momentary confusion, and Caitlin looks startled. I usually cover my emotions better than this, but tonight I just dont give a damn.
You guys have fun. I need to find my daughter.
And with that Im away from them. I couldnt have stood much more, and that knowledge frightens me. Yet as I walk through the festival gate, making for the flashing neon above the rides grouped on the bluff, its not heartache that preoccupies me, but some of Caitlins last words: working a story . There might be a Natchez angle.
As improbable as it seems, I wonder if shes somehow picked up the rumors of dogfighting, prostitution, and illicit drugs surrounding the Magnolia Queen. A word from one of her local reporters would be enough to pique her interest, and every facet of that story would engage her. If Caitlin does have reporters working that story, she might well elide it from any conversation with me. At one time we told each other everything. But as our relationship wore on, we found that the professions of lawyer and journalisteven novelist and journalistgave us separate agendas where privileged information was concerned, and that led to conflict.
Thirty yards ahead, I glimpse the familiar rounded line of Libbys shoulders, and a blade of guilt pierces me. Though weve officially ended our intimate relationship, it would hurt her to learn that a few moments with Caitlin affected me so deeply. As I near Libby, Annie and a friend cannonball through the exit of the Space Walk and roll squealing onto the ground beside her. Only now do I remember that I need someone to stay with Annie while Im out on tonights midnight rendezvous. Theres little chance of getting a high school sitter this late on a balloon-race Friday; Ill have to ask my mother to spend the night at my house.
Youve been gone awhile, Libby says with a shadow of suspicion.
They had a lot of questions about Katrina, I say in an offhand voice.
We want to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl! Annie and her friend scream in unison.
Im hesitant to be alone with Libby, but she nods quickly and they set off for the Tilt-A-Whirl at a run.
I saw an old flame of yours earlier, Libby says, her eyes boring into mine with uncomfortable intensity. Was she there for the interview?
One of a dozen or so.
Libby sucks her lips between her teeth and looks pointedly off into the crowd.
Have you seen Soren yet? I ask.
No. I guess Caitlin heard we broke up.
She didnt mention it.
Libby tries to suppress a tight smile of judgment or envy. She wouldnt.
Did Annie see her?
I dont think so.
Libby we knew there were going to be some awkward times, but
Dont, she says quickly. You dont have to apologize. Its not even unexpected. Im just surprised to see her this fast. But I guess I shouldnt be. Caitlins been a quick study all her life.
I stifle a sigh and turn toward the Tilt-A-Whirl, where Annie and her friend spin through the air, trailing green and fuchsia light.
When I look back again, Libby is gone. Then I catch sight of her moving through the crowd toward the Tilt-A-Whirl. I follow, but time my arrival to coincide
with Annies disembarking from the ride.
Should we look for Soren? I ask halfheartedly.
Sure, Annie says. I havent seen him yet.
Libby forces a smile and pats her in the small of the back. Oh, hes with his older friends. You guys go have some fun. I need to get back and let the dogs out.
This patent lie brings another rush of guilt, but theres nothing to be done other than to let things take their course.
Libby bends, hugs Annie, then gives my wrist a quick squeeze and musters an almost genuine smile. With an awkward wave she turns and joins the flow of the crowd.
Annie stares solemnly after her diminishing figure, as though watching the departure of a family member she might never see again. After Libby disappears, Annie turns and looks up with wide eyes. Daddy, I saw Caitlin here.
A strange numbness fills me, slowing my responses. Really? Where did you see her?
She was talking to a man with a camera. She was far away, but I know it was her.
Im not sure how to respond, but I dont like to lie to my daughter. I saw her too, baby.
Annies eyes widen still more. Did you talk to her?
She interviewed me a few minutes ago, with some other reporters.
Annie nods slowly, taking this in. I miss Libby, Dad.
I do too.
When no explanation follows, she says, Did yall break up?
God, shes perceptive. What makes you ask that?
I dont know. Did you?
I take Annies hand, then kneel and look into her eyes. We did. Im sorry I didnt talk to you about it first.
She looks back at the place where Libby vanished, but all that remains is a crowd of laughing revelers.
Shes really sad, Annie says, looking back at me with damp eyes. I am too. I knew something was different.
Im sad too, baby.
I think shes scared about Soren. Do you think so?
I think Soren has some problems. Lots of teenagers do. But thats for Soren and Libby to work out.
Annie wipes a tear from her eye.
Come on, I say, leading her down the long row of brightly lit carnival booths, a sanitized version of the sleazy carnies that used to camp on the edge of town when I was a boy. The barkers shout their come-ons, but their hoarse voices scarcely penetrate the confusion surrounding my little girl. And yet, as sad as she is, I know that the grief Annie feels over the loss of Libby as a potential mother figure is tempered by hope that Caitlin has reappeared for a very different reason than covering a news story. If it werent for my fear for Tim Jessup, I might be unable to think about anything else myself.
When the first rocket detonates over Louisiana, filling the sky over the river with sizzling arcs of blue and white light, it takes a couple of seconds for the report of the explosion to reach us. When it does, every muscle in my abdomen clenches, as though steeling against a bullet. This, I realize, is sympathetic fear. My daughters hand is in mine, love is near, life is good. But somewhere not far away, Tim Jessup is risking all he has to right what he believes is an unendurable wrong. Please be careful, I intone in a private prayer. Dont try to be a hero. My father never spoke much about his service in Korea, but one thing he did share has been borne out by my own experience: Heroism is sacrifice.
Most of the heroes Ive known are dead.
