“I remember,” Ellie said softly.
“James believed his life was about to end. It was then he told me there had been a young woman. In Michigan. A very young woman. An actress. I’ve never forgotten her name. It was Eve. Eve Carson.”
Edward leaned back in his chair, swallowing rapidly and holding his forehead. Ellie didn’t move.
“Perhaps you can understand why I felt it was important never to speak of this to anyone. Edward, your father was a fine man.” Margaret’s voice trailed off as she turned to me and added, “He never knew… ”
I tilted my head, wanting to grasp what I had just heard. “Are you saying he didn’t know my mother got pregnant? He didn’t know about me?”
Margaret drew in another breath for strength. “I can tell you this with absolute certainty. If my husband had known he had fathered another child, regardless of the circumstances, he would have searched day and night until he found you.”
I swallowed the next wave of tears, dearly wanting to believe her words were true. The longing of my entire life was addressed in what this woman was saying to me—this woman who, of all the women in the world, had every reason to despise me.
With wobbling arms, Margaret pushed back her chair from the table. Edward rose quickly and strode across the room to help, but she was standing already. “If you will excuse me, I am going to lie down for a while.”
“I’ll walk with you to your room, Mother.” Edward glanced over his shoulder at me before leaving the dining room. It seemed he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. I didn’t expect him to. Not yet. His expression made it clear he was processing all of this as best he could. In the meantime, his earlier request that I leave his house now seemed to be revoked.
Ellie and I sat across from each other, both speechless. I had the sense the two of us were cushioned together in a sort of soft, gauze-like silence.
Mark appeared in the doorway just then, announcing that he had come to see about the Christmas pudding. “It was Julia’s idea, really. She wanted me to tell you she’s ready.”
“It will be a few more minutes, love. Tell the others for me, will you?”
Mark scampered off, and Ellie reached her hand across the table. I didn’t know if she meant for me to reach for it or not, but I timidly stretched out my arm. She immediately gave my hand a squeeze.
I squeezed back.
Her smile floated across the table, making room for me in her heart the same way she had made room for me in her home.
“I feel so awful,” I whispered.
“Oh, but you mustn’t. It’s going to be all right. You’ll see. Give them—give all of us—a little time. That’s all we need. A little time for this unexpected news to settle in. We’ll come around.”
I nodded hopefully.
“I knew there was something about you when I saw you last night. Now I know what it is. You have his eyes. Did you know that? You have your father’s eyes. As clear as a blue sky on a spring morning.”
Now it was Julia who burst into the dining room. “Mummy, Mark said I’m not allowed any pud because I didn’t finish eating all my turkey!”
“You shall have your Christmas pudding, little love. Your brother is only putting you on. You just ignore him.”
With a fist on her hip Julia declared, “But, Mummy, how can I ignore him? He’s part of this family, you know?”
Ellie and I exchanged grins. “Well, Julia, he’s not the only one who is part of this family, now is he? Every one of us has a place here.”
I drew in the sweet implication of Ellie’s words and held her blessing close. I was accepted. I, too, was part of this family. I belonged here.
“Mummy, will you please come and tell Mark that I get to have my Christmas pud?”
“Yes, yes, I’ll come.” Turning to me she added, “You will excuse me, won’t you? I’ll be back shortly.”
“That’s okay. I can start clearing the table.”
“That would be lovely.”
Julia grinned contentedly. Just before she left the dining room with her mother, she held up her hand to me with a twinkling grin. She wiggled her fingers so I would notice she was wearing the pink diamond ring I had given her from my Christmas cracker. I knew our friendship was sealed.
As I organized the plates and prepared to clear the table, my thoughts touched on all that had happened since I blew into Carlton Heath with the north wind on my heels. The sweetest impression that rested on me was that I was no longer alone. And not just because of the connection I now had with the Whitcombe family.
The attachment I sensed was larger than that. Something profound and abiding had happened in me at the heart level with Almighty God. He was the center of this celebration—the Father of Christmas past, present, and future. He had made himself accessible to me, to all of his children. I had responded, and now I belonged.
