Unfortunately, Charles could not be discouraged that easily. “I cannot accept it,” he said, coming after him, “because it pains you. I can see it on your face. Let me help! Please! Tell me, and I promise you’ll feel better.”
Robert spun around, staring at his brother, and for a moment, he actually believed his words to be true. He had never kept a secret from his brother and doing so now felt more than just wrong. It almost felt like a betrayal in itself. And yet, an inner voice whispered in his ear, warning him that sharing this particular secret would only do harm. How could it not?
“Please,” Charles repeated. Stepping toward him, he placed his hands on Robert’s shoulders, his eyes intent on his brother’s. “Let me help.”
Closing his eyes, Robert shook his head. “I can’t.” Seeing the concern on his brother’s face, he shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I know you mean well, but this is something I have to deal with on my own. I cannot involve you. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“I’m your brother,” Charles insisted. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
An iron fist closed around Robert’s heart, squeezing the life from him. “I know.” He swallowed. “And for that very reason, I cannot tell you.”
Frowning, Charles looked him up and down, searching for the answer Robert wouldn’t give. “All right,” he finally said. “But know I am here whenever you need me.”
“Thank you, Brother.”
Charles took a deep breath. “Then let me ask you something else?”
Robert nodded, wondering what else his brother could possibly want to know.
“What do you think of Isabella now that you have spent some time with her?”
Taken aback, Robert’s eyes widened, and a shiver went down his back. “She’s…she’s a wonderful woman,” he stammered.
“Do you truly think so?” Charles asked. “You are my brother, and it is my dearest wish that you like her. After all, we are family now.” He smiled. “And maybe, just maybe, your way will lead you home more often now. I’ve missed you, Robert.”
Torn between love and guilt, Robert stared at his brother until a belated smile slowly tucked up the corners of his mouth. “I’ve missed you, too,” he said, knowing it to be true. And yet, he knew that once he left Bridgemoore again, he would probably not return.
How could he?
Chapter Ten − An Unbearable Temptation
Standing by the window in the front drawing room, Robert stared out into the rain. Heavy drops pelted the ground, forming fast puddles here and there. Dark clouds hung in the sky, blocking out the sun and promising even more rain.
Robert leaned his head against the cool window pane and sighed, hoping against hope that his gloomy thoughts were only an echo of the forces raging outside. If only they would disappear as easily as the dark clouds hanging in the sky.
For the past hour, he had thought about his brother’s words and come to no other conclusion but to leave Bridgemoore for good. He loved Isabella, and he could not bear the thought of watching her be his brother’s wife. And yet, he loved Charles just as much. If it had been any other man, he would simply have stolen her away in the middle of the night, but he could not betray Charles.
Robert knew he had a duty to Bridgemoore, but he had never cared about the title and felt certain his brother would do far better than he ever could in managing the estate’s business. After all, he had done so all these years!
From down the hall, footsteps echoed as they approached. Then Charles’ voice cut through the silence. “Where is Robert? Go and find him!”
Hearing the edge in his brother’s voice, Robert opened the door. “What is going on?” As he looked from Charles to Adriana, Robert felt his heart speed up. Both their faces held the same worry edged into their eyes, their jaws clenched.
“Isabella went for a walk, and she has not returned,” his brother explained.
“What?” Robert stared out the window into the pouring rain. “How long has she been gone?”
Adriana shrugged, her cheeks pale with fear. “I’m not sure. We were outside in the rose garden, and she said she wanted to take a stroll to clear her mind.” Her eyes were almost pleading as they looked at him. “She said she wouldn’t be long. She said she’d be back before supper.”
“That was half an hour ago,” Charles added, and Robert realised that he had forgotten about supper altogether. “I am worried, Robert. I have to go find her.”
“I’ll help you.” Grabbing his coat, he hurried for the door.
Charles followed close behind him. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“Do you know which direction she went?” Robert called over his shoulder as he pulled open the door and the drumming rain almost drowned out his voice.
“North,” Adriana stammered, staring into the downpour. “I think she headed north.”
By the time the brothers reached the stables, they were soaked through. Not waiting for the stable boys, they quickly saddled their horses, feeling the need to hurry in their trembling limbs.
Pulling himself into the saddle, Charles looked over to his brother. “I’ll go north-east, you’ll go north-west. We’ll meet in the middle.”
Robert had barely time to nod before Charles’ gelding shot past him into the rain and was lost from sight a moment later.
Urging on his mare, Robert followed, turning north-east. As the rain drummed down on his scalp and shoulders, fear crept into his heart. What if they didn’t find her? Where had she gone?
In the half-dark, the world looked different, especially through the curtain of rain that hung before his eyes. Constantly afraid, he might overlook her, Robert slowed his horse. Squinting his eyes, he peered out into the rain, trying to catch a glimpse of his surroundings. When had it started to rain? Where had she been then? Probably too far from the manor or she would have returned, he thought. Where else could she have sought shelter?
Nothing but wet grass stretched before his feet. Craning his neck, he spotted the small chestnut grove where they had often played as children. Almost hidden in the dark, its tall trees stood like a green wall side by side in a half-circle.
