That night, Pete went to visit his ex-wife, Elizabeth. "The next time it happens," he said to her, "Gary is going to kill me." Elizabeth was tiny and blond and voluptuous and had a fiery disposition and was very wise as far as Pete was concerned for she had kept her happy spirits through a hundred personal disasters. Now she told him to ignore it.
Pete said no. "It's a certainty," he said. "He's going to kill me or somebody else." He told her he was sensitive to Gary's agitation right now. It was part of the equipment God had given Pete to be sensitive. But he also knew that when he got too responsive to things he got a breakdown. He tried not to have them anymore. So he said to Elizabeth, "I want Gary where he won't harm anybody. Jail is where he belongs, and I'm going to press charges."
Next day at work, Gary's mouth was swollen and his face discolored. "What happened?" Spence asked.
"I was drinking beer," Gary said, "and a guy said something didn't like. So I took a swing at him."
"Looks like the guy got the best of it," Spence said.
"Oh, no. You ought to see him."
"Gary, you're on parole," lectured Spencer McGrath. "If you're in a bar and have a fight, they'll throw your tail in jail. When you handle a drink, leave it alone."
Later that morning, Gary came over, "Spence, I thought about it," he said quietly, "and I believe you were telling me for my own good. I'm going to quit drinking."
Spencer agreed. He tried to reinforce the lecture. Suppose he, Spencer McGrath, went into a bar, had a few drinks, got into a fight, and the police came and threw him in jail. He would be in a fix, right? But that would never be nearly as much trouble as if Gilmore got thrown in. That would be a direct violation of parole. Gary asked, "Spence, have you ever been in jail?" "Well, no," said Spence.
Gary was expecting Nicole for lunch but when she did not show up, he sat down next to Craig Taylor, the foreman. They were friendly enough to eat together time to time. It worked out well because Gary liked to converse and Craig never said a word more than he had to, just flexed his big arms and shoulders.
Today, Gary began to speak of prison. Now and again he would go on about that. This may have been one of those days. Gary got around to mentioning that he knew Charles Manson.
Name-dropping, Craig decided, blinking his eyes behind his glasses. They were sipping beer, and Gary was a lot braver, Craig observed, when he had a few beers. "In prison, I killed a guy," said Gary. "He was black and big and I stabbed him 57 times. Then I propped him up on his bunk, crossed his legs, put his baseball cap on his head, and stuck a cigarette in his mouth."
Craig noticed Gary was taking pills. A white downer. Called it Fiorinal. He offered one to Craig, who refused it. Those pills didn't seem to make much difference in Gilmore's personality. He was sure keyed-up.
Nicole came in just as they were done eating. As soon as she and Gary started talking, Craig could see they looked upset. They were squeezing each other's hands, and gave each other a big kiss and said good-bye. The kiss was Gary's way of showing he had a beautiful chick and everybody better know it, so Craig wasn't impressed by that. But the squeezing of hands looked different. Afterward, Gary acted odd all afternoon.
Craig sent him out in a two-ton truck with a kid also named Gary, an 18-year-old, Gary Weston. They were on a job to insulate a house, and had to blow a plastic coat into the walls, then the insulating material. Dry work for the nostrils. Somewhere along, Gary dropped into a store, lifted a six-pack, and began drinking on the job.
Gary Weston didn't say anything. Being 18, he didn't think it was his place.
While they were working along, Gilmore said, "Let's steal the truck."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's come back tonight and steal it. Then we'll paint it and sell it."
Weston didn't want to get him mad. "Well, Gary," he said, "we insulate for the guy who owns the truck. We kind of know him real well."
"Yeah, can't do it to a friend," said Gary, sipping his beer.
When Weston got back, he told a few of the others. They all had a good laugh. Gary had obviously had a couple of beers. You don't steal a truck.
Before leaving work that night, Spencer asked if he had gotten his license. Gary said that Oregon still hadn't sent it over. Something about how they couldn't find the license. The story was one dam thing after another.
Spencer said that since they couldn't locate the old one, Gary ought to sign up for the driver's training course.
