“What is it?” My voice sounded small, unattached.
The longer Jace made me wait in agony, the longer my mind was racing with what if’s and negative outcomes.
“We didn’t meet in the hall like you thought…” he trailed off, walking a few feet away from me. His back was to me and his head angled down.
“What are you trying to say Jace?” I couldn’t get a handle on my voice as it cracked from nervousness.
“The day you took the pills…”
What in the hell…?
“Jace, you better spit it out soon before I die from a heart attack!” I ordered, my mouth dry as ever.
“It was the first day I moved to town. I was walking, exploring my new town when I ran into Kayleigh—she thought I was my brother and invited me over. I was bored, so I played along. Plus, Kayleigh’s not bad on the eyes…I wasn’t feeling the greatest and was just looking for a release.
“Please don’t say what I think you are going to say…” My eyes were filling up with tears. My sister won in everything in life…I was always second fiddle. The knowledge that Jace had been interested in her before even meeting me was tearing me up.
“Peyton, I saw you that day. Yes I was with her without the greatest intentions—but you were all I saw.”
“Well, it’d be a little hard to miss someone overdosing.” My voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“I pleaded with you to come back—I promised you things would be different if you just stayed with us long enough to call 911 and have an ambulance dispatched. The moment you squeezed my hand, I knew—it was my mission.”
“I’m not a mission.” It seemed silly, but it was all I could think of as a comeback.
“No, you’re just the girl I’m head over heels, madly in love with. I was stupid before. I let my peers influence my decisions and I never went after what I wanted—what my heart wanted.” He kissed me quickly then. “You changed my life Peyton Lane…and for the better. I have a permanent smile on my face, and you know damn well it’s because of you.”
I couldn’t help but blush. Don’t things like this only happen in the cheesiest of love stories?
The problem was that I still felt conflicted about him liking my sister—falling for me out of pity.
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that there is no one else out there for me. You want me to shout it amongst the rooftops? Fine…” He ripped away from me then and bellowed loudly for all the woods to hear, “I love Peyton Lane!”
“Stop it!” I hissed, throwing my hand up to his lips to silence him.
“What? It’s true…and I want the whole world to know!” He was grinning madly.
“Are you drunk?” I giggled, knowing full well he wasn’t.
“The only thing I’m drunk on is you.” I had to hand it to him—he was good.
Chapter 20
Hold Up, Where are Your Pants?
My Heart Speaks (Only What’s Real)
I don’t know when things started to change
Our casual ways became kisses and flings
I don’t know what to do anymore
My lust has filled my hearts core
My mind tells me I can’t feel this way
Spinnin’, heart racin’, so much change
I’m telling you I can’t change how I feel
My hearts speakin’ only what’s real
“Did I do well?” Jace asked me as we entered our yurt.
“You did wonderful…” I trailed off deep in thought.
“Something is missing though, isn’t it?” Jace asked, taking my hands in his and squeezing them gently. “I thought you might say that…”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You didn’t…”
He nodded his head animatedly, grinning widely. “I did.”
It was like Jace and I had a language of our own, as if we were on the same wavelength.
“They’ll be here in the morning.” It was as if he had said the magic words. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. Jace knew me so well…I wondered when he had the time.
Knowing that Brooklyn and Madison would be joining us made me all sorts of excited.
“You’re too good to be true,” I whispered before closing the distance between our mouths.
He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling it away from my face. His other arm was around my waist, pulling me into him.
My heart began racing almost instantly. I was a virgin. I had close to no experiences. My first kiss had been less than a year before. Staying in a room alone with Jace scared the shit outta me.
Jace could sense my shift in nervousness and he pulled away from the kiss breathlessly. “What is it?”
“Jace, you know I love you and love spending time with you—but I’m not ready for this and I don’t think I can trust myself with you.”
Jace’s face fell and I worried I had hurt his feelings. “You don’t trust me?”
“No, I do, it’s just…” I stammered, searching for the right words.
“It’s okay.” He backed off. “Let’s go hang out for a bit and if you still feel the same way later, I’ll see if Bentley would mind swapping.” I didn’t deserve him.
We played Catch Phrase among a camp fire and I saw happiness in Jace’s eyes I had only hoped for, wished on.
We spiced things up with alcohol—losers having to drink—and unfortunately for me, my partners Elijah, Jace, and Bentley weren’t the greatest guessers. We were losing and quite buzzed.
Kayleigh, Boone, and Lana dominated game after game until we finally called it quits hours later and shots deep.
