CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
It was a quiet week at Smolny. There were no social obligations, and I had time to think about Princess Cantacuzene's words. On a cold and gray afternoon, while the others were huddled in the warm parlor, drinking hot tea and reading Pushkin's fairy tales, I stayed in the drafty library with my anatomy book. But the tiny print was giving me a headache and made it difficult for me to concentrate. I needed fresh air. And solitude.
Grabbing my cloak, I persuaded the elderly doorman to let me out into the snow-covered gardens, and went for a walk to clear my head.
But I did not stay on the school grounds. I did not pay attention to where I was headed. I ignored the passing sleighs and carriages. I walked past the Tauride Gardens and along the frozen Neva River. The bitter winds swept across the ice and stung my face. I pulled my cloak closer around me. As much as I loved winter and its late-afternoon opal-colored skies, I would be happy to see the spring return.
I took the shortcut through the thicket back to the gardens. In the winter, the trees were bare, and the forest was not so dark. I heard no sounds but the crunching of my boots in the snow.
And then I heard another set of boots crunching behind me. Slower, heavier footsteps than mine.
I stopped behind a tree, holding my breath to listen more closely. I could hear my heartbeat thumping in my throat.
Slowly, the footsteps got louder. The person was getting closer, and soon I could hear a soft grunting.
Mon Dieu! I looked around, realizing I was still in the middle of the thicket, too far away to run in any direction. And no one would hear me if I screamed for help.
"Duch-essss," a young man's voice whispered. His footsteps were right behind my tree. "My mis-tressss. "
I peeked around the tree at him. I felt sick as I recognized him. It was the soldier who had fall en at the Blessing of the Water. Count Chermenensky.
His face was ashen, his eyes a milky white. "Oh, no," I whispered, shaking my head. "It cannot be. . . . "
"Duch-essss," he said, holding a frostbitten hand out to me. "Help meeee. "
"What has happened to you?" I whispered. I wanted to run, but I was so scared my legs refused to budge. "You were dead. " He bowed his head. Some of his black hair had fall en out.
"You called me. "
"No," I said hoarsely. I felt like retching. "No. "
"My mis-tressss, please help meee. "
This could not be happening. I was going to hell. This was much worse than reanimating a dead cat or an insect. "What can I do for you?" I asked him. "How can I help you? I'll take you back if I can only figure out how. " He moaned. It was a horrible, painful moan. "Pleasssse! Do not send me back! There are . . . terrible things there. . . . "
I did not know what to do with him. I didn't even know how I had summoned him, though I vaguely remembered wishing that he had not died. Could one be a necromancer and not consciously work at it? I wanted to scream and cry and run away, but I felt sorry for the poor soldier.
And responsible. He had been one of my brother's best friends. Who could I turn to for help?
There was only one person I could think of, the only person who knew what I was and had not judged me. I knew I was taking an enormous risk.
But the poor count had to find somewhere safe to hide.
"Let's get you out of the cold. We can find you something warm to eat. "
"Eat? Am I . . . hungry . . . ?"
The Cantacuzene Palace was on millionaya Street, only a few blocks away from my family home. But it was a good distance away from the woods, and of course, I did not have any rubles to hire a carriage. We would have to walk.
It was already starting to get dark. I would be in trouble when I did not show up for dinner at the institute.
I began to hum as we walked, a piece of melody from the polonaise Prince Danilo and I had danced to the week before. It seemed to appease my new friend's moaning.
We had gone a short distance when I heard silver sleigh bells approaching behind us. Suddenly, I felt alarm. How could I explain walking unchaperoned with this unkempt-looking young man?
"Duchess von Oldenburg?" I heard a familiar voice in the carriage as it slowed to a stop beside us. Oh, merde.
It was the grand duchess Xenia and her brothers, the tsarevitch and Grand Duke George. Princess Alix and her brother were with them.
Everything would not be all right.
I curtsied, trying to stay calm. "Good afternoon, Your Imperial Highnesses. How are you today?"
"Good Lord, is that poor creature with you?" the tsarevitch said, standing up in the carriage.
"Yes, Your Imperial Highness. I found him in the woods and I need to get him to the hospital. " My swift change of plans was necessary. If I asked to be brought to the princess Cantacuzene, I knew I would arouse suspicion.
