“Yep.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. He owes me. I bailed his ass out and he knows it. I don’t know if I would have ever come up here if he’d told me the straight-up truth.”
“We never would have met.”
“No.”
He slid his hand across the table and gripped mine. We looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment before Rose flung oatmeal into my lap and Bradly licked it off my thigh.
“I should go visit Regan soon, just to see how she is.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I’m not sure. I have to try, though.”
“I suppose.”
“And Zoe’s leaving. It’s just going to be us here soon.”
“Leaving — leaving where?”
“Seattle, with Stacy from the gym.”
“Wow, why?”
“Why not? She’s got a life to live and there’s no reason for her to stay here. She wants to get back into cheerleading and dance. I don’t blame her.”
“Where is she going to stay?”
“Some shared house with Stacy’s cousin.”
Damien raised his eyebrow. I knew what he was thinking. Zoe was young, and she’d lived in a small town all her life. She might be responsible and tough-minded, but she was also naive.
“Kid doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into.”
Over the next several weeks, Zoe packed her things for her move to Washington. I felt a tremendous amount of apprehension letting her go, but I wasn’t going to say anything to discourage her. I let her know she always had a home to come back to. That was all I could do.
The day before Zoe planned to leave for Seattle, we borrowed Martel’s SUV and traveled to the psychiatric hospital to see Regan.
Damien drove us up to the parking lot of a massive stone building that looked like some kind of gothic fortress. The grounds were surrounded by a tall stone fence, and the iron front gate had a security camera and guards.
We went inside to find a waiting room like a doctor’s office with a nurse behind a glass-walled reception desk. I’d made an appointment to see Regan. It had all been approved by her doctors, but I still felt nervous when I approached the nurse.
“I’m here to see my sister,” I stammered.
The hospital reminded me of an insane asylum from a horror movie. No wonder Regan didn’t want to come here. Damien put his hand on my shoulder, and Zoe took Rose from my arms.
The nurse led us down a sterile hospital-like hallway to an office door. She knocked once and a smooth male voice invited us to enter. All four of us piled into his office and the attractive young doctor raised his eyebrows at us from behind his desk.
“I brought the whole family. I hope that isn’t a problem.”
“No, no. Please have a seat.”
He leaned over his desk to shake my hand and introduced himself as Dr. Benjamin Stone. He was tall with a warm inviting face and tousled brown hair.
“I’ll wait outside so you can talk,” said Damien.
Dr. Stone sat behind his desk and smoothed down his tie. “Regan is stabilizing on a mixture of anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. Her condition has improved tremendously since she arrived. She’s on a schedule of individual and group therapy sessions. I think you will be impressed with her rapid change.”
“Oh, thank God,” I said. I nearly fell out of my chair with relief and excitement.
“She’s outside on the lawn, waiting to see you.”
We filed out of the room and Damien joined us to walk down the hallway and out into a bright manicured garden. We moved across a patio where other residents talked and played Frisbee. Regan sat at a bench gazing at the tall eucalyptus trees that shimmered in the distance.
“Regan?” I said, hoping for a good response.
“Oh, Claire!” She jumped from the bench and threw her arms around me. “I’m so sorry.” I hugged her back, happy to see her looking well-groomed and calm. She hugged Zoe, and we all sat down around a picnic table.
“Are you okay here?” I asked her.
“Yes. This is a much better hospital than the last one. I’ve got a great doctor.”
“We met him,” said Zoe, humor in her voice. “He’s cute.”
“Dr. Stone has been a miracle. He’s helped me look at my illness more objectively.”
“I thought you might still be angry.”
“I was at first. I was so angry for several days, I couldn’t even eat. After a while, the medication started to work and the sessions with Dr. Stone brought me around. I’m actually glad I’m here now. It gives me a chance to learn how to cope.”
“What about the drugs?”
“I was on a course of methadone since the car crash. I don’t need it anymore and it’s out of my system. I still have a long way to go, though. Sometimes it gets tough. My illness cycles fast, so the meds have to keep up with my mood changes. I’m still getting pretty bad delusions. Today, I’m okay. I don’t know about tomorrow. I might get pissed again.” She laughed but her face told a different story. She was in the midst of the battle of her life.
She told us about life in the hospital and some of the horror stories of other patients. It didn’t sound like the most fun place to be, but she seemed content enough to be there. By the time we left, the guilt that had been in the pit of my stomach since the trial started to dissipate.
The next day, Stacy drove the U-Haul trailer to our house and we helped Zoe load her things inside. Stacy had an old pickup that her father had given her, and the U-Haul trailer hitched to the back. I hoped it would make it all the way to Washington.
After everything was packed, Zoe threw her arms around me. Tears brimmed in my eyes, and I couldn’t keep them from flowing. When she pulled back, I could see hers were pouring too.
“Zoe, you can always come home. Call me if you need anything. I’m always here for you.”
“I know. Don’t worry about me. I’m going to be fine. It’s an adventure! I’m so excited. But I’m going to miss you so much.” Her tears dripped onto my bare shoulder as she hugged me again.
We said our last goodbyes, and I watched Zoe drive off and out of sight. I turned to Damien, who held Rose. The sight of his big strong arms gently holding my baby made my heart surge. I put my hand on his wrist and raised myself on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
I drew Rose into my arms and smelled her sweet skin. Damien put his arm around me as we turned toward the house.
“Everything is going to be alright now,” he said as we walked through the front door. I believed him.
Chapter Thirty-One: Damien
Warm air blew in from the gleaming turquoise blue water of the Gulf of Mexico. Claire slathered Rose in sunscreen under the cabana, and they ran out into the white sand in their swimsuits. I watched her twirl Rose in the air before setting her down to run into the warm water. She held Rose’s hand as the waves washed up the beach.
We came to Cancun a few weeks after Zoe left for Seattle. Martel agreed to fund our trip so I could find my mother. My stomach twisted when I thought about what I would say when I finally saw her. Martel also gave me his Range Rover and an eighty percent ownership in the tattoo shop. I guess he felt guilty for being such a dick with all the blackmail and everything. I accepted it. I owned that decision.
He made me his unofficial second in the club, and I was all right with that. I was less afraid of the law than another run-in with the Devil’s Dozen. So far, they’d kept their word, and everything was running smoothly.
I jogged out to Claire and Rose, and grabbed Claire around the waist. She shrieked with delight. I set her down and she shoved me ass-first into the water. Shock mingled with laugher as a waved crashed against my back. I jumped to my feet in my soaking board shorts and hugged her to me, drenching her with the water rolling down my bare chest. She squealed, and Rose’s hysterical laughter made us both smile.
I took Claire’s hand in mine and sh
e tilted her face up to me, her green eyes flashing with joy. Our toes dug into the warm white sand and the fragrant scent of salt water and sea life blew on the soft breeze. It reminded me of the day we met, when I drew a picture of her and Rose on the beach. It had been one of the most inspiring moments of my life. It stuck in my head and burst me open.
Now, I was in that picture too. Right where I belonged.
Thank you for reading ‘This Mess We’re In”. Zoe’s adventure in Seattle is coming soon in ‘This Game We Play”.
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Scarlett Grove, This Mess We're In
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