Mind over matter.
Kill or be killed.
Fight or die.
I shut my eyes one last time and prayed again, this time out loud. Hoping it would make a difference. That my prayers would be heard once again.
“Please… please… let me save her… I’m almost there.”
It was now or never.
I let the current drift my body to the side of the boulder, and with shaky legs, I pushed with the strength of a thousand men off that rock toward the fallen tree branch in front of me.
Tugging.
Jerking.
Heaving our bodies out of the merciless stream and into the rapid flow of the river. I didn’t waver, I couldn’t rest, not even for a second. I flipped over onto my back so Skyler’s body laid on top of mine and her face was completely out of the water, and then I firmly wrapped my arm around her waist and started to swim us backward to the shore. Struggling repeatedly to keep my own face above the surface from her weight and my exhaustion. Once again paddling and kicking my way onto the shore, already thinking about what I had to do next.
This wasn’t over.
It was far from over.
I ignored my pounding head and the piercing pain in my back, and sprang into action as soon as we hit a patch of grass. Laying her securely on her back, I frantically knelt beside her.
Hacking.
Winded.
Trying to find my own breath within my shattering body.
“Think, Noah, think,” I huffed and puffed, breathing heavily. My chest felt as if it wanted to cave in on me, undecided if it was grateful for the fresh air I was breathing or rejecting the massive amount of water I choked down while trying to save her. “You know what to do. You learned this shit in health class,” I added, still feeling every forced breath my lungs heaved out.
Flashes of the CPR video started running through my mind, and my body moved in sync with the images. Getting a second wind from somewhere inside of me, I opened her mouth to check her airway and angled her chin toward the sky, lifting her head slightly back.
“You’re going to be okay. Do you hear me, Skyler? Come on, baby.” Leaning forward, I checked for any signs of breathing from her nose and mouth. Listening carefully for a few seconds like my life depended on it.
Nothing.
“Fuck,” I breathed out, sitting up. Looking at her from head to toe and back up to her head again, taking in the blue hue to her normally tan skin. “I can do this. I know I can fuckin’ do this.” Placing one trembling hand on top of the other, in the middle of her chest, I sat up and used the weight of my body to push down, hard and fast.
“One, two, three…” I counted until I got to ten not remembering how many compressions I needed to do, just hoping it would be enough. Trying to get a response from her, needing to get a response from her.
Nothing.
“Fucking A!” I shouted, leaning forward to her open mouth. I pinched her nose shut and placed my lips over hers, blowing two deep, long breaths into her airway.
Watching out of the corner of my eyes as her chest lifted, remembering it was a good sign. It meant there was nothing she was choking on. I sat up again, placed my hands in the same position in the middle of chest, and repeated the same steps from before.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
Nothing.
“Goddamn it! Come on, Skyler! Don’t do this to me! Don’t you fuckin’ do this to me!” I seethed, with nothing but fury and determination filling my drained lungs.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
Again and again and again.
Nothing.
“Please, baby, please don’t do this to me! I can’t lose you too! Please, for me… please breathe for me!” I roared, seeing Luke’s lifeless eyes staring back at me.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
“One, two, three…”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
“One, two, three...”
Two deep, long breaths into her mouth.
And then…
Time finally stood still.
EIGHT
NOAH
Skyler gasped, throwing up. Instantly choking on the water purging from her lungs and out of her mouth.
“Fuck yes,” I exhaled, immediately flipping her to her side so she wouldn’t keep choking. Brushing her wet hair away from her face, I rubbed her back as she continued to hurl water from her lungs until there was nothing left for her to spew. Her tiny frame shuddering, accentuating all the bones in her body. Making her look so much smaller and innocent.
I shook my head, grateful that she was still there with me.
Alive.
Breathing.
That I was able to at least save her.
My sunshine and happiness.
“Cutie,” I coaxed, slowly laying her down on her back. Immediately noticing the color was already returning to her face, and I breathed another sigh of relief. “For fuck’s sake, don’t ever do that to me again.”
Her eyes fluttered to my face, her expression disoriented as all hell. “Noah?” she whispered in a raspy voice, meeting my eyes.
“Yeah. Where the fuck you been, baby? Been waitin’ for you for over a year,” I chuckled, trying to lighten the severity of the situation.
The fact that we could have died.
But mostly, the fact that she could have died.
“Am I in Heaven?” she asked, blinking away the haze.
“No. ’Cuz trust me, I sure as shit ain’t goin’ there.”
She scoffed out a chuckle, her hand instantly going to her chest, wincing in pain.
“Looks like it was my turn to take care of you. I owed you one.”
She blinked a few more times, looking deep into my eyes as though she couldn’t believe I was sitting there, hovering above her. I don’t know how long we stared at each other, lost in our own thoughts before her eyes shifted. “You’re bleeding,” she stated out of nowhere, reaching for the side of my head, but I caught her wrist midway.
