His refusal to real medical attention only made things worse, though. I wasn’t a doctor. And with no way to determine what the heck was afflicting him all I could do was help him with blind, generic Magick. On Sunday night—while Aaron slept next to me on the sofa—I knelt before him, stroked his hair and shoulders, and prayed to the Goddess to relieve his pain and cleanse his aura of negativity.
I had hoped my Magick would work, but I didn’t stick around to find out. Seeing him on the sofa, breathing peacefully, was stirring a feeling inside of me. A feeling which under no circumstance could be allowed outside of the cage I had locked it in. And when I kissed his forehead to seal the Magick into him it felt like the cage was starting to crack. I had to leave. To get away. To go home.
But home wasn’t waiting for me with open arms and a warm embrace.
On Monday morning—just as I was about to leave for class—I came across a letter in my letterbox. I wasn’t used to receiving mail but the return address was Raven’s Hall, so I went back inside and read it on the kitchen table. Every word after “Dear Miss Lee” was like a hammer blow to the gut. I didn’t have to read far to get the gist of it.
I had been expelled.
My chest tightened. I read the letter again and again in disbelief. With every pass a kind of heady, hot energy filled me and caused my fingers to tremble. Expelled. Expelled? Who the fuck did they think they were to expel me like common academic trash? I didn’t deserve expulsion!
Thunder rolled above. The bright sky darkened, and the letter burst into flames in my hand. I was quick to get it into the sink before I set the rest of the house on fire, but I could feel the heat flowing through me as I watched the paper disintegrate into a pile of ash in the sink. Still, that did nothing to calm my nerves. So I had missed a little class. A few months ago some madman stabbed me in the gut and tried to kill me. I was a Witch, for God’s sake. I lived in a world people couldn’t even begin wrap their minds around. This shouldn’t have been happening to me. I could have rushed into that school right now and cause all kinds of merry hell if I wanted to because they had no right to expel me out of the blue.
And besides, where were all the warnings?
My head started to spin. Answers. I needed answers. I rummaged around in my bag for my phone and pulled it out, called the school, and demanded to speak to the professor. Class hadn’t started yet so I was sure I would get through. I just had to.
“Hello?” a male voice said.
Another roll of thunder churned overhead.
“Hi, Professor? It’s Amber Lee.”
“Oh, yes. What can I do for you, Miss Lee?”
I took a deep breath. “You can start by telling me why the hell I’ve been expelled from Raven’s Hall.”
“Right, yes, of course. Well, for starters, you have missed many of your classes, and—”
“I know I’ve missed a lot of class, but that isn’t—”
“Please, Miss Lee, allow me to speak.”
My voice was rapid-fire. I had to calm down.
“Yes, so,” the professor continued, “Your attendance over the last few months has been completely unsatisfactory and you have missed the deadline on several assignments. I had hoped your performance would improve over time, but seeing as it hadn’t, I was left with no choice.”
“But, I mean, this just hit me out of nowhere! I didn’t receive any warnings!”
“Miss Lee, I assure you, all of the necessary measures were taken to ensure that you were informed about your unsatisfactory attendance and the fact that if you missed anymore assignments we would have to expel you.”
“What measures did you take?”
“We have sent you letters, and emailed you.”
“I… I haven’t received anything!” I rushed at the letterbox with the phone still in my hand, half expecting to open it to a flood of letters I had somehow missed, but it was empty. “When did you send these letters and emails?” I asked.
“Miss Lee, getting hold of you over the last month or so has been a difficult exercise. Whether you have received the letters and the emails or not is immaterial. They were sent to the addresses you provided to us when you enrolled.”
“Why couldn’t you have told me at class?”
“Because, Miss Lee, it wasn’t my place to tell you in person; although as time went on, I wished I had.”
“This can’t be happening! I’m a good student, Professor. You know that! Didn’t you read the paper I gave you last week?”
“What paper?”
“The… the paper on Demons and the Church. I left it with your assistant on Wednesday. I wanted to give it to you in person but you weren’t there. Don’t tell me you didn’t get it.”
“No, I’m afraid I didn’t.”
It was like being stabbed in the stomach all over again; a cold, quick incision which burned straight after.
“You have to check with your assistant! I left it there for you! I even finished all of the other assignments! I caught up!" My voice was shaking.
The professor fell silent. “Amber,” he said, in a low voice “Last week I pulled your phone number from your file and tried to call you. A few times.”
“You… tried to… to call me?” I stumbled over my words. I hadn’t gotten any calls from the professor. Come to think of it, I hadn’t gotten any calls at all in a while. I had made calls, though, so I knew my phone was working. It didn’t make sense. Was he lying to me? And if so, why?
“Amber, I’m afraid that your expulsion stands.”
“What? But… that can’t be right, you can’t just expel me like that.”
A strange gargling sound came through the phone and my ear started to burn. I removed the phone from my head but it went white hot in my hand! I dropped it on the ground and it bounced on the carpet. I thought it was going to explode, but it lay there, inert. Did I do that? Was that my Magick acting out?
