Robert stiffened. “What confession?”
“The nurse signed … it in the dungeon before … she died. I gave orders … that it be given to James on my death.” His gaze went to Kate in triumph. “I told you … I wouldn’t let … him win. Craighdhu … is gone. James will burn down half of Scotland to … kill her when he reads that confession.” He started to laugh. “And you’re gone …” He suddenly arched upward, laughter freezing on his face in a death rictus.
Kate shuddered and glanced away from him.
Robert was cursing beneath his breath. “Christ, why couldn’t the woman have died before she signed the damn thing!”
“What did he mean?” she asked dully. “What confession?”
“Proof that you’re Mary’s daughter. James had your wet nurse brought to Edinburgh, and Alec tortured her to death to obtain information.”
“Clara?” Clara was dead. That kind woman she could barely remember had suffered horribly and died because of Kate. The devastation she was spreading was growing, sucking bad and good alike down into a deadly whirlpool. “You didn’t tell me he’d killed her too.”
“Think about it later.” Robert lifted her onto her horse. “At least three of Alec’s guard escaped. They’ll carry word to Edinburgh.”
“I could go after them,” Jock suggested.
“It would only buy us a little time. We’d do better to use that time to get to the ship.”
Everything was moving too fast for Kate. “I don’t wish to—”
“Kate, if you argue with me now, I’ll bind you to that horse and gag you,” Robert said savagely. “We have to be out to sea before James’s soldiers come back and discover Alec’s dead.”
“We could try to find out who has the confession before he gives it to James,” Jock said. “We don’t know the timing of Alec’s instructions. We could have a day or two before James receives the confession.”
“Or we could have an hour. Knowing Alec, I’d wager on the latter.” Robert mounted his horse. “I can’t take the chance.”
The Irish Princess sailed out of the port of Granton three hours later, and Robert drew his first relaxed breath since he had killed Malcolm. They were safe for a little while, and he had time to think about their next move.
Kate moved to stand beside Robert at the rail. “I’m not going back to Craighdhu. If you take me there, I’ll only run away.”
“You’ll go where I take you,” he said. “There will be no place in all of Scotland that will be safe for you now.”
“Then I’ll not stay in Scotland either.” Her hands clenched on the rail. “Take me to Elizabeth—she helped me before. Perhaps she can find me a haven.”
“She helped you because it was convenient and eliminated a potential threat. If James knows who you are, the threat is real, and you’re definitely an inconvenience.”
“Perhaps you’re wrong. I’d rather take my chance with her than have Craighdhu destroyed.”
“Kate …” He drew a deep breath, trying to restrain his frustration. Christ, everything had gone wrong tonight, and her stubbornness was not helping matters. He had seen how the knowledge that another person had died for her had affected her, and he would have liked to give comfort, but there were decisions to make. “Why don’t you go to the cabin and go to bed. We’ll discuss this in the morning.”
“When we’ll be well on our way to Craighdhu.” Her eyes were glistening in the moonlight. “Why won’t you listen to me? All right, don’t take me to Elizabeth—take me to the Netherlands as Malcolm was going to do.”
“The Netherlands?” he repeated, startled. “I thought you said he was going to take you to England.”
“He changed his mind. It had something to do with the war. He said our greatest support would be in the Netherlands.” She reached out and grasped his arm. “If you won’t take me to Elizabeth, take me to the Netherlands or Italy or … or Russia. Anywhere but Craighdhu. I can’t bear to see—Why are you looking like that? What’s wrong?”
He felt as if he had been hit in the stomach. My God, that wily son of a bitch.
“Robert?”
“It’s all right. Go to the cabin,” he said. “I have to think.” He was already thinking, putting the pieces together. “I’ll join you in a little while.”
“Not tomorrow?”
He shook his head. “In a little while.” He was barely aware of her leaving as he looked blindly out to sea.
Kennilworth.
Our greatest support is in the Netherlands.