“I’m fine.”
She weakly smiled, shivering. “Yeah, me too, Rebel, me too.”
“You’re so full of shit and you don’t listen very well, do you? I told ya to stop swimmin’ by yourself. That current is all sorts of fucked up. If I hadn’t shown up when I did, you woulda died.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, looking me over. Realizing for the first time my clothes were soaking wet. “You saved me? What were you thinking? Oh my God, Noah, you could’ve died.”
“No shit.”
Her eyes widened, shocked by my response. “I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think… I mean I just… it all happened so fast,” she stuttered, stumbling over her words, translating her thoughts. Confusing the two. But there was something from the look in her eyes that told me she was referring to something that had nothing to do with today. Shaking her head, she added, “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”
I nodded, the concern in her tone tearing up my heart. And for some reason, I found myself blurting, “I’d do anythin’ for you.”
She grimaced. It was quick, but I saw it. “You don’t even know me.”
“What are you talkin’ about?” I grinned. “I’m your number one fan, borderline stalker.”
She chuckled, pressing her hand against her chest again. Her mind shifted, focusing on the present. Her expression settled, reminding me of the girl who would always haunt my dreams.
“Stay off the Internet and don’t believe everyt
hing you read. Most of it is bullshit lies.”
“What I tell you ’bout cussin’? And why you tryin’ to break my heart, Cutie? I was about to start a fan club and shit. Now you tellin’ me you aren’t who they say you are?”
She smiled. “No one ever is, yeah?” she mocked, trying to sit up by herself.
“I gotcha,” I intervened, scooping her up and carrying her instead.
Once I started walking, she argued, “I can probably walk.”
“No shit, but I’d rather feel you in my arms,” I honestly replied. Holding back was never one of my fucking virtues. I disregarded the shooting pain running down my spine the longer I walked, carrying her, knowing I was really hurt. She couldn’t have weighed more than Ma did.
“Noah, you’re not carrying me all the way to my place.”
“No shit, I’m carryin’ you to the hospital.”
“What? Put me down! I do not need to go to the hospital. I’m fine. You saved me, remember? Like my very own Prince Charming.”
I looked down at her, smiling. “I’d rather be your knight in shinin’ armor. Prince Charmin’ is a pussy.”
She laughed, full force. Holding her chest the entire time, but not caring. And it felt as though it was the first time she’d really laughed in a while too. Maybe even since the last time we were together.
“If I call you my knight in shining armor, will you put me down and let me walk home with your help.”
“No.”
“Noah!”
“Shut up, Cutie.”
“Noah!”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. Nodding to my dirt bike a few feet in front of us. She followed my stare.
“You jerk! Making me think you were going to carry me.”
“You’re even cuter when you’re angry, can’t help myself.”
She peered up at me through her lashes, puckering her pouty lips.
“Don’t be lookin’ at me like that.”
“Looking at you like what?”
“Like you want me to kiss you.”
She gasped, her mouth dropping open. “I don’t want you to kiss me!”
“Then don’t be lookin’ at me like that.”
She instantly turned her face away, still slightly glancing at me from the corner of her eyes. Trying to hide back a smile. “So you got a new dirt bike, I see. You’re not going to crash this one too, right?”
“Not with you on it.”
She smiled big and wide, not trying to hide it that time. I gently sat her down on the back of the seat and put my helmet on her, when she asked, “What are you going to wear?”
As soon as I was finished adjusting the strap to fit her face and making sure it wasn’t going anywhere, I leaned back, getting a good look at my handy work. I never wore the thing, but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
We locked eyes.
“You look cute as shit,” I responded, smiling. Ignoring her question, I stated my own, “I’m gonna take you home on two conditions.”
“Is that so?” she countered, cocking her head to the side.
“Damn straight,” I affirmed, cocking my head to the side too. “You gotta promise me you’ll get checked out by your doctor, your parents, I don’t give a fuck, but by someone who can make sure you’re really okay.”
“I’ll tell my dad. What’s the next condition?”
“Ya not gonna disappear on me again. ’Cuz now I’ll know where ya live, so don’t try me. ’Cuz I’ll take my stalkin’ skills to the next level if ya do.”
She giggled, and it was still the sweetest sound I’d ever heard. “I didn’t disappear. I told you I only live here when we’re filming for my show.”
“Well fuck, I didn’t know that meant you were hightailin’ it out of here the next day.”
“You didn’t ask,” she sassed, shaking her head.
“That how you gonna play it?”
She shrugged, smirking.
“Alright, Cutie. I’m game. When you leave again?”
“I just got here yesterday. We start filming next week, and I’m here for the next six months.”
My grin mirrored hers. “Then that’s six months you’ll be on the back of my bike, yeah?”
Her eyes glazed over, unable to resist my charm. “Noah Jameson, what am I going to do with you?”
I didn’t think twice about it, I leaned forward, getting close to her mouth. Causing her eyes to widen and her lips to part.
