Page 7 of Defeat''s Victory


  “Sounds painless.”

  “But our best theory is it wouldn’t be. Could possibly be the most pain inducing death ever. Your body would be stretched across light years before being pulled apart. The racks in medieval Europe caused irreparable damage and pain and they only pulled people about six inches. Knees, elbows, shoulders, ankles, hips–everything is pulled free from its sockets, and that’s before we get to the soft tissue. Ligature, cartilage, sinew, muscle is all pulled tight until it finally snaps. Only, because it’s subatomic, think of your corporeal form more like taffy in a pulling machine. Gruesome, horrific death, played out for infinite miles and immeasurable time.”

  “Immeasurable time?”

  “Who’s to tell sir? We’re already tearing through the fabric of time riding this ship; our deaths could take hundreds, possibly thousands of years.”

  “Or less than a millisecond,” Pender inserted.

  “I’m going with his version.” I was pointing to the private.

  “I’m not talking about shutting power down to the buckle drive itself, but rather the relatively low voltage regulator.”

  “Low voltage.”

  “A hundred and twenty-seven thousand volts, actually, but compared to…”

  “Low voltage for me is a wall outlet, and not the ones for dryers,” I told him.

  “You can’t shut the regulator voltage down.” Beckert had stood, and was preparing to defend his case.

  It was kind of interesting just watching them get so passionate about something they weren’t even sure was real. It was like coming to blows over who would win a wrestling match between Godzilla and Cthulhu. It would be Godzilla, by the way. “Now private, I want you to remember who you’re talking to. I can’t pick your idea if I can’t even understand your examples. I am basically leading by default; my idea of intensive study involved how I was going to get beer on any given weekend. And sit down, Beckert.”

  “Sir, there are minor variations in this vortex, uh wormhole.”

  “Highway is fine.”

  “Highway. The Progerians lost a lot of drones in their first attempts to navigate on this particular…road, and even some ships, before they perfected the regulator.”

  “And you think somehow shutting this regulator down will help.”

  “It’s suicide, General. Now, I realize your proclivity for that particular course of action but…,” Beckert said.

  “Master Sergeant, that ‘proclivity’ is what you flattered me with to come down here and listen to you gearheads. I heard all of you others speak, I just want to hear him out as well. Do not interrupt again.”

  Beckert looked like he could chew through cables. He probably regretted bringing me in at this point. The muscles in his jaw were flexing and bulging as he did all in his power to keep quiet.

  “Once a course is plotted, it is the job of this regulator to smooth out the variations, otherwise the ship might not stay on course.”

  “Like potholes,” I said, trying to sound intelligent.

  “Potholes, sir?” Pender asked.

  “Yeah, the wheels hit a pothole and the car could veer off the road.”

  “Right. Only in this case, sir, we could end up in other universes, times, dimensions; there really is no telling where we’d come out.”

  “Alright, private. I’m not liking this as much as I hoped,” I said.

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, sir.” Beckert couldn’t help himself.

  “I’m not saying we keep it turned off, sir. Then Master Sergeant would be right; like a ship without a rudder in a violent storm, we’d go careening off distant shoals.”

  “Wait a second. So, what if we turn this thing off and we end up fuck knows where. Can’t we just plot another course and turn her around?”

  “In theory, sir, but there’s a fair chance we would travel through time, maybe end up back at Earth during the Mesozoic era, or five hundred thousand years in the future.”

  “It would be cool to see a T-Rex…but, yeah, that is unacceptable.”

  “This is all theory, sir. We can’t know for sure where we’d end up, but it’s a possibility we would come out billions of light years from where we were headed, we’d never make it back in a single lifetime. Heck, we might even freeze in time. There’s no way of really knowing.”

  “Okay, for the sake of argument, let’s say everything works out fine. Or, let’s say better than these terrible theories. What does turning the regulator off do for us?”

  “The failsafe is overridden.”

  “Odds?” I asked.

  I looked to the private, who decided his lap needed inspecting.

  “Master Sergeant? Now you pick a time to shut up?”

  “Sir, best case is less than one percent chance of success.”

  “Less than one? Wow, see, that’s math I can do and I’m not that nuts. Alright, you keep thinking on this, but I’m thinking it’s going to have to be plan B.”

  “Plan B, sir?” he asked to my retreating back.

  I got Dee, BT, and Tracy together to discuss our other options. As much as I wanted to mess with the buckle drive, no option even approached adequate odds. And without my unfair advantage, I was hesitant to employ anything.

  I had Corporal Jennings start up the wall drum beat, lest any eavesdroppers got wind of my plan. I maybe should have had him play something louder because when I was done, Tracy asked if I had completely lost my mind.

  “That is indeed a bold proposal. There are many facets, Michael, unknowable contingencies, random factors, any one of which could doom the entire endeavor,” Dee said.

  “I know, buddy, but we’re running out of options.”

  “I never thought I would miss Ginson’s command.”

  “Really, BT?”

  “No, not really. But holy shit, man! Can you fault me? Do you even listen to the words that come out of your mouth as you say them? I feel like you were ad-libbing the entire time.”

