Wow, he was really worked up. “Jason, I’m sure we’re safe up here right now. Yes, we need to leave but I think it’s going to be okay.”
I walked up behind him, placing my hand on his back.
He whirled around. “It’s not going to be okay. You went down there without me. What if they had come up from the ground and you’d been alone? How can I protect you if you do that?”
“I don’t need you to protect me. I need your support and I need to work with you, but I don’t need you to fight off the monsters. I can defend myself as well as anyone can, I think.”
“No.” He shook his head. “We can’t do this now. We can’t. We have to get out of here and it’s still snowing.”
He shoved the harness at me, and I took a step back. “What are we supposed to do in the snow, Jason?”
Before I knew what was happening, he took off his coat. “Put this on. Bundle yourself up in this, in your own jacket, in all the sweaters the girls gave you. Whatever. I’m going to shift and then put the harness on me. We’re going to run.”
“In the snow?”
“Yep.”
“You’re not thinking clearly. They haven’t come upstairs. Maybe they won’t. Maybe they can’t. We really don’t know anything. We have to stop and figure this out.”
He grabbed my arms and pulled me against him. “You’re not a wolf, but I have to believe I can make you understand this. Right now, there is a war going on inside of me. A very large part of me wants to be really, really dumb and shift into my wolf body and go, I don’t know, dig down and kill all those Vampires all by myself. Do I know that is dumb? Yes, I do.”
“I’m glad to see you have some sense left.”
“Very little.” He squeezed my shoulders. “The other part of me, equally as dominant, needs to protect you more than I’ve ever needed to do anything before. You’re mine, whether you’re willing to admit it now or not. I have to get you out of here. Miles from here, or I will do something drastic.”
I swallowed this information. Why did things have to be so complicated? Wasn’t our life already complicated? Now I had to deal with wolf instincts and warring natures?
“What does your human part say? Doesn’t he—you—have any opinion?”
“My head is so filled with my wolf, I can’t hear myself think. Please, do this for me. Don’t make me fight you on it.”
That sounded like a challenge to me. “Or what?”
“Or I’m going to lose my mind.”
I could continue to press this issue with him. I knew it was important that he respect my opinion. None of this was going to work if I always had to bend to his will. I bit down on my lip. This, however, might not be the time to fight him. Maybe it was important to start slow, like making him let me pick the dinner we ate or something.
Plus, I really wasn’t big on playing power games. If he needed me to do this, well, then I guess I was going to have to try not to freeze to death.
“Okay. Do your shifting thing.”
He touched the side of my face. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m keeping you and that means getting you away from here.”
He pressed his lips to mine, and my breath caught in my throat. I shivered, but not from the cold. It was like heat had infused my body brought on by his kiss alone. I closed my eyes to enjoy it. Seconds passed, and he pulled back.
“Any more of that I’m going to be fighting a third battle in my head that I don’t want to face right now.”
What? “I don’t understand.”
“Never mind.” He smiled. “Wear my coat, too.”
“I’m going to look like I’ve doubled in size.”
“When we catch up to the pack, I’ll undress you.”
I held up my hands. “You will not.”
Even though the idea was kind of exciting. That would cross all kinds of lines I wasn’t ready for. Sheesh, did everyone have this problem at sixteen or was it just happening to me? My body wanted one thing, my head another. And Jason thought he was at war with himself…
“I had to try.”
Sure he did…
I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed.
“After I shift, put the harness on me and then get in it. I’m going to move very fast to get through this snow. Hold on tight, okay? I might give the wolf lots of leeway because he’ll get us through this better than I will.”
I shrugged. “Okay. I’ll believe you. Your wolf likes me. I’m not concerned.”
“He loves you, Rachel. There’s a difference. He would leap through fire for you.”
I might never understand what it meant to live with an animal inside of me that was part of me and yet wasn’t, but I was sure it couldn’t be easy. Again, I was amazed by the fact that Jason could stay so positive through all of this. He closed his eyes and as I watched, his body reshaped itself.
I’ll admit it, I took two steps back. I knew the wolf was Jason but watching Jason become the wolf was an entirely different experience then simply intellectually understanding it. His bones cracked, his face disappeared under the fur. Eventually, the only things I had left to see that was still Jason were his blue eyes. His frightening blue eyes. They really were when he looked like this.
As a Werewolf, Jason was twice the size of a regular wolf. I knew this because I had studied the difference between Werewolves and regular wolves in school, having never seen a wolf in person. The first time he’d killed the Vampire, it had been too fast for me to focus on how big he was. Now, I’ll admit it, he intimidated the heck out of me. If he went nuts—and I didn’t have any weapon on me that could take him down—I was dead, plain and simple. I was dinner.
Jason moved forward and in two strides knocked me playfully with the top of his head. He grunted, his tale moving back and forth, until I scratched him on his head between his ears. That made his tail move even faster and before long, instead of being scared of him, I was laughing.
His eyes were playful as he licked my hand. Really, we could have continued on like that all day, fooling around like that, but he seemed to remember what it was we were supposed to be doing. As I turned around, he stood still and it took me a second to remember what it was I was supposed to be doing.
