Adopt an Entourage
This time-honored trick takes a bit of finesse. Wait somewhere inconspicuous until a large group of people approaches the door. Then simply join the mob. The doorman’s unlikely to give each person a grilling—particularly if there’s someone important leading the way. But make sure you look like you belong with your new friends. If you’re dressed head to toe in J.Crew, you’ll probably stick out in a crowd of goth Lolitas or motorcycle chicks.
Take Advantage of Your Age
Unfortunately, this works only if you’re under fifteen and the party isn’t adults only. Muster up a tear or two and tell the doorman you’re looking for your parents, your wallet, or one of your mother’s pearl earrings. If you’re escorted inside, simply give your companion the slip. Odds are, he won’t waste his time hunting down an innocent kid.
Ask for the Bathroom
This ruse works best at bigger, fancier parties. Before the ball, dress your best, but use your powers of disguise to look under the weather. Hurry toward the entrance when the doorman’s busy (but not overwhelmed) and ask him directions to the bathroom. If your request sounds urgent—not over the top—you’ll be ushered inside. No one wants vomit on the red carpet.
Don’t Be a Wallflower
Once you’re inside, be sure to mingle. You’re less likely to get bounced if you’ve made some new friends.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Secret’s Out
The Irregulars were crowded into a booth at Fat Frankie’s. Iris, who’d slipped away from her parents in all the confusion, was feeding french fries to the three large squirrels hidden underneath the table while Kaspar and Betty flirted with abandon. A tower of empty plates was evidence of the ferocious hunger that had overcome the group when we’d arrived at the restaurant. Kiki and I sipped coffee as the others crammed their mouths with an array of greasy delights. Luz had single-handedly inhaled two gyros, a hamburger, and a hot-fudge sundae. I hadn’t eaten in more than thirty-six hours, but the hunger pangs I should have been feeling had been smothered by fear.
As we waited for Oona to finish with New York’s finest, the others chatted, mostly about the mysterious girl who’d been introduced as Lester Liu’s daughter. Luz insisted she was Oona’s twin. Betty couldn’t be sure. DeeDee didn’t believe they were any relation. When asked for her opinion, Kiki shrugged and refused to join the debate. Bets were being waged as Oona entered Fat Frankie’s. Luz subtly tucked her cash back into her pocket and pulled another chair up to the table.
Perhaps because of our own ridiculous attire, none of us had considered what Oona would wear to the after party. She arrived sporting a plastic police-issue rain poncho over her cotton nightgown, and her feet flopped around in a pair of oversized Converse sneakers. Somehow she made the outfit look chic. And despite the burden of goose bumps and synthetic fibers, she seemed happier than I’d ever seen her.
“Hello, shorty,” she said, plopping down next to Iris. “Cute dress. Who’d have thought I’d be saved by a bunch of squirrels and a talking plum?”
Iris struck back with a smile. “You’re welcome, Wong. I see your brush with death hasn’t done much for your personality.”
“Haven’t you heard? I’m hopeless.” Oona laughed. “I suggest you get used to it.”
“How did everything go with the police?” Luz asked.
“Let’s just say that Lester Liu won’t be bothering any of us for a very long time. The police are at the mansion right now. Along with kidnapping, attempted murder, art theft, and smuggling, it looks like they’re planning to charge him with eating endangered animals and keeping a corpse in his house. I guess that’s illegal in New York—who knew? And they found Molotov and Sukh—you guys really did a number on those two.”
“Are they dead?” whispered Betty.
“No, but they probably wish they were. I heard the paramedics say that Molotov would be in a body cast for months. We should go to the hospital and stick chili peppers up his nose.”
“What about the other girl?” I asked. “Did you find out who she is?”
“Lillian Liu? She’s long gone,” Oona said. “And Lester’s not talking. I never got a chance to see her. Was she cuter than I am? Just joking. No really, what’d she look like?”
“Um,” Luz said nervously. “You know, it’s funny. She looked just like you.”
Oona took the information in stride. “I guess she’d have to look pretty similar for my father’s plan to work. I wonder where he found such a remarkable specimen of feminine beauty.”