  “I am ad-libbing; pretty sure there’s no manual for this.”

  “Shit, Talbot, I didn’t want you to confirm my fears. This is where you’re supposed to tell me how thoroughly you worked this plan out. And how you have every contingency covered. That’s the shit I want to hear.”

  “Of course I have. What kind of commander would I be if I hadn’t?”

  “Oh fuck.” BT walked away with his head in his hands.

  “What are you doing, Mike?” Paul shouted.

  “We good?” I asked Dee and Tracy.

  “Do you think we are?” Dee asked.

  “You should have come with a disclosure.” Tracy patted my chest before going to prepare.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” I said before heading over to Paul. “I need you back, man,” I told him sincerely.

  “I snapped, Mike. I’m not sure if I know my way back.”

  “Fuck, Paul. I lose my mind all the time. You just get the duct tape out, put the pieces back together as well as you can, and soldier on.” I undid the cuff that had him tethered to a large piece of machinery. I gave him the key so he could undo the one around his hand.

  “I can’t lead now; the men–they saw the whole thing. You’re the leader. You’ve always been.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it, Paul. I’m not their leader. They look to me because there’s nowhere else to look.”

  He rubbed his wrist. “How could you possibly trust me again?”

  “How could I not?” I put my back against the wall and sat down next to him. “Shit you remember that time we torched Ratspindler’s car?”

  He laughed. “I thought for sure we were going to end up in juvie for that.”

  “Our parents would have kicked us to the curb if we’d got caught. I’d take getting caught if it meant we could be out of this mess. I miss the old us, the carefree kids drinking and smoking up at Indian Hill. Remember how big those problems seemed to be?”

  “Perspective is a funny thing. Lots of nothing-type stuff was a big
deal as far as we were concerned.”

  “Did you know you saved my life once and you didn’t even know it?”

  “You talking about Christmas Eve day, when I found you up at our old fort?”

  “How’d you know?”

  “I had a gut feeling. My step mom’s whole family was in town for the holidays and I’m sitting there, playing something with one of my nephews and I…I don’t know, I just knew I had to go up to the Hill. I found you in the old fort with a bottle of Scotch and you’d obviously been crying, even if you tried to tell me it was because you were shittied.”

  “My mom had been riding my ass about my grades or lack thereof. My parents were talking about a divorce, which should have actually been cause for celebration, and Susan Taylor had dumped me. At the time man, it was more than I could handle. I had a retractable blade, you know a box cutter? I had that in my pocket, I was going to get stupid drunk and then just cut my wrists open. Bleed right out on the floor of someplace I found comfort in.”

  “Yeah, I know, and it wasn’t in your pocket, not at first. It was on the milk crate in front of you. You grabbed it the second you heard me coming in.”

  “I always wondered why you were up there.”

  “I got grounded for the whole Christmas break because of that.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not. Can you imagine what the world would be like now?”

  “Who knows, could be better off.”

  “Don’t. Don’t cheapen what I’ve done and certainly not what you’ve done. The Stryvers and the Progs would right now be fighting for the scraps of our planet over all of our dead bodies.”

  “I don’t know what world you were living on but that’s almost already the case.”

  “Fuck, Mike, just shut up. It’s sounding like you’re the one losing it. There’s still hope left and that’s something.”

  “What about Beth?”

  “She got to me, man. I’ve loved that woman for years–long before any of this. I wanted to beat the shit out of you in college when you two started dating. Sure, I was happy you were happy but…”

  “You wanted to break my nose.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Even then man, you knew about her.”

  “I had an idea. She played with men like a pissed off little brother plays with his sister’s dolls. Ripping heads off and all. As much as it killed me seeing you two together, I warned her not to fuck you over like I’d seen her do so often before.”

  “I killed people for her. At least at first it was all about her, then…others.”

  “I’ve done the same. Obviously, you can see the affect she has on people.”

  “Why then? Why would you want to be with her?”

  “Fuck I hate getting cliché but what the heart wants…”

  “I get it.”

  “Now she’s trying to unravel the last spool of thread holding our world together. And somehow, a lot of that is my fault. I could have stopped her a dozen times, right in her tracks. She used my power against me–recruiting people for her agenda, and when that stopped working she just crossed enemy lines. The Stryvers are going to kill her once they get what they want.”

  “And how do you feel about that?” I knew that was a definite possibility. At some point her usefulness was going to come to an end, and they found us as disgusting as we found them. They wouldn’t suffer her presence, especially in a position of power, any more than we would one of theirs.

  “I don’t know, Mike. I think I’m always going to love her, or at least the fantasy Beth I keep in my heart.”

  “She looks much better on paper.”

  He laughed, I laughed. Not a complete repair, but it was a lifeline to the bridge we once shared.

  “Are you up to rejoining your troops?”

  “They’re your troops now. But I’d be happy to follow you and do what I can.”

  “You sure, Paul? You know how I feel about this whole leadership thing.”

