Just her and me and nothing else.
Chapter 7
#116 Hang On.
Kayden
After the night I spent with Callie, it feels like things are going to be okay. That maybe I can let all this shit go and not worry about it. That maybe I’ll never get resolution for what happened to me and that I just need to move on. I want to, but I’m not sure I can.
It’s morning and I’m hanging out in my room, trying to catch up on some assignments, when my phone starts to ring. I cringe when I see Dylan’s name on the screen, my mind instantly thinking the phone call is going to be bad.
I almost don’t answer it, but knowing it’ll drive me mad if I don’t, I make myself reach for the phone and press talk. Niko is hanging out at the computer desk, playing a game, so I head into the hallway to talk.
‘What’s up?’ I ask Dylan as I shut the door behind me. I’m figuring it’s a call about Tyler, so when he says, ‘Dad,’ it almost doesn’t register in my brain.
‘Huh …? What …? Did you …?’ I’m struck speechless.
Dylan says, which is seeming to become his M.O., ‘Kayden, I’m so sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this.’
I make a right toward the bathrooms, maneuvering through people, practically shoving them out of my way. ‘Telling me what?’ Because I seriously didn’t hear anything but Dad.
There’s the sigh again. ‘I found Mom and Dad, Kayden … and it’s bad … well, bad depending on how you look at it.’
I make it to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall. ‘How so?’ I slump against the stall door, telling myself to breathe, but my heart is taking up all the fucking space in my chest. It’s like I’ve been kicked in the gut and slammed in the face over and over again.
I found Mom and Dad.
‘Dad’s in the hospital.’ He pauses and I can tell he’s struggling to keep his voice balanced. ‘I didn’t get too much information, considering Mom is the queen of lying about shit she doesn’t want to talk about.’ Another pause. ‘Are you okay?’
I take a deep breath. Then another. And another.
‘Yeah …’
I found Mom and Dad.
‘Kayden?’
Dad’s in the hospital.
Is this my resolution?
‘I have to go,’ I choke then hang up the phone. My pulse is pounding, my skin damp with sweat, and I can’t get air into my lungs. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way – this bad – but I can’t help it. The thoughts going through my head … I’d wanted resolution, but not like this.
Or did I?
Am I that kind of a person?
To wish pain upon someone else?
Am I like my father?
The last thought is fucking horrifying. I feel like I’m about to fall again, tumble into the dark, pick up that blade and slice away until whatever’s inside me bleeds out. I don’t want to, but I do.
I want it.
Want it.
Want it.
I’m barely able to hang on.
Chapter 8
#122 Dance Like it’s Your Prom.
Callie
Once upon a time, there was a girl who thought she was a princess. And really, weren’t all girls supposed to be?
She grew up happy, with a loving, perhaps over doting mother, and a father who took care of her. Her older brother wasn’t too bad for the most part, as much as any older brother was. And while she didn’t grow up in a castle surrounded by knolls of grassland country blossoming with flowers and trees, her simple home felt like a palace in her small town. It made her feel protected and safe from all the bad she’d heard whispers of, yet wasn’t sure if it existed, since she’d never seen any of it for herself.
Yes, all was well in the princess’s world. But on her twelfth birthday … that all changed when the bad entered the walls of her palace. He didn’t break down the place or force his way in like in the books or movies. He simply walked through the door welcomed with open arms. And he didn’t have fangs or sharp teeth that would warn the princess that maybe he wasn’t good but a monster. No, he was dressed in normal clothes with normal teeth and he even had a normal smile. He was simply a normal guy. At least, that was what the princess thought.
But the princess was wrong and she soon, and very tragically, found out what the bad things were she’d only heard whispers about.
In a house full of balloons and presents, the guy trapped her in a place she’d once felt safe and broke the princess into a thousand pieces that would never fully be found again. And he didn’t just break them, but stole some of them as well, keeping them somewhere no one else could see them.
