“What have we got today?”
“Turkey and Swiss on wheat, mayo for you, hold the tomato, and some spinach.”
“So I can grow up big and strong?”
I didn’t know how to answer that one. I kinda had the feeling Dylan was a little…put off, maybe, by the fact that my brain could bench press more than he could. It was on my long list of Why Dylan Isn’t Into Me. “No whining, just eat it.”
“Yes ma’am. And for you,” he pulled a soda can out of each pocket, “diet. I don’t know why you want to drink that stuff.”
“‘Just for the taste of it.’ It’s what my mom sneaks into the house sometimes.”
“So…” Dylan drew out the word and then took a bite of his sandwich and chewed for a bit.
Usually he sat across the landing from me, leaning against the wall, with one of his legs spanning the distance between us. Today he chose to sit next to me. Right next to me, so even if I tried not to look at him, his arm brushed mine every time he moved and our legs were almost touching. He would do that today, when I was all wound up about him all over again.
It was like this right after the big fight with Marco. Right after he laid that kiss on me, it was all Dylan, all the time in my head. Then when nothing really happened after that, I kind of settled down…a little bit. That whole thing with him riding to my rescue last night just got me worked up all over again. I can be such a girl sometimes.
So…what? I swear this was the longest chew and swallow on record.
“Did you want to talk about what happened last night?”
That was pretty open-ended. Was he trying to tell me he wanted to know how it went down, or was he asking if I had feelings I wanted to share? Let’s face it: I’ve never been real good on the sharing. Doesn’t mean I don’t ever kinda long to talk to someone, you know? It just means I don’t really know how.
“Um, what part?”
“Any part you want. Or no part, if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh. Um…I don’t know.” OMG, why am I such a loser? Because you’ve spent your entire school career avoiding any kind of conversation?
Dylan almost never asked me direct questions or put me on the spot. Unlike Kat, who would constantly direct the conversation my way, which I knew was her way of trying to include my awkward self in her circle of friends, Dylan didn’t do that. He’s the kind of guy who always wants to smooth things over and see everyone getting along. He was really good at making people feel at ease.
It wasn’t his fault I’d had this stupid crush on him forever, I was always nervous around him, and was a total social misfit besides. If he wanted to hear about it, I really wanted to talk to him. But what was I supposed to say?
“You said Marco didn’t seek you out just to mess with you, so how did you guys run into each other?”
So I told Dylan about walking home past Dog-Eared and what I saw.
“I know it was reckless to just go in there. I didn’t know Marco was there yet, but still, I didn’t have enough information to do what I did. It was really stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid. You saw something wrong and you stood up. That’s cool. I hope you’ll call for backup before you go after a bunch of guys by yourself, if there’s a next time.”
“My dad didn’t think it was so cool.”
“I’m not your dad.”
Well duh.
“The firebug was Tony D’Attaviano—Marco’s cousin. He was a senior when we were freshmen. Real dick. He and Marco like to make trouble together. Last year they made Rob use his Talent to make all these fake orders over the internet that showed as paid. Then they got all this stereo equipment delivered to Tony’s house, which they then sold for profit.”
“Nice.”
“That thing with Bella kind of freaks me out. I wonder if you can see her when she’s…out of body.”
“Don’t like the idea of not being the only invisible guy around?”
“I guess not. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of creepy, huh?”
“Invisibility? On Bella maybe. But unless you decide you’re going to go be a lookout for Marco—” Oh my God, can I just curl up and die right now?
“Again? No, thanks.”
“You know, I think I took a blow to the head last night.” I reached up and rubbed at my skull, partly just to hide how red my face was. “The part of my brain that’s supposed to keep me from saying stupid stuff is damaged.”
Dylan’s hand covered mine. “Right here? Yeah, I think I feel a lump. You know, I was born without that brain center, and they tell me it’s possible to live a long, full life.” His hand slid away, skimming my hair like he had wanted to touch it.
“Well, that’s a relief.” If I don’t die from embarrassment. Even my voice was absurdly high and breathy.
“Joss?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re…okay, right?”
“Um, yeah.” Why so serious?
Dylan’s hands twisted around each other between his knees. “When I talked to Heather, she said that you were really scared.”
“I was. But that’s all over with.”
“And she implied that Marco and Jeff wanted to…hurt you.”
“Well, that’s no surpris—oh. Oh. No. That did not happen.”
“Would you tell me?”
And have you run off and commit Marco-induced suicide? No, not likely.
“Nothing like that happened. They marched me over to the factory, shoved me around some, said some rude things, but that was the extent of it.”
Dylan blew out a breath and raked both his hands through his hair, neither of which seemed to do anything for his tension level. I couldn’t think of anything to say that might put him at ease, partly because I wasn’t even really sure what it was all about.
Did he really feel that strongly about me? But that didn’t make sense. If he did, why didn’t he say anything? Obviously he cared, right? He kept hanging around, showing interest…Clearly he had some kind of feelings for me. Did guys get this intense over girls they’re just friends with?