CHAPTER
9
It took all my willpower not to call or text Tim once my mother got Annie to bed. That was at ten thirty. The following hour passed like a car stuck in low gear, and I fought the urge to swallow a couple of shots of vodka to help me endure the wait. When it finally came time to leave, my mother saw me off without any question about my destination. She probably assumed I was seeing a woman, and I did not disabuse her of the notion. The only difficulty I had getting out was sneaking a pistol past her. In the end I opted to slip my short-barreled .357 Magnum into my briefcase and carry it right by her to the car.
Now Im cruising down Washington Street with a half hour to kill before my meeting with Tim. Im only a couple of miles from the cemeteryas the crow fliesso I have some time to ponder why he thinks I need a weapon when we meet.
Or so I think until my cell phone rings. The caller isnt Tim, as I expected, but Libby Jensen. Shes so upset that at first I cant make out what shes saying. For a moment I labor under the mistaken impression that shes upset about our relationship, but then it registersas it should have in the beginningthat shes calling about Soren.
They arrested him! she sobs. They say he has to spend the night in jail. They think he was driving the car.
Whoa, whoa, slow down. What happened?
There was a wreck, Libby says, her voice still riding the rapids of hysteria. Im not sure what happened. Soren was in a car that hit another car. The police say he was driving, but Soren says he wasnt. Libbys voice drops to a frantic whisper. Penn, hes so drunk I dont know whether to believe him or not. At least I hope hes drunk. They might have found some drugs. They wont tell me. Im so scared. You know what Mackey said the last time he got in trouble.
On the occasion to which Libby is referring, Soren was busted with Lorcet Plus and Adderall. On my advice Libby hired Austin Mackey, a onetime classmate and the former district attorney, to represent him. At Mackeys suggestionand against all my better judgmentI used my influence with the present district attorney, Shadrach Johnson, to try to ensure that Sorens case never went to trial. Mackey turned out to be right. After I promised my old political nemesis enough favors, the drug arrest was removed from Sorens record altogether. If Libby wasnt in love with me by that point in our relationship, the final transformation was completed that day. I can date my ultimate decision that things would not work out between us to that day as well.
Have you left yet? Libby asks, the pitch of her voice rising. Where are you? Are you on your way?
Have they booked him? I ask, glancing at my watch. Twenty-two minutes till midnight. Have they charged him?
I dont know! I cant even think. What will they do to him?
What they probably should have done last time, I reply silently. Mackeys final advice to Libby and Soren was that the boy never get within a hundred yards of an illegal drug while he was in Adams County, because the next time he was caught, Shad Johnson would throw the book at him. That day has come, and I feel Libby grasping at me like a drowning woman. But even if I could somehow blunt Shads vindictiveness, I cant go on enabling Soren to ruin his life, and his mothers with it.
Libby, youve got to calm down, I say in a steady voice. You cant help Soren if you cant hold it together.
Tell me youre on your way, she says with single-minded urgency. Theyre going to take him to the cell in a minute!
Damn. I close my eyes briefly as my car drifts across Franklin Street and heads into the Victorian part of town. Libby, I want you to listen to me. I will come down there and try to help, but you cant
She gives a plaintive moan that sounds like the preface to an emotional plea, but then without warning the sound shatters into a shrill scream of terror.
What is it? I yell. What happened?
Theres a rattle that sounds like Libbys cell phone skating across a tile floor. I hear confused shouts, several slaps, then a shriek followed by a bellow of rage and anguish. The phone rattles again, and then I hear sobbing. Libby has the phone. After twenty seconds of gulping air, she begs me in a torrent of words to come to the station. I wait until she runs out of air, then ask again what happened.
Theyre beating him up! They maced him.
I try to picture this scene, but I cant see the Natchez police beating a nineteen-year-old kid without some physical provocation. Did Soren do something first?
He hit one of the cops, she whispers. They were dragging him
back to the cell, really being rough, and he lashed out at somebody. It was just a reflex! Penn, help me. Please! Im so scared theyre going to do something terrible to him, or put him back there with somebody horrible. If you ever cared for me at all, please, come now.
A minute ago, I would have said nothing could keep me from meeting Tim at the stroke of midnight, but guilt is a powerful motivator. With a silent Goddamn it, I wrench the wheel right on Madison Street and speed northward to the police station.
Its thirteen minutes after twelve when I finally squeal out of the police station parking lot, my hands shaking with anger and fear. Libby is shouting after me, but not as loudly as her son is screaming mindless profanity in the drunk tank. The police found half a pound of grass in the trunk of the car Soren was driving, but Im almost positive he was high on crystal meth. Soren is essentially a gentle kid, not prone to violence, but when he drinks or ingests any drug but marijuana, his anger at his father surfaces, and he gets unpredictable.
A passenger in the car that he T-boned had to be evacuated by hel icopter from St. Catherines Hospital to University Medical Center in Jackson. Worse than thatfor Soren, at leastwas the poke he took at the cop who was trying to drag him from the booking area to the cellblock. That blow placed Soren Jensen on the wrong side of a stark line for the Natchez Police Department. The cop required three stitches for the blow to his cheek, and Soren went to the cell with a faceful of pepper spray; but this is merely prologue for what will happen when Shad Johnson gets hold of the case.
All this minutiae drains quickly away as I race westward toward the cemetery. Even if a patrol car doesnt stop me for speeding, Ill be nearly half an hour late for my rendezvous with Tim.
Flying up Cemetery Road, past the prepossessing silhouette of Weymouth Hall, I realize why Tim chose Jewish Hill for our meetings. The cemeterys front lower level, which houses the Turning Angel, is bathed in a yellow-orange glow from the sodium streetlights on Cemetery Road. But because of its height, the tabletop of Jewish Hill remains shrouded in darkness.