I blinked. Neferet thought I might have an affinity for cats! “No, I—I don’t hear her in my head. But she does complain at me a lot. And I wouldn’t know about whether or not I know where she is when she’s not with me. She’s always with me.”
“She is delightful.” Neferet crooked a finger at Nala and said, “Come to me, child.”
Instantly, Nala padded over and jumped up on Neferet’s desk, scattering papers everywhere.
“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry, Neferet.” I grabbed for Nala, but Neferet waved me away. She scratched Nala’s head, and the cat closed her eyes and purred.
“Cats are always welcome, and papers are easily reorganized. Now, what is it you really wanted to speak with me about, Zoeybird?”
Her use of my grandma’s nickname for me made my heart hurt, and I suddenly missed her with an intensity that had me blinking tears from my eyes.
“Are you missing your old home?” Neferet asked softly.
“No, not really. Well, except for Grandma, but I’ve been so busy that I guess I just now realized it,” I said guiltily.
“You don’t miss your mother and father.”
It wasn’t like she’d said it as a question, but I felt that I needed to answer her. “No. Well, I don’t really have a dad. He left us when I was little. My mom remarried three years ago and, well . . .”
“You can tell me. I give you my word that I will understand,” Neferet said.
“I hate him!” I said with more anger than I’d expected to feel. “Since he joined our family”—I said the word sarcastically—“nothing has been right. My mom totally changed. It’s like she can’t be his wife and my mother anymore. It hasn’t been my home for a long time.”
“My mother died when I was ten years old. My father did not remarry. Instead, he began to use me as his wife. From the time I was ten until Nyx saved me by Marking me when I was fifteen, he abused me.” Neferet paused and let the shock of what she was saying settle into me before she continued. “So you see, when I say that I understand what it is to have your home become an unbearable place I am not just spouting platitudes.”
“That’s awful.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“It was then. Now it is simply another memory. Zoey, humans in your past, and even in your present and future, will become less and less important to you until, eventually, you will feel very little for them. You’ll understand this more as you continue to Change.”
There was a cold flatness to her voice that made me feel odd, and I heard myself saying, “I don’t want to stop caring about my grandma.”
“Of course you don’t.” She was back to being warm and caring again. “It’s only nine P.M., why don’t you call her? You can be late to Drama class; I’ll let Professor Nolan know that you are excused.”
“Thank you, I’d like that. But it’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.” I took a deep breath. “I drank blood last night.”
Neferet nodded. “Yes, the Dark Daughters often mix fledgling blood with their ritual wine. It’s something the young like to do. Did it upset you greatly, Zoey?”
“Well, I didn’t know about it until afterward. Then, yes, it did upset me.”
Neferet frowned. “It wasn’t ethical of Aphrodite not to tell you before. You should have had a choice about partaking. I’ll speak with her.”
“No!” I said a little too quickly, and then I forced myself to sound calmer. “No, there’s really no need. I’ll take care of it. I’ve decided to join the Dark Daughters, so I don’t want to start off by looking like I set out to get Aphrodite in trouble.”
“You’re probably right. Aphrodite can be rather temperamental, and I trust that you can take care of it yourself, Zoey. We do like to encourage fledglings to solve the problems they have with each other among themselves whenever possible.” She studied me, concern obvious in her face. “It’s normal for the first few tastes of blood to be less than appetizing. You’d know that if you had been with us longer.”
“It’s not that. It—it tasted really good. Erik told me that mine was an unusual reaction.”
Neferet’s perfect brows shot up. “It is, indeed. Did you also feel dizzy or exhilarated?”
“Both,” I said softly.
Neferet glanced at my Mark. “You are unique, Zoey Redbird. Well, I think it would be best to pull you out of this section of Sociology, and move you into a Sociology 415.
“I’d really rather you didn’t do that,” I said quickly. “I already feel like enough of a freak with everyone staring at my Mark and watching to see if I’ll do something weird. If you move me into a class with kids who have been here for three years, they’ll really think I’m bizarre.”