Or maybe I was supposed to say something? Maybe I was supposed to give him some kind of sign. Like what? This sucked. It should not be this complicated. Either he was interested or he wasn’t right? How much longer was I going to keep making myself crazy trying to figure this out?
“Do you ever think of me as more than a friend?”
I stopped myself from clamping my hands over my mouth. Just barely. It was too late anyway. My stupid question was already out there, hanging in the air between us.
Dylan grabbed me, just grabbed me, and his mouth was on mine. And oh, God, it was just like I remembered it, only more intense. His lips ground so hard against mine I could feel his teeth behind them. He had one hand in my hair, cupping the back of head so that I couldn’t have pulled back if I’d wanted to. I didn’t. If anything, I just wanted more. I wanted to climb inside of him. I was practically in his lap, with a death grip on his collar, and his arm was wrapped around me to keep me there.
Everything in the world was just this moment. Everything was Dylan. I didn’t even have enough brain to worry if I was doing it right, I just kissed him back, and kissed him, and thought I might die if I couldn’t get closer to him. My hands were in his hair. It felt amazing. The way he tasted, the way he smelled, it was like my brain was just going to explode from the pleasure of being this close to him.
The bell tore into our world like a scream, making us jump back from each other. I missed the landing and would have gone headfirst down the stairs if Dylan hadn’t caught me and set me back. He leaned his forehead against mine and we both took a breath. Then he backed up.
I raised my eyes to his face. He was grinning at me. Then he swiped his thumb against my bottom lip.
“Nope. Never.”
And took off down the stairs.
What?
Chapter 5
Dylan
“Nope. Never.”
Why did I
say that? I’m such an idiot. The perfect opportunity to have it all settled—and where I wouldn’t hardly even have to say anything and risk saying something stupid, and what do I do? Try to make a joke of out of it and say something stupid because being around Joss was just way too intense.
I wasn’t paying attention. Some freshmen slammed into me accidentally and I banged into the doorframe. My cool factor was taking serious hits today. I was in a hurry to get out of the building, though, get some air. I should have gone right to Joss at her locker and apologized for before, but I didn’t want to do that in front of people and embarrass us both. I was just gonna park it out here on the planter and wait to walk her home or to work or whatever. That would be better.
She was probably pissed off at me for jerking her around. Part of me wanted to keep my distance, wait and see. But that was lame, and being chicken-shit about talking to her was part of the problem. And let’s face it, most of me thought that if there was any chance of getting to kiss her again—sometime really soon—I should wait around for it.
Marco flopped down next to me on the concrete wall. “Hey, man, got a smoke?”
“Fuck off.”
He reached into his jacket, pulled out a pack, and went through the ritual of tapping and lighting. I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t really miss the nicotine or the taste of it, but I missed having something to do with my hands.
“How’s our girl today?”
“Stay the hell away from Joss.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been staying away. She came to me, so seems like—”
“I know what happened.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever she told you. You hit that yet?”
“Fuck you. Why are you fucking talking to me? Get lost.” That’s why he was talking to me, because he knew I couldn’t make him get lost, and he knew I hated it.
“I’ll take that as a no. What’s up with that, D? You losin’ your touch or are you just scared of her? Not that I’d blame you. That is one freaky chick and you’re not exactly a match for her, are you?”
“And, what, you are? How many times she turn you down already? Get a clue, get over it, and move the fuck on, man. This torch you’re carrying for her is pathetic.”
He snorted smoke through his nose. “Yeah, I’m so into her,” he said, heavy on the sarcasm. “And I’m the one that’s pathetic. I heard you showed up last night. Don’t know why you’d bother. Get your girl to do your fighting for you again?” He didn’t wait for me to come up with a comeback. “She’s not exactly your type, is she? Not really…attractive. But I can kinda see why’d you’d be into her. I mean, she’s got a nice rack.”
I got up quick and shoved at him. “Shut your mouth.”
He grinned up at me, thrilled to get a reaction. “And the Talent. A lot of power. It’s kinda hot, isn’t it?” He stood up, faced off against me while I was remembering that “kinda hot” was exactly what I’d thought when I first found out what Joss could do. “You need that, don’t you, Dylan? I mean, if you’re gonna break from me, you need someone else to look after you. And that’s bitch’s got a lot power packed into that tight little body.”
“You need to quit fucking talking about her,” I ground out, giving him another shove. Now that he was on his feet, I only succeeded in pushing myself back a step, which made me look like an idiot.
He laughed and I lashed out with the one weapon I could think of, “How’s your mom these days?”
He jerked in reaction before he could stop himself, then took a drag on his cigarette. He held the smoke for a moment, blew it out slowly, watching me the whole time through narrowed eyes. “Fuck if I know.”
“She’s never getting out of the nuthouse, is she? And it’s sad, the risks your parents took to get away from her family and hide a Talent like you from organized crime. Does your dad tell her what you’re into? It must just break her heart, not to mention what’s left of her mind.”