The serpent.
Christ.
• • •
Robert did not come to the cabin until after midnight. Kate was in bed but raised herself on one elbow when Robert walked into the room. “You were long enough. Did you think I’d be asleep?”
“I know you better than that,” Robert said as he slipped out of his leather vest and threw it on the chair. “With an argument on the horizon you’d stick pins in yourself to keep yourself awake.”
“I had no pins,” she said. “And I have no desire to argue with you.”
“Not if you get your own way.” He sat down on the bunk and took off his boots. The scent of him was suddenly there in the darkness: clean linen, salt, and sea. “I have no desire to argue with you either.”
There was a note in his quiet voice that made her uneasy. The moonlight streaming through the bank of windows of the forecastle cast a faint blue light over the cabin, but she needed to see more.
“Light the candle.”
“The moonlight’s good enough.”
Her apprehension grew as she realized he did not want her to see him clearly. “What’s wrong?” she asked, frowning.
“Because I don’t wish to argue with you?”
“No, there’s something else.…” She sat up and leaned back against the wall, studying him. She was not sure if it was the stark hardness of the moonlight or his expression that made him look so stern. “Are you angry with me?”
“No.”
Her hand nervously clutched the cover. “Then you’re sad because you think I might destroy Craighdhu. It’s not true. I won’t let that happen. You just have to let me go away, and it will be the same as if I never set foot on Craighdhu.”
“It can never be the same.”
“Why not? If I—”
“Because I will love you until the day I die.”
The joy that exploded within her was followed immediately by despair. Too late. If he had told her this that afternoon on Craighdhu— No, it had always been impossible. She had just not known it. She smiled tremulously. “That’s very pleasant, but it doesn’t really matter.”
“It matters very much.” He turned to face her. “It means I cannot leave you, and I will not let you leave me.”
She swallowed and then deliberately hardened her tone. “It does not mean that at all. Why do men always think it is only what they feel that is of any account? I care nothing for you. I only wanted Craighdhu. I plotted and planned—so you must forget about me, and I will forget—”
“Hush.” His fingers on her lips stopped the rush of words. “Hush, love.”
The tears that had been threatening overflowed and ran down her cheeks. Her head sank against his chest. “Don’t let me hurt you. Please, I don’t want to hurt you.”
He didn’t speak. The steady throb of his heart thundered beneath her ear as his hand gently stroked her hair.
“I wanted you to love me, but it’s all wrong … Maybe if you try, it will go away.”
“It won’t go away. We’ll just have to make the best of it. It can be a very good best, Kate.”
“Not if I take Craighdhu from you.”
“You won’t take it from me. I give it freely.”
A gift she could not accept. “Why?” she asked. “I don’t deserve it. No woman would deserve it. You can’t say it wouldn’t hurt.”
“No, I can’t say that, but it would hurt more to give you up.”
“You say that now.”
br />
“And I’ll say it again fifty years from now. Listen to me, Kate, this isn’t a decision I’ve made lightly. It’s very simple. You are more than Craighdhu. If I have to choose, then I take what is of most value to me.”
She knew she couldn’t allow it, but perhaps she could steal this moment.
Just once she wanted to say it. Surely, just one time would do no harm. Her halting whisper was scarcely audible in the darkness. “I … love you.”
His lips feathering her temple were exquisitely tender.
“But I’ll get over it,” she added quickly. “I do not have a constant nature. So you needn’t feel guilt about leaving me.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. I’m sure it will bring me great comfort.”
But he would pay no attention to her words. He knew her too well. He would never leave her, and someday it would destroy him. So she must find a way of leaving him, and she didn’t know if she would have the strength if he took her home to Craighdhu.
“I want to go to England.”
He stiffened against her. “No.”
“Can’t you see? It’s our only chance. If James knows who I am, then our only hope is if Elizabeth intercedes or finds a haven for me.”