After it was all over, the broken princess was no more. She simply felt like a girl who was invisible. Princesses were supposed to be happy, pretty, have lots of friends, and go to parties. Not be so broken. But the girl no longer did or felt any of those things. Her palace was now a prison. And the family that had once brought her happiness, felt like nothing more than ghosts in a dark and unfamiliar world she’d been forced into.
Invisible vines grew around the home, full of thorns, making it painful to both leave and stay. Nowhere felt safe. And that was how she believed things would always be, that she would suffer from the bad all on her own for the rest of her life.
But six years later, on a warm, summer night, the girl discovered she wasn’t the only one being broken by bad, scary monsters. They were everywhere, destroying walls and people – destroying one guy in particular. He wasn’t just a guy, though, but the most beautiful and broken guy the girl had ever seen. She knew the moment she saw him she had to save him from the monster that stood before him with his fangs out …
‘Whatcha doing?’ Seth asks as he strolls into my room without knocking. He’s dressed head to toe in black with studs on his belt and an array of leather bands on his wrists. His boots are clunky, his jacket with buckles trendy.
I’m not even sure what he’s supposed to be. We just sort of wandered into this gothic store and started picking out articles of clothing that weren’t in the norm for us. ‘Because that’s what Halloween is supposed to be about, right?’ Seth had said and I’d agreed. We’d actually taken Violet, Luke’s girlfriend, to pick out her costume, although hers was a lot different from mine and honestly, the girl looked like she belonged in the store.
I glance up from my laptop. ‘Writing a nontraditional fairytale for my writing portfolio.’
He peers over my shoulder and reads a few sentences on the screen. ‘I have a feeling from the title that this happy introduction is going to go dark.’ He pauses, looking at me. ‘Are you writing a story about yourself?’
I shake my head and close the laptop, feeling self-conscious. ‘No, just writing about stuff I know.’
He raises his eyebrows in skepticism. ‘You know, you’re brave if you tell your story.’
I set the laptop on the nightstand. ‘But it’s not my story. It’s for a class assignment. Nothing more. Nothing less.’
‘Hmmm …’ He’s not buying it, but drops it anyway, which is good because his accusation is making me the slightest bit uncomfortable. ‘So you about ready for tonight?’
I nod as I cross the room and throw open the closet door. ‘Yeah, should I get dressed now, though? Or take the dress with me and change somewhere else?’ I grab the hanger with the dress on and step back into the room. ‘I’m not sure if I should wander around dressed like this.’
Seth rolls his eyes at me. ‘Oh, my darling Callie, it’s Halloween. You could walk around naked and people wouldn’t think too much of it.’
My cheeks start to heat. ‘Well, I’m not going to do that.’
‘Yeah, we can leave that to me.’ He waggles his eyebrows with a teasing glint in his eyes that makes me giggle.
‘Fine, I’ll put the dress on now.’ I step back into the closest and slip out of my pants and T-shirt. ‘So what’s Greyson dressed up as?’
‘His normal, adorable self,’ Seth answers.
/> ‘He didn’t want to dress up?’ I slip the dress off the hanger and hesitate, deciding if I really want to wear this. Yeah, it’s just a dress, but it’s shorter than the few I’ve worn over the last few months. It’s gorgeous, though – dark blue with black lines decorated with studs that run vertically and horizontally in the chest area. To go with it, I have a pair of lacy knee-high stockings, black knee-high boots, and a velvet choker. When I bought it, I had this image of a gothic rocker chick, which is totally unlike the usual stuff I wear.
Deciding that I need to do this, I get dressed then twist my hair up, leaving a few stray waves out to frame my face. Even though my jacket doesn’t really go with it, I still grab it from the hanger, knowing I’m going to freeze to death without it.
‘Ta-da!’ I exclaim as I spring out of the closet with my hands up, striking a pose.
Seth is messing around with his phone, and when he glances up, his jaw drops. ‘Holy shit, you look hot.’
I instantly wrap my arms around myself. ‘Maybe I should change.’
Shaking his head, his eyes scroll up my attire. ‘No way. You are staying just like that.’ He waltzes up to me, reaching into his jacket pocket. ‘And I have two more things to add some detail to your hot ass.’