I knelt before the phone, felt its edges with my fingertips—cool—and picked it back up, but something didn’t quite feel right. The phone felt heavy and sticky. I chalked it down to nerves and said, into the phone, “Professor? Are you still there?”
I heard breathing on the other line; heavy grunting of some kind, like the kind a pig might make. “You did this to yourself,” a male voice said, and the line went dead.
I tried to call back but got no answer, not from him or his assistant. Then I went around the kitchen and checked in cupboards and drawers to see if, maybe, I had absentmindedly brought mail in from the mailbox but not checked them—a totally normal thing to happen to a person. But I found nothing; no mail whatsoever. No emails. No calls and no voicemails.
Well, shit.
CHAPTER 10
By the time I left my house whatever clouds had been circling above earlier on had left and made way to an intense and thawing sunlight which left the town covered a shimmering mantle of wetness. Part of me wanted to consider what I was seeing as some kind of a new beginning as the sparkle made everything seem brand new, fresh, and clean. But I was way too engrossed in my own anger to see any positives.
How had I let it get so bad? I knew I was behind, but in all those conversations I had shared with the Professor not once did he make it seem like my days at Raven’s Hall were numbered. I couldn’t blame him, though, could I? It wasn’t his fault I wasn’t showing up to class. He was just doing his job. And I guessed I wasn’t so much dismayed that I would never get my degree, either. I was sure that, if I wanted to, I could get back in and continue. I was just shocked and angry that I had been expelled at all.
So I drove around for an hour before deciding to go and see Damien, and he was in his downtown apartment watching TV when I got to him. I felt bad trampling over his free time with my problems, but I needed him. I needed to vent, to get things off my chest, and Eliza already had too much on her plate to listen to me vent.
“He even said they’d been trying to contact me for ages,” I said, “But I’ve had no emails, no phone calls
and no letters—besides the one I got today.”
“I’m sorry,” Damien said. “The university is being a dick about this. How are you holding up?”
“I’m fine, I just can’t believe I’ve been expelled. Besides the last few weeks of absences I’ve been, like, the perfect student.”
“I know, look, we just have to figure this out. No expulsion is final. You can appeal to the school, make your case, and maybe they’ll reinstate you.”
Despite the dirt my anger and shock had kicked up into my logical mind I hadn’t lost sight of the fact that reinstatement was probably achievable. No expulsion was final. They could all be appealed. But that wasn’t where my mind was at. I wasn’t thinking about going back to class. What I couldn’t understand was where all those emails and letters had gone—and what in the world made the professor tell me that I had done it to myself?
I wasn’t expecting to hear that.
“Do you know what the process for appeal is?” I asked.
“I don’t,” Damien said, “But you said you finished all your assignments right?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“What more can they ask you to do but hand them in and promise never to miss class again?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.”
“Exactly. We’ll fill out some forms, hand in your assignments, shake hands with the professor, and get you back in class. But we’ll do it tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yeah, you’re in no position to talk to anyone at the university right now. And I don’t think I’d be able to stop you from hurling the professor from one side of the hall to the other with your mind.”
“I guess not.” I chuckled at the thought. “Thank you. You really know how to bring me back home, don’t you?”
Damien smiled. I loved his smile. He had such nice teeth and secret dimples which would only form when he smiled. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed his lower lip. Damien held me as we kissed, and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to float away with him and forget about this life, if only for a few moments.
I hadn’t had a lot of time with Damien of late and I would have been lying if I said I didn’t miss him. His smile, his warmth, his laugh, touch and kiss. My hands searched the insides of his shirt. I went to pull it up but he stopped me. “We can’t,” he whispered.
“What? Why not?”
“Because we’re going to Eliza’s tonight. It’s Yule. Remember?
“Oh shit.” I had completely forgotten. Tonight was Yule; the longest night of the year. Eliza had spent the last few days preparing mulled wine, spiced cider and making all kinds of festive treats and snacks for the occasion. How could I have forgotten? We had been looking forward to it all week. All month, even.
I shot upright. “I have to get the Yule log from my place. And my dress! I have to call Frank, too. I don’t think I gave him the address. Fuck!”
Damien was smiling again.
“What are you so happy about?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m just glad this has made you happy.”
“How could I not be happy? This is perfect. Screw the expulsion. Tonight is Yule. Time to rock out, right?”
I believed what I said when the words left my lips. Tonight was a night to be happy about the things that I had, and not fret the things I didn’t have. I still had friends, family, and health. The thought of spending the night with people I cared about was enough to pull me out of that pit of anger I was letting myself get sucked into.
Do good things and good things come back to you. That was part of the Witch’s creed. I had been expelled from Raven’s Glen, but the expulsion happened on the night of Yule. The news didn’t screw the holiday up; the holiday was there to soften the blow. Karma was a living, breathing thing, and I felt it today more than ever.
I kissed Damien on the lips again. “I have to go,” I said. “Get changed, come to my house, and we’ll catch a cab to Eliza’s.”
