But before he could answer, before he could lean in and touch her lips with his, Caleb came running up. “Who are you?”
Reaux turned from her to address the boy. “Reaux.”
“Are you a Pantera?”
“Breathe in through your nose, cub, and you tell me.”
Caleb glanced at Karen and grinned, his eyes so heavy with excitement it made her belly clench. Then, under the blue afternoon bayou sky, her son closed his eyes and inhaled, trying to scent the puma within the male.
“Yes, you are!” he exclaimed.
Reaux smiled. “Very good. Your senses are strong.”
Caleb beamed. “Can you shift?”
“Of course.”
The boy’s face fell. “I can’t. Or I don’t know how. I’ve tried. A few of the Hunters were teaching me, but it didn’t work.” He looked at Karen again and frowned. “Maybe I don’t have a cat inside me.”
He looked so devastated by this idea, Karen’s stomach clenched. She knew he was interested and fascinated by the Pantera. And that he was curious about that part of himself. But until this moment, she hadn’t realized just how deeply he wanted it.
“Caleb—” she began gently. But Reaux interrupted her.
“I didn’t make my first shift until I was around your age. And I’m full Pantera.” He gave the boy a stern look. “It will come to you. Soon. I can tell.”
“Really?” Caleb exclaimed.
Karen looked at the male beside her. Was he being honest? Or just trying to assuage the boy’s feelings.
“It’s very important to be around pumas,” Reaux continued, his focus remaining on Caleb. “They can help awaken your cat.”
Caleb nodded, seeming to grow older in that very moment. “Okay. How about now?”
“Now?” the male repeated.
“Can I be around your puma?”
Reaux laughed. “I like this cub.”
“Oh, Caleb,” Karen began. “Reaux was just stopping by. He’s not staying. Maybe another…”
Her words petered out because as she sat there, and as her enraptured son looked on, Reaux shifted into his cat. Where a second ago, a gorgeous dark-haired male with silver eyes sat beside her on the blanket, now there was a massive puma. Never in her life had she seen anything more beautiful. He was black as night, with streaks of white on his face. And when he turned to look at her, pierced her with silvery gray eyes, bared his teeth in what she was sure was an attempt to smile, her heart leapt into her throat.
My cat.
The thought was fleeting and crazy, and she refused to dissect it.
Reaux was moving away from her. Long, heavy strides and unsettlingly large paws. When he reached Caleb he rubbed his body against him. The boy fell down, and started laughing. The cat growled. Once. Then again.
Caleb looked over at her. “What should I do?”
“I think he wants to take you for a ride.”
Scrambling to his feet, the boy looked like he’d just won the moon and stars. “Is it okay, mama?”
The puma glanced over its powerful shoulder and gave her a nod. But she didn’t need it. Karen knew her boy was safe with Reaux, even in this form.
“Go,” she told him. “I’ll have the food ready when you get back.”
Caleb squealed and climbed aboard.
As she watched the incredible beast race off down the shore with her heart on his broad back, Karen felt something rush from her body. She couldn’t name it, but it was dark and bleak, and had grown happily inside her for years.
***
The puma liked the boy. It brought out the playful cub it once was. For an hour, they ran through the bayou. Following scent trails, digging in the earth. The cat growled at the boy, trying to pull the young puma from him. It was there. Under the surface. It just needed to feel brave. But when the boy’s mother called, a happy, playful sound bouncing off the cypress, the puma growled for the boy to climb on its back and away they went.
Back to the shore.
Back to his mother.
Reaux shifted the moment Caleb was off his back. Laid out before them was a small feast. Sandwiches, fruit, cookies. He watched as Karen settled her boy on the blanket and filled his plate. She asked about their adventures in the woods, and they laughed about the mudburgers being overdone and how they’d have to make do with the sandwiches this time around.
Cubs had been gone from the Wildlands for so long Reaux had forgotten what wonder they brought. Maybe someday he would be fortunate enough to have one. A family. A mate. It would be the greatest gift to watch someone mother her cub as she should. With maternal love, affection and joy and…blind acceptance.
How Karen mothered Caleb.
Besides being a breathtakingly beautiful woman, she was a deeply devoted mother. Even after what she’d been through. There was no anger or resentment placed on Caleb. She deserved happiness. She deserved a real, trustworthy mate who would hold her as she cried, as she released the pain caught inside her.
He snarled at the thought. No—at the vision of her ‘good friend’ Adrian taking on that role.
“What’s wrong, Reaux?”
He glanced over at the picnic spread. Caleb was looking at him, curiously.
“I think he’s hungry,” Karen said. “Come sit down, Reaux. We have plenty.”
Something was happening inside him. Something concerning. Yes, he’d agreed to help her, talk with her—try to show her ways to heal her grief and anger. But he wasn’t stopping there. As he should. He was following her, playing with her son. Thinking about her as he lay in his bed at night. And right now… Right now there was nothing he wanted more than to change back into his cat, sniff out ‘good friend’ Adrian and fight the male until blood was shed.
“I wish I could,” he told them. “But I have to go. I have a session.” Damn right, he did. With himself.
