Hawk looked startled. Then he laughed. "I can honestly say that no one has asked me that before." He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "But, if I had known it was that easy . . ."
He didn't have to finish that sentence to make her thighs press tighter together in a semisatisfying squeeze. This man was making her shiver and heating her up all at once, and Natalie had to confess she liked the wild sensations running through her body.
Natalie jumped up, needing to move, to displace the sudden energy burning through her. She had gone through a myriad of emotions over the last few days, and right now she felt joy. It just felt right when she was in Hawk's presence. Smiling, she stood and made her way to the rink.
It didn't take Hawk long to follow her, and soon, Natalie was laughing as Hawk lifted her into his arms and spun her around as he glided seamlessly in and out of the other couples on the ice. She was out of breath by the time he set her back on her wobbly feet.
"How in the heck did you get so good at ice-skating?" she gasped.
"I play ice hockey every year," he said smugly.
"Mmm. Now, that's something I have to see."
After another hour on the ice, she was growing more confident, taking longer strides, and even spinning a few times with a few of her students who happened to be there. She wasn't even cold anymore--in fact, with all the activity, she was a little warm. In Montana, of all places!
When she fell against the wall and then felt solid arms cage her in, she didn't hesitate to turn around. She forgot all about the crowd when Hawk's lips captured hers and she found herself lost in his embrace.
Bethel lifted a cup of steaming cider to her lips and took a sip. "I know I should be a lot happier about this. But those two kids are leaving us with nothing to do," she groused from the sidelines of the ice-skating rink.
"I know. I thought we'd surely have to do a little more meddling," Eileen said with a grumble of her own.
"Yes. They appear to be falling in love," Maggie sighed, too happy to be grumpy about it.
"What are you ladies up to?"
The three women turned guilty stares to their friend Martin Whitman.
"Oh, just enjoying watching the kids skate," Bethel said. Unfortunately, she'd never been good at telling a fib and she flushed, but she hoped he thought it was from the cold.
His eyes narrowed and he looked out at the ice. It didn't take long for him to home in on Hawk and Natalie, who were still locked in a passionate embrace.
"Enjoying the show, huh?" he said as he sat down.
"Yes. The kids are really getting good," Eileen said with a nervous giggle.
"Somehow I don't think it's the little kids you're watching," Martin said with a laugh. "You know, you'd better spill everything to me right now, or I might have to figure it out on my own and tell other people what you're up to."
Maggie's outrage showed only too clearly. "Martin Whitman, you wouldn't dare."
"I'm sure your husband wouldn't be too pleased if he learns that you're meddling in the kids' lives," Martin said with a self-satisfied grin.
"All right. Fine, then," Maggie snapped, and she gave a nod to her two best friends.
They spilled the whole story. They would be pleased to know that their meddling was putting some ideas into Martin's head about his own stubborn sons, who still refused to settle down . . .
chapter 14
The stage filled with children in red, white, and green, and even a few in traditional costumes associated with the Near East and Africa. The young performers giggled as they looked out upon the audience, searching for their parents and waving excitedly.
Natalie felt like she was going to be sick. They weren't ready! She was going to prove herself a failure--had she taught them well, given them good direction? Or would they choke out there?
The last week of rehearsals had zipped right by. The only things she could remember about the time were the looks that Hawk threw her from across the gym, making her forget her voice as she tried to sing along with the kids. Now Natalie was standing in the wings, shaking in her nice slacks as the auditorium filled with parents all expecting to see a show as good as the one put on last year.
"Calm down. It'll be fine."
Hawk was standing beside her, a reassuring smile on his lips. But instead of calming down, she felt her heart pick up speed while she remembered that twelve short hours ago he hadn't been telling her to calm down. He'd been making her cry out.
"I can't do this," she said in a hushed wail.
"Not only can you do this, but you will do it, and you'll do it well. I've been here with you the entire time. You're amazing with the kids. They love you. And so they'll perform their little hearts out for you." He rested a hand on her shoulder.
The gesture settled her down, finally. Hawk believed in her, and if this man, a man she was falling so deeply for, believed in her, how could she go wrong?
"You'll save me if I freeze?" Funny question to ask a fire chief . . .
"I won't need to rescue you, Natalie. You're confident, beautiful, and more than capable of hosting a pageant. Go and knock the socks off these parents."
He nudged her forward, and Natalie had no choice but to step from behind the curtain and face the entire town. Feeling her cheeks turn as bright as the lights she was under, Natalie nevertheless walked to the microphone with what she hoped appeared to be confidence. A hush fell over the crowd as the children behind her continued to giggle and wave.
"Thank you all for coming out this snowy evening." Natalie felt her throat tighten. These people didn't want her to fail. They just wanted to enjoy their children. If only she'd realized this sooner, she wouldn't have been such a wreck.
