Moving my legs, I managed to push myself to stand, swaying as my legs almost gave way. I gritted my teeth as my head swam. Snickering and laugher rang out around me. The guards jeered as I stood, their voices sounding like tinny bells in my ears.
A whistle sounded from somewhere far away, and a hand was pushing me forward as I stumbled until I reached a tunnel. The tunnel was dark. My vision pulsed and shimmered with black spots when the light at the end scalded my eyes.
“Go!” a voice commanded. I kept my female’s face in my mind as I pushed my leaden feet forward. My shoulders banged off the walls as I staggered into the pit. The crowd was quiet when I walked through. I lifted my head, but the spectators were a blurred line in the darkness.
I tried to search for her, but I couldn’t pin her down. I stilled, trying to listen to my opponent. I heard it late, but I heard it. The grunt of someone lifting something heavy. A light breeze bristled at the back of my head and I ducked, just as what looked like chain swung where my head had just been. Holding my Kindjals, I turned and swung, feeling the shift in weight as I connected with something. I knew I had hit my opponent, but I hadn’t struck him deeply enough.
I shook my head as I stumbled back a few steps. I blinked away the fuzziness in my eyes just in time to see a tall male running toward me, chain circling above his head, something round attached to the end.
I dived to the ground as the ball on the end of the chain smashed into the sand beside my head. I kicked out my leg as the fighter passed, bringing the tall male to the ground. My legs weren’t strong enough to hold me up. I needed to take this kill to the floor. It was my only chance.
The crowd’s volume increased. Shifting to my knees, I searched around me. I couldn’t place where my opponent was. Suddenly, a thick chain around my throat cut off my breathing. Dropping my blades, I reached up and tried to pull it away, but my opponent’s grip was too tight. I clawed at his hands, forcing my fingers to work, but he didn’t move. Praying it would work, I leaned forward. With a sudden lift, I rammed the back of my head into what I hoped was his nose.
I heard the crunch of bone breaking. I used the brief slackening of his grip on the chain to wrench the metal from his hands and throw it across the pit. I wasn’t sure how far it went, but I didn’t have a chance to check as my opponent flipped me onto my back and straddled my waist. His hands circled my throat. He squeezed, again cutting off my air supply. I kicked my legs to try to throw him off. He held fast.
Black spots began filling the limited vision I had. My eyes began to close. I wanted to let go. I wanted, in that moment, to give in to the darkness. But as my mind cleared, on the brink of death, my female’s pretty smiling face filled the void. Her face as I took her, both of us choosing to join because we wanted it. Then I pictured her being hit by Master, him throwing her in front of him to protect his sorry ass.
I couldn’t leave her alone.
Blinking my eyes open, I moved my limp hand that was lying beside me. I began dragging close to try to fight my opponent off, when my palm ran over cold steel. My heart thundered with hope as I managed to grip the handle. Hand shaking, I trusted my muscles to help me end this match.
I searched for a deep breath, but it was impossible to breathe. Knowing I was on the verge of blacking out, I used the remainder of my strength to lift my Kindjal and aim for my opponent’s head. The blade jammed against something hard, and when his fingers released my neck and warm liquid sprayed over my face, I knew I had sliced through his skull.
The fighter’s body slumped to the side, and the roar of the crowd became deafening. I gasped for breath, my throat burning as I dragged in much-needed air. But I couldn’t move. My muscles were exhausted, the drug finally taking control.
I wasn’t sure how long I lay there, but arms wrapped around me, lifted me from the floor, and began dragging me from the pit. Before I reached the tunnel, I found enough strength to turn my head to the stands, to where Master sat. He was watching me go with fury in his stare, but 152 was staring at me in relief. I thought I had smiled at her, but as the drugs took me under, I couldn’t be sure.
But my female had.
She had gifted me her secret smile away from the watchful eye of our Master.
One given freely.
Only for me.
Only ever me.