And perhaps Dr. Kruglevski would be able to deal with an undead patient. I prayed so.
Grand Duke George stepped out of the carriage to check on Count Chermenensky. The count moaned softly to himself, since I was no longer humming. "Sir, are you all right?" the grand duke asked. "Can you tell me your name?"
Before the count could say anything, I responded quickly, "The poor man does not know his own name. I think he has a fever. " I hoped no one would notice the count's lifeless eyes. Or the slight smell.
"He is as cold as death!"
"No, no, I am sure he has a fever, for he is delirious," I insisted.
"And you are a medical doctor?" the grand duke asked arrogantly.
Before I said something that would land me in Siberia, I bit my tongue.
"Your Imperial Highness, would you send for a carriage to take this man to the Oldenburg Hospital? I would be eternally in your debt. "
"The military hospital is much closer. We are just down the road. "
"That will do fine, then. " As long as the military doctors did not recognize the dead count. Or ask questions I could not answer. "We can walk from here. I thank Your Imperial Highness. " I offered my arm to the count, and said, "Come along, sir. It is just a little bit farther. "
"Heavens, Georgi, we must not let them walk," the tsarevitch said.
"Duchess, please let us take you and your companion to the hospital.
There is plenty of room in our carriage. "
"You are too kind, Your Imperial Highness. " I curtsied, wishing their carriage hadn't stopped at all. "It will be all right, sir," I said to the count.
"These people are going to help us. "
The count moaned softly but allowed Grand Duke George to help him into the carriage. He behaved until he saw Princess Alix. Then something strange came over him. He began to sniff her.
"Sir!" The tsarevitch tried to push the count away from Princess Alix.
"You must not come any closer to her!"
Princess Alix gave a cry of shock.
Count Chermenensky moaned louder. "A . . . monster! Like . . . me!" With a moan that turned into a growl, he leapt at her. The carriage erupted into chaos.
The Romanov sons pulled the count off the princess and wrestled him out of the carriage. Grand Duchess Xenia and I slid over to comfort Alix.
"I am so sorry, Your Highness," I said. "This is all my fault. "
"How could you have known?" the grand duchess asked. "You were only trying to help the poor creature. "
Outside the carriage, I heard the tsarevitch and the grand duke struggling with the undead count, who was shouting bizarre things.
"Unnatural! Smelled . . . her skin!"
"He called me a monster!" Princess Alix was pale and trembling. She was descending into hysteria fast.
"Your Highness, take deep breaths for me," I said. "You are not a monster. No one believes that poor, deranged man. " The footmen helped the Romanovs subdue Count Chermenensky. He howled as they tied him up with a belt. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard a fist connecting with a he
ad. A deep thud. Could an undead person be knocked unconscious? Was he truly conscious to begin with?
"You, send for the imperial guard," I heard the tsarevitch order in his calm, quiet voice. "Have him taken to the hospital and question him after he is seen by the doctor. "
Princess Alix was shaking, as if to stop herself from crying. "Please breathe, Your Highness," I said. "Deep, slow breaths. " Grand Duchess Xenia was beginning to look scared. It was easy to forget that she was just a thirteen-year-old and had probably never witnessed such an altercation before. Or a hysterical princess who'd been accused of being a monster. For that matter, neither had I.
I grabbed hold of both Xenia's and Alix's hands. "Grand Duchess, why don't you take a few deep breaths with us? Slowly, slowly breathe in-
that's good-and now slowly, slowly breathe out. " We kept taking deep breaths, and I was starting to feel a little light-headed. The tsarevitch stuck his head in the carriage. "All right there, ladies?"
Grand Duchess Xenia giggled. "My head feels funny, Nicky. " Princess Alix was still pale but she had regained her self-control. She nodded shyly. "May we go back to my sister's palace soon?" she asked.
"My head is beginning to hurt. "
"Yes, of course," the tsarevitch said. "Are we finished here?" he asked his brother.
Grand Duke George nodded. "Nicky, you can ride back with the ladies.
