“You know…” I began, my wheels turning. “There are a lot of firsts I haven’t experienced. Why don’t you help me live life a little better?” I nudged Jace in the chest with my shoulder.
“Oh yeah? And what are those?”
I didn’t bother responding, just grabbed his hand and gently slipped my fingers between his.
“You’ve never held hands with anyone before?” He looked at me in disbelief.
“Not with anyone who mattered…not with anyone I was madly in love with.” I ran my finger lightly across his thumb, back and forth, back and forth, in a calming motion.
“Say it again,” he urged, pressing closer to me.
“I love you,” I whispered, looking him in the eyes for a long time.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“You do?” I gasped, stunned by all of his amazing gestures.
He nodded, grinning wide. “Do you see that star up there?” He pointed up at the sky.
I shifted my gaze to the gorgeous sky above us. “Which one…you have to be a little more specific here.”
“You don’t see that one that looks like it’s got a hint of purple to it?” He asked, coming up behind me, grabbing me by the hips and pointing again.
Two incredible things happened in that moment, Jace’s finger slightly rubbed up against my hip where my extra skin was and I didn’t flinch away, and I could now clearly see the star he had been referring to. It was something so magical looking I wondered if it was even real. It had a violet hue radiating off of it. “I’ve never seen something so beautiful before…”
“I named it after you.” Jace quickly glanced at me.
“Um, what?” I choked out.
“I bought it and named it after you.” He was smiling gently now.
My eyes flickered between his gorgeous smile and the incredible gesture he had just made.
“What? You’re worth it?”
“I love you Jace Austin,” I whispered lightly before sliding into him and pressing my lips against his.
“I love you Peyton Lane…and I am going to make sure you never have to question that ever again.” He swept my curls out of my eyes before lowering his lips to mine again. My heart was bursting with love. Yes we had had quite the journey—but Jace was worth every bit of blood, sweat, and tears. He was my ultimate prize.
Chapter 17
He Probably Thinks I’m Some
Kind of Psycho Stalker.
Deuces Wild
No one knows the cards in your hand
Just keep playing, you’ll understand
Life isn’t easy, it isn’t free
Things have a price, even you and me
We had been ‘dating’ officially for two weeks. And it was the most magical and incredible two weeks I had ever experienced. Every morning I had awoken to a text that greeted me with a “good morning beautiful.” Three days the previous week I had received flowers—you could say he was going a little bit overboard, but I was eating up every bit of it.
No one had ever deemed me special enough for the royal treatment Jace had been showing me lately—he was definitely earning brownie points all over the place.
Something felt different today however. Something felt off. It could be the fact that there was no sweet text to wake up to or the fact that there had been radio silence on the end of my boyfriend for two whole days. I had fallen into a routine and it was so unlike him…
My mind began racing with thoughts of him off with Olivia…or worse—doing something reckless, I couldn’t concentrate.
What if he is already tired of me? What if I have already scared him off?
I hated that part of me. The part that doubted that I was good enough for Jace…deep down I knew I was, it was just a little overwhelming and surprising at times that someone so incredibly handsome and charming could ever want anything to do with insecure little old me…
I was getting better—but scars didn’t heal overnight. I was living proof of that.
My handful of unanswered texts and phone calls were beginning to make me seem like a stalker or paranoid. Either way I was fucked.
“I haven’t seen Jace around lately,” Kayleigh said to me at breakfast that morning. “Where did he disappear to?”
I shrugged lightly, my cheeks instantly feeling flushed.
“Are you guys okay?” Kayleigh’s brow furrowed in concern, and she stopped buttering her toast.
“Yeah,” I stuttered. “I’m fine.”
“That’s not what I asked…” Kayleigh eyed me down again. “You sure you and Jace are okay?”
“What if he wants to break up with me?” I found myself losing my breath just by the thought of it; tears already falling down.
“Why would he ever want to do that?” She asked, incredulously.
“Because, he’s ignoring me…” I trailed off, looking down. “Maybe he realized I’m not good enough…”
“What?” Kayleigh’s brown eyes turned black. “Don’t you ever say that again. Do you hear me?”
I looked back at her, shocked by her outburst. I nodded slowly.
“You are wonderful. You are incredible. You are amazing—and don’t you ever forget it.” She ran her fingers softly over my hair. “You’re a Lane; you’re a fighter.”
She took me by surprise. My sister became more beautiful to me in that moment than I could have ever imagined. I always knew Kayleigh’s heart was pure—I was just waiting to see it. Really get to experience it firsthand—and I did. She exceeded all my expectations.
