“Hutu, then Tori. What’s wrong?” He repeats.
“William it’s really nothing. I’m just tired. Everything’s catching up with me.”
“Why didn’t you let me know? I’ll call Bliant and be right over.”
“No. William no! I don’t need Bliant. Honestly. I just want to get some sleep.”
“I’ll come get Victoria then.”
“No. She’s had a full day, we’re got through another chunk of the program then Amina came over for a couple hours. She’s worn out too. We’re just going to call it a night.” He’s silent on the other end.
“William?”
“If that’s what you want.” His voice is stiff at her rejection.
“It’s not what I want, but I think it’s what I need to do.” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.
“Okay, you’ll call if you need anything.”
“William…”
“Damn it Cassandra!” William’s temper is getting the better of him. She’s shutting him out! He can feel it.
“Don’t you swear at me William Zafar!” Cassandra’s own temper rises. “I’m tired! I’m irritable, and I don’t need you making me feel stupid for not knowing how to get a hold of you!” Suddenly she’s close to tears she takes a deep breath. Hearing it makes William’s temper disappear.
“Cassandra...”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She disconnects.
William slowly takes off his headset as he sits back in his chair. His life mate just hung up on him. She is sick and he’d let his temper get the better of him. She stood toe to toe with him then hung up on him. What the hell is the matter with him! How could he not have realized no one has shown her how to work everything on the comm consul in her quarters? That he hadn’t shown her. She can learn Regulian but not know how to get in touch with him if she needs too or just wants too. She’s upset with him. He can’t say he blames her. This not knowing if she’s conceived or not is making him stupid, it ends tonight.
“Come on Tori, finish up, and we’ll get some sleep.” Cassandra says standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
“K.” Is the watery response.
Cassandra sits down on the couch to wait. She hates feeling this exhausted. It’s always been this way for her. Gram’s always told her that some day it would get better. God she wished it was today.
Coming out in her jammies carrying a towel and brush Tori sits between her legs. After drying her hair Cassandra starts to brush.
“So what was your favorite part of the day?” She asks as if she didn’t know.
“Amina coming over! Aunt Cassie did you know that in a few days we’re going to be stopping at Rodham. It’s a space station. A real in space, space station! Amina says we can leave the ship and go on it!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, so can we?”
“Can we what?”
“Go on the Rodham Space Station?”
“Well I…” Cassandra trails off as someone knocks on their hatch door. Opening it she isn’t surprised by whose outside, stepping back she lets him in.
“Hi Admiral!” Tori says from the couch.
“Hi.” William takes everything in at once, Tori in her jammies with damp hair, Cassandra’s tired eyes sparking at him, a plate of uneaten food on the table, Cassandra’s plate. Putting a hand behind her head he leans down, kissing her until she responses.
“I missed you.” Cassandra leans against him for a second then straightens.
“I need to finish Tori’s hair” Stepping around him she moves back to the couch. He understands she’s still mad at him. Good, he is too. Following he sits down next to her.
“So Tori I hear you had company today.”
“Yeah, Amina. She’s says we’re going to be stopping at Rodham. It’s a space station!”
“Yes it is.”
“We can go on it.”
“Yes.” Cassandra finishes brushing Tori’s hair as she talks William’s ear off. She has to give him credit, he took the bombardment well.
“That’s it kiddo, all done, time for bed.”
“But the Admiral’s here.”
“Well okay, but then I guess you won’t be able to go for a half day of class tomorrow.”
“What? Really?” Tori quizzed excitedly.
“Half a day.”
“Yes!” Jumping up she gives first the Admiral a quick hug. “Night Admiral!” Running across the room she dives into bed. Shaking her head Cassandra walks over to tuck her in.
“Love you kiddo. Sleep well.”
“Love you Aunt Cassie.” Rolling onto her tummy she’s sleep. Dimming the lights she turns to face William.
William watches her walk back to him, seeing her fatigue. Saying nothing he pulls her down into his lap.
“William…”
“Shhh. Just relax, I need to hold you for a bit.” Pulling her closer he leans back. She wants to be mad at him, but just doesn’t have the energy. It feels so good just to curl up into his arms. Letting herself relax sleep takes her.
He’d meant to have it out with her but her obvious exhaustion has him letting her sleep. Content he closes his eyes.
Groaning in her sleep Cassandra tries to move to relieve some of the discomfort. Finding she can’t she opens her eyes to discover she’s being held by a sleeping William. With the cramping getting worse she moves, William’s arms tighten around her.
“William.” She whispers, not wanting to wake Tori. “William I need to get up.” She shakes his arm. Waking he finds Cassandra struggling to get out of his arms.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need the bathroom. Let me up.” Her tone almost frantic, he immediately releases her. Rushing to the bathroom she closes the door. Waiting impatiently William finally stands ready to pound on the door when it suddenly opens. She comes out looking pale and sweaty, walking by him she lays back down on the couch.
“Cassandra,” Sitting on the edge of the couch he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can help.” He finds her skin is clammy.
