Page 18 of Mules and Men


  Her name wuz Miss Pheenie and Ole Marster had uh daughter so there wuz young mens round de parlor and de porch. All in de sittin’ chairs and in de hammock under de trees. So Miss Pheenie useter stand round and peer at ’em and grin lak uh possum—wishin’ she could git courted and married.

  So one devilish young buck, he seen de feelin’ in her so he ’gin tuh make manners wid her and last thing he done, he told her says, “If you go set up on de roof uh de house all night Ah’ll marry yuh in de mawnin’.”

  It wuz uh bitter cold night. De wind searchin’ lak de police. So she clambed up dere and set straddle of de highest part cause she couldn’t stick nowhere’s else. And she couldn’t help but shake and shiver. And everytime de clock would strike de hour she’d say, “C-o-o-o-l-d on de housetop, but uh young man in de mawnin.” She kept dat up till de clock struck four, when she tumbled down, froze tuh death. But de very next night after they buried her, she took de shape of uh owl and wuz back dere shivverin’ and cryin’. And dats how come us got squinch owls.

  “Dat sho waz uh true lie, A.D.,” Carrie said. “Ah sho is wished many de time dat Miss Pheenie had uh stayed off de top uh dat house.”

  “Ah knows one ’bout uh witch woman,” A.D. went on. “Ah’ll tell dat one too, whilst Ah got mah wind.”

  “Naw, Ah don’t wanta hear bout no witches ridin’ nobody,” Baby-face Turl objected. “Ah been near rode tuh death in mah time. Can’t bear tuh hear tell of it.”

  “Well then Ah kin tell yuh bout dat talkin’ mule.

  Ole feller one time had uh mule. His name wuz Bill. Every mornin’ de man go tuh ketch ’im he say, “Come ’round, Bill!”

  So one mornin’ he slept late, so he decided while he wuz drinkin’ some coffee he’d send his son tuh ketch Ole Bill.

  Told ’im say, “Go down dere, boy, and bring me dat mule up here.”

  Boy, he sich a fast Aleck, he grabbed de bridle and went on down tuh de lot tuh ketch ole Bill.

  He say, “Come round, Bill!”

  De mule looked round at ’im. He told de mule, “Tain’t no use you rollin’ yo’ eyes at me. Pa want yuh dis mawnin’. Come on round and stick yo’ head in dis bridle.”

  Mule kept on lookin’ at ’im and said, “Every mornin’ it’s ‘Come round, Bill! Come round, Bill!’ Don’t hardly git no night rest befo’ it’s ‘Come round, Bill!’”

  De boy throwed down dat bridle and flew back tuh de house and told his Pa, “Dat mule is talkin’.”

  “Ah g’wan, boy, tellin’ yo’ lies! G’wan ketch dat mule.”

  “Naw suh, Pa, dat mule’s done gone tuh talkin’. You hatta ketch dat mule yo’ ownself. Ah ain’t gwine.”

  Ole man looked at ole lady and say, “See whut uh lie dat boy is tellin’?”

  So he gits out and goes on down after de mule hisself. When he got down dere he hollered, “Come round, Bill!”

  Ole mule looked round and says, “Every mornin’ it’s come round, Bill!”

  De old man had uh little fice dog useter foller ’im everywhere he go, so he lit out wid de lil fice right behind ’im. So he told de ole lady, “De boy ain’t told much of uh lie. Dat mule is talkin’. Ah never heered uh mule talk befo’.”

  Lil fice say, “Me neither.”

  De ole man got skeered agin. Right through de woods he went wid de fice right behind ’im. He nearly run hisself tuh death. He stopped and commenced blowin’ and says, “Ahm so tired Ah don’t know whut tuh do.”

  Lil dog run and set down in front of ’im and went to hasslin’4 and says, “Me too.”

  Dat man is runnin’ yet.

  Everybody agreed that the old man did right by running, only some thought they could have bettered his record both for speed and distance.

  “What make you love tuh tell dem skeery lies, A.D.?” Clarence Beale asked.

  Lessie Lee snuggled up to Clarence with the eyes of Eve and said, “He skeers me too, Clarence. Less me and you hug up together.” Clarence grabbed her and wrapped her up tight.

  “Youse jus’ all right, A.D. If you know another one skeerier than dat one, Ah’ll give yuh five dollars tuh tell it. And then Ah’m gointer git de job uh keepin’ de boogers offa Lessie Lee tuhnight. G’wan tell it.”