‘Seth,’ I hiss because his compliments are embarrassing me, ‘stop saying that.’
When he takes his hand out, he has two items in his palm – a tube of lipstick and eyeliner. ‘Well, you better get used to it because you’re going to hear it a lot tonight, especially from Kayden.’ He grins as he pats the desk chair. ‘Now sit down and put this stuff on.’
I take the lipstick, which is a dark red, and the kohl eyeliner. ‘Where did you get this stuff?’
He shrugs as he hands me my compact and then sits down on the bed. ‘I borrowed it from Violet.’
I click open the compact and set it on the desk. ‘Did you ask or just take it?’
‘I told her what it was for,’ he says, motioning at me to get a move on. ‘Now would you hurry your beautiful ass up? We’re going to be late.’
I lean over and begin to apply the liner. ‘Violet really didn’t mind that it was for me, then?’
‘No, it was the least she could do after you helped her with kickboxing and costume shopping today,’ he says as I apply the lipstick.
I rub my lips together as I put the cap on. ‘She doesn’t owe me anything, Seth. I was glad to help her.’
‘I know, but she didn’t mind. Besides, I think, even though she won’t admit it, she likes having friends.’
‘Yeah, maybe.’ Although, I think there’s way more to it than that. When I first met Violet, I thought she was mean. And honestly, I was under the impression that she might have been a prostitute. But now, after getting to know her and seeing the stuff on the news about her parents’ deaths, I think Violet has even more problems than I do.
I hand Seth back the makeup then slip my jacket on, wishing Kayden could have rode with me instead of meeting us there, but I understand he’s busy with practice and stuff.
Seth must sense some sort of weird vibe from me because he links his arm through mine and tugs me out the door. It’s pretty quiet on the elevator ride down, but once we reach the bottom, all bets are off.
‘So this is how the youngins celebrate Halloween, huh?’ I ask, my eyes wide as I take in the lounge area packed with people dressed up in so many different types of costume it’s madness I tell you. Everything from ghosts to slutty nurses to some sort of strange-looking zucchini costumes is present. There’s music playing and people are chatting and laughing, and some are even running around and screaming as they drink from plastic cups I’m sure aren’t filled with punch. Where their RA is, I have no clue, but I’m guessing nowhere within a mile radius since I’m pretty sure the noise can be heard from that far.
‘Wait until we get to the concert,’ Seth promises, noting my shocked stare.
‘I’ve never been to a concert,’ I admit as we turn for the exit and step outside into the frigid breeze. The ground is frozen, making the heeled boots I’m wearing a little complicated to walk in. The sun has set; the moon and stars are bright in the sky and twinkling right along with all the orange, black, and purple lights around the area.
‘I know you haven’t.’ Seth steers us to the grass covered by a thin layer of snow and we start to make our way to the parking lot. ‘I promise you’re going to love it, though. In fact, I think …’ He trails off at the sight of a figure crossing the grass toward us. It takes me a moment or two longer to realize who it is.
‘Hey, what are you doing there?’ I ask, releasing Seth’s arm and meeting Kayden halfway. ‘I thought you had practice.’
He doesn’t answer until he reaches me. ‘I know. I left early … I wanted to pick you up.’ He tugs at the bottom of his sleeves, seeming both nervous and excited.
I throw my arms around him and hug him tightly. ‘You didn’t have to do that.’
He looks amazing tonight in his black and grey plaid shirt that’s unbuttoned enough so I can see the black T-shirt he’s wearing that shows off his muscular abs. It’s topped off with a leather jacket, black jeans, and boots, his brown hair just the slightest bit messy in the sexiest way possible. Not really a Halloween costume, but totally not his norm and makes him even more ridiculously better looking than he already is.
‘I know I didn’t.’ He kisses my temple then pulls back to look me in the eye. ‘But I wanted to.’ He opens his mouth to say something else, but then his gaze drifts down my attire. I’m still holding the jacket, even though it’s freezing, so he gets the full view of me.
