"I am sorry, Alec. The time sped away."
"I thought I'd been stood up." He smiled and kissed her cheek before Sophie tucked her arm in his as they went around the house to the van.
They were headed out to dinner-just the two of them. It had been several weeks since they had had some time alone, and they knew they had to take the time when they could. They were still talking about the marriage book and discovering new things about one another every week.
"Mrs. Kent wanted to know if we were going to have any children," Sophie spoke softly once she'd buckled her seat belt.
"Children?" Alec turned to her. "Does she think we're married?"
"No, she just said that these days young people had children anyway."
"Were you embarrassed?"
"A little, but I told her I thought it was wrong because it is against God's Word. I do not know if she really understood."
"We've never talked about children, Sophie. Do you hope to have your own children someday?"
"You mean, from my womb?"
"Yes."
Sophie stared out the front windshield. "My great-grandmother was never married. My grandfather was the product of a
373
rape, but then when he grew up and married my grandmother, there was only one child-my mother. They never took precaution, but there was still only one child. And then with my parents it was the same. They never used birth control, but only I was conceived.
"My grandmother has warned me from early on that I should not expect to be overly fertile. I guess for this reason I love children. I do not block out the truth, but neither do I dwell on the facts. I probably will never mother children of my own. I would like to, but I must accept who I am and how God made me.
Sophie now turned back to Alec. His look was caring, but not embarrassed by all she had revealed, and her heart swelled with love.
Alec was once again amazed at her.Iwould love to have children with this woman, Lord. I'm almost 40, but I would love to make love to Sophie and see her grow with our baby. Thank You that she has accepted this. Thank You that she always teaches me so much.
"I'm glad you told me, Sophie. Have you ever wrestled with it, or has it always been an established fact?"
"When I hear of people who abuse their children, I wrestle. I say to God, 'Why can't Sophie have a child? She would take care of her baby.' But then God reminds me that He is better at His job than Sophie, and I must be calm."
Alec had still not moved away from the curb. He reached for Sophie's face, and with the backs of his fingers tenderly stroked her cheek. Sophie's smile was loving, and Alec had to force his eyes away. He put the van into gear and pulled into traffic. It was the start of a wonderful evening.
***
Rita's suggestion that the family go to Chicago seemed like years ago, but the day they planned to leave was now on top of them. Sophie looked at the clock for the tenth time, knowing that Alec and the kids would be home any moment. Everyone's things were packed-that had been seen to the night before- and Sophie had spent the day spiffing up the house and making a dinner to be eaten on the road. The plan was to be in Chicago in time to attend a special Thanksgiving Eve service with the Rings. Sophie was looking forward to this as much as Thanksgiving itself. She had made a Jello salad, some cinnamon bread, and
374
dozens of cookies to take along, and now all she had to do was wait. In the process, questions ran through her mind.What was David's family like? How many were there? Would she be sharing a room? And last of all, why hadn't she asked anyone about this before?
Sophie felt her palms grow moist and knew she was becoming anxious. Why was she worried? She knew Janet and David; they loved her. With that thought, she laughed at herself. It was going to be a great weekend. Why would she think otherwise? Although ... Something still niggled in the back of her mind. She had the sudden sense that it might be more than great. It might be life-changing. Sophie didn't know where this thought came from or what to do with it.
The van had pulled up, and right on its bumper was Alec's truck. What timing! Sophie smiled. It was going to be a wonderful weekend. Yes, indeed.
"Oh, Sophie," Janet cried with delight as she put her arms around the younger woman. The women embraced for a long time before David claimed Sophie. Janet moved on, as had the others, so David was able to have a private moment with Sophie.
"How are you?"
"I am fine. How are you, David?"
"I'm doing well. Are you still putting up with that brother-in- law of mine?"
Sophie's eyes shone. "Oh, David," she whispered, "I like him so much."
David's eyes twinkled. "Well, we're glad, Sophie," his voice teased, "because Janet and I can see how homely he is, and we know that no one else would have him."
