“Even Robert?”
“At times.” Gavin grinned. “For the first year he was ready to slash Jock’s gullet for bringing her here, but after that they became more comfortable with each other.”
“Does she have children?”
Gavin shook his head. “She’s free to devote all her attention to the castle.”
Kate wasn’t sure she liked the idea of Deirdre’s devoted attention. She had hoped to absorb Craighdhu at her own pace, but it appeared Deirdre was a major force here, and her pace was anything but slow.
“You’ll become accustomed to her,” Gavin assured her. “She’s a bit rough, but she means no disrespect. Here in the Highlands servants consider themselves part of the family.”
It was not disrespect about which Kate was concerned. Her gaze went back to the windows; Deirdre had not given her time enough to study them. “I’ve never seen stained-glass windows with anything but religious figures.”
“There are windows like that all over the castle. The stained glass was added by Robert’s grandfather when he wed. His bride complained how depressing the castle was, and so he brought artists and glassmakers from France to replace the windows. This castle was built to resist siege, and there was little he could do to make it less grim, but he thought the glass would help.” Gavin made a face. “Robert’s mother found them just as heathen as she did the rest of us.”
“Then she’s a fool. Nothing that beautiful could be sinful.”
“I’ve always thought that too.” Gavin’s gaze followed her own to the window. “When I was a boy, I used to stare at those windows until I was well-nigh dazzled by them. I’d pretend I was that warrior with his mighty muscles and his grand sword.…” He shook his head. “That might be one of the reasons why I wanted to follow Robert when he went to raid the Spanish. I still saw myself as that warrior. I found out soon enough I didn’t have the stomach for it.”
“You should not regret finding that out. You’re fine the way you are.”
He nodded. “I think, when Robert has no more need for me as a henchman, I might become a bard.”
“A bard?”
“Aye. A laird usually has a storyteller to tell the tales of the past and present of the clan.”
“Aren’t such tales usually written down?”
Gavin flinched. “You have no soul. There’s no comparison between hearing a great storyteller weave his tales and reading dry parchment.”
“I’m sorry,” she said solemnly, trying to hide a smile. “I have no experience with bards.”
“That’s very clear. I’ll forgive your ignorance since you’re a stranger here.” He smiled eagerly. “I’ll even entertain you. Robert is sure to be busy with Jock for a while anyway.”
“You’re going to tell me a tale?”
“Oh, no, you should be welcomed to Craighdhu in a more splendid fashion.” He started to turn away. “I’ll go fetch my pipes.”
“I’ve never heard the bagpipes played before,” she said cautiously. “Will I enjoy it?”
“Oh, it’s a fine, winsome instrument,” he answered, beaming. “You’ll like it. Trust me.”
“Cease.” She covered her hands with her ears. “I can bear no more.”
Gavin didn’t hear her. It was not surprising with that beastly caterwauling erupting from the bags of the instrument he was blowing with such blissful enthusiasm.
She strode forward and jerked the mouthpiece from between his lips. “No, Gavin.”
He looked hurt. “But you’ve not given it a chance, Kate.”
“I’ve listened for over an hour. It’s all the chance that instrument of torture will get from me.”
He lowered the bagpipes to the chair beside him. “I guess a woman is too gentle-natured to be stirred by the pipes. But I admit to being sorely disappointed in you.”
She felt a flicker of remorse. “Perhaps you’re right. I’m sure you played very well.”
“He played abominably.” Robert stood in the doorway. “We never let Gavin pipe when we’re going into battle. The troops would exhaust themselves trying to kill him instead of the enemy.”
“You malign me,” Gavin protested, then changed the subject. “What news from Jock?”
“We leave for Ireland at nightfall.”
Gavin pursed his lips in a low whistle. “We just got here. That bad?”
“Worse,” he said grimly. “Nine months ago Malcolm appeared at the port near Kilgranne with a ship built especially for cargo. For the past six months he and his men have been going from town to town on the coast trying to frighten the merchants and craftsmen into dealing with him instead of Craighdhu.”