Urging his mare on, Robert leaned forward, once again squinting his eyes against the rain.
At first, he could spot nothing but tall trunks and densely growing treetops. But as he drew nearer, he saw something move close to a tree stem on the eastern side of the grove. Directing his horse toward it, he held his breath.
Then he saw her, and relief flooded his heart.
Crouched on the ground, Isabella had her arms wrapped around her knees, her clothes and hair dripping wet and clinging to her skin.
When he approached, she looked up and then rose to her feet, her eyes locked on his face.
“Are you all right?” he called through the deafening drum of the downpour.
She nodded her head as he pulled up his reins and jumped to the ground. Dropping the reins, he strode toward her, holding out his hands to her
However, seeing his intention, Isabella took a step back, shaking her head.
Frowning, Robert stopped. “Are you all right?”
“You should leave,” Isabella said, wrapping her arms around her middle as her limbs began to tremble. Tears rolled down her face, and for a moment, she closed her eyes. “Why did you come?” she sobbed.
“How could I not?” Robert asked dumbfounded and took a careful step closer. “Why did you walk this far from the manor? Let me take you home.”
Isabella shook her head, despair clinging to her eyes. “I…I didn’t notice. I just walked. I wanted to get away−if only for a moment.” Her voice broke. “I don’t know what to do. Please, tell me what to do.”
Hanging his head, Robert sighed. “I can’t for I am just as lost.”
“Are you?” she asked, and her eyes narrowed. Then she lifted her head. “Will you marry Adriana?”
“What?” Robert’s eyes went wide as though she had just punched him in the stomach. “Why wo
uld you ask that?”
“She is my sister,” Isabella said, her hands closing more tightly around her arms. “In many ways, she is just like me, and she cares for you.” Lifting her eyes to his, she stepped forward. “You cannot have me, but you can have her.”
As the breath caught in his throat, Robert’s eyes narrowed. “She may be your sister, but she is not you,” he snapped, stepping closer. “Do you truly think so little of me that you just assume I do not care which sister I bed?”
Although he could see that she had to force herself not to avert her eyes, a deep blush crept up her cheeks. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she whispered, and he had to strain his ear to hear her.
Robert snorted as the blood pulsed in his veins. “Considering your suggestion, you should have no problem being my brother’s wife.” He lowered his head, his eyes drilling into hers. “After all, he is just like me.”
Isabella drew in a sharp breath. “He is not,” she said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I just…I don’t know what to do.”
Straightening, Robert inhaled deeply. “I will leave Bridgemoore come morning.” Isabella’s eyes widened. “Then I will be out of your way, and you can…you can…,” he trailed off, unable to finish even the thought of what good his departure might mean for his brother’s marriage.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she finally said, sadness clinging to her eyes, making him almost retract his words. “However, I know that you have to. It’s inevitable and probably for the best. But…before you go, there is something I would ask of you?”
“What is it?”
She swallowed and met his eyes. “Would you kiss me?”
Robert’s eyes went wide as he tried to make sense of her words.
“Just once,” she added. “I just…I want to know what it feels like.”
All of a sudden, anger surged through his body, and his hands balled into fists. “Why?” he snorted. “So that you can compare my kiss to my brother’s?”
Startled by his sudden outburst, Isabella took a step back. For a long time, her eyes stared into his before she shook her head. “He never touched me.”
Robert’s eyes narrowed. “Never?”
“Never.” Taking a deep breath, she stepped toward him, her hands coming to rest on the front of his shirt. Lifting her head, she looked at him, her eyes almost pleading.
***
His chest rose and fell beneath her fingertips, and Isabella could feel the warmth of his skin through the wet layer of clothing separating them. Looking into his eyes, she saw the struggle he faced as the muscles in his jaw clenched.
“Just once,” she whispered, selfishly hoping that the temptation was too great for him to resist. Even though her mind knew her request to be morally wrong, her heart could not bear the thought of never knowing his touch.
Slowly, ever so slowly, his hands came around her waist as though he had to fight himself every step of the way.
Feeling his arms pull her closer against his body, Isabella rejoiced, enjoying the unexpected tingles that ran through her being.
His gaze searched her face, now and again lowering from her eyes to her lips. Breathing hard, he whispered, “Just once,” as though to convince himself that once was not the transgression he knew it to be.
When his lips finally brushed against hers, Isabella’s knees went weak, and she sagged against him.
Instantly, his arms closed around her, holding her upright and pressing her into his body. She moaned, and her arms wrapped around his neck.
Feeling her respond, he deepened the kiss, his mouth tasting every curve of her lips, her mouth, her tongue. Once awakened, his hunger knew no bounds. His hands travelled over her body, and she desperately hoped he would never stop.
But he did.
As though a shot had rung out in the distance, Robert suddenly froze. Lifting his head, he closed his eyes and then stepped back, his hands trembling with the effort it took to release her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, pained eyes looking into hers. “I shouldn’t have.”