“Now tell me what’s really going on.” She lowered her hand down onto my shoulder.
“Jace went MIA and I’m freaking out. He probably thinks I’m some psycho stalker from the unhealthy amount of texts I’ve sent him…”
She rolled her eyes at me. “That’s it? That’s all you were worked up for?”
My mouth dropped open in an animated fashion. “Rude…you know I love to overanalyze.”
“When’s the last time you heard from him?” It appeared as though Kayleigh was not as concerned as me.
“Two days…be honest—am I going overboard?” I truthfully didn’t know…Jace was my first boyfriend ever—I was allowed a couple of mistakes…right?
Kayleigh was staring back at me like I had two heads. “Give me your phone,” she ordered, her hand extended out.
“What? Why?’ I asked, confused.
“Because, I am not going to let you ruin everything with Jace over a couple of days of silence. I’m going to save your relationship.”
I looked back at her incredulously, but she just kept motioning with her head to her hand.
I sighed loudly as I placed my phone gently into her hand. “This is totally unfair you know.”
I was only frustrated because I couldn’t check my phone for updates every five minutes. It was going to give me a lot more time to lounge around and think…torture myself with the thoughts. It all sounded quite painful.
Just as her fingers had clasped around it and mine had let their death grip go, I heard the familiar vibration of my text alert go off.
“Give it to me!” I shrieked loudly, chasing my sister around the dinner table. It has to be Jace…it has to be Jace…at least that’s what I kept telling myself…
She squinted down at the screen of my phone. “It’s from Noah—now stop freaking out.”
Noah? I hadn’t seen him since the night of the party—the night he made it blatantly obvious he was into me. I had been avoiding scheduling any rehearsals as well because I wasn’t sure I could completely trust myself alone in a room with him. I had to wonder about his timing though. We had been playing together for months; if he really liked me—why didn’t he pursue me when he had the chance? When I was single and available?
Why did he date the she-devil and play games with my emotions?
The first time we stayed after rehearsal to write…Kayleigh read my text out loud, ignoring the fact that she was invading my privacy…”Does that mean
anything to you?”
Actually it did. Noah and I had ended up getting lost in conversation, losing track of time. Surprisingly, not one minute of that time was spent writing. In fact, it was one of the only times I had ever spoken to anyone about my childhood and what I had been through as an overweight adolescent; the hell I was subjected to on a daily basis. I hadn’t known why I had been so open and honest with him—but there was something about his kind eyes that told me I could trust him.
I swiped the phone out of my sister’s hands, quickly typing my response, what about that night?
He wasted no time at all replying, that’s when I knew…
Knew what…? My mind was racing, my heart going a mile a minute.
That I was in trouble.
I knew what he was getting at now and I wasn’t sure I wanted to allow him to go on…
“Okay, what is going on?” Kayleigh asked in an exasperated tone.
It was simple, really. “I’m fucked.”
***
It had been hours since I had received those dangerous text messages from Noah…and still no word from Jace. You could say it was messing with my head. Even though I wanted to heed Kayleigh’s advice, something in the pit of my stomach told me to follow my heart. If I waited to hear from Jace any longer, I was bound to do something ridiculously stupid, like reply to Noah’s texts…and with how far Jace and I had come I wasn’t sure I was willing to risk all of our progress for a what if.
I had never been invited over to Jace’s house. It never crossed my mind that there might be a reason for that. I just assumed he liked my place since he showed up nearly every day. The phonebook had provided the necessary answer I was looking for and I made my way to the address, my heart pounding out of my chest. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react…with me just showing up…but I needed to see him. I needed to know that he still cared for me, loved me.
I had walked the distance between our two houses, and the walk felt nice and brisk. It took merely ten minutes, but felt more like five. I could do this a lot more. That was, if he actually was responsive to me and wanted me to come over…
Walking up his porch steps, I hurriedly swept my hair out of my eyes, and tugged on my shirt, trying to make myself presentable before I knocked. I wasn’t prepared for what came next.
“Get the door!” I heard a loud voice bellow immediately after my fist had pounded it to showcase my arrival.
I heard about five locks clicking as the door was opened slowly. The sight I came to see was the furthest thing than what I could have ever imagined.
“Jace?” I barely got out as I saw his tall figure through the old screen door.
“Peyton?” He asked in a hushed, worried tone, before opening up the door, and coming out onto the porch with me. “What are you doing here?” He hissed, glancing back over to where I had heard the other voice bellow from.