“Why didn’t Jock take care of it?”
“He would have done so, but he thought reassurance should come from the head of the clan. Me.” His lips twisted. “He had no idea Elizabeth would take it into her head to delay my arrival.”
“So you must visit the merchants and council members and assure them they needn’t fear Malcolm if they continue to deal with us?”
“With all due speed. Malcolm’s agent and a troop of men are in Ireland right now. See who you wish to greet and then meet me at the ship in two hours.”
Gavin shook his head.
Robert stiffened. “No?”
“I’ve been away too long. I don’t wish to go on another voyage.”
“We’ll be gone no more than four weeks.”
“Take Jock. You know you should have taken him last time.”
“I want you.”
“Take Jock,” Gavin repeated. “Kate needs me here to protect her and tell her the things she must know about Craighdhu.” He added lightly, “Perhaps, given time, I can even teach her appreciation for my bagpipes.”
“Perhaps I should be the one to go to Ireland,” Kate murmured dryly.
Robert met Gavin’s gaze. “I could order you to come.”
“Don’t do that, Robert,” Gavin said gently. “It would grieve me to disobey you.”
Robert stood looking at him for a moment. “Damn you. You’d better be here when I get back.” He turned on his heel. “Come with me to the courtyard, Kate.”
She followed him from the chamber and down the winding stone steps. “Four weeks?”
“Do you wish it were more?” he asked caustically. “Ireland is no great distance from Craighdhu, and with good winds I’ll be back in your eager arms in no time.” He jerked open the heavy brass-studded front door. “So be prepared to give me a warm welcome to your bed.”
She shook her head. “I will be glad to see you return safely, but that part of our lives is over.”
“Oh, is it?” He turned on her, the suppressed frustration and anger suddenly unleashed. “It’s not over until I say it’s over. I’ve given up too much not to reap some benefits from this damn alliance.”
“You’ve given up nothing,” she said fiercely. “You have your life and your Craighdhu, and this danger you claim I bring is not even real. Go to Ireland, but don’t expect me to give you anything but a smile when you return. Perhaps not even that if you continue to be such an arrogant, stupid coxcomb of a—” She whirled and slammed the door. She marched across the foyer and up the stairs, fighting back the tears that stung her eyes. She should be relieved he was leaving and she’d be spared the battle she had dreaded. By the time he returned, she should know whether or not she was with child and might have even a stronger argument to hold him at bay.
Dear God, she did not want to hold him at bay. She did not want him to go to Ireland, where danger might be lying in wait. She wanted to welcome him to her bed and her heart. She wanted to live in Craighdhu and have his children. She wanted the life she was denied.
“Kate?” Gavin was coming down the stairs toward her.
She quickly wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. “He’s gone.”
“Jock will take care of him,” he said.
“Yes.” She swallowed. She was foolish to cry over something she could not have. She must just enjoy
what she was given. She smiled tremulously. “I must go to the stable to see that Caird and Rachel are properly cared for, but then will you keep your promise?”
His eyes glinted with mischief. “To teach you to love the bagpipes?”
She flinched. “Heaven forbid. No, to teach me what I should know of Craighdhu.”
“What do you wish to learn?”
“Everything.” Her smile had a touch of feverish recklessness. “I want to know how to be mistress of this great heap of stone. I want to meet the people. I want to walk the streets and talk to the craftsmen. I want to be part of all this.”
“You’ll expend a great deal of effort for a short return. Wouldn’t it be better simply to try to live on the surface for the next year?”
She knew the suggestion was wise, but there was no question of her taking it. These months might be all she would have. “I can’t do that,” she whispered.
He nodded sadly. “I can see that.” He turned to leave. “Give me a short time to refresh myself, and I’ll meet you in the courtyard.”
“Where are you going?” Deirdre asked as she suddenly appeared around the corner of the stairwell.