Reaching for one of the silly paper crowns, I placed it on my head and grinned at my reflection in the thick glass that covered the painting on the wall. I noticed in the reflection that someone else had entered the dining room. Turning toward the doorway I expected to see Ellie.
A new guest had arrived. A man about my age with a strong jawline and softly questioning eyes stood in front of me. He was wearing a tweed blazer over a black turtleneck. His light brown hair had a windblown look as if he had just arrived in a sports car.
“You must be Miranda,” he said, rolling the “r” with the same Scottish twist that was so evident every time his father said my name.
I quickly pulled the paper crown off my head. “And you must be Andrew’s son.”
“Ian,” he said.
“Ian,” I repeated.
“So.” He gave his earlobe a tug. “I heard you wanted to meet me.”
“Really? The way I heard it, you’re the one who wanted to meet me.”
He smiled.
I smiled.
Both of us seemed to be turning a bit rosy.
I noticed Andrew standing just off to the side in the hallway. The jolly ole elf caught my eye and raised an eyebrow. I knew he was checking to make sure I liked the final gift he had just delivered on his rounds this year.
My answer to him was a great big bashful grin. I think he got the message. Ian certainly did.
That’s when I realized the unimagined had happened. In my heart and in my life, it finally was Christmas.
Reading Group Guide
1. Do you know any women like Miranda who grew up without a father? How have these women filled the empty space in their lives?
2. What do you think of Miranda’s decision to go searching for her birth father?
3. How did Doralee’s spiritual experience affect Miranda in the long run?
4. Why do you think Miranda preferred to think of herself as an accident of nature rather than someone created by God?
5. Miranda liked accounting because the numbers could be “counted on” to always act in certain ways. What or who do you rely on to be stable when the rest of life seems to be on shifting sand?
6. How would you feel if you found yourself depending on the kindness of strangers at Christmastime?
7. What roles did the image of Father Christmas play in the book? In what ways was this “character” like God? In what ways was Father Christmas different from God?
8. Read Genesis 21:8-21. Ishmael was the son of a slave and of the slave’s owner, Abraham. Early in life Ishmael was separated from his father and raised by his mother. How do you think Ishmael felt about his father as Ishmael grew up? What do you think Hagar told her son about his father? Do you think she portrayed Abraham sympathetically or unkindly? What does this story tell us about fathers and mothers? What does it tell us about God as our heavenly Father?
9. Was there ever a time you felt your parents withheld important information from you, including possibly leading you to believe in Santa? How did you feel about your parents when you found out the truth?
10. Miranda was concerned that God might
be like a one-eyed dragon on the other end of the swimming pool. Can you recount a time you thought of God as potentially dangerous? Did you, like Miranda, run away, or did you respond differently?
11. How did God win Miranda’s heart? What does this tell us about him?
12. Can you recall a time someone beckoned you, like Christmas Present called to Miranda, “Come in, and know me better”? How did that make you feel?
13. What do you think of the way Miranda told the Whitcombes about her possible relationship to them? Do you think she handled the situation fairly for all involved?
14. What does the last paragraph of the book tell us has occurred in Miranda spiritually and emotionally?
15. Identify a time when you felt you were experiencing Christmas after a long winter in your life. How did that make you feel about God?
About the Author
Robin Jones Gunn grew up in Southern California, where both her parents were teachers. She attended Biola University and spent time traveling throughout Europe and attending Capern-wray Bible School before marrying Ross Gunn in 1977.
Ross and Robin worked together in youth ministry for over twenty years and raised a son and a daughter while living in interesting places, including Reno and Maui.
When their children were young, Robin would rise at three a.m., make a pot of tea, and write pages and pages about her imaginary friends, Christy, Katie, and Todd. The Christy Miller series became Robin’s first series of novels for teens, followed by the Sierra Jensen series. Over the past twenty years, Robin has written sixty-one books, including the bestselling Sisterchicks® novels for women, along with her award-winning gentle love stories in the Glenbrooke series.