I was about to form my response when I saw them. There wasn’t one, not even two…but multiple bruises. On his face, his arms, legs; bruises. He looked like he had been in a fight…and he didn’t win. My stomach sank immediately along with my heart. “Oh my God, are you okay? Who did this to you?” I asked, as I reached out gently to touch his cheek where the purple bruise lay.
“I’m fine.” He shied away from my touch. Why is he acting so cold?
“Who’s out there fuck face?” I heard the voice from earlier shout.
“Peyton.” His voice was even more hushed than before. “You have to go.”
My eyes shot up to Jace’s. I was trying to get him to look at me. I was trying to get him to open up to me. Why are you pushing me away? I wanted to scream in his face. Let me be there for you.
But it was too late…I should have left when he asked…but my feet were planted firmly and even if I had tried, it felt like I was glued to that spot. I wanted to know what had happened. I wanted to be his savior as he had been mine so many times before.
“Who the fuck is at the door?” The tension emanating off the raspy voice this time was more than apparent.
Jace’s eyes were pleading with me to go. He wasn’t even saying a word anymore…just attempting to speak to me with one look.
But it was too late…his father, or who I had assumed was his father came stumbling out to the doorway.
It was the first time I saw real fear in Jace’s eyes and the first time everything clicked for me. He did this to you…
“Well, well, well,” the older, stockier version of Jace began. “What do we have here Jace? Is this your girlfriend?”
Jace quickly shifted his eyes to his old man. He was obviously hammered…and it was only three in the afternoon. I wondered if this is what Jace had been putting up with since his mother passed and his father took him in.
“Nothing Frank.” You could cut the tension with a knife. Jace was speaking to him through gritted teeth. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to become a fly on the wall. “Peyton, go home.”
My feet weren’t locked into place anymore and Jace didn’t need to warn me twice. I shuffled around and hurried off the front porch. I glanced back only once as I made my way across the street. It wasn’t even needed…I could have heard that punch from miles away. The sound of knuckles to flesh made my stomach do sickening twists.
I threw my hand over my mouth as I watched Jace fall to his knees, clutching his stomach on the front porch. And then I broke into a run. Fabulous. I was supposed to be his savior and I was running like a little bitch in the opposite direction. I had caused this pain to Jace…how long had he been putting up with his alcoholic, abusive father? How long had I been engrossed in dramas of my own creation too blind to see the bruises he wore?
I felt terrible. It was one thing if he was ignoring me because he was an asshole…it was a whole other ballgame if he was ignoring me because he was getting the shit beat out of him, and he didn’t want me to see him like that…it was the first time I ever saw him the way he had seen me the first day in the hall…broken, and I didn’t like it. Jace had always been a fighter. He had always fought for me. I had no clue what I could do…but Jace was worth every bit of it. Even if he couldn’t fight back, I was determined to find one for him; even if it meant throwing myself into harm’s way.
Jace needed me. And I intended to be his saving grace.
Chapter 18
Would it Kill You to be Vulnerable for Once?
Melt Away
I never knew I could feel like this
My heart is racin’
Never knew I’d feel it in your kiss
Oh, my life is changing
You walked into my life
Oh so confident
The lights shone so bright
You were heaven sent
One smile from your mouth
I melt away
One kiss from your lips
I’m here to stay
I wasn’t gone more than five minutes when a text rang through to my phone. Are you okay? It was Jace.
I was still frazzled from the sight I had just run from; my mind was going a mile a minute—trying to decide how I should handle everything. Should I call the police? Should I tell my parents? I wasn’t sure what the right answer was.
The fact that he was worried about me at such a time was endearing and frustrating all at the same time.
Are you fucking kidding? Are you okay? I wrote back in response.
I was a few blocks from my house when my phone began ringing.
“Hello?” I answered, breathlessly.
“Where are you?” Jace’s voice sounded through.
“I saw him punch you, Jace—right in front of my eyes.” My voice was quivering as I spoke the words of truth.
“Peyton, where are you?” he asked again, completely ignoring my previous statement.
“I’m on Dayton and Ferry.”
“Don’t move—I’m coming.” Then there was a click.
I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to. Knowing Jace was in the vicinity had me frozen i
n place; my heart beating wildly out of my chest. My mind was swimming.
“Peyton?” I heard my name after no more than a few minutes.
I turned around to see Jace, his face flushed, full of worry and concern. “I’m so sorry.” He ran to me then, embracing me gently.
“What do you have to be sorry for?” I asked, my eyes brimming with tears.
“I hate that you had to see that. I hate that I treated you badly.” He pushed a few stray hairs out of my face.
“What the hell was that?” I gasped out.