“And the chances are that she will do neither.”
“We have to try.” She could sense his resistance still. “If you love me, take me to Elizabeth.” Her arms tightened desperately around him. “Please, Robert.”
For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to answer. He merely sat holding her, stroking her hair. Finally, he kissed her cheek and said softly, “Very well, lass. We’ll go see Elizabeth.”
“You’re very splendid,” Robert said as he helped her into the barge that was to take them to the palace. “I have fond memories of that gown.”
So did Kate. She nervously smoothed the crimson velvet skirt of the gown she had worn on the eve of Jean and Gavin’s wedding. “It’s the grandest I own. I’m not accustomed to court life, but I thought it would be appropriate.”
“More than appropriate.” Robert settled on the seat beside her, and the waterman pushed away from the dock. “You look like a flame.”
She felt a flicker of surprise. Robert seldom commented on her appearance. Then she understood; he knew she was nervous about the audience with the queen and was trying to give her confidence. “Let’s hope Elizabeth approves.”
Robert’s gaze shifted to the scene passing by on the banks of the river Thames. “Her approval is not a matter of dire necessity. We have other roads we can pursue.”
We. On the journey from Scotland she had tried to convince him she would not stay with him whatever the outcome of this audience, but he would not accept it. However, she was too worried about the coming meeting to argue with him now. “What other roads?”
He smiled. “We could sail away and raid Spanish galleons. Would you like to be a pirate, Kate?”
“No, and neither would you. You told me you were done with pirating.”
“Circumstances change.”
She had changed those circumstances. He was thinking of returning to buccaneering because on the high seas he could fight James with no danger to Craighdhu. Yet such a life would still be exile. She could not permit it. If Elizabeth offered her a haven, she must find a way to claim it without Robert’s knowledge of its location. “I will not discuss such foolishness. We will see what Elizabeth says.”
He smiled crookedly. “Aye, by all means, we must certainly hear what the queen has to say to your request.”
• • •
“Don’t bother me, Percy.” Elizabeth didn’t look up from the letter she was writing. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”
“I plead your indulgence, Your Majesty,” Percy Montgrave said. “But I thought you’d wish …” He stopped, searching for words. “The earl of Craighdhu begs an audience with you.”
Elizabeth’s pen stopped in midmotion. “Begs? That doesn’t sound like MacDarren. Your word, Percy?”
Percy scowled. “Demands. I told him you would not see him, but he cares nothing that you’re beset by worries about this Spanish—”
“Let him come in,” she interrupted.
“And the countess?”
She looked up swiftly. “His countess is here also?”
He nodded. “He wishes an audience for her as well.”
She set her pen in the inkwell. “By all means, let her come. I’d be curious to see the woman who would wed a man like MacDarren.”
She heard him mutter something in an undertone as he left the chamber. She quickly rose to her feet and moved to the gilt-framed mirror on the wall across the room. She touched the dark circles beneath her eyes. She had not slept well last night, nor many nights before, with all this blasted unrest with Philip. She straightened her ruff and bit her lips to redden them. Did she look old? Good God, why was she concerned with how she looked? It was not her appearance but her spirit and brains that made the world leap at her bidding.
“Your Majesty.”
She turned away from the mirror to see Robert MacDarren standing in the doorway, as comely and panther lethal as she remembered.
Her gaze moved to the woman dressed in crimson velvet standing next to him.
Kathryn.
• • •
Elizabeth was not as Kate had pictured her. Her ivory silk gown was magnificent, the ruby locket gracing her throat stunning, but the woman herself was not glorious. She was merely a rouged, aging woman whose tight curls appeared too brilliant a red to be natural.
Then the queen’s gaze swept to Kate, and she instantly changed her mind. The woman’s gaze was razor sharp, assessing and then summing.
Elizabeth tilted her head. “You’re no beauty, but you’re not without a certain comeliness.” To Robert she said, “You see, I told you the girl would be both meek and presentable.”