Gary said, "That test is for kids. I'm a grown man and it's beneath me."
Spencer tried to get him over this. "The law," he said, "is for everybody. They're not singling you out." He tried to explain. "If I were in some state and didn't have a driver's license, they would make me take it too. Do you think you're better than I am?"
"Excuse me," said Gary at last, "I've got to call Nicole." As he walked off, he said, "Real good advice. Thanks, Spencer, for the good advice." Quick to get away.
The message Nicole had brought at lunchtime was that Mont Court had gone out to their house in Spanish Fork to tell her that Pete was pressing charges of assault and Gary was in a serious situation if they weren't dropped.
Gary told her not to worry, and they gripped each other's hands.
The moment she said good-bye to Gary, however, Nicole did begin to worry. It was as if a doctor had come to the house and said they were going to amputate her legs. What a weird meeting. Mont Court was a big good-looking Mormon, like captain of the swimming team or tennis team, kind of blond and just a little strait-laced. He was embarrassed terribly by her sister April who had been sitting in Nicole's Mustang when he arrived. April must have liked his looks, or maybe it was just too warm—never knew why April was doing something—but she took off her halter, and was sitting with her bare back up against the car window when he came out. Mont Court made a point of walking around the rear of Nicole's car so he wouldn't be caught staring at April's bare breasts through the front window. Nicole would have loved to be able to laugh at it, but she was sick.
She knew Gary's mind. Don't worry. Don't worry 'cause I'm close to killing Pete. She decided she better talk to Galovan herself.
He lived in a grubby little cottage back of Vern's. She tried to tell him that Gary had his problems and was trying to straighten out. She said the last thing that would do anybody any good was to return Gary to prison. All the while, Pete was dressed in an old sweaty T-shirt and dirty pants. He kept telling her a lot of stupid things. Said Gary hit him pretty good.
She tried to keep calm and sensible. She wanted to explain about Gary and not get upset. Pete, she said, the guy has been locked up a long time. It takes a while to get used to being out.
Pete Galovan kept interrupting. He didn't want to hear. Just a big plain old oaf. "The guy is dangerous," Pete said, "he needs help." Then he added, "I've been working hard long hours, and I shouldn't have to take this kind of thing. He treated me badly. I'm now in pain."
She kept working on his sympathy. Pete would understand what she was saying, she said to him. He could see that she loved Gary, and love was the only way to really help a person.
"Love," agreed Pete, "is the only way to bring the spiritual power of God to a situation."
"Yes," said Nicole.
"But this is a tough situation. Your man is far gone. He's a killer, I believe. He wants to kill me."
At that moment, Galovan was looking so bad to her that she said, "If you press charges, he'll be out on bail. He'll get you then."
She didn't take her eyes away. "Pete, even if they lock him up right away, he's still more important to me than my life. He's a hell of a lot more important to me than your life. If he don't get you, I will."
She had never said anything she meant more. She could feel the shock come over Pete as if he was bleeding inside over every part of him, past and present.
In his eighteenth year, Pete saved his money for nine months in order to be a Mormon missionary. At nineteen, he was overseas only four and a half month
s before he had his first nervous breakdown. During that time, however, he brought nine converts into the Church.
That was two a month. The average rate for young missionaries like himself, working in France, was two converts a year.
He got so carried away with his mission that he started having strange religious experiences. He was convinced he could convert President Kennedy who was on his way to France for a state visit. When the Church told Pete they were taking him home, Pete thought it was because they wanted to make him a general authority on conversions. What a letdown when they put him in a hospital, and gave him lithium.
He was soon out and attributed his recovery from all this super-excitement to prayer, but he didn't feel God had treated him fairly with that breakdown. So at the age of 20 he had his first sexual intercourse. He knew full well that a Mormon missionary was not supposed to have sexual involvement before or during a mission, but was bitter against God. Right after, he knew he had committed a wrong act, and went to his bishop, and told him. Pete was chaste for five years. He had a lot of jobs and traveled all over on construction work, but he was chaste.