"I have to admit that when I first arrived in Sterling and walked out of those airport doors, I was in shock. When I saw the one lone street of businesses, I didn't know how I'd survive." No one said anything as she paused to swallow her emotions. "But during this last month, I've fallen in love with this town. How could I not when my neighbors have brought me goodies and cheer, when my classroom is full of beautiful, talented students, all eager to learn, and when every time I step from my home there is always someone passing by with a wave and a good morning? All I wanted to do in the beginning was to run far away to somewhere bigger and warmer, but now I can't imagine teaching anywhere else. Thank you for trusting me with your children, and for believing in me to give you a good pageant. I can guarantee the children are ready. As for me, on the other hand . . ." She trailed off with a laugh that had the audience doing the same.
"I can't promise perfection, but I can guarantee I'll always put in a thousand percent effort. Enough about me and my silly emotions. It's time to watch the show!"
Natalie knelt down in front of the kids, and they took over, singing their songs in celebration of Christmas, completely off tune and with full delight.
During the last number, five children stepped forward, and while the kids behind them sang "Silent Night," they signed the words for a mother in the audience who was deaf. It had been something one of her young students had asked to do for her mother, and Natalie had been touched immeasurably by the request. Standing next to the kids, she signed along with them, looking down and smiling at the woman they were doing it for.
When the song ended, the audience maintained a reverential silence for a few moments, and then several people lifted their hands and waved, the universal sign language for applause. The children were glowing with pride as they walked offstage, and as Natalie prepared to thank everyone and call an end to the pageant, Martin Whitman stood up and walked to the microphone.
"The parents would like to extend a very special thank-you to our newest teacher, Ms. Natalie Duncan, for directing another beautiful pageant. You were thrown in at the last minute, and you've done a spectacular job.
"And we'd also like to present an award to our very own fire chief, Mr. Hawk Winchester. This year marks his tenth pageant, and his help with building sets, moving equipment, bringing
in the other firefighters to set it all up, and coordinating the necessary fund-raising has always been invaluable. Would you come out here and join us, Hawk?"
The audience burst into applause, and Natalie found herself standing next to Martin as Hawk approached. Their gazes connected and even a room full of people was unable to tear her eyes from him until he turned toward the audience with his most winning smile.
"Thanks, Martin," Hawk said. "I love these pageants, and I feel that I'm getting far more from it than the help I'm giving. I hope you keep me around helping for at least another ten years."
"We're not going to let you go that soon, son," Martin joked.
"Not a chance," someone in the audience called out.
Then Hawk placed an arm around Natalie's shoulders and turned them both to allow photographs to be taken. But instead of facing the camera, she looked up into Hawk's eyes, instantly feeling lost in their deep brown depths. And then, right there in front of the entire town, Hawk claimed her lips and at the same time captured the rest of her heart.
chapter 15
I can't come with your family!"
Natalie was standing in her living room, still wearing her pajamas and looking at Hawk as if he were insane. There was no way she would intrude on his family at Christmas. It was bad enough she'd been thrust upon them on Thanksgiving.
"You're coming," he said with the same sickeningly confident smile he'd been sporting since he'd walked in the front door.
"No, I'm not, Hawk. Christmas is family time."
"And you have no other family, so my mother has decided to adopt you," he told her. "Besides, she's invited a few other friends. The holidays are about more than just family being together. It's a time to leave no one out."
Natalie turned away, pretending to wipe dust from the spotless end table as tears forced their way into her eyes. Dammit, she was always crying now, like some sappy twit, and she sure as sin didn't want to expose her vulnerability where family was concerned. Her relationship with Hawk had been moving at the speed of light, and she felt overwhelmed.
To hear him say so casually that his mother had adopted her choked her up. But she was never going to admit to anyone how badly she wanted to be part of a real family. It would make her sound too desperate, too pathetic.
"Hey? What's wrong?"
Hawk came up behind her, slipped his arms around her waist, and tugged her against him. Great. Having him touch her certainly wouldn't help her gain control over her wretched emotions.
Despite all her efforts, a damned tear fell. They hadn't spoken of the future. They hadn't talked about a happily-ever-after. She hadn't told him how she felt about him.
"Nothing. I'm just . . ." She was just what? She had no freaking idea.
"I'm not demanding that you come with us," he said softly, his breath washing across her cheek. "I'm asking you to please make this Christmas my best one ever, and join us."
How could she tell him no after that? "Okay," she whispered.
"Why is this so hard on you?" he asked again, this time making her face him.
Natalie suddenly needed to speak about it, needed to release the weight from her shoulders. He said nothing more as he waited, his hands caressing her arms and back. She could do this.
"I . . . it was always just me and my mother while I was growing up. She had me when she was only fifteen, and I grew up in shelters, and then she worked hard and got us a little apartment. Mom worked all the time, I mean like seven days a week. Even working so much, we never had enough--not enough food, clothes, not enough to pay the bills. Mom told me over and over again not to mess up like she'd done, not to fall for a guy who would walk away at the first sign of trouble. She told me to go to school, get an education, and get a good job. She was bitter a lot, but she did love me."
"I'm sure she loved you very much," he whispered when she paused for too long.
"She did," Natalie sighed. "She did the best she could. But I had no family, Hawk. I had no one but her and she was gone so much. We didn't do holidays; we didn't celebrate much. I feel like I'm betraying her by enjoying my life."