“No, seriously, Oona. She looked exactly like you,” Luz insisted. “Are you sure you’re Lester Liu’s only child?”
“Luz needs glasses,” DeeDee butted in. “I didn’t think she looked that similar. So what went wrong with the plan? Why did they decide to tie you up?”
“Just bad luck, I suppose. Sukh gave me an injection, and when I didn’t feel anything happen, I figured you guys had switched the drug. I tried to stay still, but it’s a lot harder than you’d think. Just when they were putting me into the coffin, my nose really started to itch, and Molotov caught me in the middle of a scratch. I guess they didn’t have time to try any other drugs, so they just held me down and wrapped me up. I’m really lucky you all made it into the party. If you hadn’t been there, it could have gotten really boring inside that coffin.”
“You can joke now, but you shouldn’t have risked your life,” Kaspar told her. “If something had gone wrong, we couldn’t have forgiven ourselves. But thank you for protecting us.”
Oona frowned. “You don’t have to thank me. I owed it to these guys. I made it really hard for them to trust me, and they still showed up to save the day.” She turned to the rest of us. “I should have told you about Lester Liu years ago. I’m sorry I put you in danger.”
“We’re sorry for doubting your loyalty,” DeeDee told her. “We should have had more faith in you.”
“Then I suggest we all stop feeling sorry. Everything turned out okay in the end, didn’t it?” Oona grinned.
“I’m just looking forward to a little peace and quiet.” Betty sighed.
“And some sleep,” added Luz.
“Don’t expect any right away.” Kiki spoke at last, and the Irregulars fell silent. “Ananka has a confession to make.”
All eyes turned to me. It was the surprise in them that made me feel ill. No one ever expected me to break any rules. “When I got in trouble at school, my principal assigned me an essay as punishment. I wrote about the Underground Railroad.”
“Perhaps you’d like to be more specific?” Kiki goaded me.
I took a deep breath and let the words flow out on the exhale. “I wrote about the Underground Railroad stop beneath Bialystoker Synagogue. The one Kiki and I found in the Shadow City.”
“You did what!” Luz leaped to her feet and a plate shattered on the ground, spraying a chair with catsup.
“Oh, Ananka!” Betty was horror-stricken. “Why?”
“What is she talking about?” Kaspar whispered to Iris. “What’s the Shadow City?”
“I can’t tell you,” Iris whispered back.
“I guess I didn’t think that the stop should be a secret,” I told Betty. “But I never thought the principal would take it seriously. I thought she’d laugh it off. I’m not exactly Atalanta’s star student. But it turns out the principal believed every word of it.”
“And she’s told other people,” Kiki added. “Ananka has put the Shadow City at risk of discovery. We need to decide what to do. We need to decide tonight.”
“You mean decide how to keep people out of the tunnels?” asked Iris.
“Yes. And decide whether Ananka should remain a member of the Irregulars.”
I stared down at the table, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. The stunned silence was excruciating.
At last, DeeDee cleared her throat. “Ananka, I don’t know why you thought the principal wouldn’t believe you. That’s just stupid, if you don’t mind my saying so. Bu
t I’m curious—why do you think that the room under Bialystoker Synagogue shouldn’t stay a secret?”
“Well …” The truth was, I hadn’t really thought through my actions. I’d only followed my gut. “I guess I’d been thinking a lot about secrets and how it’s hard to know which ones to keep. No offense, Oona, but your secret ended up causing a lot of trouble. And then I made things even worse by opening my big mouth and spilling a secret that Kiki had asked me to keep. But there’s one thing I’m pretty sure of. I don’t think a secret should be kept if sharing it could do the world some good. Whoever built that room with the ten little beds risked her life to help other people escape from slavery. And the people who passed through were brave enough to do whatever it took to make it to freedom. Everyone in New York should know what they did. The Underground Railroad isn’t like the Shadow City. Keeping it to ourselves would just be selfish. But I realize the decision wasn’t mine to make. I should have spoken to the rest of you.”