Later, around 1970, dissatisfied with his life and searchings, he was staying with a friend in Seattle and working as a security guard for Boeing. He happened to be listening one night to a religious station where people dialed in to ask for prayers. Pete didn't know about the program but when he called, he did mention the Mormon Church and his beliefs, and some Mormons happened to hear the show and informed Pete's Branch President who quickly told him not to phone the program anymore. The Church didn't want Galovan to go public. He was not delegated to that kind of work. It hurt Pete's feelings. He was only trying to help people. So he put in a written request to be excommunicated. Didn't want the Mormon Church limiting his desire to aid.
He worked with the Jesus Movement, and lived in the House of Joshua north of Seattle and went on television and spoke out against the Mormon Church. His father was even called by the prophet, Spencer Kimball himself. "What are you going to do with your son?" the prophet asked. His father said, "Leave him alone. It's the work of God. He'll come back stronger than ever."
Pete went over to Hawaii and met Pat Boone, and tried to live in a commune with about twenty-five people and answered the hot line for addicts. He saw suicides and he saw healings. Worked with all kinds of religions. Decided his mission was to help reform the Mormon Church.
But he crashed. They put him in the hospital and gave him group therapy and lithium. He felt the spirit of Elijah in the heart of his body, and knew the world could come to peace. He returned to Utah and got a job as a janitor. Going back to the Church gave energy to all he did. He ended up running the janitorial shop plus a cleaning business, and it got to where he had contracts to clean a number of grocery stores and as many as twenty people were working for him. Out of the strength of his worldly success, however, he fornicated with a number of women, and was disenfranchised. Then he met Elizabeth.
She had managed to live by herself, earn a living and take care of her seven kids. Pete told her, "I'm a big businessman; I can handle it for you." She kept saying, "I don't feel right." It wasn't, she explained, the overwhelming thing you should have. Finally, she agreed to marry him.
There was tension between Pete and the kids. He had a temper, Elizabeth had a temper, the kids had tempers. The cleaning business was done at night, and in the daytime, Pete slept. The kids couldn't make noise. One day, Elizabeth's son Daryl put his fist through the window. One of the kids said, "Mother, that's it. If you stay with him, we'll take off." She had to explain that Peter was paying for the food.
They got married in July of '75. In October, he threw one of the kids across the room. The police got called. The kids were crying, Peter was crying—they separated.
Since the Church had disenfranchised Pete, his business in Ogden had begun to come apart. His customers had been Mormons in good standing and now he lost them, one grocery contract, then another. He came close to having another nervous breakdown.
He went to see Elizabeth, who had moved to Provo, and stayed the night with her. Next day, he moved into the Hotel Roberts around the corner from Vern Damico. Later, he moved over to Vern's basement. He was hired by the Provo School District, got a job, got other jobs, made money enough to help support Elizabeth.
On May 14, 1976, however—the day after Gary met Nicole—Pete and Elizabeth got divorced. They were still friends but she kept saying it wasn't fair. He really wanted to be in love with who would love him, she said, not this circus of working nights and weekends.
Now he sat on the bed of his little cottage room feeling dirty and stale from of sleep and exhausted from the way he needed his sleep. Before him was the face of this girl Nicole who was saying she was ready to kill him if he pressed charges. Pete felt so miserable, he could cry. This girl, who he judged to have a good heart inside and a rough life on the outside, this girl who was humble and wasn't lousy, disliked him so much.
He was also scared. He didn't have time to mess with the problem. Yet it didn't scare him at first as much as it hurt him. He was pricked inside. Nicole loved Gary enough to be willing to commit murder for him. It hurt Pete that no woman had ever loved him that much.
He thought about it, breathing in all the sorrows of these thoughts, and felt sorry for Nicole and touched by her. "Well, relax," he said, "calm down. Maybe the guy deserves another chance." Pete said, "I'll drop the charges."
He got on his knees. "Given your permission," he told her, "I'd like to say a prayer with you."
Nicole said okay.