13
152
I hadn’t been sure before this moment that a heart could beat so fast yet almost break apart at the very same time. As I had watched 901 collapse into the pit, bloodied and unable to find strength, I knew that Master had hurt him, drugged him somehow. Hurt him because he had tried to save me, save me from the two champions that had attacked.
Nausea built in my throat when I thought back to the moment that Master had ordered the guard to slit 667’s mona’s throat. Her lifeless eyes as the body fell to the floor, the floor swimming in her blood. And 901 had charged the bars to reach me, reach me as Master had used me as a shield.
All to protect himself.
Master stood from his seat as 901 was dragged out of the pit by four guards. My heart swelled and burst, then regained a lost beat when a hint of a smile had pulled on his split lips.
He was so handsome. I cared for him so much, it seemed an almost impossible sensation to endure.
Master walked into a throng of people, all fussing and panicking over the champions’ attack. Master was trying his best to calm them all down, but I could see the strain and anger on his face.
A hand gripped my arm, and I found myself being forced to my feet by a guard. He guided me roughly to the beginning of a tunnel where Maya waited to take me back to my room. Her eyes were facing the floor in submission as I met her. She fell into step beside me and we hurried to follow the guard. I rushed as fast as I could through the hallways. I was glad that the guard was quick, clearly needing to return to the pit. I wanted to be alone with Maya. I needed to work out a way to get to 901.
As soon as we arrived at the door, the guard threw both Maya and me into the room. He slammed the door shut, and silence descended on us when we were left in our own company.
Maya’s head raised, and she moved to lock the bolt on the inside. When she did, I gestured with my hand to the side room to be sure we couldn’t be overheard.
As soon as the curtain was closed, sectioning us off from the rest of the room, she said, “Miss? What is happening? The entire place is in a fluster!”
I pressed my hand over my forehead and sat down on the couch. Maya crouched before me. I shook my head in disbelief at the actions of today. Maya took hold of my hand for support. I cast her a grateful smile. Meeting Maya’s eyes, I confided, “The champions revolted.”
Maya’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. “901?” she questioned in concern.
I shook my head. “He was trapped in the waiting cell. It was the other two males.” I quickly explained the rest.
Maya got to her feet and guided me to the chair in the center of the room. I sat on the vanity seat, and I sighed as she released the pins that were keeping up my hair. I groaned as her fingers raked over my scalp, and I heard Maya sigh.
“What?” I asked, feeling a nervous energy flowing from where she stood.
She walked around me slowly. “Miss,” she said softly, and I watched as a small smile spread on her lips.
“What?”
Maya took my hand. “I discovered your name.”
In a split second, my pulse raced at a heady speed. “What?” I whispered in disbelief.
Maya nodded her head and squeezed my hand. “And I know 901’s, too.”
“How?”
Maya shrugged. “I have been asking the chiri to help me.” She raised one shoulder. “We are a close community. We help one another.” Meeting my eyes, she said, “One of the chiri cleans the offices where the files for all slaves are kept. I asked her for yours and 901’s.”
My body was tense as I waited for her to reveal the biggest mystery to me. “You are Inessa Belrova, miss. From Ru
ssia.”
As she told me my name, it felt as though the invisible chains that kept me in darkness were breaking free from my soul. “Inessa … Belrova…” I repeated, and felt tears flow down my cheeks.
Maya wiped them away with her thumb, then said, “And 901 is named Ilya, Ilya Konev. He too is Russian.”
A sob slipped from my lips as I thought of 901’s, I meant Ilya’s, handsome face against that beautiful name. “Ilya,” I whispered, treasuring the sound of those letters on my tongue. “Inessa and Ilya.”
I laughed this time, the sound strained through my hoarse throat. I blinked to clear my vision. “We have names,” I said to Maya. She nodded her head. “Names,” I repeated, and this time, she laughed, too.
Leaning forward, I wrapped Maya in my arms. “How can I ever thank you?” I asked. Maya tensed. I immediately pulled back.
Her eyes dipped and she said, “Since I was sent to serve you, you have treated me as though I were alive, that I am somebody. This is worth more than I could ever give you, miss.”