Laughter bubbled out of Sophie's throat, and Alec joined them. The men shook hands.
"Is David assassinating my character?" He had slipped his arm around Sophie's shoulders.
"No," David answered for her, laughter in his voice. "I was just thanking her for putting up with you since, homely as you are, no one else will."
"We're going to be late for the service," Janet said as she breezed through. "Bethany, your coat is still lying in the hall."
And with that they loaded into the vans and headed to the church where the Rings were members and regular attenders.
375
The Rileys had not even taken time to change, but it didn't matter. It was an informal time of praise-a service of open hearts and thanksgiving. Sophie cried through many of the testimonies as person after person went to the microphone and shared. What a year it had been! There was so much over which to give thanks.
By the end Sophie thought she was cried out, but she was wrong. Rita came to Sophie as soon as the pastor ended with prayer, tears in her lovely eyes.
"I couldn't get up," she whispered close to Sophie's face. "I wanted to tell everyone how I feel, but I couldn't, so I'm going to tell you. I thank God for you, Sophie. I thank God that you came into our lives and that you love us. That's what I would have said, Sophie, and I wanted you to know."
Tears spilled over as Sophie put her arms around Rita. They hugged for a long time, both crying and squeezing each other tightly.
"Oh, my Rita," Sophie finally gasped. "You are so precious to me."
"I love you, Sophie," Rita said into her ear, and after a moment they stood apart to laugh at each other's tearstained, red-nosed faces.
"Your eyes are on your cheeks," Sophie told Rita, referring to her mascara.
Rita laughed and searched for a tissue, and then Sophie noticed Craig. He was a little ways off and, with a final hand to Rita's arm, Sophie moved toward him.
"Do tears make you discomfort, Craig?" she asked immediately.
"Sometimes."
"Now?"
He shook his head, and Sophie reached with gentle fingers to brush the hair from his forehead.
"I don't want you to go away," he told her, and Sophie looked into his eyes. "The other day, I think it was Monday, I walked out to the van with Rick. Do you remember?"
"Yes."
"Well, he couldn't see who was behind the wheel and asked me who it was. Before I would have said it's our housekeeper or Sophie, but this time I said it's my Dad's girlfriend." Craig laughed self-consciously. "It felt sorta funny, but then Rick asked, 'Is she nice?' And I said, 'It's Sophie, Rick, and she's the
376
same as she's always been.' And right then I thought about how true it was." Tears came to his eyes now.
"You've always been nice, Sophie. You've always been there, just doing your job and taking care of us even when we didn't even say thanks. I am thankful to God, Sophie, but I'm also thankful to you."
Sophie hugged him then and stepped back, telling herself not to blubber all over him. It took an effort.
"You are so close in Sophie's heart, Craig, and you have been for a very long time. I will not make promises I cannot keep, but as l
ong as I am able, I will be here for you."
Craig hugged her. He was almost as tall as she was, and Sophie sighed when he wrapped his long arms around her.This is my boy,she told God.This is the son of my heart. Alec asked if I would want children. I think I can say no, I have children-children of the heart.
The church was emptying then, and Sophie was very mindful of the individuals who must have planned the service and worked to make it happen. They would want to head home now and not wait to dim the lights. But much as she'd done in Florida, Sophie lingered a moment in the sanctuary. She loved the house of the Lord and loved His people. And as the children had already voiced on this night, she had so very much for which to be thankful.
377
Gilbert Ring is David's brother, and his wife is Gail. Theygo with Russ, Selia, and Christopher. Bonnie Lambert is David's sister and she is with Hank, and they have only Hannah who is Rita's age. Paul Ring is the oldest, and he is divorced, but he's here with his daughter, Melissa, her husband, Tom, and their baby girl, Jade. Mr. Ring is Kevin and Mrs. Ring is Else. And there are more who are not here, so I won't try to keep track of them.