For the past twelve years, Robin and her family have lived near Portland, Oregon, and are part of Imago Dei community. Robin loves to travel. She is a much-loved story-weaver and an aficionado of dark chocolate.
You are warmly invited to visit Robin at her Web site: www.robingunn.com.
If you liked
Finding Father Christmas…
Engaging Father Christmas
Bestselling author Robin Jones Gunn brings readers another charming Christmas novella about a man and a woman, and a Christmas that just might change their relationship forever.
Miranda Carson’s search for belonging continues in ENGAGING FATHER CHRISTMAS, the sequel to Finding Father Christmas. Arriving in Carlton Heath a year after her introduction to the charming community, Miranda is eager to visit the Whitcombe family but harbors doubts about how this Christmas will unfold. Will her relationship with Ian change everything for her and the Whitcombes? More important, how will Miranda respond when the engaging moment comes and Father Christmas is at the door?
Bestselling author Robin Jones Gunn
brings readers a poignant
Christmas novella about a woman
desperate for a place to belong, who finds
herself in England a few days before
Christmas, looking for the father
she never knew.
FINDING FATHER
CHRISTMAS
Miranda Carson’s search for her father takes a turn she never expected when she finds herself in England with only a few feeble clues to who he might be. Unexpectedly welcomed into a family that doesn’t recognize her and whom she’s quickly coming to love, she faces a terrible decision.
Should she reveal her true identity and destroy their idyllic image of her father? Or should she carry the truth home with her to San Francisco and remain alone in this world? Whatever choice she makes during this Christmas will forever change the future for both her and the family she can’t bear to leave.
Robin Jones Gunn combines lyrical writing and unforgettable characters to craft a story of longing and belonging that will stay with readers long after they close the pages of this book.
“Enchanting. Engrossing. Enriching. Gunn’s novella is a gift to be opened and savored—best digested with a cup of tea on a cold winter’s day. I look forward to the next installment of Miranda’s story so I can find out what transpires next!”
—LISA T. BERGREN, author of The Begotten, The Betrayed, and What Women Want
Ross Jones Gunn III
ROBIN JONES GUNN is the bestselling author of sixty books, representing nearly 3.5 million copies sold. A dozen of her novels have appeared at the top of the CBA bestseller list, including her wildly successful Sisterchicks® series, the Glenbrooke series, and the popular Christy Miller series for teens. Robin and her husband of thirty years have two grown children and live near Portland, Oregon, where they are longtime members of Imago Dei Community, the church written about in Donald Miller’s book Blue Like Jazz. You can find out more about Robin at her Web site: www.robingunn.com.
Praise for
FINDING FATHER
CHRISTMAS
“With deep warmth and charming poignancy, Robin Jones Gunn brings us a tale as timeless as Christmas.”
—KAREN KINGSBURY, bestselling author of Like Dandelion Dust and Just Beyond the Clouds
“With tender beauty, Robin Jones Gunn weaves a timeless Christmas tale that touches the fatherless place in us all—welcoming us home into the Family, reminding us that we are all invited to be a part of the great Father heart of God.”
—JOANNA WEAVER, bestselling author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World and Having a Mary Spirit
“Robin Jones Gunn has produced yet another warm, affectionate, heartfelt tale. This book is a winner.”
—DAVIS BUNN, bestselling author of Imposter
“With magical prose and a touching story, Robin has woven a heartwarming Christmas tale. Cozy up with a cup of tea and enjoy!”
—MELODY CARLSON, author of An Irish Christmas and These Boots Aren’t Made for Walking
“On the calendar, Christmas arrives at the beginning of winter. In our individual lives, however, ‘Christmas’ often comes at the end of a long winter—and this inspiring book shows us just how special its long-awaited arrival can be!”
—BRET NICHOLAUS, bestselling author of The Christmas Letters
Robin Jones Gunn, Finding Father Christmas
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