I'll stay here with this poor fell ow until the guardsmen arrive. "
"No!" I shouted, climbing out of the carriage. "We mustn't wait for any guards. Let me take him to the hospital. It is not much farther down the road. "
The grand duke looked at me. I could tell he suspected something. And he was right, of course. This was all my fault. Not that I compelled Count Chermenensky to attack Princess Alix, but still, I felt responsible. I had to make it up to the princess. And to the count.
"Please, Your Imperial Highness," I said quietly. "I must see this through. " He nodded and told his brother to go ahead and leave us. "We shal be fine. Send the carriage to the hospital to pick us up. " The grand duke had a hand on Count Chermenensky's arm and was already leading him down the street. "Sir, can you tell me your name?
Where do you live?"
"I think he has amnesia," I said again, over the count's incomprehensible moaning. At least, I hoped it was incomprehensible. Would the grand duke remember the name of the soldier who had died at the Blessing of the Waters?
It was a windy day, and we were all frostbitten by the time we reached the hospital. The portly guard recognized the young grand duke immediately.
"Your Imperial Highness! What brings you to our military hospital? It is truly an honor to have you here!"
"This man with us needs medical care immediately. He was found wandering in Tauride Gardens. "
"Of course, right away, Your Imperial Highness. " An orderly helped Count Chermenensky into a wheelchair. We followed down the hallway as he was pushed into a large and cold examination room.
"Mis-tresss," the count moaned, looking at me pitifully. He reminded me of my father's favorite hunting dog.
"Have faith, sir. The doctor will make you feel better. " I patted Count Chermenensky on the shoulder.
In a low voice, the grand duke, behind me, said, "I wouldn't be too sure of that. "
I turned to him in alarm. I was afraid that he saw something with his faerie sight. Surely he could not see the cold light as I did. The dead count was bathed in a blue glow, his cold light completely uncoiled. Before I could ask the grand duke what he meant, a short Austrian doctor walked in.
"What have we here?" He grabbed the count's hand to check his pulse, and I held my breath. The count wouldn't have a pulse. Or a heartbeat. Or a breath.
"This man was found half frozen in the woods," the grand duke explained again. "We, er, believe he has amnesia. "
"Amnesia, eh? What is your name?" the gruff doctor practically shouted at the poor count.
"Count Alexander Eframovich Chermenensky," the count said. My heart sank. So much for amnesia.
"Open your mouth," the doctor said, and held the count's tongue down to look at his gray throat. Then he looked into his yellowed eyes, and at his blackened fingernails. "Ja, ja, I see now. " He turned away from his patient to wash his hands in a basin on the washstand.
"Do you know what is wrong with him?" the grand duke asked.
"Of course I know what is wrong with him. This man is suffering from hepatitis and will continue to deteriorate slowly if not properly treated. He must be sent to the Crimea for the fresher air immediately. "
"Hepatitis?" I asked. I knew I should be thankful for the misdiagnosis, but I was shocked at the doctor's incompetence. "Shouldn't you conduct blood tests or examine the man's urine before you determine what's wrong?" The doctor looked at me with disdain. He would have looked down his nose at me if he had not been two inches shorter than I. "And what would I find if I examined his water, young lady?"
"Tea-colored urine, with a strong odor, if he indeed has hepatitis. " The doctor shook his finger at me. "Mind your own business, fraulein. I have practiced medicine for thirty-six years. I have never made a wrong diagnosis. "
The grand duke stepped forward. "I beg your pardon, Doctor, but you are certainly not speaking with a mere fraulein. She is the daughter of the Duke of-"
"Mis-tressss!" Count Chermenensky whimpered, and knocked the doctor over with a large clumsy swipe of his arm. I couldn't help feeling just the tiniest bit proud for a brief second.
"Monsieur!" the grand duke said firmly. "You must control yourself. " The furious doctor stood up with my help, straightening his glasses in a huff. "Take him to the Crimea and be gone with him! Ungrateful, wretched young ruffians . . . " He stormed out of the exam room muttering to himself.
"Mis-tressss," Count Chermenensky whimpered again.
I sighed and patted him on the shoulder. "Do not worry. We will think of something. "
Grand Duke George leaned against the exam table, arms crossed. "I do not see why you found it necessary to insult the doctor. Why all the nonsense about tea and blood tests?"
