Chapter Eight
"MY apologies, "MIsabel. I have forgotten the question. "
So had she.
And I quote. "Wow. Does she happen to be aware of that little bylaw?" Thanks, Viviane!
"I believe I asked if Gwen is guilty of this indiscretion, is she aware of the consequences of her actions?"
"What saddens me is that she is. And she is willing to risk this. As is Lancelot. "
"Doesn't seem like true love to me if Lancelot is willing to put Gwen in that kind of danger. "
"I believe they cannot help how they feel. I am understanding it more and more with every moment I am in your company. There is a phrase my mother told to me as a kidling. 'The heart wants what it wants. ' I can no more direct the wants of Gwen's heart as I can explain how I managed to remove Excalibur. As I cannot explain this . . . feeling for you. "
Isabel wasn't just flattered, she was on fire. Or, at least, her hormones were. But even as she knew the path she'd chosen, she had to play devil's advocate. Because adultery went against her fast-and-loose moral code. "Arthur, is it possible that this is a retaliation of sorts? Are you playing tit for tat? To hurt her as she's hurt you?"
"I know not of the tit-for-tat thing, but I understand retaliation. Should that have been the case, I would have chosen to take up with any number of women long afore now. 'Tis not in my nature to even events this way. "
Isabel knew this. She didn't know how, but she did. Arthur wouldn't jump into the sheets, or in this case bed furs, with another just to get back at his cheating wife. He could even have gone further, were he a vengeful jerk. He could have exposed Gwen at any moment, have her judged, found guilty and killed. Instead, he continued to protect her, no matter how much it hurt him, day in and out.
"You still love her very much," Isabel said softly.
"That I do. But not as afore. Not in the same way. 'Tis not easy to look at your wife, play the dutiful and loving husband, when you know that she yearns for another. "
Isabel suddenly realized that she was totally sober, even after the delicious cognac. Her earlier overindulgence was gone, her mind clear. Which should have made her earlier clouded judgment return to practical reality. And yet she still wanted that one kiss, and she wasn't drunkenly falling in temporary love.
Permanent lust was already a given.
She was falling, hard, but with a completely clear understanding of what this all meant. Well, shit. She had to fall back in time centuries to find the one? Fate wasn't necessarily cruel, but it had a really warped sense of humor.
"Is there no such thing as divorce in Camelot?"
"Divorce?"
"Dissolution of marriage? Annulment? Bye-bye?"
"Between a king and his queen?"
"Sure! I mean, certainly. In Dumont we allow for bad marriages to be annulled. So that the partners are free to remarry. "
"Without cause? Does not one partner have to admit to wrongdoing?"
She wasn't certain how to word it, but then just went for the big one. "It's called irreconcilable differences. No one is to blame, it just . . . is. The marriage is no longer palatable to either partner. "
He seemed to ponder that for quite a while. "I have not heard of this. When there are grievances within the bonds, I am of course faced with the task of assigning blame. The aggrieved man will then - "
"Hold it. Don't tell me it's always the man who has been aggrieved. "
"Should the woman lie with another, there is cause - "
"What if it's the man who's been cheating?"
His laughter almost echoed off the walls of the castle. "Isabel, I know not the laws in Dumont, but in all other lands of Briton, men are - "
"Held to a different standard. Of course. "
He frowned at her. "I am confounded by your sudden aggravation. "
"I'm sorry, Arthur. I just find the double standard upsetting. But I should not be surprised. And I should not be taking my irritation out on you. It is what it is. "
"Nonetheless, I apologize for upsetting you at all. "
Isabel, stop. Make his day. You are one who may teach him another way.
"No, you have been nothing but gracious. It's my fault for feeling so strongly about something that you cannot understand. "
He shook his head, chuckling. "But I wish to take up this topic again at a later date. You intrigue me, Isabel. I look forward to many more conversations with you. "
"And I, you. " She didn't know what drove her to say it, but she added, "Arthur, before we do something that we both might regret, it's time to talk to Gwen. Tell her your feelings. "
"She knows naught of my awareness. "
Isabel shrugged. "So tell her you know. Ask her to choose. After all, the heart wants what it wants. "
"At this moment, I do not know which answer I would prefer, Isabel. "
She curtsied, a little better than before. "I look forward to those future conversations, Arthur. " And, man, she looked forward to a kiss. And more. But not tonight. His attraction to her was heady, but she wasn't about to kiss a married man if he was only kissing her, or more, to show his wife that he, too, was capable of cheating in the marriage.
Arthur bowed, then straightened and looked her in the eyes. "I wanted you tonight. But I understand your reluctance. And accept your decision. "
"I appreciate that, sir. My honest advice? Talk to Gwen. "
"I admit to not wanting to hear her answers. "
"Man up, King Arthur. "