Waiting.
I licked my lips, almost touching hers before muttering, “Whatever the fuck you want.”
She smiled once more, nearly taking my breath away. I swear I heard her sigh in disappointment when I pulled back, turning to grab her things on the grass nearby. I slipped her sandals on her feet, and when she threw on her yellow dress over her bathing suit, I resisted the urge to take one last look at her body, knowing it wasn’t the right time. Considering what had just happened.
She nodded when she was ready and I jumped on my bike and kick started the engine, jerking back the throttle. Without me having to tell her to do so, she wrapped her arms around my waist as if she wanted to feel me too.
“Where am I headed?”
“Larson Ave,” she answered, holding me tighter against her.
I took my sweet ass time driving her home, wanting to feel her arms around me for as long as I could. Taking trails I knew were soft, not wanting to cause either of us anymore pain. Though it didn’t stop the empty feeling already filling my heart when I turned down her street.
“It’s the fourth townhouse on the left!” she shouted over the motor.
I killed the engine on the side of her driveway and when I was about to lay down the kickstand, so I could help her off my bike and into her place, she jumped off herself. Not giving me a chance.
“Thanks for the ride, my knight in shining armor,” she sassed, handing me my helmet while her other hand was firmly pressed against her chest.
I knew it must have hurt like a son of a bitch, jumping off by herself like that.
“Tryin’ to get rid of me?” I questioned, arching an eyebrow.
“No. I just… I mean… my dad… he uh… he doesn’t let me have guys in the house without him being home. That’s all.”
I narrowed my eyes at her, sensing she was lying to me. About what? I had not a fucking clue.
“But, anyway, umm… Noah, I really, really enjoy your company, it’s just that I don’t have any extra time to myself. Especially when I’m here. They have me on a tight schedule, working almost every day. I just don’t—”
“What day you have off?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
Before she could think of an excuse, she blurted, “Sundays.” Jerking her head back, surprised by her own response.
“Alright, then Sundays are our day, yeah?”
She bit the corner of her lip, thinking. Before she finally gave in, whispering, “Yeah.”
“But I gotta tell ya, Cutie. I’m good at spittin’ lines, so if ya ever need any help rehearsin’ yours, I’m here.”
She scoffed out a soft chuckle, aware that I meant it as a double innuendo. “I have no doubt.” With that, she turned around, slowly walking toward her front door.
“Cutie!” I called out behind her, making her turn to face me. “Noon on Sunday at the river.”
She nodded, biting her lip again with an expression I couldn’t quite read. And it wasn’t until I watched her walk inside her house that I realized…
Skyler never thanked me for saving her life.
NINE
SKYLER
I woke up to my cell phone ringing beside me on my nightstand. The light from the screen illuminating the dark room with the morning sun trying to peek through the curtains.
“Mmm,” I grumbled, not wanting to wake up. Pulling the pillow over my head to drown out the noise. It was the only day I could sleep in.
I was beyond exhausted, at least my body was. I knew it had everything to do
with almost drowning in the river at the beginning of the week. My body was still punishing me for my poor decisions while my mind was trying to play catch up. To make matters worse, my call time had been before sunrise all week. You’d think after all these years of working in the industry, since I was in diapers, I’d have gotten used to waking up early.
Nope.
I still hated it.
“Mmm,” I griped, throwing the pillow off my head and chucking it across the room. Reaching for my cell phone that wouldn’t stop ringing until I finally answered it. “What is so important that you’re calling me this early, Keith?”
“Good morning to you too, Sky,” my agent/manager replied in a sarcastic tone, that was way too early for him to be using.
Flipping over onto my back, I rolled my eyes. “Good morning, Keith.”
“See, Skyler Bell, was that so hard?”
I rolled my eyes again. “You do know Sunday is my only day I get to sleep in. Can you cut me some slack? I’m tired.”
“Fine. I’ll just wait to give you the good news then.”
“Wait, what? What good news?” I asked, shooting straight up in my bed. Wiping the sleep from my eyes.
“Oh, now you want to talk to me.”
“I always want to talk to you, Keith. I love you, you know that.”
“Ah, now you’re just buttering me up.”
“Please…” I begged in the sweetest voice. “Can you tell me?”
He chucked, “You got the part, Sky.”
“No! You’re lying! Please tell me you’re not lying!”
“I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“Oh. My. God! How? When? Are you sure?” I couldn’t get my questions out fast enough. This was the break in my career I’d been waiting for.
A hot new Hollywood director was remaking the movie Chicago, putting his own spin on it. Getting together a cast of young up and coming actors and actresses, and marketing it toward a younger audience. I auditioned for one of the main female leads, Roxie Hart. She was the hero of the story, but she was also the villain. I’d taken roles where I had sung and acted before, small parts though. They didn’t come close to a role like this. But it never mattered to me, I just wanted to sing and act, it was all I ever wanted to do.