“Well, at least she’s presentable,” Robert said as he bowed low. “Your Majesty was right, as usual.”
“And you’re insolent, as usual. Have the courtesy to halt your mockery and bring your wife closer, so I can get a better look at her.”
Kate moved forward and swept the queen a low curtsy. “Your Majesty.”
“Rise, rise,” the queen said impatiently. “How can I see your features with you looking at my shoes?” Kate lifted her gaze, and Elizabeth’s appraisal raked first her face and then the gold-brown hair flowing from beneath the velvet cap. “Good eyes, and your hair has a fine thickness and bright color.”
“Did you expect it to be darker?” Robert asked.
Elizabeth turned to Robert. “Of course not. I received reports from the good vicar on the girl.”
“And Mary’s hair was not dark either,” Robert said. “Tell me, do you think she has the same—”
“It’s not your place to question but to give answers. Why are you not at Craighdhu, where you’re supposed to be?”
“I was at Craighdhu, but circumstances changed, and I was forced to adapt.”
Robert was more insolent and mocking than Kate had ever seen him. How the devil was she to ask a favor from Elizabeth if he persisted in antagonizing her? But perhaps that was his purpose. Kate had been aware he had been reluctant to come since the moment she had mentioned it.
Robert continued, “But Your Majesty is also very good at adapting to suit your needs. I remember in the Tower you were—”
“God’s blood, Robert, be silent and let me talk to her,” Kate snapped in exasperation.
The queen’s surprised gaze flew back to Kate. “Ah, not meek at all.” She threw back her head and laughed. “It serves you well, MacDarren.”
“Aye.” Robert smiled. “I’ve decided I deserve her.”
Kate gave him a warning look. “Forgive him, Your Majesty. He’s being most discourteous, when we have a favor to ask of you.”
“Favor?” Elizabeth repeated warily.
“Haven.” Kate quickly related the circumstances that had brought them here. “You’ve been kind
to me in the past. It’s my hope you will be equally kind to me now.”
“The nurse is dead?” Elizabeth demanded. “What of this confession?”
“We assume James now has it in his hands,” Robert answered.
“Damnation.” A flush of color darkened Elizabeth’s cheeks. “Blunderer. Could you do nothing right, MacDarren?”
“May I remind you that you’re the one who chose Sebastian Landfield?” Robert said. “If you’d told me he was mad enough to go to James, I’d have cut his throat before I took Kate to Craighdhu.”
“Are you saying the fault is mine?”
“Aye.” His smile was a tigerish baring of teeth. “The fault is entirely yours, Your Majesty.”
They were like two animals circling each other, about to pounce, Kate thought in frustration. “It does not matter where the fault lies. Will you help me?”
Elizabeth’s gaze swung back to her. “I don’t know if I can. If James knows your birth, the risk may be too great. I’m walking a very fine line with him right now.”
“So you intend to hand her over to James?” Robert asked.
“I didn’t say that,” Elizabeth snapped. “It may be possible for me to find her some kind of haven. But not here in England.”
“And you will not extend your protection over her?”
“That’s not possible. On no account must I appear to have a connection with her.”
Robert’s expression hardened. “You’re wrong,” he said. “It’s not possible for you to do anything else.”
“And why not?”
His gaze met the queen’s. “Because we both know what was in that confession signed by Clara Merkert. We know that Mary Stuart was not Kate’s mother.” He paused. “And that you are.”
“Robert!” Kate whispered.
Robert’s gaze was fixed on Elizabeth. “It’s true, isn’t it?”
“Lies,” Elizabeth said flatly. “Mad, rambling lies. And such arrant insult, I may have your head for it.”
“I don’t believe you’d take the risk. You wouldn’t want to expose my mad rambling to the light of day. The only safe route would be the assassin’s knife, but you’d have grievous problems justifying that to yourself. You do have a conscience.”