Gavin grinned. “I’m going to show Kate a bit of the village before dark. As is natural, she has a curiosity regarding her new home.”
“Very natural,” Deirdre said. “But you’re going about it wrong. You must see and learn everything regarding the castle before going to the village.” She frowned. “Gavin really knows nothing of the running of this castle. I shall have to be the one to teach you. By the time Robert returns, you shall be well on the way to being a proper mistress of Craighdhu.” She turned to Gavin. “Run along now. I must introduce her to Tim MacDougal, Robert’s agent, and then we will tour the castle.” She didn’t wait for Gavin to obey as she beckoned imperiously to Kate. “If we set about immediately, we shall accomplish much before supper. Afterward you will inspect the servants’ quarters and meet with the …” Her words became inaudible as she turned a corner.
“I didn’t want her to show me the castle,” Kate whispered to Gavin. “I wanted you to—”
“No one knows it better,” Gavin said uneasily. “Perhaps she’s right. It’s best you start out on the right foot.”
“But not at a dead run. I’d like to go to the village and meet—”
“Ah, there you are.” Deirdre had returned and was standing at the end of the hall. “We will never accomplish anything if we dally like this.”
Kate instinctively responded to the sternness in the housekeeper’s tone and started down the hall. After all, she did want to see every inch of the castle, she told herself. Her journey to the village could wait for a little while.
“I’ll come to take you to the village tomorrow morning, Kate,” Gavin called after her.
“We shall be much too busy tomorrow,” Deirdre answered for Kate as she started down the hall again. “Perhaps in a week.”
“A week?” Kate shook her head. “Tomorrow, Gavin.”
Gavin gave Deirdre’s retreating back a nervous look. “We can try.”
God’s Blood, he didn’t want to leave.
Robert’s hands closed tightly on the wooden rail, his gaze on the stone battlements of the castle as the ship drew away from the shore. Since that moment in the cell when he had confronted Elizabeth, events seemed to conspire to leave him with this feeling of helplessness and frustration. Even as a boy in Santanella, he had never been thrown into such emotional turmoil.
“I could have gone alone,” Jock said quietly.
Robert unclenched his hands from the rail and turned to look at him. “No, you’re right. It’s best I go.”
“I’m glad you agree,” he said. “If you hadn’t, I’d have been tempted to knock some sense into you. She has a fine, lovely look about her, but Craighdhu is more important than fornication.”
“You don’t have to tell me that.”
“She seemed a quiet enough lass when I met her at the dock.” Jock’s lips quirked with amusement. “However, I understand she was less than docile when she bade you good-bye.”
Robert should have known Jock would learn about Kate’s outburst. Everyone at the castle still gave Jock unlimited loyalty, and nothing happened on Craighdhu without his hearing about it. “Quiet is not how I would describe Kate.”
“Good. We had too much silence when your mother was here.” Jock glanced back at the castle. “Why did you wed her? Did she have something Craighdhu needed?”
How well Jock knew him. “No.”
“Then why?”
“I’ll tell you at some later time.” He smiled ruefully. “At the moment I have no intention of giving you cause to tell me what a fool I am.”
Jock’s eyes widened in surprise. “You care about the girl?”
“I did not say that,” Robert said quickly.
“You do not have to.” Jock’s words came as blunt and sharp as hammer blows. “You stare at her as if you would like to devour her, but I thought it only lust. It seems I was—”
“It is lust,” Robert interrupted.
“Then your problem is easily solved. You can slake it with one of those comely lasses you found so willing the last time you visited Ireland.”
He did not want to bed one of Jock’s Irish lasses, comely or not. He wanted Kate, dammit.
Jock shook his head, his eyes narrowed on Robert’s face, reading every change of expression. “No? Then it may be worse than I thought. I remember the day your father brought your mother to Craighdhu. He had the same besotted, puppy-dog look you do now.”