Oh, that was right, I had to attach the harness to his back and then get myself into it. I moved toward him and looked at the device. This had been simpler when he’d been a human standing upright. After several attempts that didn’t work, I did manage to get it onto him and then get myself in it.
I felt really, really odd and not at all comfortable. I’d seen movies where people rode horses. This wasn’t anything like that. I was twisted in such a way that greatly restricted my movements and the best I could do was put my head down on him and hold on with both hands for dear life.
When Jason had said we were going to move fast, he hadn’t been kidding. As a human, he’d moved at a good pace. As a wolf, he was blindingly fast. Or maybe it was the snow. It was nighttime, and I hadn’t thought to stick my glasses on my face. But the white snow played havoc with my corneas.
I tried to pull the dark shades out of my pocket and it proved tricky, but after a few minutes of nearly going blind, I managed. Finally, I pushed them onto my face and was able to look at the snow without wanting to cringe. It was so…white.
I’d never understood what white looked like before. Oh sure, I’d seen it, but I’d never really seen it. I thought white was the absence of color, like a blank page of paper with nothing on it. Not out here. The huge snowflakes falling all over everything; they were so bright, it was like color had been created for their existence alone.
I laughed at myself. Wow, I was picking up some of Jason’s poetic tendencies. Maybe it was the fresh air. Maybe you had to spend a certain amount of time outside to have these crazy thoughts.
I enjoyed the novelty of both the thoughts and the snow for a few minutes. Also, I had to admit, Jason had been right. We had needed to get away from the Vampires. Unless they were un
der us here, too. How were they living as they were? Why were they underground?
I rubbed at my face as the snow started to be less amusing and more, well, cold. I didn’t have gloves, and the facemask Frank had given me when I’d first arrived Upwards had gone the way of the Vampire, so to state I was freezing would be an understatement. I pushed my head down as I tried to snuggle into Jason’s fur. It worked, a little bit. One thing was for certain, I was going to be cold until we caught up with the pack.
To amuse myself, I tried to imagine hot drinks and laughing with Jason’s sisters about the craziness of my day. Then when that fantasy ran out of liveliness, I hummed to myself. Not caring if Jason made fun of me for it later. I managed to cover my hands with the ends of Jason’s jacket for warmth.
I think hours passed that way. I couldn’t keep track of time, not with the snow flowing everywhere.
The snow covered the glasses to the point that whiteness was all I could see. Sleep threatened to overtake me even though I didn’t want to sleep.
At one point, I wondered if Jason knew what was happening to me. He sped up significantly. My head felt muddled. Things were less and less clear. Trees looked far away, and I wasn’t sure I could use my mouth if I had to.
In the distance, I thought I heard wolves howling.
Why would there be wolves howling?
My next coherent thought came when we busted through the tent door into Andon’s house. His father waited for us, a large blanket in his hand. In two swift movements, he had me out of the harness and into his arms.
He was talking to me but it all sounded like gibberish over the shaking of my teeth. Tap, tap, tap, tap. I couldn’t even feel my jaw do it anymore.
“How long…?”
I made out two words but not the whole conversation. That was fine. I’d kept my eyes open the whole time we’d been out there. I was just going to close them now…
But then I was being moved into another room and Luna was there. Someone else, too. Autumn? It was amazing. They were identical but I could tell them apart perfectly. Luna just had more of a fighting essence around her.
That was nice; I was going to close my eyes.
Except that Luna was tugging my clothes off my body. God, no. I did not want to be naked in front of them. I opened my mouth to speak and only more chattering came out. They undressed me in record time. Was this some kind of wolf ritual? Was I being prepared for some kind of sacrifice?
New clothes were forced over my head and legs, followed immediately by a large wool blanket.
Luna called out into the hall. “Come in.”
Who was she talking to? Andon walked in, followed by Jason. In two seconds, Jason was next to me on the bed. He still wore the clothes he’d had on in the house. They must shift with him. There was so much magic to what they did. I would never understand it and never really trust it even as I trusted them.
“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.”
I should have been embarrassed. He was talking to me like that in front of his family, but he felt warm and I liked seeing him out of his fur. It had been lonely out there in all of that white mess. I’d wanted to see snow. Well, I’d seen it. More than enough of it to last me a lifetime.
I could close my eyes now.
“No,” Andon’s commanding voice had me opening my lids, “no sleeping until you drink this.”
A hot drink was pressed to my lips, and even though I spilled most of it right out of my mouth, thanks to the chattering teeth problem, I did get some of it down. I didn’t even care what it was. All I tasted was hot, and for now that was heaven.
Andon’s voice sounded gruff. “What were you thinking dragging her through the snow like that? When you didn’t catch up hours ago, we assumed you’d found shelter. I was thrilled.”
Jason spoke matter-of-factly. “There were thousands of Vampires beneath the house.”
I expected to see a reaction from his father, but Andon’s face remained impassive. “I see.”
There was something not right here. I see? That was all he had to say? Autumn made me drink some more, and I tried to smile at her to thank her. My teeth chattering was slowing down, and Luna started to dry off my hair with a towel.