  “Yeah man!” Christopher Jenkins chimed in. “All dese frail eels gittin’ skittish. Tell some mo’ A.D. Skeer Carrie right up on me!”

  So A.D. told another one.

  This wuz uh man. His name was High Walker. He walked into a boneyard with skull-heads and other bones. So he would call them, “Rise up bloody bones and shake yo’self.” And de bones would rise up and come together, and shake theirselves and part and lay back down. Then he would say to hisself, “High Walker,” and de bones would say, “Be walkin’.”

  When he’d git off a little way he’d look back over his shoulder and shake hisself and say, “High Walker and bloody bones,” and de bones would shake theirselves. Therefore he knowed he had power.

  So uh man sold hisself to de high chief devil. He give ’im his whole soul and body tuh do ez he pleased wid it. He went out in uh drift uh woods5 and laid down flat on his back beyond all dese skull heads and bloody bones and said, “Go ’way Lawd, and come here Devil and do as you please wid me. Cause Ah want tuh do everything in de world dats wrong and never do nothing right.”

  And he dried up and died away on doin’ wrong. His meat all left his bones and de bones all wuz separated.

  And at dat time High Walker walked upon his skull head and kicked and kicked it on ahead of him a many and a many times and said tuh it, “Rise up and shake yo’self. High Walker is here.”

  Ole skull head wouldn’t say nothin’. He looked back over his shoulder cause he heard some noises behind him and said, “Bloody bones you won’t say nothin’ yet. Rise tuh de power in de flesh.”

  Den de skull head said, “My mouf brought me here and if you don’t mind, you’n will bring you here.”

  High Walker went on back to his white folks and told de white man dat a dry skull head wuz talkin’ in de drift today. White man say he didn’t believe it.

  “Well, if you don’t believe it, come go wid me and Ah’ll prove it. And if it don’t speak, you kin chop mah head off right where it at.”

  So de white man and High Walker went back in de drift tuh find dis ole skull head. So when he walked up tuh it, he begin tuh kick and kick de ole skull head, but it wouldn’t say nothin’. High Walker looked at de white man and seen ’im whettin’ his knife. Whettin’ it hard and de sound of it said rick-de-rick, rick-de-rick, rick-de-rick! So High Walker kicked and kicked dat ole skull head and called it many and many uh time, but it never said nothin’. So de white man cut off High Walker’s head.

  And de ole dry skull head said, “See dat now! Ah told you dat mouf brought me here and if you didn’t mind out it’d bring you here.”

  So de bloody bones riz up and shook they selves seben times and de white man got skeered and said, “What you mean by dis?”

  De bloody bones say, “We got High Walker and we all bloody bones now in de drift together.”

  The next day was Thursday and I got a letter from Big Sweet saying I must be back at Loughman by Saturday because that was pay night and Thelma and Cliffert were getting married and big doings would be going on.

  Friday I arrived in Loughman. Thelma and Cliffert got married on Saturday and everybody that wasn’t mad put out to give them a big time.

  The biggest crowd was over at the Pine Mill where Jim Presley was playing so I wanted to go there. Big Sweet didn’t want to go there much. At least that is what she told everybody, but she told me to go on. She might be over later. She gave me some advice about looking out for myself.

  “Don’t let nobody bring yuh nothin’ tuh eat and drink, and don’t let ’em send it neither. They liable tuh put uh spider in yo’ dumplin’. Don’t let nobody git yuh intuh no fuss, cause you can’t do dis kind uh fightin’. You don’t know no better’n tuh go face tuh face tuh fight. Lucy and dem ain’t gointer fight
nobody lak dat. They think it make ’em look big tuh cut yuh. Ah done went tuh her and put mah foot up on her door step and told her dat if she tetch yuh Ah’ll gently chain-gang fuh her, but she don’t aim tuh lemme ketch her. She mean tuh slip up on yuh sometime and hit yuh uh back hand lick wid her knife and turn her hand over right quick and hit yuh forward wid it and pull it down. Then she aims tuh run cross back yards and jump fences so fast till me and de law neither can’t find her.”

  “Well, Big Sweet, if it’s like dat, Ah speck Ah better not go out unless you be wid me,” I told her.

  “Oh yeah, you go on. You come here tuh see and lissen and Ah means fuh yuh tuh do it. Jus’ watch out. Ah could give yuh uh knife tuh tote but dat wouldn’t do you no good. You don’t know how tuh handle it. Ah got two round here. One real good one Ah got down in Tampa, and one ole froe.6 But you jus’ gwan over dere and mind what Ah tell yuh. Ahm liable tuh be dere tuhreckly mahself. And don’t git biggity wid nobody and let yuh head start more than yo’ rump kin stand.”