“You’re wrong,” I said as my heart warmed. Maya shook her head. A sudden seriousness set in her expression. I waited patiently for her to speak.
“Miss, I found something else, too.” I held my breath as she revealed, “You had a brother, too. He was named Valentin, Valentin Belrov.”
At this moment I felt as if I were a cracked vase, taken back in time. I was the broken pieces, shattered and seeming irreparable, suddenly fixed and re-forming into a normal state.
“Valentin,” I said, and immediately saw a young boy holding me in his arms as we traveled in a small cage. I was crying, but he held me close, kissing me and making me feel safe. The boy that I waved to.
I pressed my hand over my lips. My eyes fluttered, when I whispered, “I’ll miss you.” Maya didn’t react to my words, didn’t ask why I had said it, but I explained, “When I was taken from him, when he was fighting to get me back…” A sudden image of high walls and towers flooded my mind. Snow and steep dark steps. “But I waved from far away and told him, ‘I’ll miss you.’”
My heart felt like it was cracking as an onslaught of images raced through my mind. Him as a young boy, training in the pits. Then him slightly older, near Maya’s age, with a metal collar around his neck. My hand lifted to my neck and I let my fingertips drift over the skin.
“He wore a collar,” I said, seeing a female dressed in all black using me to make him yield. “Mistress,” I said, and it was said harshly. I barely remembered the female, yet something told me that I hated her with all my being.
“Yes,” Maya clarified. “Master’s sister. She was the one who took both you and your brother away with her.”
“But I came back,” I clarified. Maya nodded sadly.
Sadly.
“What?” I questioned.
Maya sighed, then revealed, “Mistress was killed. Not too long ago. We don’t know how or by whom or even where, but she is dead.”
“And my brother?”
Maya shook her head. They didn’t know.
I pushed my brain to remember more, but nothing else would come. I was tired and confused. And Ilya …
“I want to see Ilya,” I told Maya.
She nodded sympathetically but said, “Master will not allow it, miss. If you go against his orders, you will be punished.” She glanced away, then faced me again. I knew that look. It wasn’t anything good that she was about to reveal.
She hesitated, but I urged, “Just tell me.”
Maya exhaled, then said, “Master never intends to give you to Ilya ever again. I overheard him telling his high guard that he achieved what he wanted with his gifting of you to him.”
Maya paused, but I pushed. “Tell me. Everything. Please.”
Maya closed her eyes. “He said that you are too beautiful, and he won’t have a repeat of what happened with his last High Mona. Not with you. He said that once this tournament is over, he never intends for you to set foot out of this room. He wants you to himself and only to himself. He said that he knows you feel that way, too.”
Repulsion rose in my throat. “I made him think that,” I said in devastation. “At Ilya’s cell, I made him believe that I was unaffected by Ilya. That I wanted Master.”
Maya’s eyes softened in sympathy. Her hand tightened on mine. She shook her head. “Miss, you can’t disobey Master. If he believes you want him, and then you betray him, he will surely kill you. What he did to his last High Mona was horrific. He likes you much, much more. Which means—”
“He would hurt me more,” I finished for her. “The pain would be worse.”
Maya nodded.
All I felt was sadness. Sadness and the impossibility of my situation. My hand covered my chest above my heart and I whispered, “Maya. The pain is so great in my heart when I think of not seeing Ilya again, that I feel like my heart is breaking.”
Maya didn’t say anything in response. How could she? What was there to say?
“Come, miss,” she said eventually. “Let’s get you in the bath for when Master comes back.”
“Ilya,” I said in a daze, as she led me to the main room. “His name is Ilya, I am Inessa, and I had a brother named Valentin.”
“Yes, miss.” My tears came thicker this time. Ilya didn’t know his name. Wouldn’t ever know his name if I never saw him again. And if I was confined to this room, I would never know what happened to my brother. For some strange reason, the fighter with the scarred face, 194, came to my mind. I had caught him watching me from the pits, but more disturbing than his attention was how I didn’t mind. I knew it was because he reminded me of the male that was in my dreams.