‘Holy shit,’ he breathes, his arms falling to his sides. He scratches at his wrist, eyes drinking me in. ‘You look—’
‘Don’t say hot,’ Seth warns, strolling up to us. ‘She seems to take that a bit offensively.’
The corners of Kayden’s mouth quirk. ‘I was actually going to say beautiful.’
‘Lair,’ Seth coughs, but then grins.
Repressing a smile, Kayden lifts one of his arms toward me. The first thing I notice is that there’s something sticking out of the sleeve of his shirt … a piece of gauze maybe. But then my eyes travel to what’s in his hand. A rose with a short, bare stem. He takes it and tucks it in my hair beside my ear, making me feel pretty. I’ve never been a fan of looking this way. That is, until now. But I think that has more to do with the way Kayden is looking at me, with this lustful, burning desire.
Screw prom.
This is so, so much better.
I’m about to tell him how much I love him when my attention darts to a pale figure running across the grass, yelling, ‘WOO HOO! Halloween fucking rocks!’
He looks familiar and I squint to get a better look at what’s going on. ‘Wait. Is he …?’ I trail off when I realize the reason why the figure is so pale. ‘He’s naked!’
Kayden’s eyes widen as he tracks my gaze then he places a hand over my eyes. ‘What the hell is it with streakers and Halloween? I swear I see at least one a year.’
Seth chuckles. ‘It’s the freedom in the air, to be whoever you want to be.’
‘I’m pretty sure he’s in my English class,’ I say. ‘And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look him in the eye again.’
‘Why?’ Seth asks. ‘You’re not the one who was seen in a very unflattering outfit. You should hold your head up high, baby girl.’
‘I know, but every time I look at him, I’ll picture his …’ I bite down on my lip, unable to finish the sentence, let alone get the picture of what I just witnessed.
This time Kayden laughs and he lowers his hand from my eyes. ‘You’re so adorable.’ Then he kisses me and I don’t feel shy or ashamed. Adorable I can handle. Kayden kissing me I can handle. Seeing more naked people tonight, I’m not so sure.
The night is turning out to be amazing. The atmosphere is electric, the decor is vibrant in the most eerie way possible, and the rock combined orchestra music the band is playing is hau
ntingly poetic to the point that it gives me chills. Violet calls it Symphonic Rock.
We’ve been dancing for a while – Seth, Greyson, Violet, and me. Kayden and Luke are hanging out at the table. Luke seems distracted by something and Kayden keeps getting texts from someone, so they’re both living in their own world. It makes me a little sad that Kayden’s not out here with me, but I don’t have time to wallow when Violet decides she’s going to teach me to dance per Seth’s suggestion.
‘There’s no way I can dance like her,’ I tell the both of them, not because I’m afraid, but because I really don’t think I can. Violet dances like a mix between a ballerina and one of those rocker chicks that can head bang in the most elegant way ever. She seriously looks like she belongs on stage with a microphone in her hand, a band of guitars and violins playing in the background.
‘Sure you can,’ Violet says with an encouraging smile that looks foreign on her because she hardly ever smiles. She seems in a good mood tonight, though, so I decide to play along and follow her lead.
‘No, move your hips,’ she instructs, putting her hand on my waist and guiding me to the rhythm. I’m not one for my personal space getting invaded, but I shake it off since we’re standing in the center of a crammed crowd anyway, and try to do what she says. ‘Let the music own you. Don’t overthink it.’
‘And dance like you mean it!’ Seth shouts over the music as he raises his hands in the air.
I take a deep inhale and try to do what they both said, but I’ve never been one for dancing.
‘You’re overthinking it,’ Seth tells me, his eyes wandering over my shoulders. ‘And now you have the perfect distraction.’ My brows furrow as he mouths, Dance like it’s your prom.
All I can picture when he says it is what I’ve seen on movies. Bad music and decorations while people way too overdressed rock back and forth with their hands on each other or do some sort of silly dance off. But then Kayden comes up to me, takes my hand, and spins me around, causing laughter to erupt from my lips.