"Nice." She panted, her breathing slowly evening out. "I missed you last night."
Huh. And she'd left the towel on the door. I stared at the ceiling, trying to figure it all out and not really getting far. Brief seemed best. "Missed you too."
"We went to sleep early for a change, but when I woke up later..." Her lips pressed against my chest. Then out of seemingly nowhere, she said, "What if you had a key? Would that be weird?"
"You want to give me a key to your place?"
She shrugged. "It would make things easier."
"Yeah, it would. If you want me sleeping here."
"You might as well."
"Well that sounds inviting," I said with a smile.
"Eric, you know what I mean." She shifted. "I like you being here."
"And you want me here every night or what?"
After a second's hesitation, she nodded. "I feel better when you're here. And it'll make finding the time for the sex stuff easier, right?"
"Right," I drawled.
"It's not a big deal," she said, a touch defensively.
I said nothing.
"I'll, um, grab you one of the spares before you go."
From across the hall, Ada let loose one of her "I'm awake" war cries. Effectively cutting off any further discussion about our apparently new living situation. Never in the history of time had I accepted a key from a woman. A few had suggested it, but I'd always declined. It was another step on the commitment ladder and I generally liked keeping my feet on the ground.
"And so it begins," said Jean, climbing off of me to check her cell on the bedside table. "Good timing, Mom wanted to Skype us and read Ada a book she picked up from the library."
"Let me guess, To Kill a Mockingbird? Oh, no, Shakespeare." I smiled. "That'd be the one. I got it, right?"
"Absolutely." She grinned back at me over her shoulder. "Figure we'll start her off with something light like Macbeth and work our way up from there."
"I really hated that class in high school. Give Ada my condolences," I said. "I better go get ready for work."
"We'll see you later?"
I nodded. "You know, I never accepted a key off a woman before."
Another shrug. I don't know if I was getting better at reading her or she was getting shit at keeping her guard up. But I could tell this mattered to her. Big-time. Her movements were jerky as she pulled on her clothes and she avoided my eyes the entire time.
"Things change," she said. About the key or me, I couldn't say.
"They sure do. You ever given a man your key before?"
Lines appeared on her forehead. "It's seriously not a big deal."
"You feel better when I'm here and you want me here every night, but it's not a big deal." I rose off the bed, stretching some before reaching for my pants. "Sweetheart, it's a big fucking deal. We'll basically be living together."
Silence.
"And I want that. I do. I just want to be sure that's what you want," I said. "Because trust me, it's a big deal."
"Yes." She tugged her hair back into a ponytail with way more force than needed. "It's what I want."
"Okay. Just making sure we're on the same page." I wandered over to her side of the bed, caging her against the wall.
"What?"
"You're giving me the key to the place," I said, taking her hands and peering into her deep blue eyes. "The place you're thinking of moving out of."
Her brow furrowed, and she bit her lip. "I know," she said in a little voice. "I don't mean to be jerking you around, I swear I don't." Wide blue eyes looked up at me, anguish behind them. "It's just complicated."
"No." I shook my head. "It's simple." My mouth moved to hers, my voice a whisper. "Where you go, I go."
At first, I kissed her gently, sweetly, encouraging her to relax and open up for me. Then I took it deeper, sliding my tongue into her mouth. It was the same every time. The crazy amount of heat and feeling. We didn't stop until her arms were wound around my neck, my hands gripping her hips tightly. I never wanted to let go.
She lay her head against my shoulder, getting as close as she could. "This scares me. You scare me."
"Sweetheart, I'm pretty much wrapped around your finger."
The woman snorted. "You know what I mean."
"I know." I kissed the top of her head. "But we'll work it out. Okay?"
"Okay."
Ada screamed in outrage at being kept waiting and Jean took the opportunity to bolt after throwing one last worried glance my way. For some reason, I couldn't stop smiling.
*
"You're serious about this?"
I nodded over my drink. "Serious as I can be."
"Huh."
My brother sat on the bar stool next to me at the Coeur d'Alene Lakeside Restaurant and Bar a couple of days later. We were basically there to spy. Not to check out the competition, but to assess what kind of joint the resort people who wanted to buy the Dive Bar ran. Honestly, I was a long way from impressed.
"It looks good," said Joe, sipping his beer from the tap.
"About half an inch more froth than needed."
"Yeah."
I stared at my margarita resentfully. "They used a piece of lemon instead of lime to garnish. The fruit's old and discolored."
"How's it taste?"
"Pretty hard to fuck up a margarita," I grumped.
Sure, flames blazed in the big-ass stone fireplace. Very impressive. And the floor-to-ceiling windows looking out over the lake were reasonably spectacular. Top-end tables and fancy chairs, some plush cushioned couches in the corner. Local artwork beautifully framed hung on the walls. On the other hand, the young idiot behind the bar was snoozing instead of keeping an eye on customers. I raised up on the stool a little to check out the situation back there. Ice needed topping up and a good wipe down of the area wouldn't go astray.
Lazy fuck.
Then there was the bar itself. The bottles across the top shelf looked like they came right out of a catalogue. Some vacuous idiot's laundry list of what a top-shelf selection should look like. My eyes narrowed. Most of the bottles were unused. Display purposes only. No personality in it at all. It was the worst thing in the world: a bar made by people who didn't actually like to drink.
Dammit. I should like the place. Everything would be easier if I could just like the place.
Joe nudged me, pointing to a couple of waiters chatting by the front desk while a woman at a table in the restaurant section waved her hand, trying to get their attention. Because providing a little customer service was so difficult. God knows who was in charge or exactly what they were doing with their life. Not working, apparently.
I took a handful of the complimentary nuts and popped them one by one into my mouth.
"What do you think?" asked Joe.
"Hand me that menu?" He did as asked and I flipped through the bar menu. "Way overpriced for what they're stocking on the shelves."
A grunt. "You know you were never going to be happy with the place."
"The staff don't like it here," I said. "None of them give a shit."
"Maybe we came on an off day."
My turn to grunt. "They have no pride in their work. It's depressing."
"Just think about all the money they're willing to pay you and smile. Everyone will find other jobs. It's not the end of the world." Joe scratched at his beard. "Still can't believe you're seriously thinking of going."
"Shit happens."
"That's fucking beautiful, man." He laughed.
"She's the one," I growled. "What do you want me to say?"
He just smiled.
Which only irritated me more. "Just because your social life revolves around me, you sad fuck."
"Ah, brother." He sighed. "I take it back. Go to Florida, I don't give a shit, you dick rash."
"Charming." I grinned. "Order a manhattan, would you?"
"Hey," Joe shouted at the snoozing bartender. "Manhattan, thanks."
The kid jerked to attention, face
startled. Maybe even a little pissed at the disturbance. "Right. On it."
"If he worked for me, I'd kick his ass into next week." I pushed the margarita aside, then said loudly, "I'll have a paloma."
The kid's eyes tightened, but he nodded.
"He's going to need to look that one up," I said, keeping my voice low.
"You bastard," laughed Joe. "I've never even had anyone order that. What is it?"
"Basically tequila and grapefruit juice."
"Sounds disgusting."
"Some people like them. It takes all kinds." I slumped sulkily on the stool, eating some more nuts. "Hate the thought of someone else in charge of my bar."
"I know, brother. I know." He gripped my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "But you can open another bar."
"Won't know the scene as well. Won't know the right people to hire."
"You'll figure it out, you know you will." He exhaled. "What's really bothering you?"
I just frowned.
"Having second thoughts?"
"No," I said. "Jean and Ada, they're it for me. I'm there whenever I'm not working or hitting the gym with you. They're my life now, man, and it's good. It's really good. I can talk to her about anything, you know?"
"Are you sure this is what she wants, though, you guys selling the Dive Bar?"
"Honestly, we haven't gone into specifics. I've kind of avoided it because I didn't want to put any more pressure on her. She just wants stability and the best life for Ada," I said. "She never expected to be a mom this early and I know she worries a lot about messing things up. God knows her own parents aren't the best example. Though they're making an effort with Ada."
"Mm."
"But you can't fault Jean for being a good mother and putting her kid first," I continued. "Whether she decides what's best is here or down South, I guess we'll see."
"Fair enough." He slapped me on the back hard enough to nearly knock me off my seat. Bastard. "No shit. I'm going to miss you if you go, man."
"Are you going to cry?"
"Shut up."
"'Cause I think I'll cry if you do. Really. It will be beautiful."
He ignored me.
We both watched the idiot behind the bar screw up a few more cocktails in silence for a while. Jesus, he was incompetent. My fingers itched to hop over the bar and take charge. Teach him what was up or fire him, one or the other.
"It'll all work out," I said, willing it to be so. "Think she'll make a decision soon, though. Then we'll know what's going on. Yeah."
Joe just nodded.
Fuck, I hope Jean made her mind up soon. The suspense was driving me crazy.
"You going to tell Lydia and Nell about this visit?" asked Joe.
"Yeah, I think I should be honest with them. After all we've done to put the Dive Bar together. They deserve to know."
"Bet you won't tell your girlfriend, though." He picked up a couple of nuts, chucking them in the air and catching them with his mouth. "You don't want to put any pressure on her."
I scowled. "What's your problem?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "Just seems like, if everything's so great between you two, don't you think you should let her know where you're at?"
I said nothing.
"When there's shit to be decided between Alex and I, we hash it out together."
"You're forgetting, I'm not Ada's biological father," I said. "Legally, I'm not Ada's anything. I can't make that decision for them."
Joe just raised his brows.
"What does that mean?"
"Worried that if you don't talk to her about all of this, lay it on the line, one day you might regret it," he said. "That's all. And she won't have a fucking clue because you never talked to her about it. For all she knows, you're happy to pick up and move tomorrow, right?"
"She's got enough on her plate as it is. I don't want to stress her out."
"What, you think she's going to kick you out or something for having an opinion?"
"No."
He didn't even pause. "Because I've seen the way the woman looks at you. Even from the first day she turned up in town, you two have been stupid about each other in your own sweet ways."
I swore, but actually it was kind of nice to hear that. Still, talk about sticking your nose in where it wasn't wanted ... "I've got it under control."
"No, you don't. She's a grown-ass woman, Eric. Start treating her like one. Talk to her, tell her about this place and what you're thinking," he said, his voice serious, even stern. "I know you're crazy about each other. But you have to communicate. You're not sheltering her from shit. Not really."
"Okay, okay. I'll think about it. Jesus."
"Good."
Unfortunately, it didn't feel good at all.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
"Eh!"
"How's my best girl?" I crooned, taking Ada off Jean about two seconds after she'd walked into the Dive Bar. It was the night after Joe's and my ill-fated trip to the resort, and I'd been basking in being back in a proper bar again. Basking? Hell, I was glowing. The poor schmuck who'd wandered up to the bar and innocently asked if he could have a paloma hadn't known what hit him. In the history of the world, no one had ever mixed tequila and grapefruit into such an art form.
"Thought we'd come have dinner down here and sneak in a visit," said Jean.
"You're always welcome here." I stole a kiss off her. "It's been a slow night. The storm's keeping people home. How's your day been?"
Jean fluffed up her hair. "Busy. You're now the official owner of half of the cupboard."
"First you buy me a toothbrush and now you've made room in the cupboard?"
Pink tinged her cheeks. "I want it to feel like home for you too. I know there's no immediate plans to get rid of your apartment, but..."
"It'll be easier."
She smiled. "Yes. It will be."
"Sweet." I patted Ada's diaper-clad butt. "Kind of sounds like we're settling into that apartment together, though. Is that a sign?"
"You mean about Florida?" She leaned her forehead against my shoulder. "I know I'm dragging it out and just need to make a decision. God, I'm sorry. I feel like such a flake. Every time I think I know what the right thing to do is, I get panicky and change my mind."
"Eh. Eh." Ada smacked me on the nose, demanding my attention.
"Yes, Ada?"
She gave me a dribble-filled grin.
"Clever and gorgeous." I smooched on her chubby little cheek until she giggled. "Yes, you are."
"Thank you," yelled Joe from behind the bar because he thought he was funny.
"Shush up."
At that, my brother laughed. Vaughan, sitting at the bar, joined in. Chuckleheads.
"Give me the baby," demanded Nell, appearing at my side and forcibly removing the child from my arms. Though I didn't really fight hard, on account of the fact the woman was huge. I'd told her to go home and get off her feet hours ago, but she wouldn't listen.
Before I knew it, Rosie was there too, crowding me out while they gushed all over the baby. It was hard to blame them. Ada had hit a stage where she would stare right at you for about four seconds, and then her whole face would light up in this radiant smile, as if you were just the best thing ever.
"Come on," I said, taking Jean's hand to lead her to a table over by the bar just in case I was needed. "What do you feel like eating, sweetheart? You hungry?"
"How's things, Jean?" asked Joe.
"Good." Jean smiled. "How are you and Alex doing?"
"Great, yeah." The bearded wonder kept polishing glasses. "We've been talking about lots of things lately. Lots."
Jean just blinked. "Um, great."
Bastard.
"Communication is the bedrock upon which any kind of solid relationship is built," joined in Rosie for some goddamn reason. I really did regret ever seeking wisdom from any of them. "Don't you agree, Eric?"
"Absolutely," I grated out. "Sounds like you've all been talking a lot. Really building those relatio
nships."
"Well, we're a family." Nell came closer, rocking Ada in her arms.
"Are we?" I asked, raising a brow.
"Yes," she said. "Even when we disagree almost to the point of violence sometimes."
"Or quite frequently," I corrected. "Can you guys not do this?"
"Not only does it affect us all, but I'm not convinced it's what you want."
"So you read minds now? Seriously, Nell?" I grabbed the edge of the table, trying to stay calm. "It's her choice. You all need to stay out of it."
Nell's chin went up, ginger hair fiery beneath the lights. Guess she might have been on her way home, because her chef's cap was missing. "And because she's my friend, I respect her enough to tell her everything."
Beside me, Jean stirred, leaning closer. "All right you guys, what's going on?"
"Do you love him?" asked Nell, gaze zeroing in on Jean.
She just stared.
"Because he loves you." Nell shifted Ada to her hip, trying to make allowances for the size of her belly. "I honestly never thought I'd live to see the day he put anyone ahead of his own interests. Don't get upset, I'm not out to insult him. It's just the way he's always been ... until you."
Jean tipped her head. "Where are you going with this?"
"Do you love him?"
"It's all right, you don't have to answer that," I said.
"He helped build this place with his hands," said Nell, forging on. Goddammit. "And I'll be the first to admit he's been slack sometimes, being late, going off early. But not anymore, not for a while now. Even when he was driving me nuts, he always put everything into each drink he made. It's like he thinks he's a cocktail wizard or something. I don't know. But slinging drinks is his gift and that over there is his bar."
"Okay," said Jean, her voice quiet.
"I'm asking you to think about staying here and not moving to Florida."
"Shit," I muttered.
"I know you'll miss your folks sometimes. Despite all of the crap they pulled, they're still your parents. It's a given," said Nell. "But let us be your family. We won't let you or Ada down, I promise. We're not temporary and we're not fair weather, we'll be there for you both."
"We will," said Joe. "Just give us a chance to prove it."
"You're all ganging up on her." I rose to my feet, shoving my chair in. "This is not fair."
My brother, Vaughan, Nell, Rosie, and Taka stood around us, forming a circle. I don't know if they'd organized it beforehand, but it was not cool. They were like an out-of-control mob of loving idiots.