“Like I give a shit. And like you’re one to bring up fucked up family to me. At least I’m doin’ something.”
“What are you doing? The bookstore thing? The same petty crap you’ve been doing. It’s tired and it’s boring. We’re too old for this shit and you’re a moron.”
“Yeah, we’ll see who’s bored when I own this town. We’ll see how you feel when I’ve got everyone in it under my thumb, especially when I’ve got Joss under me, wr—”
“I told you—” Someone grabbed my arm and I looked to see that it was Eric yanking me back a few steps.
“Cool it, you guys. Assistant Principal Sims and Mr. Dobbs are standing right over there watching you.”
I followed his glance. Sims gave me a nod when our eyes met, that I’m keeping my eye on you, son look. I was pretty familiar with it, and I didn’t need another suspension. I turned back to Marco who flicked his half-smoked cigarette into the planter.
“You may not think much of me, but I am telling you now,” I said, low, slow, and deadly serious, “I know what’s in your head, and if you ever touch her I will find you where you sleep and I will put a knife in your ribs. I don’t need your kind strength for that. If you hurt Joss, nothing that was between us in the past is going to keep me from fucking killing you.”
Marco laughed in my face. “Thanks for the warning. I’ll have to remind you about that while I’m making you watch.”
“All right, we’re done now,” Eric said, stopping my lunge by putting himself between us and walking me backward. “Just cool it,” he said to me in a low voice. Dobbs and Sims were on high alert, just itching to come over and break something up. I let Eric keep pushing me. After several steps he spun me around, got a grip on my shoulder and marched me off toward the parking lot.
The power play wasn’t necessary, I couldn’t take Marco and I knew it. I was letting Eric lead me off. It was just a show for the benefit of anyone else who’d been watching. Because Eric was cool like that.
“Thanks,” I told him.
“You can’t let him get to you like that. Anyway, we’ve got a date with pizza and destiny.”
“Can’t. I have to find Joss.”
“She’ll be there. Kat’s looking for her now. Matt’ll bring the girls over, but I saw you with Marco and figured we’d go on ahead.”
“But Marco—”
“Is already leaving.”
I turned and saw Marco strolling off toward the faculty lot. My gut was churning with frustrated rage, and pizza was about the last thing I wanted to think about. I found I wanted to think more about killing Marco with my bare hands, and that wasn’t like me.
I thought about Joss.
Maybe it should be.
* * *
Marco
“I will find you where you sleep and I will put a knife in your ribs.”
I snorted at that as I made my way around to the back of the building and the faculty parking lot. You could try, asshole.
The thing that surprised me was that he’d meant it. Fucking ungrateful piece of shit. We’d been like brothers and he’d turned his back on me over a girl. I kept thinking he’d get some of that, get over it, and come crawling back. And I would have let him, too. After some heavy-duty groveling and a few favors, I even would have put the fight and the cracked rib behind us. Because we had history. But I was just done with him now. When he got bored with that bitch—or she climbed back up on her high horse and started ignoring everybody again—he could just find someone else to watch his back for him because I was done.
A hand clamped down on my shoulder and I was almost jerked off my feet before Poe steadied me again. He was always showing off like that.
“What do you want?” I asked him.
“What do you want?”
“I gotta talk to your boss.”
“Oh yeah? Then ask nice.”
“I don’t need your permission, jerk-off. She asked me to meet her.” I should have known she’d have at least one of her goons with her. It seemed like she never made a move
without at least one of them. Poe, the fat slob, was a strength Talent like me. I wanted to go hand to hand with him, take him down a peg, but lucky for him I had way too many important things to do. Since I always had to do everything. The other one, Richie, was a tall, skinny guy whose curly hair made him look like some kind of overgrown Muppet. I had no idea what his Talent was, but I was pretty sure he had one. Vivian wouldn’t waste time on him otherwise.
We rounded the corner into the faculty lot in time to see the naughty nurse coming out the door. She pulled the pins from her cap and pulled it off, yanking out the elastic from her hair with the other hand. She shook her head, tossing wavy red hair all over the place like she was walking through a goddamned shampoo commercial. She flicked open a few buttons on the dress, flashing some cleavage before she belted her little black trench coat over it.
Poe and I met her at the car where Richie was already waiting. “Get in,” was all she said before Richie opened her door and she sank into the front seat. Poe gave me a shove toward the car, just ’cause he thought he could, but of course it didn’t affect me at all. I got in behind the driver’s seat.
“What the hell happened last night?”
“That girl I told you about. Joss. She gave the guys some trouble when you called Tony and me away.”
“You trying to blame this on me, Finelli?” she snapped as Richie pulled out of the lot.
Only ’cause it’s your goddamned fault. “No, I’m just tellin’ you what happened.”
“How’d the cops get involved?”
“I dunno.”
“My guys at the precinct tell me it started when one of them was chasing a speeder. Guy was driving like a maniac. More cars got involved but they couldn’t manage to box him in.”