The alcohol was flowing through my body, making it feel hot and numb all at the same time. I had a tingling sensation running its course down my arms.
I was giggling as an aftermath of our competitive game as well as the alcohol in my system. I glanced over at Jace who appeared to be holding his liquor quite well.
“You’re a cute drunk,” he whispered in my ear.
“I’m not drunk,” I retorted.
“Right.” Jace rolled his eyes before downing his own glass.
Vodka had been the alcohol of the night and I knew the crazy it brought out of me. Thankfully, I had Kayleigh and Bentley looking out for me…
Although they had seemed to have disappeared mysteriously. I assumed for some alone time. They didn’t get much of it nowadays because of having to babysit and chaperone me everywhere.
Elijah had also excused himself earlier due to not feeling well. All that was left was Jace, Boone, Lana, and me.
Boone and Jace were in a deep conversation so I focused my attention on the questions Lana was asking me.
“How long have you guys been together?” She was searching for the answer in my eyes.
“Just a few weeks,” I replied, gulping lightly.
“I’m surprised,” Lana said then.
“About?”
“Jace is very selective with who introduces us to. You must be something special.”
I blushed slightly, wondering if Olivia had made the cut.
“Who was the last girl he introduced you to?” I found myself asking.
“Well, besides Olivia who we already knew…no one.”
I stared back into her brown eyes with shock. “No one?”
She shook her head no. “Like I said, something special.”
I glanced back at Jace and Boone, taking in the way the moonlight danced off his face, and how his blue eyes sparkled in the light.
“How did you two meet?” Lana asked, still taking in my appearance.
“He saved my life. Will you excuse me?” I stood up suddenly, wanting nothing more than to be near him.
He looked startled when I approached. “I’m tired, I’m going to bed. You want to come?”
His stare looked conflicted. “Actually, I’m going to stay out here a bit longer, is that okay?”
“Of course,” I replied, hoping he wouldn’t think I was mad at him. I wa
s drunk, horny, and tired; a lethal combination.
“I’ll see you in a bit,” he stated and then kissed me on my forehead.
“Night,” Boone called after me as I began the short walk to our yurt.
I was thankful for the alone time. I hadn’t realized how wasted I was. It became apparent as I stumbled back to the yurt.
When I made it inside, my three jackets began to suffocate me, and I nearly ripped them off. I had no patience for changing into my sleepwear, so I simply stepped out of my skinny jeans and was left in my hoodie and underwear.
I giggled at the sight of all my clothes strewn about and then climbed into bed. It felt like a blink of an eye when the body heat next to me became apparent, as well as the ruffling of covers.
How long have I been passed out for? My body was frozen, my heart in my throat. I felt his warm breath on the back of my neck, making all my hairs stand on end.
“Peyton, are you awake?” I heard him whisper through the darkness.
My breathing became still. I was attempting to fake being asleep. If I didn’t, I was going to pounce on him and I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop myself.
When I didn’t answer, I felt an arm snake around my body and pull me in tighter to him.
“Hold up, where are your pants?” Jace’s hands had slid over the band of my lace panties a couple of times.
I couldn’t help but giggle, I guess alcohol was still in my system.
Upon hearing my laugh, he instantly began grabbing at my sides, tickling me.
“You were faking it?” Jace asked, turning me towards him, a shocked expression on his face.
“I just didn’t want to be tempted. When I feel so tingly inside and you look so yummy…” Yep, definitely still drunk…
Jace chuckled softly. “You’re adorable.” He ran his fingers lightly through my hair. “You know you didn’t have to drink so much.”
“I know,” I sighed softly. “I get nervous.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Jace kissed my forehead then. “I would never do anything to hurt you—you know that right?”
I nodded.
“And I would never pressure you to do anything you weren’t ready for…” he paused until I nodded again. “It took me so long to find you, fight for you, and win you over…if I lose you it would all be for not—understand?”
I nodded again, remaining silent.
“Now, let’s get some sleep. We have a long, eventful day tomorrow.” He began to pull away a bit when I squeezed his fingers to stop him.
I turned around so we were finally face to face. I traced my fingers over his nose, his cheeks, taking time to savor every inch of him. When my finger ran over his lips—he pressed them to it and then to the palm of my hand.
He lowered his lips to mine again and again, only this time we were rolling around on the bed.
His hands were exploring my legs, my hips, my thighs. Mine were under his t-shirt, wrapped up in his small chest hair.