Caleb looked disappointed, but Karen told him to return to his food and then she grabbed a sandwich and stood up. “Here. Take it with you.”
She was too close. Her eyes eating him up. It was as though she were the one carrying the musk on her skin.
“My mama made it,” Caleb called over to him. “Ham and cheese and mustard. She makes the best sandwiches ever.”
Reaux’s eyes caught hers. And held. “Ever?”
She blushed. Between that and her wild, windswept red hair, he was starting to forget his name. Who he was. Who she was to him.
“He’s biased,” Karen said, shaking her head. “Love colors our view, don’t you think? And maybe seasons and sweetens as well.”
“Maybe,” he uttered.
Noting that he seemed preoccupied, she started to ask, “Reaux—”
But he cut her off. He needed to leave before he started to think he belonged here. With them. He feared his puma already felt that way. He glanced at Caleb. “Keep doing those exercises. Keep talking to him.”
“Who?” Karen asked.
“My cat, mama,” Caleb said.
“We can’t be sure there’s a cat inside you, honey,” she reminded him. “We hope so, but—”
“Reaux’s sure,” the boy said, his expression resolute. “Right, Reaux?”
Reaux nodded. “You’re Pantera, cub. I scent it.”
“See,” Caleb said. Then his face broke into a huge grin. “And what about mama, Reaux?”
“What about her?”
“What do you scent about her?”
Karen laughed, though her cheeks remained pink. “Don’t be silly, Caleb. I have no puma inside me. There’s nothing to smell—”
“Sweet mint,” Reaux said.
They both turned to look at him. But it was only Karen’s eyes he wanted in that moment.
“Everyone has a scent,” he continued. “Your mama’s is sweet mint.”
“Is it the sweetest mint ever?” Caleb asked.
“Quite possibly.”
“Maybe you should kiss her and find out.”
“Caleb,” Karen scolded, but her eye
s never left Reaux’s. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said, his tone gruff and heavy with a need he hadn’t felt in…Goddess, he didn’t know how long. “I have to go.”
She nodded. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
“That’s why I came by,” he lied.
“Oh. To make an appointment?”
He nodded, his flesh pulled tight against his muscle and bone. He was going to touch her, kiss her… He had to know how she tasted. “Ten o’clock?”
“I’ll be there.”
Without another word, every inch of him screaming with a fire she had set inside him, he broke from their sweet little gathering and gave himself over to his cat once again.
CHAPTER 6
Nightmares had been a normal part of life in the labs. One needed somewhere for the horrors of the day to go. But tonight, what was making Karen wake, cry out, breathe heavily—well, it had nothing to do with fear.
Shards of heat flickered in her belly as she opened her eyes. Dark room, moonlit ceiling. Her hand between her legs. Fingers wet. She could still see him—skull-shaved black hair, gray eyes, hard, passionate features and a mouth that had been where her fingers were now.
On a groan, she rolled to her side, her hand leaving her sex, and drew her knees up to her chest. Dreaming about him? God, she was getting in deeper and deeper with every passing day. She’d sworn to him that she didn’t want him that way. And just that afternoon, she’d been silently begging him to kiss her.
What she needed to do was sleep, forget about this. Forget about what she wanted, what she could never have. And tomorrow, and the next day and the next, she’d work on herself. Being a better, stronger mother for her children.
It was near dawn when her wet and trembling body succumbed to exhaustion.
***
“Are you cold?” he asked her.
“Not at all. It’s beautiful, actually.” She smiled. “And I’m wearing my coat and drinking coffee. All good.”
It was their fifth session, and Reaux had suggested they sit outside on the patio behind his office. For days, he’d been trying like hell to remain impassive and clinical with Karen, but it was proving impossible. The stories of what she’d been through were horrifying, yes, but they were also proof of what an incredible female she was. Brutally strong, fiercely protective.
Stunningly beautiful.
He’d never felt this way about anyone in his life, and it unnerved him. Letting a female in, allowing her access to his heart…it scared the shit out of him.
“Do you have many sessions out here?” she asked him, warming her hands on her coffee cup.
“A few.”
“Caleb’s been asking about you,” she told him, a soft smile on her lips. “Wanting to go hunting for tracks again. He hasn’t had fun like that in…ever. I can’t tell you what it meant to me.”
It had meant something to Reaux too. And that surprised him. The boy, the mother. The pair. “He’s a fine cub.” His voice sounded tired. He hadn’t been sleeping well either.
“Did you mean it when you said you could scent a cat inside him?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. I’d never hurt him like that.” When she looked relieved, even pleased, he remarked on it. “You want him to be able to shift, don’t you?”
“He wants it,” she clarified. “Desperately. And I want him to have one amazing thing come out of that hell.”
She was amazing. Goddess, he was in trouble. “Are you prepared to be a mother to a puma shifter?”
“I am,” she said with unwavering confidence. “Bring on the cat. And I plan on staying here. It’s our home now, unless Raphael decides to kick us out or something…” She laughed, but stopped short when she saw his face. “What’s wrong? You look…angry.”