As I looked to Maya’s scarred face, I wondered if they had made him a chiri. Scars and disfigurements were nothing new in the pit—slaves were punished brutally for the smallest thing. Just like Maya. I wondered if he had somehow cared for me when I was under the drugs and didn’t even know where or who I was.
I knew I might never find out the answers to these questions. After all, this was Master’s domain and I was his favorite toy.
What Master wanted, he got.
And right now he wanted me, caged.
So I would be caged.
It was just that simple.
* * *
I shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable. All I could think of was 901. No, Ilya. I still sometimes forgot to use his name. He had a name.
Ilya.
Inessa.
Valentin.
As I kicked the sheet off my legs, there was a loud knock on the door. I sat upright. Maya appeared from the side room and shuffled across to the door. When she opened it, a guard said something to her. Maya nodded, then shut the door again.
I sat up higher. “What?”
Maya approached me and said, “Master isn’t coming to you tonight. He is entertaining his guests after the attack.”
I nodded, about to lie back down, when I suddenly froze. “Maya,” I said quietly, purposely keeping my voice low.
Maya tipped her head to the side as she listened. I threw back my sheet and slid to the end of the bed. “I need to see Ilya,” I said, his name still sounding unfamiliar yet so perfect on my lips.
“No,” Maya said, and rushed to where I sat.
“I have to,” I said, and got to my feet.
Maya took hold of my arms and searched my gaze. “You can’t, miss.”
“Inessa,” I whispered, and I felt my chest released from a weight I hadn’t known I was even carrying. “Call me Inessa, by my name. I’m not ‘Miss’ to you. We aren’t separate anymore.”
Maya didn’t reply. She was silent, but her glistening eyes informed me of how she felt. “Miss—Inessa,” she quickly corrected, “it isn’t safe, you know that.”
I noted her concern, but Ilya’s name circled my mind. Releasing Maya’s arms, I walked toward the door. “I’m going. I need to. Ilya has a name. He had a life before this pit. He is someone. I have to tell him.” I lifted my hand to
my heart. “Our names are part of our path to freedom. He has to know.”
Maya searched my eyes. Shoulders sagging, she said, “Stay here.”
Maya walked around me and opened the door. She looked back and said, “There are no guards. They are all guarding the guests, some are trying to leave after today.”
“So we can get to Ilya easily?”
Maya frowned but said, “It won’t be easy. But we can find an excuse if we need.”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t risk your life.”
“You can’t do this without me,” she replied.
“Maya—” I went to speak, but she cut me off.
“My life is forfeit every day. Any of the guards could decide to kill me, or take me against my will on a whim. More chiri die in this pit than the warriors and monebi combined. We are nothing to these people. If my life is in danger anyway, I would rather die in the cause of something good than under the hand of someone’s anger.”
“Maya,” I whispered, hating that this was her life.
Squeezing my hand, she slipped from the door and I followed behind. The hallway was unusually quiet. Keeping my feet as light as possible, I walked fast behind Maya. I kept my eyes alert, but there was barely a sound as we made our way to the champions’ quarters.
Ilya’s cell was dark when I approached. Maya opened the lock with the keys from her dress and she silently opened the door. A faint creak filled the barren hallway. I stilled, praying a guard had not been nearby. But there was nothing. Just silence.
I slipped through the doorway. Maya stood awkwardly behind. I reached back and pressed my hand against her scarred cheek. Her dark eyes looked up at me. “Go,” I whispered, but she shook her head. “Go,” I repeated. “Do not risk your life for me. I will say I left of my accord if caught.”
It appeared that she wasn’t going to move, but when I dropped my hand, she nodded in defeat and disappeared from the hallway. Steeling my nerves, I moved into the shadows of the room. I squinted my eyes, adjusting to the lack of light. One lamp was dimly lit on the far wall, blanketing the cell in a hazy yellow glow.
A quiet groan sounded from the direction of the far wall. I moved closer. On the floor sprawled a bloodied, naked Ilya. I rushed forward and bent down beside him.