Our breathing had intensified, and we were all but moaning with pleasure from the kisses, the closeness. That was until I yelled out the only safe word I could think of in the heated moment, “Mercy!”
Chapter 21
I Looked Different; I Felt Different; Hell, I was Different.
Guys Before
I knew you were the one since the first day our eyes met. I was just looking for a little bit of fun, who would’ve known that’s what I’d get?
You changed my outlook on love, I was a fool thinking all guys would play me. But you came out of the far above and you opened my eyes and helped me see.
You’re nothing like the guys before, more gentle, loving, and caring. I never knew what was in store, until you walked into my life.
Jace and I had been official ever since the atrocious night of my birthday. We took a leap and never looked back. Spending close to every waking moment together we wrapped ourselves up in the new romance. After dating for a month Jace made reservations at a really fancy Thai restaurant. I was surprised; people celebrated being together after only a month? The idea seemed silly to me, but it excited Jace, so I humored him.
After sharing egg rolls and yellow curry Jace drove us out to the same beach we had shared our first kiss on. We entered the cave, the moon was dancing off the rocks and it almost felt too real. Jace kissed me quickly before ripping off his shirt.
“What are you doing?” I asked, finding myself hot instantly by his shirtless torso.
“What do you think I’m doing?” He asked with a coy smile.
“I’m not sure,” I stammered, nervous energy spilling off me. Jace reached for the zipper on the back of my dress. “Jace…” I began, shaking.
“Shhh,” I heard from behind my right ear, sending goose bumps all over my body.
“Jace,” I repeated. “I’m not sure if I am ready….”
He finished unzipping me and the dress instantly fell from my body onto the rocks below us. I was left standing in my bra and panties. I quickly threw my arms in front of my body, attempting to shield him from seeing the part of me I hated. “Do you trust me?” Jace asked softly.
I nodded. “More than anyone.”
“Good.” He grabbed my arms and moved them off of my stomach, then he fell to my feet.
“What are you doing?” I asked, curiously eyeing the back of his head beneath me.
I felt his lips press against the top of my foot, making me giggle. They moved up to my ankle, where he kissed it sweetly.
“Jace?” I tried to get his attention, but he was clearly ignoring me.
His lips had now made their way to the back of my legs, sending chills all over my body. He moved his hands softly across my body following his pattern of kisses. He kissed my knees next, both of them. His hands were still moving up, they were now dangerously close to my hips. He kissed my upper leg and seeing how close he was getting, I instantly threw my arms back over my stomach.
“If that is what you are worried about…we can fix that, together. I love you just the way you are…but if it is really bothersome to you, I will help you tighten it. We can go to the gym every day if you want to.” He looked up at me from his crouched position. “I love every inch of you Peyton Lane, and I am going to prove it to you.” He effortlessly pushed my arms away and began smothering my stomach and extra skin with kisses all over. “I loved you before you lost the weight—I love you now.”
“What do you love about me though?” I pushed, still staring down at him.
He stood then, running his fingers through my choppy layers. “I love how talented and passionate you are. I love your blunt honesty. I love your heart.” He pressed his hand over my heart gently. “I love your determination…” He paused slightly before continuing. “I fell in love with the girl in here.” He pointed to my heart. “I didn’t fall in love with a body or an image—I fell in love with the whole person, you.”
I kissed him eagerly then, parting our lips with my tongue. He nibbled and sucked on my bottom lip ever so gently, which drove me all sorts of crazy. “I’m sorry about this.” Jace broke from the kiss, lightly running his finger over my scar. His expression was etched with guilt.
“That’s not your fault.” I reached up to squeeze his hand and press it against my cheek.
“I know, but if I hadn’t been such an ass I would have saved you from ever going through it.” He was looking down into my eyes then, searching for forgiveness.
“You couldn’t have known Jace…don’t beat yourself up about it,” I said lightly.
“Even though I was stupid, I knew I wanted you from day one. I knew I wanted to get to know you, be around you…”
I smiled lightly back at him. I hated playing the ‘what if’ game. What if he had pursued me from the very beginning? Would Jax still be dead? Would I have had anything to do with Jax more than talking? Would Colton and I have still had our affair? It was all too overwhelming to dissect.
“Can’t we just be thankful that you finally
realized the error of your ways?” I smiled again, attempting to get him out of his funk.
“And boy did I…” He kissed me passionately. “Peyton, you’re irresistible to me…” He pushed me up against the same wall of the cave we had met with in an earlier passionate encounter. The rocks jutted out into my back, but I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was stay wrapped up in Jace for as long as possible.