and the skies will burn black with crows and your cries,

  as you answer for centuries of

  unbearable indignity and bullshit.

  you will be dealt with

  we know you now

  we’ve known you forever;

  the might of the timorous

  flies forth like a tremendous and ever beautiful swan,

  no shit, friend,

  look up look up look up look up

  the jolly damned man with the hoe

  is now flying over Milwaukee

  grinning

  more lovely than the sun

  more graceful than all the ugly wounds

  more real than you

  or I or anything.

  (uncollected)

  the beautiful lady

  we are gathered here now

  to bury her in this

  poem.

  she did not marry an unemployed wino who

  beat her every

  night.

  her several children will never wear

  snot-stained shirts

  or torn dresses.

  the beautiful lady

  simply

  calmly

  died.

  and may the clean dirt of this poem

  bury

  her.

  her and her womb

  and her jewels

  and her combs and her

  poems

  and her pale blue eyes

  and her

  grinning

  rich

  frightened

  husband.

  my life as a sitcom

  stepped into the wrong end of the Jacuzzi and twisted my

  right leg which was bad to begin with, then that night got drunk

  with a tv writer and an actor, something about using my

  life to make a sitcom and luckily that fell through and the next

  day at the track I get a box seat in the dining area, get a

  menu and a glass of water, my leg is really paining me, I

  can barely walk to the betting window and back, then

  about the 3rd race the waiter rushes by, asks, “can I

  borrow your menu?” but he doesn’t wait for an answer,

  he just grabs it and runs off.

  a couple of races go by, I fight through my pain and continue to

  make my bets, get back, sit down just as the waiter rushes by again.

  he grabs all my silverware and my napkin and runs off.

  “HEY!” I yell but he’s gone.

  all around me people are eating, drinking and laughing.

  I check my watch after the 6th race and it is 4:30 p.m.

  I haven’t been served yet and I’m 72 years old with

  a hangover and a leg from hell.

  I pull myself to my feet by the edge of the table and manage

  to hobble about looking for the maitre d’. I see him down

  a far aisle and wave him in.

  “can I speak to you?” I ask.

  “certainly, sir!”

  “look, it’s the 7th race, they took my menu and my silverware

  and I haven’t been served yet.”

  “we’ll take care of it right away, sir!”

  well, the 7th race went, the 8th race went, and

  still no ser vice.

  I purchase my ticket for the 9th race and take the

  escalator down.

  on the first floor, I purchase a sandwich.

  I eat it going down another escalator to the parking lot.

  the valet laughs as I slowly work my leg into the

  car, making a face of pain as I do so.

  “got a gimpy leg there, huh, Hank?” he asks.

  I pull out, make it to the boulevard and onto the

  freeway which immediately begins to slow down because

  of a 3-car crash ahead.

  I snap on the radio in time to find that my horse

  has run out in the 9th.

  a flash of pain shoots up my right leg.

  I decide to tell my wife about my

  misfortunes at the track

  even though I know she will respond

  by telling me that everything as always

  was completely my fault

  but when a man is in pain he can’t think right,

  he only asks for

  more.

  and

  gets it.

  who needs it?

  see this poem?

  it was

  written without drinking.

  I don’t need to drink

  to write.

  I can write without

  drinking.

  my wife says I can.

  I say that maybe I can.

  I’m not drinking

  and I’m writing.

  see this poem?

  it was

  written without drinking.

  who needs a drink now?

  probably the reader.

  riots

  I’ve watched this city burn twice

  in my lifetime

  and the most notable event

  was the reaction of the

  politicians in the

  aftermath

  as they

  proclaimed the injustice of

  the system

  and demanded a new

  deal for the hapless and the

  poor.

  nothing was corrected last

  time.

  nothing will be changed this

  time.

  the poor will remain poor.

  the unemployed will remain

  so.

  the homeless will remain

  homeless

  and the politicians,

  fat upon the land, will thrive

  forever.

  those marvelous lunches

  when I was in grammar school

  my parents were

  poor

  and in my lunch bag there was

  only a peanut butter sandwich.

  Richardson didn’t have a

  lunch bag,

  he had a lunch pail with

  compartments, a

  thermos full of

  chocolate milk.

  he had ham sandwiches,

  sliced beef sandwiches,

  apples, bananas, a

  pickle and a large bag of

  potato chips.

  I sat next to Richardson

  as we ate.

  his potato chips looked

  so good—

  large and crisp as the

  sun blazed upon

  them.

  “you want some potato

  chips?” he would

  ask.

  and each day

  I would eat some.

  as I went to school each

  day

  my thoughts

  were on Richardson’s

  lunch, and especially

  those chips.

  each morning as we

  studied in class

  I thought about

  lunchtime.

  and sitting next to

  Richardson.

  Richardson was the

  sissy and the other

  boys looked down

  on me

  for eating with

  him

  but I

  didn’t care.

  it was the potato

  chips, I couldn’t

  help myself.

  “you want some

  potato chips, Henry?”

  he would

  ask.

  “yes.”

  the other boys got

  after me

  when Richardson

  wasn’t

  around.

  “hey, who’s your

  sissy friend?

  you one

  too?”