Neferet hesitated, scratching Nala’s head while she considered. “I understand what you mean, Zoey. I haven’t been a teenager for over one hundred years, but vampyres have long, accurate memories, and I do recall what it was like to go through the Change.” She sighed. “Okay, how about a compromise? I’ll allow you to stay in the third former Soc class, but I want to give you the text we use in the upper-level class, and have you agree to read a chapter a week, and promise that you’ll discuss any questions you have with me.”
“Deal,” I said.
“You know, Zoey, as you Change, you literally are becoming an entirely new being. A vampyre is not a human, although we are humane. It may sound reprehensible to you now, but your desire for blood is as normal for your new life as your desire for”—she paused and smiled—“brown pop has been in your old life.”
“Jeesh! Do you know everything?”
“Nyx has gifted me generously. Besides my affinity for our lovely felines and my abilities as a healer, I am also an intuitive.”
“You can read my mind?” I asked nervously.
“Not exactly. But I can pick up bits and pieces of things. For instance, I know that there’s something else you need to tell me about last night.”
I drew a deep breath. “I was upset after I found out about the blood, so I ran out of the rec hall. That’s how I found Nala. She was in a tree that was real close to the school’s wall. I thought she was stuck up there, so I climbed up on the wall to get her and, well, while I was talking to her two kids from my old school found me.”
“What happened?” Neferet’s hand had stilled; she was no longer petting Nala, and I had all of her attention.
“It wasn’t good. They—they were wasted, high and drunk.” Okay, I hadn’t meant to blurt that!
“Did they try to hurt you?”
“No, nothing like that. It was my ex-best friend and my almost-ex-boyfriend.”
Neferet raised her brow at me again.
“Well, I’d quit going out with him, but he and I still had a thing for each other.”
She nodded as though she understood. “Go on.”
“Kayla and I kinda fought. She sees me differently now and I guess I see her differently, too. Neither one of us likes the new view.” As I said it I realized it was true. It wasn’t that K had changed—actually, she’d been exactly the same. It was just that the little things I used to ignore, like her nonsensical babble and her mean side, were now suddenly too irritating to deal with. “Anyway, she left and I was alone with Heath.” I stopped there, not sure how to say the rest of it.
Neferet’s eyes narrowed. “You experienced bloodlust for him.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Did you drink his blood, Zoey?” Her voice was sharp.
“I just tasted a drop of it. I’d scratched him. I hadn’t meant to, but when I heard his pulse pounding it—it made me scratch him.”
“So you didn’t actually drink from the wound?”
“I started to, but Kayla came back and interrupted us. She totally freaked, and that’s how I finally got Heath to leave.”
“He didn’t want to?”
I shook my head. “No. He didn’t want to.” I felt like I was going to cry again. “Neferet, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know what I w
as doing until Kayla screamed.”
“Of course you didn’t realize what was happening. How could a newly Marked fledgling be expected to know about bloodlust?” She touched my arm in a reassuring, mom-like gesture. “You probably didn’t Imprint with him.”
“Imprint?”
“It’s what often happens when vampyres drink directly from humans, especially if there is a bond that has been established between them prior to the blood-letting. This is why it is forbidden for fledglings to drink the blood of humans. Actually, it’s strongly discouraged for adult vampyres to feed from humans, too. There’s an entire sect of vampyres who consider it morally wrong and would like to make it illegal,” she said.
I watched her eyes darken as she talked. The expression in them suddenly made me very nervous and I shivered. Then Neferet blinked and her eyes changed back to normal. Or had I just imagined their weird darkness?
“But that’s a discussion best left for my sixth form sociology class.”
“What do I do about Heath?”
“Nothing. Let me know if he tries to see you again. If he calls you, don’t answer. If he began Imprinting even the sound of your voice will effect him and work as a lure to draw him to you.”