"It wasn't nonsense," I said, crossing my arms too. I suddenly felt drained. Emotionally exhausted and physically tired. I slid down the wall to a sitting position. The count hunched down next to me. I sighed. "Since I was a little girl, I have wanted to be a doctor. "
"A doctor?" The grand duke looked at me as if I were crazy. "You?" I nodded. "Women are allowed to attend medical schools in Paris and Switzerland. I know I would make a good doctor. " He smirked. "Better than the one you just insulted?"
"No one should make a diagnosis of a fatal disease by merely glancing at a patient. It was irresponsible of him. " Even though it really had been in the count's best interests. I should have kept my mouth closed. If I could just get him safely to the Crimea, maybe everything would be all right.
"We must leave the man here, Duchess. I must see you back to your home safely. "
"I am grateful, Your Imperial Highness. But I must return to Smolny this afternoon, and it is only a short walk from the hospital. " I had no idea what to do with the count. I had a feeling he would become agitated if I tried to leave him.
The grand duke reached out a hand to help me stand up.
I hesitated. His hand dropped to his side. "You waltz with vampires and parade about town with undead monsters, and yet you are afraid of me, Duchess?"
"He's not a monster," I whispered, staring at the grand duke in horror. He knew. All along, he had known. And he'd seen me dancing with Danilo at Le ball Noir. I'd been too wrapped up in the crown prince's attentions even to notice. "How did you know?"
"I recognized the poor man the moment I laid eyes on him. Thank God my brother did not, or he would have told the guards. "
"I found him in the woods," I said, starting to sob. I had always hated girls who cried in front of boys. And here I was. "He called me his mistress. "
"I knew you had dark powers, but I never suspected something this terrible," he said softly. "You brought a dead man back to life. Why would you do such a thing? Did you hate him? Had he scorned your love for another?"
"How could you say such a thing? No, it was nothing like that at all!" I closed my eyes, wishing the grand duke would just leave. He always saw the worst in me. The parts I couldn't change, no matter how hard I tried. I took a deep, ragged breath. "I did nothing to bring him back. I had no idea it had even happened. Until today. When he found me. "
"You could not have done this without some sort of incantation or ritual. " I shook my head. "I swear on my life, I have never performed any rituals.
Even the moth at the Smolny ball . . . I did that on purpose, but I had only to focus on the insect, and it just happened. "
The grand duke sighed, crossing his arms. "You know what must be done. "
"No, I do not know what must be done. I do not routinely summon people from the grave and have them follow me around!"
"Lower your voice, Duchess. Or you will have more guards on your hands than you would prefer. "
I wiped the tears off my face. "I should find a way to get him to the Crimea, as the doctor suggested. Even if he doesn't have hepatitis, he would probably like the warmer climate. "
"Are you mad? He must go back where he came from. " My blood went cold as I realized what he was saying. "No," I whispered.
"Duchess, look at the poor creature. " The grand duke ran his hand through his hair. "It's no longer human. "
"Don't speak of him like that. He wouldn't hurt me. " The grand duke shook his head. "Perhaps not, but he can hurt others. He attacked Princess Alix. And the doctor. "
I sighed. I knew deep down he was right. But that didn't make it any less painful. "Did the princess smell odd to you?" I suddenly asked.
"That is not the point. " He offered his hand to me again, and this time, I took it, standing up with his help.
I looked into the grand duke's blue eyes, pleading. "Couldn't we hide him somewhere safe? Where he will not harm anyone?"
"Duchess, where in this entire city would he be safe?" He knew it was breaking my heart. "You know this must be done. " I sobbed, hating myself, and hating to admit the grand duke might be right. "There must be another way," I pleaded.
Count Chermenensky was quietly gnawing on something, which, upon closer inspection, appeared to be his own tattered clothing. Mon Dieu.
"He is no longer one of us, Duchess," the grand duke said in a low voice.
"Mis-tresss," the count whimpered, apparently not capable of saying much more than that. "Home. "
My heart was breaking for the poor creature, and I deserved every stab and pain I felt. I wished to heaven there was some way I could rid myself of this curse. How many more lives would I ruin? None if I could help it.