"You feel that way because you are kind and caring. But, Natalie, if she truly loved you, she would want you to be happy. Don't all parents want better for their children than what they had for themselves?"
"I don't know, Hawk . . ." Would her mom forgive her for straying from her goals? She honestly didn't know.
"I know I want my kids to be happy," he said.
"Do you have some secret children you've been hiding from me, Hawk?" She smiled up at him, trying so hard to quit her self-pity party.
"It's not that easy to divert my attention, Natalie. Let my family love you. Don't feel guilt about it, and don't feel sadness. Just let us love you."
When he said us, her heart leapt with joy. But what exactly did he mean by it? The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she wasn't brave enough to ask--not yet, not now. After an extended silence, Natalie was relieved when he asked whether she needed help packing. Their talk was over for now, and she'd survived it. She'd shared something with him, and he hadn't turned away in disgust. There was hope, after all, that the two of them would make this relationship last longer than his three-date maximum.
As they moved through the house, he looked up and smiled. "My family has a cabin up in the woods where we spend Christmas every year," he told her.
"I've never seen a white Christmas," Natalie admitted, not that she'd ever gotten to celebrate Christmas, not really. "I'm kind of excited, though I still hate the idea of snow on every day other than Christmas."
"Let's get your bags in the truck and get up there. You will never miss California again after spending Christmas at our family cabin."
"I already don't miss it, Hawk."
The smile he sent her as he helped her into his truck almost made her heart stop. "Natalie Duncan, I'm not letting you escape." With that, he closed her door and moved around to the driver's side, leaving Natalie to wonder exactly what he meant by that.
When they arrived at the cabin a couple of hours later, she learned that her idea of a cabin and Hawk's idea were completely different. Yes, the building was made from logs, but this place wasn't some rustic little cabin in the woods. It was enormous! Large enough to house several families and all their friends.
That was a good thing, because when they walked in the door, Natalie found what appeared to be half the town inside. Several dozen people were gathered in the spacious living room, their voices carrying with its high vaulted ceilings. Christmas decorations adorned the walls and eggnog sloshed in everyone's cup.
No one made a big deal when she and Hawk arrived, for which Natalie was grateful. They just greeted the two of them with eggnog and spoke with Natalie like she belonged. It didn't take too long for her to grow comfortable and realize this wasn't a dream. When it came time to go hunting for a Christmas tree, she was thankful she didn't miss out on joining Hawk and his family and their many friends.
"Are you too cold?"
Natalie entwined her arm with Hawk's and snuggled a little closer. "A bit, but it's refreshing. I still can't believe I'm going to have my very first Christmas with snow!"
"Tell me more about your life in California, more about your life with your mom."
She'd finally opened up to someone, finally shared a small piece of her past, and now she found herself wanting to share it all. But if he knew the truth, the full truth, wouldn't that frighten him away? Even with that thought she couldn't seem to stop herself from speaking. Now that he'd opened the floodgates to her past, the words came rushing out.
"You know that it was just me and my mother and that she worked a lot. So, from the time I was little, I was on my own most of the time. That's why I loved school, because then I was with other people."
"Was it miserable?" Hawk stopped and leaned against a large tree, pulling her into the cradle of his arms as he rubbed his hands up and down her back.
"No. The thing was that even th
ough we didn't have a whole heck of a lot, I wasn't unhappy. I loved my mom, even during the bad times. I loved what little time we got to spend together. I didn't need to have the newest pair of jeans, or to go to summer camp. When she died, I was devastated. It took me a lot of years before I felt like I could live again. She did the best she could. . . ."
"You impress me, Natalie."
"Why?"
"Because you don't dwell on the bad memories. You even manage to find a way to turn the tough times into positive experiences. You humble me with your attitude."
"I'm not that noble, Hawk," she said with an uncomfortable laugh.
"We'll have to just agree to disagree," he said before giving her a kiss that melted the snow that was covering them.
chapter 16
I love my family, but they're a bit overwhelming," Hawk said later that night as he and Natalie strolled outside, hand in hand.
"Yes, but I honestly enjoy spending time with them. I think your mother and I baked at least five hundred Christmas cookies today," Natalie said with a laugh as they approached a large red barn.
"Want to see something really cool?"
"Always."
He opened the barn door and they stepped inside. She didn't see him turn around and engage the latch.
"Over here," he said, and he led her through the ginormous building.
They entered a large room behind another door, and before her was an old cherry-red fire truck.
"It's seventy years old and my dad and I spent ten summers bringing her back into mint condition. I love this engine." He couldn't contain his excitement when he ran his hand along the shiny bumper. That small gesture had her stomach clenching as she thought back to the other fire engine and the first night they'd made love.
It had been several days since they'd last been intimate, and now that her body knew how incredible sex between them was, she didn't want to miss out on the feel of his hands and his . . . never mind . . . for even a single second more.
Without much sound, Hawk was suddenly behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and tugging her close. "Want to see where I had my first kiss?"
Natalie tensed at the thought of Hawk ever kissing anyone else.
"Hawk!" she snapped, no longer wanting to play as she had ten seconds before.