Jason’s bright blue eyes were intense when they finally met hers. “I don’t want to miss a year because I’m sick.”
“Why would you think that?
“’Cause of the surgery. If I’ve gotta have it. Anyway, I asked my teacher what we’d be working on next, and she told me all the stuff she’s going to ask us to do at home for the rest of the school year. I want to do well so I can be an architect...or a lawyer, like Mr. Kinsley.”
“You’d make a wonderful architect or lawyer.” Paige knew that her little boy’s strong will to live was as essential to beating this disease as the miracles of advanced medicine. She was thankful for it. She folded her arms on the table and offered, “Would you like some help?”
*
AFTER JASON WENT to bed, Paige made herself a cup of tea.
If her assumption was correct, that Daniel was behind the arrangements for her father’s care, she was enormously grateful to him. It had allowed her mother to avoid a painful decision. She pulled out the file folder containing the research she’d done for her mother some time ago and ran some numbers. The cost to Daniel to make this happen must have been significant.
Her problem with the situation was two-fold. How could he have not discussed it with her? Okay, it was a wonderful thing he did and extraordinarily generous, but to do it without any input from her at all? Taking away her family’s role in deciding on something so fundamental? That might have been moot in this case as, of course, they wanted to keep her father at home. But Daniel had denied her the chance to have her say. What about next time, if the decision wasn’t so evident? Wasn’t this what Mark used to do? Throw his money around and expect everyone to fall into line?
And what about the money? The cost of subsidizing home care for her father, for however long he’d need it, was huge. Mark had never spent that much on her or Jason. Yet with Mark there was always the underlying expectation that they’d be beholden to him and that whatever was at stake was entirely under his control. They had no say. This had been the driving force behind her trading off any financial support for Jason in favor of having sole legal custody.
How on earth could she make her concerns clear to Daniel without seeming to be a complete ingrate? It certainly wasn’t a subject to be discussed over the phone. And it wasn’t a discussion she wanted to have when Jason was around. She’d just have to bide her time, but it kept nagging at her.
*
SUNDAY MORNING, MR. WEATHERLY was taking Jason to an art exhibit on indigenous plants. Mr. Weatherly was interested from a botanical perspective, and Jason loved to see paintings whenever he got a chance.
Paige wondered whether there were other seven-year-olds who preferred art exhibits to video games, but this outing gave her the chance to talk to Daniel about her father’s care.
She made him brunch, because it was what she liked to do. It was also a small way to repay him for his generosity.
They were well into the meal, and she still hadn’t found the opportunity to raise the subject with him. She wanted to strike the right balance between ensuring that he knew how much she appreciated what he’d done, and making him understand her concerns as to how he’d gone about it.
Paige toyed with her scrambled eggs. Although she’d rehearsed what she wanted to say a hundred times, all her well-crafted words deserted her. But she had to set the ground rules.
Daniel raised an eyebrow. “Is something wrong?”
She lifted her head and met his eyes. “Why do you ask?”
“For starters, you’re playing with your food rather than eating it.”
She wished fervently that she didn’t need to have this discussion with him. She wished she could remember how she’d decided to say it.
“Tell me what’s wrong, and maybe I can help.”
“That might be the problem,” she murmured.
A confused expression flitted across his face. “Sorry. What?”
“It has to do with your helping. It’s about the incredible deal Mom’s getting from the Oakridge Seniors’ Center for Dad’s care.” Paige kept her eyes on Daniel, steady and unblinking. She saw the sudden understanding in his. “You’re responsible for it, aren’t you?”
Daniel put down his utensils and pushed his plate away. “Yes, I am. How did you find out?”
She had a huge concern, and he was worried about how she’d found out? “How did I find out?” she echoed. A shrill note crept into her voice, and she struggled to control her temper. This was not how she wanted the conversation to go. She wanted to be calm and reasonable.
It wasn’t working.