  I didn’t like that

  but the potato

  chips were more

  impo
rtant.

  after a while

  nobody spoke to

  me.

  sometimes I ate

  one of Richardson’s

  apples

  or I got half a

  pickle.

  I was always

  hungry.

  Richardson was

  fat,

  he had a big

  belly

  and fleshy

  thighs.

  he was the only

  friend I had in

  grammar

  school.

  we seldom spoke

  to each

  other.

  we just sat

  together at

  lunchtime.

  I walked home with

  him after school

  and often some of

  the boys would

  follow us.

  they

  would gather around

  Richardson,

  gang up on him,

  push him around,

  knock him

  down

  again and

  again.

  after they were

  finished

  I would go

  pick up his lunch

  pail,

  which was

  spilled on its

  side

  with the lid

  open.

  I would place the

  thermos back

  inside,

  close the

  lid.

  then I would

  carry the pail as

  I walked Richardson

  back to his

  house.

  we never spoke.

  as we got to his door

  I would hand him

  the lunch

  pail.

  then the door would

  close and he would

  be gone.

  I was the only friend

  he had.

  sissies live a hard

  life.

  The Look:

  I once bought a toy rabbit

  at a department store

  and now he sits and ponders

  me with pink sheer eyes:

  He wants golf balls and glass

  walls.

  I want quiet thunder.

  Our disappointment sits between us.

  the big one

  he buys 5 cars a month, details them, waxes and buffs

  them out, then

  resells them at a profit of one or two grand.

  he has a nice Jewish wife and he tells me that he

  bangs her until the walls shake.

  he wears a red cap, squints in the light, has a regular

  job besides the car gig.

  I have no idea of what he is trying to accomplish and maybe he

  doesn’t either.

  he’s a nicer fellow than most, always good to see him,

  we laugh, say a few bright lines.

  but

  each time

  after I see him

  I get the blues for him, for me, for all of us:

  for want of something to do

  we keep slaying our small dragons

  as the big one waits.

  the genius

  this man sometimes forgets who

  he is.

  sometimes he thinks he’s the

  Pope.

  other times he thinks he’s a

  hunted rabbit

  and hides under the

  bed.

  then

  all at once

  he’ll recapture total

  clarity

  and begin creating

  works of

  art.

  then he’ll be all right

  for some

  time.

  then, say,

  he’ll be sitting with his

  wife

  and 3 or 4 other

  people

  discussing various

  matters

  he will be charming,

  incisive,

  original.

  then he’ll do

  something

  strange.

  like once

  he stood up

  unzipped

  and began

  pissing

  on the

  rug.

  another time

  he ate a paper

  napkin.

  and there was

  the time

  he got into his

  car

  and drove it

  backwards

  all the way to

  the

  grocery store

  and back

  again

  backwards

  the other motorists

  screaming at

  him

  but he

  made it

  there and

  back

  without

  incident

  and without

  being

  stopped

  by a patrol

  car.

  but he’s best

  as the

  Pope

  and his

  Latin

  is very

  good.

  his works of

  art

  aren’t that

  exceptional

  but they allow him

  to

  survive

  and to live with

  a series of

  19-year-old

  wives

  who

  cut his hair

  his toenails

  bib

  tuck and

  feed

  him.

  he wears everybody

  out

  but

  himself.

  about the PEN conference

  take a writer away from his typewriter

  and all you have left

  is

  the sickness

  which started him

  typing

  in the

  beginning.

  what a man I was

  I shot off his left ear

  then his right,

  and then tore off his belt buckle

  with hot lead,

  and then

  I shot off everything that counts

  and when he bent over

  to pick up his drawers

  and his marbles

  (poor critter)

  I fixed it so he wouldn’t have

  to straighten up

  no more.

  Ho Hum.

  I went in for a fast snort

  and one guy seemed

  to be looking at me sideways,

  and that’s how he died—

  sideways,

  lookin’ at me

  and clutchin’

  for his marbles.

  Sight o’ blood made me kinda

  hungry.

  Had a ham sandwich.

  Played a couple of sentimental songs…

  Shot out all the lights

  and strolled outside.

  Didn’t seem to be no one around

  so I shot my horse

  (poor critter).

  Then I saw the Sheerf

  a standin’ at the end a’ the road

  and he was shakin’

  like he had the Saint Vitus’ dance;

  it was a real sorrowful sight

  so I slowed him to a quiver

  with the first slug

  and mercifully stiffened him

  with the second.

  Then I laid on my back awhile

  and I shot out the stars one by one

  and then

  I shot out the moon

  and then I walked around

  and shot out every light

  in town,

  and pretty soon it began to get dark

  real dark

  the way I like it;

  just can’t stand to sleep


  with no light shinin’

  on my face.

  I laid down and dreamt

  I was a little boy again

  a playin’ with my toy six-shooter

  and winnin’ all the marble games,

  and when I woke up

  my guns was gone

  and I was all bound hand and foot

  just like somebody

  was scared a me

  and they was slippin’

  a noose around my ugly neck

  just as if they

  meant to hang me,

  and some guy was pinnin’

  a real pretty sign

  on my shirt:

  there’s a law for you

  and a law for me

  and a law that hangs

  from the foot of a tree.

  Well, pretty poetry always did

  make my eyes water

  and can you believe it