"It's for you and Gary. You're both going to need it."
He prayed that the Lord have mercy on Nicole and Gary, and bless them, and that Gary get some control of himself. Pete didn't remember all the things he said in the prayer, or even if he held her hand while he prayed. One was not supposed to remember what was said in prayers. It was sacred at the moment, and not really to be repeated.
When Nicole went out the door, there was a calm spirit in the room, and Pete felt happy enough to go over to visit Elizabeth. By the time he got there, however, he was upset all over again. There was horror to feel all over the city of Provo. He sat on the couch, and told what happened with Nicole, and he began to cry. Pete said, "He's a very dangerous man and he's going to kill me." The more upset Pete got, the less Elizabeth would show. She told him to cool it.
Pete told her he was going out and get an insurance policy and put her in as the beneficiary. That made Elizabeth feel terrible. Pete said, "If I can't give you money one way, I'll fix it this way." Then he asked her to marry him. One more time, she said, No.
"I'm dropping the charges," Pete repeated, "I'm not going to press charges." Pause. "Even though I feel I should press them."
Next day Pete went out and got the insurance policy and went over to the Provo Temple and put Gary's name on the list, so people would pray for him.
Chapter 8
THE JOB
Early Sunday morning, lying in bed, Gary asked Nicole to shave her pubic hair. He had been talking about that for the last couple of weeks. Now, she said yes. As she climbed into the tub, she was thinking, "It really means something to him."
He helped. They were using a big pair of scissors, and being careful, and smiling a lot. Nicole felt bashful, but also thought it was the thing to do. She was not so much afraid of cutting the hair off as of what it might look like afterward.
He carried her from the bathtub to the bed and for the second time she had an orgasm with Gary. She knew it had something to do with being a 6-year-old pussy once more. Even as her memory had its quick flash of Uncle Lee, so was Nicole carried over the place where she slammed into the wall and stopped.
That shaved little old tooty certainly made a hellion out of Gary this Sunday morning. Ever since the thing with Pete, he had been adoring her twice as much. It was like he was truly mad about her now.
That night, Laurel came over with her cousins and a friend named Roseb
eth. Once Gary and Nicole came back from their drive, Laurel's duties as a baby-sitter were over, and she went home. But Rosebeth stayed on. She would sigh just looking at Gary. Nicole laughed. Rosebeth was so young and so cute, and had such a crush on Gary. Next night, she came over all by herself, and before Nicole knew it, she invited Rosebeth to give Gary a kiss. Then they all laughed and Nicole gave Gary a kiss. It got to the point where they had their clothes off, and lay around in bed.
You couldn't call it an orgy exactly. Rosebeth remained a virgin. She was ready, however, for anything else. It got sweet. Nicole really liked the idea of giving this gift to Gary.
Over the weekend, they did it more and more. Once, Rosebeth came over in the daytime, and Gary closed the doors and windows. Since the neighbor kids were used to hanging around, you could feel them getting restless outside. God knows what the neighbors heard. It wasn't all that quiet. Nicole began to feel a little paranoid. If it ever came out that Gary was fooling with minors, he could blow his total case. Then it occurred to Nicole that she wasn't in such a good spot either. They might take her children away.
She began to think of Annette. Nicole didn't have any doubt that Gary might have been having a few thoughts when he gave Annette that peck on the cheek. He did love young girls. But Nicole was also sure he would never have done anything, physically speaking. So from Nicole's point of view, Pete was still out of line. Anyway, Nicole didn't feel ready to stop things with Rosebeth.
In fact, she loved the way everything was new to the girl. Sex had never been new to Nicole. How beautiful if she'd been introduced to the subject like Rosebeth. It was exciting to watch Gary make her blossom. Of course, Gary also could get very demanding with the girl and order her to suck him good, stuff like that. It just turned him on the way the girl had this tremendous crush.
Then Nicole had to face another problem. During the week, when Gary was at work, and Rosebeth came over, Nicole still wanted to get it on with her. She wondered if she was moving into that side of sex a little deeper.