Jason rubbed my leg. “What are you thinking about?”
He wanted me to speak. “I…uh…I was wondering why I couldn’t have lived in a habitat beneath a warmer climate?”
Jason laughed and pulled me even closer against him. “See, she’s going to be fine. If she can crack jokes, she’s going to be fine.”
“Who said I was kidding?”
Andon rolled his eyes. “Looks like you two got cozy.”
Jason growled. “Don’t you make accusations like that.”
“What accusations? All I said was a statement of fact. You two clearly got cozy. She’s letting you handle her a great deal more than she did yesterday.”
Oh no, this was a nightmare. My boyfriend’s father was making sexual innuendos.
“We didn’t do anything.” It was amazing how well my voice worked this time.
“Even if we did, it’s not his business.” Jason obviously had a point to make that was beyond the truth. I wanted nothing to do with it. Nothing. I just wanted the sexual innuendos to cease before I died of the embarrassment.
His father growled back. “It is my business. This young lady doesn’t have anyone to protect her.”
Jason shot to his feet. “She has me.”
“You are who she needs to be protected from.”
This had to stop. I didn’t want them fighting, especially not about me. I hated watching families fight. When the Lyons did it, I wanted to crawl under my covers and hide from the world.
“I don’t need to be protected. I can take care of myself. I told Jason, no sex. I mean it. He respects it. End of story.” I took a deep breath. “Please don’t fight.”
Andon looked at Jason, a raised eyebrow. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.”
Suddenly, I was dizzy. The room spun wildly, and Jason grabbed me.
“Come sit, baby. I’ve got you.”
I did as he said. Clearly, I was in no position to argue.
Still, there was something I needed to have ceased immediately. “Stop calling me baby in front of your family. It makes me uncomfortable.”
Jason kissed my head. “What was that you were saying, Dad, about my handling her better?”
Luna and Autumn cracked up. Wow, I could just die right now.
Chapter Fourteen
Jason and his father argued for ten minutes about whether or not Jason could sleep in the same room with me. Andon now believed that I was recovered, and he’d apparently had some kind of parental awakening in terms of what was and wasn’t appropriate. It wasn’t okay for us to be that ‘intimate’—his word, not mine—together. Jason called it all nonsense. We’d been alone together a lot, and I’d laid down the ‘no sex’ rule.
Ultimately, it was Andon’s tent and his pack. Jason stormed from his room in the tent without as much as a goodbye kiss in my direction. What was true love when you were pissed at your dad, I suppose?
I told myself I really didn’t care. I lay in the darkness under the covers piled on top of me and listened to the silence outside. What is up with Andon’s reaction? He wasn’t even surprised that the Vampires had been under the house.
That was weird. The question was whether I wanted to pursue the matter or leave it alone as one of those mysteries I could obsess over.
The door to the room quietly opened. I would have laughed aloud if it wouldn’t have spoiled the ‘sneaking’ aspect of what wolf-boy was doing at that moment.
“I don’t want my sisters to hear, but they’re snoring away and Dad left the tent to go to some kind of grown up pack meeting. We’re safe.”
“What would you have done if I’d been asleep?”
“Crawled into your bed, pulled you next to me, and had good dreams?”
As if he liked that idea, he kicked o
ff his shoes and climbed into the bed.
“So you could snore in my ears all night?”
He pulled the covers over both of us. “Do I?”
“Snore? Yes. A little bit.”
He scrunched up his nose. “Really?”
“Yes.” I pinched his nose. “But you also breathe really beautifully and I like the noise, at least I did for the brief time we both slept earlier.”
“Before you took off to find the Vampires.”
His anger over the event sounded like it was back in full force. He was even holding his breath. Not a good sign. I really didn’t want to fight.
I’d done what I’d done. In fact, I’d do it again if I had to. His being angry about it didn’t change anything, so he might as well get over it.
I rolled over until my chin rested on his chest. “I almost died out there. I really don’t have the energy for a rip-roaring argument you’re not going to win.”
He ran his hand over the side of my cheek, touching the Vampire wound with his thumb. “Okay.”
“Really?”
“You gave in to me when I wanted to take you out in the snow, I can give in on this, even if I don’t like it.”
“Especially because I’m going to have to hear you snore all night.”
He was quiet. Where was the laughter? I’d been making a joke, a bad joke, but a joke in any case.
“Do you want me to go back to the other room?”
I squeezed him tighter. “No, I won’t make any more snoring remarks.”
“Just elbow me or something.”
I nodded. “I will.”
He was warm and safe. I’ll admit it. I’d gotten used to him and…maybe something else, too. Maybe it had happened when he’d run through the snow to keep me safe or maybe it had happened with the stupid way he called me baby…or maybe it had happened earlier, and I had not wanted to admit it. I’m not sure. But it happened. That was all that was important.
“I have to tell you something.”
“Hmm?” His hand played absentmindedly with my hair.
“I love you, too.”
I’d never said it before, I realized. I’d felt it, for Tia, for her family but no one—not even to my father—had ever heard those words from me. It felt like I’d said a prayer aloud. My hands shook on his chest, and I didn’t try to stop them.