“Not the way I should have. How could you do this and not discuss it with me?”
“For this very reason—the way you’re reacting right now,” he said matter-of-factly.
“That’s not fair. Discussing something with me before you do it is entirely different from me finding out after the fact.”
Daniel’s patience was obviously nearing its limit. “Look, I was only trying to help. Can’t you just say ‘thank you’?”
Paige couldn’t stop herself. Her utensils clanged as she tossed them on her plate. “Thank you? Is that what you want? Is that what this is all about? You want me to be grateful to you? Indebted to you?”
*
“WHOA.” DANIEL HELD up his hands, palms out. He hadn’t expected Paige to be pleased if she knew what he’d done, but her reaction seemed entirely out of proportion. “Can you calm down? Let’s discuss this like adults.” He saw the anger flare in her eyes. Okay, maybe he should have left out that last part.
When in doubt, he always fell back on logic. “Like I said, I just wanted to help. To start with, I like your parents. You and your mother were concerned about having to place your father in a home. Neither of you could afford the cost of home care. I can afford it, and I wanted to do this. The net effect is that your father’s at home with your mother, which all three of you want, and he’s getting the best possible care. Where’s the harm in that?”
He could almost see her anger deflate, replaced by—what? Frustration?
“You want to talk about it?” he asked. He was about to add “calmly,” but wisely refrained.
Paige took a deep breath. “I’m...I’m sorry. I know I should be thanking you. Instead, I nearly took your head off.”
Relieved that the worst seemed to have passed, Daniel rolled his shoulders to release some of the tension and leaned back in his chair. “I would like to understand why.”
Paige shrugged. “First of all, I’m just wound up about everything. I suppose it also has to do with my ex. Again, I’m sorry for that. Mark used his money to—I don’t know—buy acceptance. Buy control. The things he thought he didn’t have as a kid. Mostly, I think he felt that through money, he could control everyone. Nobody would ignore him. No one would leave him out. There was never any consultation or discussion. No opposing views. When Jason became ill, he tried to apply the same logic. His money, his choices.” She shrugged again. “The fact is you made this decision without talking to me about it or even letting me know, and using your money to fix things felt like what Mark used to do.”
Daniel wanted to ask whether she saw the difference now that they’d discussed it, but decided to leave things as they were. He didn’t want to set off another argument. When he was in a court of law, the argument between two lawyers was intellectual, logical. He enjoyed the challenge of that. But this was emotional. Frankly, emotional outbursts made him uncomfortable.
Maybe he should consider himself lucky to have lived without them his whole life. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I was doing, but I didn’t want it to become an issue. I understand that you don’t like accepting financial aid. I figured you’d feel the same way about this, and I didn’t want your father ending up in a home. No,” he broke in when she started to speak. “Let me finish, please. What’s done is done. I don’t have any ulterior motives. I don’t expect anything in return. If it’s all the same to you, can we just let it g
o?”
Daniel reached for her hand, took it into his and stroked his thumb over her knuckles. Raising her hand, he brushed his lips where his thumb had been. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I did what I thought was best.”
*
PAIGE EXPLAINED THE situation to her mother. Her mother went on at great length about how kind and generous Daniel was. What an angel he was. How much she appreciated what he’d done for her and Stephen. For all of them. Paige held her tongue and—thank goodness her mother couldn’t see—rolled her eyes. “We should do something special for him to thank him.”
“Mom, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why ever not? It’s the least we can do.” Charlotte sounded shocked.
“Uh...Daniel and I had an argument about it. We reached a truce, but I’d rather not open it up again.”
“Oh, dear. But, Paige, I have to thank him for what he did. It would be rude and ungrateful not to. How about if I send him a thank-you note instead?”
Paige sighed heavily. It would be futile to try to explain her view of it to her mother, and Charlotte did have a point. She knew she sounded ungrateful. But she couldn’t help it. She was struggling, still not sure she could trust Daniel if he didn’t discuss something this important with her before he acted on it. “Okay, Mom. Go ahead. I need to leave for work.”