“It sounds like something out of Dracula,” I muttered.
“It’s nothing like that wretched book!” she snapped. “Stoker vilified vampyres, which has caused our kind endless petty troubles with humans.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
She waved her hand dismissively. “No, I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration about that old fool’s book on you. And don’t worry about your friend Heath. I’m sure he’ll be fine. You said that he was smoking and drinking? I assume you mean marijuana?”
I nodded. “But I don’t smoke,” I added. “Actually, he didn’t used to and neither did Kayla. I don’t get what’s happening to them. I think they’re hanging with some of those druggie football players from Union, and none of them have enough sense to just say no.”
“Well, his reaction to you might have had more to do with his level of intoxication than a possible Imprint.” She paused, pulling a scratch pad out of her desk drawer, and handing me a pencil. “But just in case, why don’t you write down your friends’ full names and where they live. Oh, and add the names of the Union football players, too, if you know them.”
“Why would you need all of their names?” I felt my heart fall into my shoes. “You’re not going to call their parents, are you?”
Neferet laughed. “Of course not. The misbehavior of human teenagers is no concern of mine. I only ask so that I can focus my thoughts on the group and perhaps pick up any vestiges of a possible Imprint among them.”
“What happens if you do? What happens to Heath?”
“He’s young and the Imprint will be weak, so time and distance should make it fade eventually. If he actually Imprinted in full, there are ways to break it.” I was about to say that maybe she should just go ahead and do whatever she did to break an Imprinting when she continued. “None of the ways are pleasant.”
“Oh, okay.”
I wrote the names and addresses for Kayla and Heath. I didn’t have a clue where the Union guys lived, but I did remember their names. Neferet got up and went to the back of the classroom to retrieve a thick textbook whose title in silver letters read Sociology 415.
“Begin with Chapter One and work your way through this entire book. Until you’ve finished it, let’s consider it your homework instead of the work I assign to the rest of the Soc 101 class.”
I took the book. It was heavy and the cover felt cool in my hot, nervous grip.
“If you have any questions, any at all, come see me right away. If I’m not here you can come to my apartment in Nyx’s Temple. Go in the front door and follow the stairs on your right. I am the only priestess at the school right now, so the entire second floor belongs to me. And don’t worry about disturbing me. You’re my fledgling—it’s your job to disturb me,” she said with a warm smile.
“Thank you, Neferet.”
“Try not to worry. Nyx has touched you and the goddess cares for her own.” She hugged me. “Now, I’m going to go tell Professor Nolan what’s been keeping you. Go ahead and use the phone at my desk to call your grandma.” She hugged me again and then closed the classroom door gently behind her as she left.
I sat down at her desk and thought about how great she was, and how long it’d been since my mom had hugged me like that. And for some reason, I started to cry.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Hi Grandma, it’s me.”
“Oh! My Zoeybird! Are you okay, honey?”
I smiled into the phone and wiped my eyes. “I’m good, Grandma. I just miss you.”
“Little bird, I miss you, too.” She paused and then said, “Has your mom called you?”
“No.”
Grandma sighed. “Well, honey, maybe she doesn’t want to bother you while you’re settling into your new life. I did tell her that Neferet had explained to me that your days and nights will be flip-flopped.”
“Thanks, Grandma, but I don’t think that’s why she hasn’t called me.”
“Maybe she has tried and you just missed her call. I called your cell yesterday, but I only got your voicemail.”
I felt a twinge of guilt. I hadn’t even checked my phone for messages. “I forgot to plug my cell phone in. It’s back in the room. Sorry I missed your call, Grandma.” Then, to make her feel better (and to get her to quit talking about it), I said, “I’ll check my phone when I get back to my room. Maybe Mom did call.”
“Maybe she did, honey. So, tell me, how is it there?”
“It’s good. I mean, there are a lot of things I like about it. My classes are cool. Hey, Grandma, I’m even taking fencing and an equestrian class.”