“I’m not besotted. Leave it, Jock.” He turned away. “I’ll talk no more of this. Tell me which merchants we will have the most trouble convincing.”
“Very well, we’ll not talk of it.” Jock paused and then said softly, “But I should give you warning. I’ll not fail again.”
“Fail?” Robert smiled. “You never fail at anything, Jock.”
“I failed once. When I let them take you to Spain. After your father died, my duty was to you. I should have kept you here.”
The words came as a shock. Jock had never spoken of that night since he had returned to Craighdhu. “I’ve never blamed you. She was my mother and Don Diego my uncle. There was nothing you could do.”
“I could have stopped her.” Jock shifted to meet his glance with glacier coldness. “As I would stop her now. With a dagger in her heart.”
“A woman?”
“A woman or a man, it makes no difference.” Jock smiled mockingly. “No, a woman is worse. You think they are no threat with their beauty and softness and let them curl close to your breast, under your armor.” He shrugged. “You have no defense when they sting you.”
“Kate has no intention of stinging me.”
“That is good. For I’ll not let another woman hurt either Craighdhu or you again.” Before Robert could reply, Jock changed the subject and answered Robert’s question regarding the situation in Ireland. “Shaughnessy is the most frightened. He sent word that he would no longer supply us with goods. Reardon is uneasy, but more prone to fight Malcolm than surrender. Kenneth O’Toole is wavering in our direction, but he’ll need …”
“Come quick, we must leave at once.” Kate grabbed Gavin’s arm. “Deirdre’s in the scullery inspecting the pots and pans. If we hurry, we can—”
“I thought perhaps you’d locked her in the stable. You seemed a trifle annoyed when she wouldn’t let you leave yesterday morning.”
“It’s been three days, and I’ve seen nothing but stone walls and stables and sculleries and—” She cast an anxious glance over her shoulder. “Come on!”
Gavin started to chuckle as he allowed himself to be propelled toward the door. “What if she catches us? Will we be set to scouring the pots?”
“Worse. She’ll find something else it’s my duty to do. I spent the entire afternoon yesterday going over last month’s accounts. She had poor Timothy MacDougal explain every sum he spent down to the last pen
ce.”
“It all sounds very laudable.”
“Oh, yes, very laudable,” Kate said with exasperation. “Everything she does is laudable. She’s firm but kind to the servants. She’s canny and works harder than anyone I’ve ever seen. She clearly wishes only the best for Robert and Craighdhu and labors from dawn to dark to see that all is well.” She threw open the door with barely contained violence. “She’s about to drive me mad.”
“Robert had a similar response when she first came here.”
“It could not be as bad. She’s like a river that sweeps everything in its path to the sea. She keeps me moving from task to task until I’m too weary to think.”
“You’re not so meek you could not refuse. Why have you let her rule you in this?”
She scowled. “I don’t know. It’s something about her that—She’s always so sure she’s right that she makes me believe I’m foolish to—Stop laughing.”
He tried to keep a straight face. “You said you wanted to know everything about Craighdhu. It’s sometimes dangerous to be granted your wishes. I know exactly what you mean about Deirdre. It’s a terrible bane to be around a person who is always right. Why do you think I have lodgings in the village?”
“I’ll not be so cowardly, but I—”
“Where are you going?”
Gavin and Kate turned to see Deirdre striding toward them across the hall.
“You know where we’re going,” Gavin said lightly. “The same place we’ve been trying to go for the last three days. I thought I’d take her to the village to see—”
“We have no time for that,” Deirdre said. “Today we must go to the stable and—”
“I’ve already seen the stable,” Kate interrupted. She did not care if it was cowardly or not, she had to escape. She took Gavin’s hand and ran down the steps. “Come on, Gavin.”
They hurried across the courtyard like two children fleeing punishment.
Kate cast a glance over her shoulder and saw Deirdre on the top step, a frown wrinkling her smooth forehead. “Do you think she’ll come after us?” she whispered