Sophie had been at this mental torture for an hour, and still wasn't sure if she had it right. She had not used anyone's name in conversation for fear of using the wrong one. Rita had been so excited to see and be with David's extended family, but Sophie neverdreamedthere would be so many people. Only Gilbert and his family were actually staying at the house with them, so it wasn't crowded all of the time, but the meal at noon had been unlike anything Sophie had ever known. Janet had taken it all in stride, but Sophie was still in shock that 24 people had found places to sit.
She had looked at the food before everyone had arrived and thought they would be eating turkey for weeks, but now the huge roasted bird was nothing but a bony carcass. Her salad had looked huge, but the bowl was empty. Sophie wanted to laugh when she thought about celebrations in Czechoslovakia- Christmas, birthdays, whatever. It would have been her grandmother and maybe Eduard, and that was it.
"It's snowing!" Sophie heard someone shout as they barreled down the stairs. Almost everyone moved to the window. It had been threatening for most of the day and was now falling from the sky in huge flakes. They had all brought their snow boots and other gear, and Sophie could hear Tory, Bethany, and Selia making plans on the spot. Sophie had not moved to the window, and Alec suddenly landed on the sofa beside her.
"How are you?" he asked in a low voice.
"I am all right," she told him softly.
378
"A little overwhelmed?"
Sophie smiled and nodded. "I am having a good time, Alec. I just did not expect so many."
He put his arm around her, and Sophie let herself relax against his side. It was snowing hard now, but a fire was blazing in the fireplace, and Alec was warm against her. He was leaning toward her ear now, about to say something, when the kids burst in wanting to use the VCR. The noise they made was enough to discourage all conversation, and Alec promised, "After today it will be quieter, when people clear out a little bit."
However, it didn't turn out that way. Thanksgiving Day the noise went on strong until late in the evening, and then everyone was back on Friday; it was another mob scene from mid-morning to late evening. Sophie was sharing a room with Rita and Hannah, so she really had no place to which she could escape. When everyone came once again on Saturday, this time for a sledding party, Sophie was at her limit. Nearly all the sledders begged her to come, but Sophie was gently adamant. Alec, who would have loved time alone with her, made himself leave with the others. He could see in her face that she needed time alone.
Sophie stood for long minutes after they left and reveled in the silence. Janet, who had also seen that Sophie needed some space, made a point of telling her to help herself in the kitchen. But Sophie wasn't hungry for food, only solitude. She walked to the edge of the living room and simply stood there and stared. It had been two years since she had touched a piano. Would she remember how to play? Sophie knew only one way to find out.
With legs that wobbled just a little, she moved to the bench and sat down. She fingered the keys with light pressure and then pressed down. Her eyes closed with pleasure as she played a lullaby, one she had learned as a child, and in the process time fell away. There were books on the stand, and Sophie played through one of them. She pounded the keys at some points, and also played as gently as one tickling a baby. She was intently watching her fingers and playing Claude Debussy's "Clair du Lune" when Alec returned. He was alone and entered the house silently, only to stand and listen in amazement.
Sophie had told him she liked to play, but he hadn't understood that she really knew how. She wasn't Beethoven, butshe played beautifully. He stood at the entryway to the living room for long minutes, his boots dripping on the vinyl, before Sophie noticed him. The smile she threw his way was beaming, and Alec
379
moved to the back hall to divest himself of his outer garments. He then slipped back into the living room, sat in a chair that allowed him to see Sophie's face, and just enjoyed. She moved from one song to the next, even hitting an occasional wrong note, but Alec barely noticed.
All he could see was the mixture of delight and determination on her face. Alec was as rapt with her response to the music as he was with the woman herself. Tears nearly came to his
eyes when she played "Amazing Grace," soft and slow, her eyes closed, head tilted back as her lips silently mouthed the words.