“You can’t help with this.” Whispering she pulls her legs up to her chest. William is truly starting to fear for her.
“Cassandra?” When she says nothing he stands, “I’m calling Bliant.”
“No!” She grabs his arm. “He can’t do anything either.”
“Cassandra, you’re scaring me.” Stretching her legs back out she swing them over the side of the couch.
“William,” She starts, than quickly heads back to the bathroom. This time he isn’t letting her shut the door.
“Damn it William get out!” She hisses trying to shut the door.
“No.”
“I need some privacy!”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on!”
“I’m having my cycle! Alright! Now get out!”
“Cycle?”
“God William, you were married! Figure it out! Now get out!” Shoving him out she closes the door.
Standing on the other side of the door he’s trying to make sense of what she’s said. What the hell is a cycle? He’d told her he’d been ‘married’ as she calls it. What does that have to do with her obviously cramping…. Does she mean flow? She’s having her flow? That would mean she hasn’t conceived. Salish never had this problem…. Had she? William realizes he doesn’t know.
Walking away from the door he sits down trying to sort his thoughts. There is no child. He isn’t sure if he’s relieved or upset. When the door opens he watches her cross the room.
“Cassandra….”
“Are you happy!” She demands in a fierce whisper. “Now that you know, you can leave!”
“I’m not leaving!”
“There is nothing you can do here, except leave me some pride.”
“You should have told me.”
“Really! How many Carinian women have talked about their cycle to you?” She has him there.
“Sit down. Please.” He adds. Cassandr
a sits easing herself back closing her eyes. “I need to explain Cassandra. I’m not very good at it.”
“At what?” She asks tiredly.
“Explaining myself. I don’t do it very often.”
“I noticed.” William gives a little smile she doesn’t see.
“Cassandra,” He picks up her hand. He needs to touch her. “I forgot to kiss you goodbye last night.” She opens her eyes to look at him. “How could I forget that?” He looks up seeing she’s watching him.
“Today I don’t hear from you. You’re not in our quarters for dinner. Hutu tells me you’re ill. Tori tells me you’re sick. You tell me you’re okay.” She can hear the impatience growing again in his voice. “I missed you. I needed to see you, make sure you were okay. You tend to get stubborn when it’s about you.”
“I get stubborn?”
“Yes, you do.” He caresses her cheek. “Cassandra I’m as new to this life mate thing as you are. I’m trying to find my way too. When you’re obviously ill I’m going to be concerned.”
“I’m not ill. Fine you want to know. This is what my cycle is like. For thirty-six hours every six weeks like clockwork. Are you satisfied, anything else you want to know?”
“Thirty-six hours?” He looks at her.
“Yes.” Realizing she’s being brutally honest. He has to do the same.
“I thought you’d conceived.” Never breaking eye contact he sees the confusion enter her eyes.
“Why would you think that?”
“I didn’t start taking the Ollali juice until last night.”
“What?”
“I have no excuse. I just didn’t think of it. It was irresponsible of me.”
“You thought I was pregnant…. That’s why you told me about your wife.”
“Past wife”
“Whatever. You thought I’d lie to you.”
“No!” Urgently he frames her face. “I wanted you to know I’d accept the child.”
“You would accept a child from me.” She pulls her face away, “Because you’d forgotten to take the Ollali juice.” Her tone is as icy as her eyes have become.
William commands a battle star, five battleships, and seven thousand men. He’s known for his sharp mind and level headedness. But a six foot woman has him tripping over his words.
“No!” He looks to make sure Tori’s still sleeping. “Damn it Cassandra, I haven’t been able to think of anything else since I realized my mistake.”
“Mistake.” She repeats quietly.
“Shut up and let me finish. When I first realized you might have conceived I was angry, at myself, not you. It’s my responsibility to protect you. Mine. And I didn’t, you’re my life mate and I didn’t protect you. Then I realized I wanted the child. I wanted you to have conceived, for you to have my child, our child.” He frames her face. “I know this is fast, especially for you where everything is new. I’m sorry I forced you to tell me what was wrong. I thought it might have been because I didn’t protect you. I couldn’t handle that Cassandra. I just found you.” He gently kisses the tears running down her cheeks. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry.”
Cassandra finds his mouth, sinking into a kiss. This man, she thinks, continually amazes her.
“William.” She breaks off the kiss. “I’d accept your child, proudly, willingly.” She meets his dark violet eyes. “But I’m glad I haven’t conceived. Can you understand that?”
“Yes.” He rests his forehead on hers. “It’s too soon, there’s too much going on. Our time will come Cassandra. We’ll take our time.”
“Really? You can be patient?” She smiles at him.
“If I work really hard at it.” Cassandra rushes to the bathroom for a third time, causing William’s heart to hurt. Getting up he goes to her comm center to program in some lines. He’s still there when she comes back to out.
“Come here.” He holds out his hand. Taking it he pulls her into his lap. “I’ve programmed in my private lines. This,” he points, “will get my private line in both the ready room and our quarters.” At her look he repeats. “It’s our quarters Cassandra, that’s how I think of them. And this is,” he indicts another button. “Is my private line on the bridge.”