*
NOT BEING VERY good at hiding her emotions, especially lately, Paige knew she was visibly upset when she said good-bye to Jason and Mrs. Bennett, and her bad mood lingered when she returned home from work late that evening. Mrs. Bennett insisted they have a cup of tea before she went back to her apartment. Once they were settled on the sofa, Mrs. Bennett asked, “What’s worrying you, dear?”
Paige thought about denying there was anything wrong, but maybe she just needed to get it all out, because it was clearly festering inside her. She shook her head. “It shouldn’t bother me. He’s been absolutely wonderful. But I can’t help making comparisons.”
“Slow down, dear. I presume we’re talking about Daniel, but otherwise I have no idea what you mean.”
Paige pushed her hair back from her face with her fingers and took three deep breaths. “Sorry. Yes.” She explained to Mrs. Bennett what had happened.
“And you’re comparing him to Mark?”
“Yes.” The word came out on another loud breath. “I know I shouldn’t. But I’m reminded of the way Mark was. And Daniel doesn’t see it.”
“I’ve never met your ex-husband, but I find it hard to believe that those similarities exist, based on what you’ve told me about him and what I’ve seen of Daniel.”
“It’s just...”
“Just what?”
“I feel terrible even thinking this. Daniel has been so good to us, and he never asks for anything in return. I know that’s not how it was with Mark. Mark was always thinking about how his money and spending it would benefit him.” Paige looked at Mrs. Bennett.
“Go on, dear.”
Her voice dropped to a whisper. “It always had to be about Mark.”
“And you think Daniel is like that?” Mrs. Bennett sounded truly shocked.
“No!” If Paige thought about it logically, she knew this wasn’t the case. But still... “Daniel does have strong opinions. And he’s decisive. He makes up his mind, and that’s it, while I’m still working things out.”
Mrs. Bennett opened her mouth, but Paige rushed on before she could protest. “Again, I know it’s not the same as it was with Mark. I know Daniel has Jason’s—our—best interests at heart. But they’re still not his decisions to make. Even if he’s helping us out.”
“You think he doesn’t know that? Doesn’t respect it?”
“I think he does. But look at what he did for Dad. He didn’t even tell Mom or me about it, let alone discuss it with us. He just went ahead and used his money to get the home care for Dad.”
Mrs. Bennett had worn a neutral, even sympathetic, expression on her face the whole time Paige had been speaking, but now her expression showed dismay. “But this wasn’t a decision Daniel made on your behalf. Both you and your mother made it clear that you wished you had a way to keep your father at home. Daniel knew what you both wanted.”
“Okay. Yes, but—”
“I’ve listened to you, dear. Now you listen to me. Think it through. What would you or your mother have done if Daniel had come to you and offered to pay for your father’s care? For the reasons we’ve been discussing, you would’ve said no, wouldn’t you?”
Paige thought about it, and it was hard to argue.
“Even without that, it would’ve been difficult for you to accept that sort of money, especially on an ongoing basis.” Mrs. Bennett’s voice softened again. “Paige, look at me, dear. He knew what you wanted, and he made it happen. He tried to do it in a way that wouldn’t upset you or your mother, wouldn’t make you feel obligated to him. Where’s the harm in that? If you ask me, what he did is extremely kind and generous.”
Where’s the harm in that? Weren’t those the same words Daniel had used? When Paige remained silent, digesting everything that had been said, Mrs. Bennett continued. “If not for that silly goose of a nurse, you would never have known what he’d done. And isn’t that the furthest thing from what your ex-husband used to do? Didn’t he always want to be recognized and appreciated for everything? It seems to me Daniel wanted exactly the opposite. Do a good deed, and not have anyone know he’d done it. He’s certainly not using his money as leverage, not if he didn’t want you to know about it. It isn’t similar in the least to what your ex used to do. Do you see that?”