  I promised sincerely and took Cliffert and Thelma in the car with me to the Pine Mill.

  A new man had come from Groveland, where another big sawmill was located, and he was standing behind Jim Presley and Slim, singing new songs, and I was so glad that I had come. It didn’t take me long to learn some new ones and I forgot all about Lucy.

  Way after midnight Big Sweet came in. The place was hot by then. Everything was done got loud. The music, the dancing, the laughing, and nobody could say a thing even over the card games unless they made it sound something like singing. Heard one woman playing Coon Can sing out:

  Give mah man mah money, tuh play Coon Can

  He lost all mah money but he played his hand.

  In a little while I heard her again:

  Befo’ Ah’ll lose mah rider’s change

  Ah’ll spread short deuces and tab de game.

  Big Sweet nodded me over in a corner and said, “Ah done strowed it over on de other side dat Ahm gone home tuh bed. Jus’ wanta see whut might come off.”

  “Lucy ain’t been here atall,” I told her. “Believe she skeered you might kill her sho ’nuff.”

  “She know Ah will lessen she kill me first. Ah hates uh two-facedted heifer lak her. And Ah ain’t skeered tuh see Mah Jesus neither cause de Bible say God loves uh plain sinner and he’s married tuh de backslider. Ah got jus’ as good uh chance at Heben as anybody else. So have yo’ correct amount uh fun. Ahm settin’ right over dere in dat skin game.”

  Heard somebody at the Florida Flip game say, “Ahm gone—jus’ lak uh turkey through de corn. Deal!”

  Heard somebody else in the game say, “Beggin’” and the dealer told him, “Eat acorns.”7

  Heard Blue Baby ask Box-Car, “Who is dat new nigger over dere by de refreshments? God Amighty, ugly got de mug on him wid four wheel brakes.”

  “He’s de new skitter man.8 He sho’ ain’t nobody’s pretty baby. Bet he have tuh slip up on de dipper tuh git uh drink uh water. B’lieve Ah’ll holler at ’im. ‘Hey Ugly, who made you? Don’t start tuh lyin’ on God now.’”

  A general laugh followed this. Box-Car, a little proud of his crack, grabbed Blue Baby. “Come on less go over dere and marry Cliff and Thelma all over agin. Hey Cliff, you and Thelma git up on de floor and raise yo’ right hand. Y’all ain’t been hitched right till Box-Car git thew widja.” The couple bashfully stood up.

  “Join hands. Alright Cliff, Ahm de preacher—

  Here’s yo’ woman, here’s de ring,

  Here’s de banana, here’s de skin

  Now you married, go—

  A huge burst of laughter drowned out Box Car’s voice and when the laugh died out, I could hear Nunkie, “reading the deck” where the flip game used to be. Calling the names of the cards and laying them down rhythmically and dramatically as he read:

  Ace means the first time that Ah met you, Deuce means there was nobody there but us two, Trey means the third party, Charlie was his name, Four spot means the fourth time you tried dat same ole game, Five spot is five years you played me for a clown, Six spot, six feet of earth when de deal goes down, Now, Ahm holdin’ de seben spot for each day in de week, Eight spot, eight hours you sheba-ed wid yo’ sheik, Nine spot means nine hours Ah work hard every day, Ten spot de tenth of every month Ah brought you home mah pay, De Jack is Three Card Charlie who played me for a goat, De Queen, dat’s you, pretty mama, also tryin’ tuh cut mah throat, De King, dat hot papa Nunkie, and he’s gointer wear de crown, So be keerful y’all ain’t broke when de deal goes down.

  Nunkie looked around belligerently on the last sentence and Joe Willard jumped up and pulled at Big Sweet.

  “Play some music, Jim, y’all over dere, and less dance some mo’. Nunkie wants tuh pick uh fight wid Who Flung. Play us uh slow drag. Come on Big Sweet, less me and you have uh schronchuns dance.”

  “Dance wid Zora, honey, Ah don’t choose tuh move from where Ahm at. Ah ain’t mad wid nobody, baby, jus’ wanta set and look on uh while yet.”

  Heard the new singing man climbing up on

  Tell me, tell me where de blood red river ru-u-un

  Oh tell me where de blood red river run

  From mah back door, straight to de risin’ sun.

  Heard Slim’s bass strings under the singing throbbing like all Africa and Jim Presley’s melody crying like repentance as four or five couples took the floor. Doing the slow drag, doing the schronch. