Page 8 of Heaven


  “Twenty-one.” Xavier smirked. “As you can see, I’m older and therefore wiser so you better be respectful.”

  “Everything’s been taken care of,” Ivy said. “All you need to do is pick up your keys and books.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “You don’t know how much this means to us.” I was fully aware that Ivy could have turned her back on us, but she had chosen to take our side. It wasn’t something I took lightly. “You’re taking a big risk helping us out,” I said. “This ought to buy us some time to figure things out. But whether it lasts months or only a day, I want you to know I won’t forget it.”

  She nodded. “If you need us you know what to do.”

  “So I’m your brother?” Xavier said as we lugged our duffel bags in the direction of the dorms. “That just feels weird. What were they thinking?”

  “I think they were just taking precautions.”

  “They could have gone for cousins.”

  “How would that be any different? Don’t worry, it’s just for show, we can still be us when we’re alone.”

  “How much alone time do you think we’ll get at college?” Xavier sounded dubious.

  “We’ll get used to it,” I told him breezily.

  “You think you’ll get used to me being a single frat boy?” Xavier smirked. “Because that could get messy.”

  “You’re a frat boy on the run,” I reminded him. “I’d try to keep a low profile.”

  As soon as we hit the dorms I realized that I stood out. Not because of any angelic radiance but simply because I was dressed totally wrong. In my floral sundress with its ruffled hem I was distinctly out of place amid the Nike shorts and oversize T-shirts the other girls were wearing. Everyone we passed gave me a second glance. If the objective was to blend in with the crowd, this was not a great start. When we found my dorm, I held the elevator door for a woman carrying a cardboard box piled with pillows and picture frames.

  “Oh, I can wait,” she said emphatically. “You’re so nice and pretty, I don’t wanna mess you up.”

  Xavier smothered a smile as the doors slid shut behind us. In his navy polo shirt and cream shorts, he fit in perfectly. He shook his head.

  “Nobody told me there was a dress code, did they?” I grumbled.

  “You are so not prepared for college,” he said.

  “It can’t be any harder than high school,” I replied stubbornly. Xavier hit the button for the ninth floor, where my room was located.

  “Okay then, define this term: freshmen fifteen.”

  “Well,” I said indignantly, “I suppose freshmen fifteen might refer to a group of fifteen students with a particular interest or…”

  “Nope.” Xavier laughed. “Not even close.”

  “What then?”

  “It refers to the fifteen pounds freshmen put on from a college diet of fried chicken and beer.”

  I grimaced. “I take it that means food is going to be a problem?”

  “Food’s always a problem in college but don’t worry; we’ll find you something healthy.”

  I realized we hadn’t talked about the Sevens and our situation since we’d arrived at Ole Miss. It was a relief to put all of that aside for a moment. Xavier was cracking jokes again, preoccupied with normal things like finding the campus gym.

  I couldn’t quell the hope that coming here would mark a new episode in our lives. Of course I knew that in reality nothing had changed. We were still on the run, although being surrounded by students somehow gave the illusion that we’d got our lives back on track. Apart from the whole brother and sister thing, everything felt surprisingly normal. I was absorbing every detail—after being hidden away in the cabin, the world of Ole Miss was coming to life before my eyes, like a black-and-white sketch suddenly filling with color.

  8

  The Roomie

  THE dorm wasn’t as bad as I predicted it would be. I didn’t know how I’d fare with communal showers but I knew I’d muddle through somehow. The freshmen girls couldn’t help but sneak admiring glances at Xavier as he slung my heavy bag over his shoulder and sauntered casually through the corridors. I was glad he was there to help me. Xavier’s purposeful stride and confident air contrasted with the nervous looks and anxious questions being fired around us. I was grateful that we’d been given the chance to attend college together. I was noticing a lot of lost girls looking overwhelmed and glancing up hopefully every time someone walked past.

  “Hey there.” Xavier addressed them all by half-raising his hand. They smiled shyly, averting their eyes and fiddling with their hair.

  I’d managed to land a corner room at the end of the passage. Xavier told me they were always a fraction larger and I wondered whether Ivy had had anything to do with it. But once I let myself in I realized that even her angelic influence wouldn’t help me here. I looked around in dismay. From the linoleum floor to the dusty venetian blinds, it was basic, to say the least. The beds had been stripped and were nothing but two stained pale blue mattresses on rickety wooden frames. The painted brick walls were bare and the spaghetti-string pattern on the ceiling couldn’t help but put one in mind of a prison. My brother and sister arrived and silently surveyed the room. Ivy moved to sit down in one of the plastic chairs by the built-in desk, but thought better of it and opted to stand.

  “You know you could fix this just by snapping your fingers,” I told Gabriel, imagining how easily he could transform the dorm from dungeon to hotel room.

  “I could.” My brother smiled smugly. “But that would defeat the purpose.”

  “The purpose being?”

  “Giving you an authentic college experience.”

  I grimaced and went to tentatively inspect a miscellaneous stain on the mattress.

  “I’m going to need some disinfectant wipes.”

  Xavier burst out laughing and kissed the top of my head.

  “Wait a minute,” he said, and set to work, rearranging the beds so they were pushed against either wall, creating the illusion of more space.

  “What do you think? Any better?”

  “It all looks the same to me.” I shrugged. “There’s not much you can do with a place like this.”

  “You’d be surprised,” Xavier told me. “Some girls go all-out. They loft the beds, carpet the floors; some even hire interior decorators.”

  “They do not! That’s crazy.”

  “That’s college.”

  “Oh, boy,” I said. “Maybe I’m not ready for this.”

  “Welcome to the world of freshmen,” Gabriel said. “Good luck.”

  “Wait, you’re leaving already?” I was surprised.

  “We can’t hang around,” Ivy said. “Our presence is too easy to detect.”

  “And mine isn’t?”

  “You are shrouded by the world of humans.”

  “Really?”

  “Of course,” said Gabriel. “You act like a human, you think like a human, you even feel like a human. That level of interaction helps you blend in with them.”

  “But…” I wasn’t ready for them to leave. “We need you.”

  “Don’t worry, we won’t be far away.”

  Ivy turned to leave, but Gabriel lingered, biting his lower lip as if he wanted to say something more but was searching for the right way to phrase it.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. He ignored me and glanced at my sister. A look of collusion passed between them and without speaking it aloud, Ivy knew what was on his mind. He seemed intensely uncomfortable with whatever it was, but he finally exhaled and just spat it out.

  “Remember my advice from a few days ago?”

  Was he being deliberately cryptic? “No,” I said. “You give a lot of advice.”

  “About the wisdom of abstinence,” Gabriel said with a heavy sigh.

  “Oh, that. What about it?”

  “Feel free to ignore it.” Gabriel shrugged off the mystified looks Xavier was giving him.

  “Umm…” I wasn’t entirely comfortable discussing m
y sex life with my brother. “Why the change of heart?”

  “I hardly see the value in denial now. It’s too late to placate Heaven. It’s time we played on our terms.”

  “What about the whole ‘don’t add fuel to the fire’ strategy?” Xavier reminded him.

  “I’m done with strategies. If they can’t play nice then neither shall we.”

  Xavier and I watched open-mouthed as Gabriel turned and strode away down the corridor, disappearing out of sight a moment later. With my siblings gone, the mood between us became suddenly awkward. Xavier sat stiffly on the end of the bed with his hands on his knees while I made a beeline for the closet and focused intently on hanging up my clothes to avoid the conversation now hanging in the air. I wondered what was going on in Xavier’s head. It felt like a hunger strike had just been lifted but we were both afraid to take the first bite. It wasn’t that temptation had seized us right there in the dorm room, it had simply been a taboo subject for so long that neither of us really knew how to discuss it openly. I was relieved it was Xavier who decided to broach the subject.

  “Is it just me or was that really weird?”

  “It’s not just you,” I said, coming to sit cross-legged beside him on the bed.

  “What’s come over Gabriel?”

  “I’m not sure.” I frowned. “But I reckon he must be pretty pissed off at someone.”

  “Do you think he was serious?” Xavier paused. “You know … about us?”

  “He was serious,” I said. “Gabriel doesn’t know how to joke around.”

  “Right.” Xavier was thoughtful. “So he’s saying it would be okay?”

  “Not necessarily,” I said. “I think he’s saying we’re already in so much trouble it’s not going to make much difference.”

  “So do you think we should?”

  “Do you?”

  Xavier let out a deep sigh and stared at the ceiling. “We’ve been so controlled for so long I’m not sure I know how to be anything else,” he said.

  “I guess that’s true.” I must have sounded a little disheartened.

  “But we could try,” he offered more encouragingly, “and see what happens. If you want to, that is.”

  “I want to,” I told him. “I think we’ve waited long enough.”

  Xavier looked dejectedly around the dorm room with its fluorescent lights and peeling custard-colored walls. I had to agree it was far from a romantic setting.

  “Not here.” I laughed. “I still want it to be perfect.” Xavier looked visibly relieved.

  “So do I.”

  * * *

  “HEY, y’all! I’m Mary Ellen, it’s so great to meet you!”

  Xavier and I both looked up as a girl appeared in the doorway. She was taller than me with straight fair hair and wide brown eyes. She was tanned and athletic looking and dressed in the same Nike shorts and oversize T-shirt I’d been seeing all day. “Are you my roommate?” the girl continued. She was quiet for a moment and then broke out in a huge smile. “I’ve been dying to meet you! I tried Facebooking you, but I couldn’t find anything! Where are y’all from? What’s your name? What’s your major?”

  Before I could begin to formulate an appropriate response, faces began to pop up behind her in the doorway like jack-in-the-boxes. Unlike us with our meager belongings, this girl had arrived loaded with possessions as well as what seemed to be a team of assistants to help her settle in.

  “I’m Mary Ellen,” she repeated. “Did I already say that? And this is my mom and dad, my brother, Jordan, and my twin cousins, Jay and Jessica.”

  I was so taken aback by her familiarity as well as the information overload, that I was at a loss for words. Xavier took the lead to dispel the sudden silence.

  “Hey,” he said. “Nice to meet y’all. I’m Ford and this is my sister, Laurie. I’m helping her get settled in.”

  I was glad he’d spoken first; I’d already forgotten our aliases and would have introduced us by our actual names, blowing our cover within the first hour.

  “Oh, well, don’t you worry,” said Mary Ellen’s mom. “We’ll have this place looking like home in no time.”

  As it turned out, they had plenty of ideas for adding homely touches to the stark dorm room. They’d bought a fluffy pink carpet and a minifridge that doubled as a whiteboard, polka dot curtains for the window, and matching wastepaper baskets. Mary Ellen had also made framed collages of about a hundred friends, which took up most of the wall when she hung them up.

  “I hope I’ve left you enough space,” she said apologetically.

  “I really don’t need much,” I replied. “Feel free to put up anything you like.”

  “See, baby,” her mother said. “Told you we’d find a sweet girl for you to room with.”

  Mary Ellen was obviously relieved. She must have been expecting a roommate from hell who would refuse to coordinate decor and play heavy metal music long into the night.

  “I’m from Germantown,” she said eagerly. “How bout y’all?”

  “Jackson,” Xavier said, with an adorable shrug and a half-smile. “Like half the population of Ole Miss. I was a junior at Bama, but I decided to transfer.”

  I was surprised at how easily he slipped into the role and how naturally he could flesh out his assumed identity. But then I remembered that Bama and Ole Miss had been part of his life before I showed up and turned things upside down.

  I could almost see Mary Ellen’s eyes mist over when he spoke to her.

  “I’m glad you did,” she said in a high-pitched, fluty voice. I rolled my eyes behind her back. It was starting already. The female attention that Xavier received was going to get on my nerves fast, especially since I couldn’t take his hand or do anything that would make our relationship blatantly clear.

  “Yeah, sis.” Xavier slung an arm casually around my shoulder. “Aren’t you glad to have me?”

  Mary Ellen giggled and I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “Not really,” I said, shrugging him off. “How am I supposed to meet boys with you around?”

  “Oh, you won’t be meeting any boys,” Xavier said. “No one’s going near my little sister.”

  “I hear you, man,” Jordan chimed in as he helped his father unload a batch of Mary Ellen’s clothes. He was cute in an Alabama visor and dark blue polo shirt. He had the same wide hazel eyes as his sister. “Frat boys only want one thing.”

  Jordan peered closely at one of Mary Ellen’s dresses on the hanger he was holding. It was a strapless minidress in a stretchy denim fabric with a zipper that ran from top to bottom—one strategic maneuver and the whole thing would come undone and crumple to the ground.

  “What is this?” he demanded, holding it up. It really was more of a top than a dress and I saw Xavier smother a smile behind his hand. “You’re not going out in this.”

  “You sound like Granddaddy,” Mary Ellen whined as her brother tucked the offensive garment under his arm. “What am I going to wear to frat row?”

  “I’m confiscating this.” He tossed her an oversize sweatshirt and some baggy sweatpants. “You can wear these to frat row instead.”

  Mary Ellen flounced across the room, sulkily set up a mirror on her desk, and began fluffing her hair vigorously. She grabbed a bottle from one of her bags and a moment later a thick cloud of hair spray enveloped her. I looked questioningly at Xavier.

  “Big hair.” He shrugged. “I think it’s a Mississippi thing.”

  “So.” Mary Ellen’s mother leaned against the bed frame and fixed Xavier with an inquisitive gaze. “If you were a junior at Bama you must know Drew and Logan Spencer; they’re from Madison.”

  “Hmmm.” Xavier pretended to think. “Doesn’t ring any bells.”

  “Oh, no?” Mary Ellen’s mother looked confused. “Everybody knows them! I’m actually their godmother and their aunt is married to my sister’s best friend. And Logan is dating a girl called Emma, whose mother is from my hometown!”

  “I’ll ask some friends.” Xavier g
ave her his most charming smile. “I’m sure I’ve seen them around.” His lips brushed past my ear as he bent down to pull my suitcase onto the bed.

  “Everybody knows everybody here.”

  “Another Mississippi thing?” I asked.

  “You’re a quick study.” Xavier winked. “The whole of the SEC is like an extended family.”

  I knew the interconnected lives of these people wasn’t limited to Mississippi, it was a Southern thing. I thought of Dolly Henderson, who lived next door to us in Venus Cove. No matter who you were or where you’d come from, she would manage to find some distant connection. She knew everybody in town and all their business. I liked the way the town was linked together. Secrets might not stay secret for long, but when it came down to it, you could count on these people. I wanted very much to be part of a community like that and being Laurie McGraw from Jackson gave me a chance to try … even if I was living a life meant for someone else. I knew eventually our past would catch up with us and we’d be forced to flee again, probably without so much as a good-bye or a thank-you to the people who had briefly touched our lives.

  “This weekend is going to be wild.” Mary Ellen’s voice interrupted my train of thought. “There’s a rave at the Lyric and the Levee and almost every frat house is having a throw down.”

  Her brother glared at her. “I think it’d be a whole lot smarter if you had a nice early night.”

  “Whatever, Jordan.” She rolled her eyes and turned to me. “I reckon we start at Sigma Nu then follow the crowd.”

  “Okay.” I tried to match her level of enthusiasm. “Sounds awesome.”

  “But we’ve got to be so careful!”

  “We do? Why?” I automatically tensed up.

  “Everything we do will get back to the sororities. So don’t hook up with anyone who’s not a freshman. Just because a guy says he’s single doesn’t mean it’s true and if he’s dating a sorority girl, you’ll be screwed. Oh, and I heard that Pike had some drink spikings at North Carolina so we better watch out.”

  “Right.” I nodded dutifully. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Xavier and Jordan both scowled at the prospect of their little “sisters” in the hands of drunken frat boys. Mary Ellen playfully twirled her hair around one finger and focused on Xavier.