It was her last song. She lifted her hands from the keys and gave a great sigh. When she opened her eyes and smiled serenely at Alec, he moved to join her on the piano bench. Sophie's legs were still under the keyboard, but Alec's were out, right shoulder to right shoulder, faces close. They looked at one another, and for a short time neither spoke. Sophie knew he was surprised and was certain he was going to tell her she played well, but she was to be surprised.
"I love you, Sophie," Alec whispered, and Sophie's heart melted inside her. Her eyes, already loving, turned perceptibly warmer as she whispered back, "Oh, my Alec."
Alec's hands came up to gently cup her face. He kissed her for the first time since the Fourth of July-a kiss so tender that Sophie's lids fluttered downward and sensation flooded through her. When his arms came around her she did not know, but she kissed him back, her heart bursting inside her.
When her eyes finally opened, she found herself fully supported in his arms. Alec looked down into her face and liked what he saw. Her mouth was gently smiling, and her eyes were dreamy with wonder.
"I liked that," she told him, and a smile broke over Alec's mouth.
"I liked it, too."
Sophie then frowned almost playfully. "I think I could like it too much."
Again Alec grinned. "In other words, I'm going to have to make an honest woman of you."
Sophie cocked her head to one side. "You think I am not honest?"
"No, I didn't mean that." Alec felt terrible. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Someday I'll explain it to you."
Sophie frowned in earnest. "I want to know now."
380
Alec sighed, but his hold was still just as gentle. "It's an old phrase that refers to when a man gets a woman pregnant-one who is not his wife. It was said that he had to marry her to make an honest woman out of her."
Sophie sat up straight and took herself out of Alec's embrace. She looked out over the top of the piano, very aware of Alec's eyes on her profile. She wanted to be indignant, but in a way he had very nicely put his finger on her words' exact meaning.
"I guess in a way I did mean that. I do enjoy your kisses, Alec, but I must be careful that I do not go beyond the bounds of obedience to my God. We are not married, and since I cannot see the future, I do not know if we will be. That is what I meant."
"Are you upset that I kissed you?"
She finally looked at him. "No, but I am an affectionate person, and I must keep my guard handy."
&nb
sp; "That goes both ways, I can assure you, Sophie. You're a very desirable woman, but now let me ask you this: Will my kisses be welcome again?"
Sophie nodded immediately. "As long as we are careful."
Alec nodded and then mentally kicked himself.Heshould be the one saying all of this, and in the next few seconds he apologized again and explained.
"So you see," he finished, "I feel my place before God is to lead this relationship, and I'm sorry that I made that joke. I'll do my best to honor both of us before God in this relationship."
"Thank you, Alec. Do you think I am not a romantic person?"
Alec blinked. "I've never given it any thought."
"Well, we do not talk like people in love. We talk like we are working on a business deal."
Alec laughed softly. "I think I prefer it this way. I'll be glad to bring you flowers and shower you with compliments, but when it comes to a decision as to whether or not you want to commit your life to another person, let's go ahead and keep the romance to a dull roar."
"What is this dull roar?" The adorable frown was back on her face, and Alec leaned forward to swiftly kiss the corner of her mouth.
"I only meant that it's better to play that down and not have it be the only thing our relationship is built upon."
"Oh." Sophie's eyes began to twinkle. "Dull roars and honest women. Dating you is an education, Alec Riley."
He found this highly amusing, and their talk in the next 15 minutes was very light and fun. After that they were joined by
381
the others who trooped in, frozen and looking for popcorn and hot cocoa. Alec, who had not sledded for very long, and Sophie who had not sledded at all, joined them to hear all about the fun. Not long afterward the remainder of the family cleared out. By supper they were down to the Rileys, the Gilbert Rings, and the host family. Since it was a Saturday night, the kids went off to bed at a decent hour. Only the six adults remained. They talked for hours, and Sophie felt it was a most fitting end to the weekend. They planned to attend services with David and Janet that next morning and then leave for home right after lunch. Sophie thanked God for all the sweet memories.