“William you don’t…..” The angry look he gives her effectively stops her.
“Yes I do. It should have been done long ago.” Cassandra’s tired body relaxes against his. “Now that you can get in touch, I need to leave so you can rest.” Walking to the hatch he asks one more time. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?” She raises tired eyes to him.
“I just need time.”
“I will see you tomorrow.” Giving her one last kiss opens the hatch. “Secure the door.” He orders.
“So what do you think? Do we need to go over anything again?” Cassandra asks Tori as she sits back from the console.
“No I think I’ve got it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, can I get ready for school now?”
“Sure, Javiera is going to walk you. Is that okay?”
“Your still not feeling good are you Aunt Cassie.” Tori looks at her.
“By tonight I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I’ve been going through this for years now sweetie.” Cassandra reassures her niece. “You’d better hurry, Hutu will be here soon with lunch then Javiera will pick you up.”
As Tori hustles off Cassandra shuts down the Regulian language program. All in all it had been a good morning. While she isn’t feeling great she isn’t quite as fatigued as last night. Once Tori leaves she is going to have to sit down and give some serious thought to what William said last night. Rising to answer the door Cassandra calls Tori.
“Hutu’s here.”
Opening the hatch Cassandra finds he’s not alone. Backing up she lets William and Hutu enter. Hutu places the plates on the low table in front of the couch, removing the covers, he checks the dishes then leaves. Tori skips out of the bathroom.
“Hi Admiral.”
“Hi Tori, you look ready for class.”
“Yeah,” she smiles at him. “Javiera is going to walk me.” Sitting on floor across from the couch she starts to eat. “Is she going to walk me back too, Aunt Cassie?”
“I’ll come get you.” Cassandra tells her as she and William sit on the couch.
“Eat.” William tells her as he starts on his.
“We finished the program Admiral.” Tori informs him.
“Really?”
“Yeah! Now when I have the dream I’ll know what they’re saying and can tell you.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah.” Hearing the knocking at the hatch Tori jumps up. “That’s Javiera.” Cassandra walks to the hatch with Tori, opening it to a smiling Javiera.
“Well you look a little better today.” Turning her attention to Tori says.”Ready to go?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go. Do you want me to bring her back?”
“No, I think by then the walk will do me good.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye Aunt Cassie.”
“Bye Tori.” Securing the hatch she returns to sit sideways on the couch watching William. He looks at her.
“I didn’t think I’d see you until tonight.”
“I wanted to see how you were doing.” Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear he rests his hand on her leg. “You seem better. How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty good, I slept on the couch so I wouldn’t wake up Tori.” She sees his eyes harden. “I’d have done the same if I was in your quarters.”
“Our quarters.” He corrects.
“How long until you need to get back?” She changes the subject. He looks at his wrist unit.
“I have some time.”
“Good.” Holding his hand she stands leading him to the bed. “I was going to taking advantage of Tori being gone by sneaking in a nap.” She kicks off her shoes kneeling on the bed to face him. “But since you’re here, I’ll just take advantage
of you instead.”
Putting her arms around his neck she stretches up to kiss him. He’s response is instantaneous, gripping her waist he finds only bare skin causing him to groan against her lips.
“Cassandra, you’re killing me here.” Running his hands up her back he pulls her close caressing her skin.
“Sorry.” Kissing his neck she smiles. Tipping her face up he sees the smile.
“I don’t think you are.”
With a small squeal she finds herself on her back, her hands above her head caught by one of his. With a devilish gleam in his eye he runs his fingers along her side causing her to giggle.
“William stop!” Twisting she tries to avoid him causing William to throw a leg over her hips, and watches the laughter in her bright blue eyes start to recede being replaced by desire. He’s touch turns to caress as he captures her mouth for a breath stealing kiss.
“William,” She groans, struggling to get her hands free as his other hand moves to envelop her breast. Releasing her hands he pulls her close.
“Cassandra.” He mummers in a tight voice, “I need to go.” Breathing heavily, she meets his gaze.
“This wasn’t such a good idea huh.”
“Great idea, bad timing.” Easing away to sit on the side of the bed he looks at her. Still seeing fatigue in her eyes. “Take that nap. You’ll feel better.” Rising to leave Cassandra catches his hand rubbing her thumb across his knuckles.
“What?” She wants to tell him to be safe but it seems silly.
“Nothing.” She lets her hand drop. Making sure the door is secure he heads to the bridge.
Several hours later Cassandra wakes, looking at the time, she jumps out of bed. Pausing she realizes all her symptoms were gone. “Wow, twenty four hours. Gram is right again.” In the shower she cleans up then heads out the door to get Tori.
On the bridge the Admiral is discussing with Quinn the defensive strategy he wants to use when docked at the Rodham space station.
“Admiral, urgent call from communications.”
“Put it through. This is Zafar.”
“Admiral we’ve just decoded a Regulian ship to ship transmission.”