DeeDee watched me with a blank, scientific expression. I felt certain I hadn’t convinced her.
“I agree with Ananka,” she said. “People should know about the Underground Railroad stop.”
“I think so, too,” Betty said.
“The answer to your dilemma lies under the temple,” Oona quoted. “I still don’t know what that means, but I vote to let people know.”
“What did you just say?” asked Luz. “Never mind. I agree with the rest of them. And I’ll also add that Ananka hasn’t been the only person keeping secrets around here, Miss Strike. But what are we going to do? Are we going to open up the Shadow City to the public? Is it all over?”
“Hold on. Let me think for a second.” DeeDee bent her head and let her fingers trace the scar on her forehead. “The room was at the end of a tunnel, right? What if we set off an explosion and block the passage? We could even give people access to that storeroom with all the pickled oysters. We’d just make it look like the tunnel was never meant to go any farther. Nobody would ever know the difference.”
“I like it!” said Luz. “We haven’t had a good explosion in a long time.”
“It does seem like a reasonable solution,” Kiki admitted. “So I guess we’re all in agreement. Ananka stays and the Underground Railroad goes public. Any questions?”
Kaspar raised his hand. “I have one. Have you guys been talking about some sort of subterranean city?”
The entire table howled with laughter.
• • •
The Irregulars unanimously voted to let Kaspar in on our secret. Kiki even promised him a tour of the Shadow City. On one condition.
“As Luz pointed out, there have been quite a few secrets floating around. I think it’s time for all of us to come clean. So if anyone’s been keeping information to herself, now’s the time to share it. I’ll start. I’m sorry I didn’t tell some of you how serious Verushka’s illness had gotten. My intentions were good, but you all deserved to know. I’d also like to recommend that we use Fille Fiable only in the most dire emergencies—and promise never to use it on one another. Everyone agree?”
“Agree!” cried the table.
“Okay, Kaspar, it’s your turn.”
“Well …” Kaspar glanced nervously at Betty. “This is harder than I thought. My name isn’t Kaspar, it’s Phineas Parker. I ran away from home a few months ago. My parents are … well, they’re hard to describe.”
“I know,” said Betty. “I’ve met them. We went to see them after you disappeared.”
“You did?” Kaspar’s face flushed with embarrassment. “Whatever they said to you, I deeply apologize. They can be quite cruel.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” Betty assured him. “We don’t hold people responsible for their parents anymore.”
“Were they the psychologists Oona mentioned at the gala—the ones who gave Lester Liu the names of the Taiwanese kids?” DeeDee asked.
Kaspar nodded. “I’m sure I saw Oona’s father at my parents’ office before I ran away. I doubt they meant to do anything wrong. They’re not the best parents in the world, but I don’t think they’re criminals. Now, do you mind if we move on? I’m curious to hear what secrets Betty has hidden.”
“My secret? Okay, here goes. I want all of you to know that I’ve decided to honor my deal with Kaspar. I’m going to have dinner with him—if that’s still what he wants.”
“What about the … you know what?” Luz asked.
“What?” Betty asked in confusion.
“Eau Irresistible?” Luz whispered.
“My turn.” Oona quickly raised her hand. “Ananka and I happened to overhear a conversation about the first time Kaspar saw Betty. It was about a month before she spilled the Eau Irresistible.” Kaspar and Betty turned matching shades of red.
“I wouldn’t say it’s a secret, but there’s something I probably should have told the rest of you earlier,” DeeDee broke in. “Iris did some more tests without me. The love perfume doesn’t work. It never did.”
“I’ve got a crush on a boy who makes the deliveries for a falafel shop,” Iris admitted. “I practically took a bath in Eau Irresistible and he never looked twice at me. And I’m a really big tipper!”
“That’s your secret?” Oona laughed.
“I’m eleven. Give me time,” Iris said.
“You know, one day soon, you’re not going to need any perfume,” Kaspar told her, and Iris squirmed with pleasure.
“Luz?” Kiki prompted. “Anything you’d like to share?”