Reaux did a quick self eval. Anger? Yes. And at just the idea of Raphael sending this female away from the Wildlands. Away from him. Christ, it blazed inside him even now. Anger, possessiveness. What was happening to him?
And even as he asked the question, he knew the answer.
Karen was studying him with a slightly critical squint. “Are you like a few of your kind, Reaux?”
“What do you mean?”
“The anger…the questions about me being ready to be the mom of a shifter.” Her pale brown eyes never left his for a minute. “Do you think we don’t belong here? In the Wildlands? The rats, me, Caleb…”
He couldn’t tell her what was going on in his head. In his heart. Hell, what he’d been feeling since the moment she’d nearly passed out by his door, then clung to him and cried her eyes out. This beautiful creature who made every inch of him go hard and hungry and possessive. This soulful mother, who knew how to love, and gave her boy everything she had. He couldn’t tell her that he wanted her. That he was falling in love with her.
He placed her file on the tabletop and sighed. “I can’t continue this. I’m sorry, Karen.”
She looked down at the file, then back up at him. “What are you doing?”
“You need to find another Healer.”
“No,” she said sharply. “I want you.”
Those words tore at his insides. He could image ten different scenarios where she was saying that to him. “I’m sorry. It’s not working.”
A sudden icy contempt flashed in her eyes. “Why not?”
Don’t do it. Don’t you fucking breathe a word. The woman before him had been through hell, and all she’d wanted from him was an ear and tools to help her heal. Instead he’d fallen in love with her. Last thing she needed was some alpha male panting after her, demanding to claim her and her boy. And if this—her and him—continued another day it was going to happen. Soft, sweet and gentle—that was reserved for patients. When he wanted something, he would go to any lengths to get it.
“What you’re dealing with,” he began, forcing a cool edge to his tone. “It requires a more experienced hand.”
She blinked at him. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”
He ignored her. Had to. He stood up. “Like I said, I can recommend someone.”
For long seconds she glared up at him as around them the sun warmed the cold bayou. Then she sniffed and shook her head. “I can’t believe it, Reaux. You’re a coward.”
The word clawed at his gut. But again, he ignored her. “Good luck, Karen.”
Brown eyes blazing, she stood too. “You still think I’m going to jump your bones, don’t you?”
He didn’t respond because at that very moment his asshole of a mind had grabbed onto that image and was going to town with it inside his head.
“You know,” she said, her lovely face a mask of fury, “I’ve been nothing but professional. You’re the one who came to my house and followed me down to the bayou and played with…” Teeth gritted, she shook her head. “Forget it. I just hadn’t pegged you for a player.”
And with that, she turned her coffee cup over and let the remaining brown liquid drench her patient file.
CHAPTER 7
Hunger gnawed at Karen’s belly as she headed over to her favorite cypress with her lunch in hand. She hadn’t eaten breakfast. Too late getting up in the morning. Again. It was all those sleepless nights.
She blamed them on him.
She tucked into the cypress and opened her bag, took out a sandwich. It had been a week since she’d walked out on Reaux, and she’d been trying to avoid seeing him ever since. Which wasn’t easy as they worked in the same building. But she’d managed it. Boy, had she been a fool. Believing that Reaux was her safe place. That maybe he cared about her. And the whole time he was just thinking she was like every other female: unable to control her urges around him.
Well, she could control her urges!
Hell, she’d controlled them for twelve long years.
She ate part of her sandwich, but barely tasted it. She put it down on the napkin and picked up her fruit. Sucked. This whole thing. How long did it take to get over a…crush? The answer never made i
t to her brain because just as she was tossing a slice of apple into her mouth, her sandwich was stolen. Right in front of her. By a black puma with threads of white on its face.
Karen stared at it. At him. Her heart in her throat. “What’s all this?” she said in a hard tone. “Trying to scare me off Wildlands property?”
The puma gulped down the sandwich in one bite, then started pacing in front of her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Reaux,” she said, packing up the rest of her lunch. “This is my home.”
He snarled at her, but kept pacing.
“What did I ever do to you? Seriously?” Her eyes formed tears. God, she was a wimp now. What happened to that hard woman with the layers of metal around her?
As she stood up, the cat froze, then gloriously shifted. Back into the male she was so desperate to forget. Six feet of gorgeous, fearsome alpha male stood there, his steely gray eyes impaling her.
“I’m sorry I sought you out, okay?” she told him through her stupid, pointless tears. “I’m sorry I forced you to see me, help me.”
He stalked toward her, took her shoulders in his large hands.
“But it wasn’t—” Her voice cracked. “Isn’t because I want to jump you.”
“I believe you.”
Her eyes lifted to meet his. So dark and compelling. “What? But I thought…”
“It was never your desire that worried me, Karen. It was mine.”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t say anything.
“I wanted you from the moment I met you. Something new for me. And honestly, it scared the shit out of me.” He shook his head, nostrils flaring. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Still can’t.”
Her chest felt so tight. With wonder and anxiety, and…hope. “Then why…all that coldness and pushing me away?”
He brought his hand up and cupped her face, brushed his thumb over her cheek. “You needed time to heal, space…release from your anger and grief. All I could think about was having you. I was no good for you as a Healer.”