He didn’t get a chance to object or set conditions, or even ask me about times. I was out the door in nanoseconds, my heart singing with delight.
Forget Raven’s Hall; tonight was going to be special.
CHAPTER 11
Spending the rest of my afternoon at home getting gussied up for our Yuletide dinner was the best therapy. Better than hot chocolate, better than talking to someone about what was going on in my mind, and better than sex. Well, sex may have helped, but with the way I was looking tonight, sex was in the cards anyway.
Oh yes.
I was wearing a little green number I had bought for the occasion. Add to that a splash of fruity perfume, red lips and eyes, and a black choker and Damien would be eating out of the palm of my hand. He had been a good boyfriend earlier when he took me in and made me feel better. So tonight I was going to show him how much I appreciated his patience.
The cab arrived at about 4pm with Damien inside. I grabbed the herbs, incense, and the assortment of deli-meats I had bought the day before and hurried to the car. Damien, who looked all kinds of dapper in his black buttoned shirt and dark jeans, helped me load everything—including the Yule log, which I had to run back inside and get—into the car and we got underway.
“Wow, you look… amazing,” Damien said.
“Thanks. I’m glad you like it.”
He leaned over to me, drank in a whiff of my perfume, and kissed the part where jaw met my neck. Playful tingles raced through me.
“What’s that about?” I asked.
“Nothing. You just smell delicious.” His lips traveled to my earlobe. His teeth followed. It was starting to get pretty warm inside that cab.
“Are you going to behave tonight?” I asked.
“Only for as long as I have to,” he said.
“Well, behave and I’ll let you take this dress off me tonight.”
“That sounds good to me,” he said, relinquishing my earlobe.
“Thank you for giving me my ear back. I really am glad you like the dress. I bought it with you in mind.”
“That’s interesting, because I’ve got something for you too.”
“Oh?” I cocked my head to the side.
Damien placed the back of his closed fist on my lap. A sliver of light crept through the crack in his fingers, and when he opened his palm a trio of tiny glittering orbs shimmered into existence. The orbs threw little glints of silver light all around so that the back seat of the cab looked more like an indoor swimming pool. I wondered if the cabbie had even noticed.
“When did you learn how to do that?” I asked.
“It wasn’t difficult,” he said, “I’ll teach you.” Our voices were low.
“I’ve seen them before… I woke up once and they were all around me. Then I called them once during a cleansing ritual… but I’ve never been able to call them since. How are you doing it?”
“All in good time,” he said, smiling.
The orbs had a mind of their own, each possessed of its own entity, dancing and floating between fingers. One climbed on the back of my hand and glided up to my wrist, leaving a cold, prickly sensation where it went. All of a sudden, a group of them floated to the palm of my hand and arranged themselves into a heart shape causing my worries to fall away like ashes on a breeze.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
“So much better,” I said. “I had time to think at home, and it’s like, I can be mad about this or just… fuck it.”
I prodded the heart shape in my palm with my finger and several slivers crawled up my other hand. They were brave little things.
“That’s a good attitude to have,” Damien said.
“I can’t change what’s happened. At least not right now. So what’s the point in turning it over in my mind? I have more important things to do tonight, like enjoy the company of my best friends and make sure you and Eliza have the best Yule.”
Damien smiled a warm smile. He looked so handsome. I tucked a strand of his long hair behind his ear and returned the smil
e. “There,” I said. “Now you’re the girl.”
“Oh sure.”
The orbs floated to the ceiling of the cab and disappeared through it, as if called by some unknown force. “Where’d they go?”
“I don’t know. I have no idea where they even come from. I just know how to call them.”
“That’s so amazing.”
“Hey, no one can throw things around a room like you can, or start fires with their minds like you can. That’s pretty amazing.”
“You’d think that, but it scares me sometimes.”
The cab ground to a halt, ending our conversation.
“Six fifty,” said the cabbie.
“I’ve got this one,” I said, paying the man before Damien could protest. Damien stepped out of the cab with the bags and I followed him out to the curb.
Eliza’s house was the only one in the neighborhood not decked out with shiny Christmas lights, streamers and statues. She had decorated it in her own, humble way, though. A holly wreath hung from the front door, mistletoe was dangling from the porch and, off to the side, a basket full of fresh fruit had been tucked under a blanket offering visitors something sweet as a welcome gift.
Understated and personal. Perfect.
“Nice neighborhood,” Damien said. He had never been to Eliza’s place before.
“Lots of kids,” I said, “So it’s pretty friendly.”
“Eliza’s house kinda sticks out, though, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t think so. I think the decoration’s modest, but it does the trick.”
“Sticking true to the old roots.”
“As it should be,” Frank said. His lanky form came in to view from down the street. “I hate how commercialized this whole holiday is anyway.”
“You and millions of other people,” Damien said.
“Let’s not get into that, okay?” I said to both men, “Leave the politics at the door. There will be nothing but cheer and happiness tonight.”
“Alright,” Frank said, “I promise I’ll tone it down. But I’m not happy about it. She should love me for me.”