Swallowing, Isabella shook her head. “I asked you to, remember? You have nothing to apologise for.”
“Yes, I do.” He inhaled deeply. “I betrayed my brother. I kissed his wife. I can’t believe I…” Shaking his head, he took another step back, seemingly unable to stand the sight of her.
Feeling the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes, Isabella stepped forward. “Please don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you curse the very day you laid eyes on me.”
As a heart-breaking sob rose from her throat, he took her hands in his. “I do, and I don’t. I can’t imagine not knowing you, and yet, if we had never met, neither one of us would be in this horrible situation. We would be better off.”
“I know,” Isabella said, and the tears spilled forth, running down her cheeks.
Wrapping his arms around her, Robert pulled her against his chest, holding her close and letting her cry.
“Maybe we should tell him,” Robert whispered into her hair, and Isabella’s head snapped up.
“What?”
Shrugging his shoulders, he looked into her eyes. “I cannot help but think that lying to him is an even greater betrayal than feeling about one another the way we do.”
“Do you truly mean that?”
“We cannot help how we feel,” Robert said, resignation clouding his eyes. “But we are in control of our actions. We chose not to tell him but to lie to him instead. Even if I leave Bridgemoore, nothing will change, and he won’t even know why.” Placing a hand under her chin, he made her look at him. “No matter what he does, he won’t be able to win your heart, will he?”
Isabella shook her head. “No.”
“Then he deserves to know why.”
“I already told him,” Isabella said, watching his eyes grow wide. “No, I mean I told him that I had lost my heart to another. I didn’t tell him it was you. I didn’t feel it was my place. But I had to say something. When he came to my bedchamber that night, I couldn’t…I just couldn’t…I kept wishing he was you.”
Robert nodded. “You’re right. It was not your place. It is mine.” He took a deep breath. “I will tell him.”
Chapter Eleven − A Confession Long Awaited
After changing out of his wet clothes, Robert headed back downstairs toward his brother’s study.
When the rain had finally died down a little, he had mounted his mare, pulling Isabella into the saddle in front of him. Wrapping his arms around her to keep the cold wind at bay, he had savoured the feeling of her warm body pressed against his.
Half-way back toward Bridgemoore, they had come across Charles, whose relief upon seeing them safe had only added to the heavy burden resting on Robert’s shoulders. He dreaded telling his brother the truth, and yet, he knew his mind would never be at ease if he kept this secret.
Upon their return, Charles had intended to escort Isabella to her bedchamber. However, appearing as though out of nowhere, her mother and sister had instantly gathered around them, clucking like chickens, and had then sent Charles away, themselves tending to Isabella’s needs.
An amused smile on his lips, Charles had returned to his own chamber to exchange his soaking wet clothes for dry ones before he went to his study for a drink before supper.
Now, he sat behind his desk, and standing outside the door, Robert could not help but wonder whether or not they would part as enemies that night. Would Charles demand that he leave their family home immediately? If his brother did, would he comply?
Robert shook his head and then rested his forehead against the heavy wooden door. How often had he done so as a boy before knocking and then being called into his father’s study to receive yet another punishment?
A wistful smile played on his lips as he finally knocked and then entered.
Rising from his chair, Charles grinned at him. “You look like you could use a drink.”
“I w
ouldn’t say no should you offer one.” Returning his brother’s grin, Robert stepped forward, taking the offered drink with a sigh of relief. It warmed his insides, yet, could not still the trembling in his hands.
“Are you all right?” Charles asked, taking note of his brother’s depressed state. “Have you caught a chill? Maybe it would be wise to head to bed early today.”
“Maybe,” Robert mumbled, setting down his empty glass. Then he lifted his gaze off the floor and met his brother’s eyes. “I need to speak to you first though.”
“You do?” Charles’ eyebrows rose into arches.
Robert nodded and then swallowed, not knowing where to begin. Raking his hands through his hair, he started to pace, occasionally glancing up at his brother. “I know I said I couldn’t tell you. I thought it would be better for everyone if you didn’t know, but…Maybe I am selfish, but I cannot live like this anymore.” He shook his head, trying to clear it. “Look at me! It has only been two days, and I’m a wreck!”
“Then tell me,” Charles said. Leaning against the edge of his desk, he crossed his arms over his chest. “Whatever it is, I am glad that you have decided not to keep secrets from me.”
Robert nodded, hoping with all his heart that somehow everything would turn out fine. “Before I tell you, I just want to say that I love you. You mean the world to me, Brother, and I never set out to betray you. I never wanted to hurt you. It was the furthest thing from my mind, but…things just happened−I’m not entirely sure how−but…” He took a deep breath. “I just hope that one day, you’ll be able to forgive me.”
Slightly cocking his head to the side, Charles asked, “It is Isabella, is it not?”
Robert’s breath caught in his throat, and he stared at his brother. “But…How do you…?”
The hint of a smile played on Charles’ lips as he shook his head and then stepped toward his brother. “You’re in love with her, am I right?”
Staring at his brother, Robert felt as though his heart had just stopped beating. “Well, she…I mean, we…”