“That’s wonderful! I remember how much you liked to ride Bunny.”
“And I got a cat!”
“Oh, Zoeybird, I’m so glad. You’ve always loved cats. Are you making friends with the other kids?”
“Yeah, my roommate, Stevie Rae, is great. And I already like her friends, too.”
“So, if everything is going so well, why the tears?”
I should have known I couldn’t hide anything from my grandma. “It’s just . . . just that some of the things about the Change are really hard to deal with.”
“You’re well, aren’t you?” Worry was thick in her voice. “Is your head okay?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing like that. It’s—” I stopped. I wanted to tell her; I wanted to tell her so bad I could explode, but I didn’t know how. And I was afraid—afraid she wouldn’t love me anymore. I mean, Mom had quit loving me, hadn’t she? Or, at the very least, Mom had traded me in for a new husband, which in some ways was worse than quitting loving me. What would I do if Grandma walked away from me, too?
“Zoeybird, you know you can tell me anything,” she said gently.
“It’s hard, Grandma.” I bit my lip to keep from crying.
“Then let me make it easier. There is nothing you could say that would make me stop loving you. I’m your Grandma today, tomorrow, and next year. I’ll be your Grandma even after I join our ancestors in the spirit world, and from there I’ll still love you, Little Bird.”
“I drank blood and I liked it!” I blurted.
Without any hesitation, Grandma said, “Well, honey, isn’t that what vampyres do?”
“Yeah, but I’m not a vampyre. I’m just a few-days-old fledgling.”
“You’re special, Zoey. You always have been. Why should that change now?”
“I don’t feel special. I feel like a freak.”
“Then remember something. You’re still you. Doesn’t matter that you’ve been Marked. Doesn’t matter that you’re going through the Change. Inside, your spirit is still your spirit. On the outside you might look like a familiar stranger, but you need only look inside to find the you you’ve known for sixteen years.”
“The
familiar stranger . . . ,” I whispered. “How did you know?”
“You’re my girl, Honey. You’re daughter of my spirit. It’s not hard to understand what you must be feeling—it’s very much like what I imagine I’d be feeling.”
“Thank you, Grandma.”
“You are welcome, U-we-tsi a-ge-hu-tsa.”
I smiled, loving how the Cherokee word for daughter sounded—so magical and special, like it was a Goddess-given title. Goddess-given . . .
“Grandma, there’s something else.”
“Tell me, Little Bird.”
“I think I feel the five elements when a circle is cast.”
“If that is the truth, you have been given great power, Zoey. And you know that with great power comes great responsibility. Our family has a rich history of Tribal Elders, Medicine Men, and Wise Women. Have a care, Little Bird, to think before you act. The Goddess would not have granted you special powers on a whim. Use them carefully, and make Nyx, as well as your ancestors, look down and smile on you.”
“I’ll try my best, Grandma.”
“That’s all I would ever ask of you, Zoeybird.”
“There’s a girl here who also has special powers, too, but she’s awful. She’s a bully and she lies. Grandma, I think . . . I think . . .” I took a deep breath and said what had been brewing in my mind all morning. “I think I’m stronger than she is and I think that maybe Nyx Marked me so that I can get her out of the position she’s in. But—but that would mean that I have to take her place, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that, not now. Maybe not ever.”
“Follow what your spirit tells you, Zoeybird.” She hesitated, then said, “Honey, do you remember the purification prayer of our people?”
I thought about it. I couldn’t count the times I’d gone with her to the little stream behind Grandma’s house and watched her bathe ritualistically in the running water and speak the purification prayer. Sometimes I stepped into the stream with her and said the prayer, too. The prayer had been entwined throughout my childhood, spoken at the change of seasons, in thanks for the lavender harvest, or in preparation for the coming winter, as well as whenever Grandma was faced with hard decisions. Sometimes I didn’t know why she purified herself and spoke the prayer. It simply had always been.