  “And that makes you the better one for it. Those that seek out power for power’s sake shouldn’t have any.”

  “That’s almost Dee-like. Come on. I’ll catch you up to speed on what I’ve got going on.” I stood and reached down to lend him a hand. We got a few stares, but everything returned to normal soon enough. There was plenty of other stuff going on to keep people occupied.

  “Mike?” Tracy asked as we approached. “This wise?”

  “Hello Major,” Paul said. “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

  “That’s reassuring. And it’s Colonel now.” Paul raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment.

  “You let the crazy cracker go?” BT had come to join the party.

  “Crazy cracker is right here.” Paul deferred.

  “The chances that we’re successful are slim at best. I’m not going to leave him to die chained to whatever that thing is.”

  “Oh great, you bring me in just as we’re about to die again,” Paul said.

  “Don’t worry about it. I think the thing we had you chained to was highly radioactive.”

  “Was wondering why my piss glowed.”

  “He’s full of shit, right?” BT was positioning himself so that we were between him and the machine. “You’re full of shit, right?” he asked Paul.

  “Want to see?”

  “No man I don’t want to see no crazy cracker pissing. I mean, unless it glows, then I feel that for posterity’s sake I sort of have to.”

  “Spider penis, glowing piss…what’s next man?”

  “I will twist your fucking head off, Talbot.”

  “Not that big a threat, BT. There’s nothing important housed there,” my lovely wife added.

  “Fuck, man. You guys are ruthless. I’m in command here and I will not stand for this.”

  “Please, you’re in command?” Tracy scoffed. She was looking over some charts and went to seek out Beckert to explain something to her.

  “Must suck sharing the pants in the family.” BT watched her leave and waited until she couldn’t hear.

  “Share? What makes you think she lets me wear any?”

  BT snorted. “Well, fuck. That wasn’t very manly.”

  I spent the next half hour discussing with Paul what my intentions were, away from prying ears. He asked a lot of questions and we tweaked things as he had a better spin on some of it. It was one of the most decent times we’d had in a good long while, and the most cooperative we’d been since I was promoted to any kind of command, real or imagined. We worked together like we hadn’t since the beginning. It was just unfortunate it would be the last.

  Chapter 4

  MIKE JOURNAL ENTRY 4

  Two days. It took Alken two days to get back to me. I was figuring it would be a matter of hours. We didn’t have that kind of time to waste. I met him in our familiar hallway.

  “The Stryvers have taken four hours off of the projected contact time.”

  “And yet you waited two whole days to come down here and offer a deal. It’s all going to be moot soon. Even if we make a plan, we may not even have enough time to enact it.”

  “You have one, then?”

  “We do.”

  “It is not an easy task to sell to my people any sort of allegiance with your kind.”

  “Don’t I know it. Yes or no?”

  “We will allow your engineers the opportunity to work on the drive.”

  He said nothing more. “Leave. Get out of my hallway.” I pointed, turned, and was going back to tell the others it had been a bust.

  “I have only one thing to offer, a chance,” he called after me. “This is all I was afforded. Once we reach home, my government will never part with the resources it would take to send you back, not that they would anyway. You will not be allowed to roam free among her inhabitants. You will never be accepted. I am offering myself.”

  “What, you? What the fuck do I want you for? That’s somehow a fair trade? All of my people for you? No thanks.”

/>   “I am an Imperial Witness.”

  “I don’t give a fuck if you are the Queen of England.”

  “They will not fire upon you if I am held hostage.”

  “Great. Then what? We steal a non-buckle capable ship and spend the rest of our lives trying to get home? Assuming we’re not blown out of the sky, which we would be. I don’t think so. Phase one initiate,” I said, loudly.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Oh, I wasn’t talking to you.” The lights in the hallway turned from white to red. “Well, that’s a good sign. For me, not you.” The mute guard standing behind him was looking around wildly. Maybe Alken was confused, but the mute got it. He was just coming back to Alken to protect him from whatever was going on when doors flew open on either side and Marines fanned out around them, firing as they did so. Only one Mute was able to get off a shot, and it lodged helplessly into the ceiling before the shooter dropped to the floor to join the rest of the detail, bleeding out.

  “You cannot do this! We are reaching an accord!”

  “This is what you call reaching an accord? Listen, part of me respects that you were willing to offer up yourself for the betterment of your crew, really, very noble. Now just think of it as you’re giving up your life for the betterment of my crew. One silly little pronoun gets changed, that’s all.” He’d taken a step toward me. Sure, he was older than some planets, but that wouldn’t mean shit if he swiped my head off.

  “Don’t,” I said evenly, but made an exclamation point with my rifle. “I’d rather you were alive, but I’ll parade your head around as a reminder to anyone else that doesn’t comply. Doesn’t make a whole bunch of difference to me.”

  Alken’s eyes grew wide, and his mouth hung open when Drababan came around the corner.

  “Imperial Witness,” Dee said with a note of respect. “If you could please raise your right arm.”

  “I have seen a few of your bouts, Drababan. You displayed unmatched savagery in the arena.”