"Home," the count said again in a mournful voice. For an undead soldier, he had been relatively docile, and I wondered how much military action he had actually seen. Since he was the same age as my brother, probably none.
The grand duke stood at the doorway with his hand behind his back. He had his saber drawn and hidden. "Leave, Duchess. " The count only whimpered and began to nibble on his own hand.
"Hungry," he said. "Home. "
I did not move.
Apparently, the undead count was lucid enough to see what the grand duke was planning. Or perhaps he thought my life was in danger. With a sudden snarl, he leapt up and would have separated the grand duke's imperial head from his imperial shoulders if the grand duke had not been faster. George Alexandrovich spun out of the count's way and swung the saber, nicking the count on the ear.
"No!" I cried.
With a howl of pain, Count Chermenensky swung another time at the grand duke, sending him careening into the glass cabinet. The glass shattered all over the floor.
The guards pushed me out of the way as they rushed into the room. "He is mad!" the grand duke shouted, holding his arm, which had a large gash.
Count Chermenensky growled as he saw the guards approach him.
They had him backed into a corner like a wild animal. With another snarl, he turned and crashed through the window, landing on the frozen hospital grounds below.
"No!" I cried, running to the window. The count had already scrambled to his feet and dragged himself into the thicket.
The leader of the guards ordered the rest of the men to form a search party and find the missing patient. The Austrian doctor came back to the exam room and was angered when he saw all of the broken glass. "What is the meaning of this?"
As the doctor left the room muttering to himself and yelling for his nurses, Grand Duke George looked at me. "You explain to him. I've got to go after Chermenensky. "
"You cannot! Your arm is bleeding!" I reached behind him into a cabinet and pulled out a bundle of gauze and a bottle of iodine. "Let me see that. " The grand duke frowned. "There's no time. You know it's too dangerous to leave that creature running around the city!"
"I know it is too dangerous to let you run off losing blood like this. Give me your arm. " I ignored the short little doctor, who was pitching a fit about regulations in the doorway. The gash on the grand duke's arm was long.
"You are going to have a nasty scar," I said as I gently held pressure to stop the bleeding.
"All true warriors wear their scars proudly," he mumbled. "How can I be proud of this one?"
I looked up at him, horrified, as I realized what he meant. "What will your parents say?" I would be sent to Siberia. My whole family would be exiled.
If not executed.
He shook his head. "They will know about the count before too long. My father will think that I failed to protect the public from this danger. It is I who fear being sent to Siberia. "
"But . . . wait. I didn't express my fears out loud, did I?" I dropped his arm and backed away, suddenly spooked by his silvery faerie eyes. "Can you read my thoughts?"
"Sometimes, when I concentrate. " He winced and grabbed the bandage from me to apply pressure to the bleeding himself. "You are very easy to read. Most of the time. "
I blushed and could think of nothing more to say. When the bleeding had stopped, I cleaned the cut with iodine and wrapped it in gauze for him without saying another word.
The Austrian doctor returned to the room with a suture kit, wishing to sew up the grand duke's arm. But the grand duke shook his head. "Thank you, this will do, sir. Is my carriage outside?"
The guard behind him nodded.
The grand duke's face was grim and pale, but he refused any morphine, though I pleaded with the doctor to medicate him. "No, it is not necessary. I thank you for your help. We must hurry, Duchess. " I quickly followed him into the carriage. "Are we going after the count?" I asked as we drove away from the hospital.
"No, you are going back to Smolny. "
"But what about the count?"
"The guards are searching for him in the woods right now. He will be found soon, no doubt, taken for a madman, and dragged away to the asylum. "
"No. " I could see the grand duke was fighting the pain in his arm. "We can't abandon him like this. He needs our help. "
"Duchess, I believe you might belong in the asylum as well. " The carriage stopped at the Smolny Institute's front gate. The brief daylight of winter was already starting to fade. "Good day, Duchess. I hope you enjoyed our carriage ride in the woods this afternoon. My sister tells me she enjoys your company. She hopes you will join us again sometime soon. " He said this loudly, for Madame Metcherskey was standing in the portico, glaring at me with her pinched mossy-green eyes. I knew whatever punishment the grand duke was going to face, mine would most likely be worse.