Paige sighed again. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. “Yes. Yes, I suppose I do.”
Mrs. Bennett smiled. “There you go. Give him a chance then, dear. You don’t want to miss out on something very special, do you?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
DANIEL STARED AT Jason’s painting of the tiger. He liked it on his office wall. He liked looking at it. This wasn’t some sentimental thing, when a parent was delusional about his kid’s talent or lack thereof. This kid really was that good.
Daniel preferred to keep it there rather than at home, since that way he could see it more often.
Okay. Maybe there was sentiment involved.
He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a file folder. In it was the painting Jason had made of the three of them on Christmas Day. They seemed so happy, so right together.
There was an odd feeling inside him and it seemed to be spreading. He was really starting to care about the kid. He’d never seriously considered having kids. If he couldn’t see himself married, there certainly wouldn’t be any kids as far as he was concerned. Daniel was old-fashioned in some ways. But getting to know Jason? He couldn’t help thinking what a hoot it would be to have a kid just like him. He was smart, polite, well mannered. And talk about strength! Considering what he’d had to deal with all in his short life, he was a pretty courageous kid. And his mother was special, too. He was completely enthralled. Heck, he was more than halfway in love with her.
Back to the kid. What did he want for Christmas? Next to nothing when you thought about the circumstances he was in. No trip to Walt Disney World. No celebrity visits or concerts.
And now his birthday was approaching. There was only one unfulfilled wish on Jason’s Christmas list from the Wish I May Foundation.
The kid just wants to be normal. And how could he do that for him?
Part of it was wanting to have a father. Daniel couldn’t blame him. Didn’t every kid? But that wasn’t something Daniel could help with.
He looked back at the painting of the tiger, and it jogged his memory. Hadn’t Paige said Jason had never been to a circus, despite his fascination with them? Sure, he’d requested a book on circuses for Christmas and Daniel had obliged, but that gave him an idea. He’d take Jason to a circus for his birthday.
But where on earth was he going to find a circus, especially at this time of year? They we
re a rare occurrence these days.
His mind was made up. He knew exactly what he wanted to give Jason for his birthday. He’d just have to figure out how to go about it.
Daniel checked his schedule and decided he had time to take a short drive.
*
DANIEL DROPPED DOWN in the chair facing Laura Andrews’s desk. “Thanks for seeing me without an appointment.”
“For you, my door is always open. Besides, business is relatively slow for us right now. What’s up?”
“I need your help.”
“Not again!” She smiled. “Am I going to have to break the rules this time?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Okay. Shoot.”
“It’s about Jason.”
“I surmised that much.”
“Here’s the thing. He loves circuses—it’s a long story—but he’s never been to one. His birthday’s coming up, and I want him to be able to experience a circus. The problem is that there just aren’t any around here, and Jason can’t travel.”
Laura nodded sympathetically, but uncertainty showed on her face.
Daniel leaned forward. “I’m going to give him a circus for his birthday.”
Uncertainty turned to skepticism. “You’re going to bring a circus to Camden Falls?”
“No. To Hartford. And it’s not so much bringing a circus here as creating one.”
“Sorry. You’ve lost me.”
“This is where I need your assistance. Here’s what I’m thinking.”
Daniel outlined his idea of creating a circus, and his need for a suitable venue and volunteers. Having seen the Foundation’s warehouse in Hartford, he thought it would be an ideal location, and with Laura’s network of kind-hearted volunteers, he knew she could rally the troops. He showed her a book on magic tricks that he’d purchased on the way to her office. He’d decided he would be a magician for Jason’s extravaganza. “Well? What do you think?”
“It sounds ambitious, especially in the time frame you’re suggesting. You’re welcome to use the warehouse. It’s virtually empty, and we can spare it for a few days. As far as our staff and volunteers go, I can send out an email and see who’s willing to get involved.”