“Um, well, my name isn’t really Luz Lopez. It’s Amber White. I’m a forty-five-year-old dental technician from Toledo, and in my spare time I enjoy dressing up as Disney characters. I joined the Irregulars because I really like hanging around with fourteen-year-olds. I hope you guys won’t hold it against me.”
DeeDee laughed so hard that coffee spurted from her nose.
“Okay, Luz,” Kiki said. “We get it. No secrets. Oona, anything else you’d like to tell the group?”
“Don’t look at me, I’m one hundred percent clean. You guys know everything now.”
“Oh really?” Iris sang. “What about the lab coats? And the chemistry set?”
“Look who’s a girl detective now,” said Oona. “Those aren’t secrets. I figured I owed you a gift or two after I’d been so nasty. But you can send your thank-you note to Lester Liu—he paid for them.”
“All done?” Kiki asked. “Anyone got anything else on her chest?”
“There is something you should know, Oona,” I said softly. Everyone looked nervous. “When we broke out of the mansion, I think we had a little help.”
“Are you talking about the ghost?” Oona asked. “She’s pretty handy to have around, isn’t she? I wonder if Mrs. Fei would let her come haunt us.”
“Yeah, but there’s something else. Sergei Molotov told us he threw all the food that night and made the noises for our bugs. If the mansion really does have a ghost, I don’t think it’s your mom.”
“Of course it isn’t,” Oona said. “It’s Cecelia Varney.”
“You know?” Betty asked.
“Sure. I figured it out when she showed me the secret room. I don’t think she wanted me to end up the way she did—rich, lonely, and paranoid. I wish there was something I could do for her.”
“I think I know how to thank her,” said Kiki.
• • •
We left Fat Frankie’s at ten p.m. Iris hailed a cab and sped off toward home, hoping the last of our Fille Fiable would help convince her parents that she’d gotten lost in the madness at the museum. The rest of us headed for Oona’s house. There were still two tasks to finish before we went home to face our punishments. After all, those of us with parents might not see daylight until the new year. Most of the Irregulars put on a brave face, but Luz lost all color every time she thought of what her mother might have in store for her.
The smell of dumplings filled the stairwell of Oona’s building, and we could hear people laughing ins
ide the apartment. Yu, Siu Fah, and the other kidnapped kids were celebrating their freedom in the living room. They applauded as we entered the apartment and barraged Oona with questions. While she answered each one in Hakka, Kiki and I went to look for Verushka. We found her in the kitchen, hacking up a chicken. Though she leaned heavily on a crutch, Verushka was out of her wheelchair and her skin, while pale, looked remarkably human. Mrs. Fei’s herbs had brought her back from the brink of death.
“Kiki! Ananka!” Veruskha put down her cleaver, limped across the room, and threw her arms around both of us. “The children told us about the mummy and the museum. Did everything go as planned?”
“Does anything ever go as planned?” I asked. “I’m happy to see you looking so healthy, Verushka. Do you feel as good as you look?”
“Oh yes,” Verushka confirmed. “Mrs. Fei is an excellent doctor. But I am thinking it would be better to be dead.” Kiki looked horrified and started to object, but Verushka silenced her. “Listen to me, Katarina. If Livia believes I am dead, we will have the advantage again.”
“The element of surprise?” Kiki asked. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“We must find a way to let people believe I am gone.”
“But you don’t have to worry about Livia and Sidonia,” I said. “They won’t be coming back to New York now that we’ve destroyed their plans.”
Verushka patted me on the shoulder. “We must teach you to play chess soon,” she said. “That way you will learn to think ahead. We must always worry about Livia and Sidonia. They have made their move, and now we must make ours. We will force them to return to New York.”
“Why?” I asked, just as Mrs. Fei emerged from the pantry with her arms filled with cans.
“Where is Wang?” the old woman asked anxiously when she saw us. “Is she safe?”
“She’s in the living room,” I assured her. “And Lester Liu is in jail.”
“Talking about me again?” Mrs. Fei’s mouth snapped shut as Oona pushed through the door. “Go ahead, Mrs. Fei, practice your English.” Oona folded her arms across her chest and waited for the old woman to speak.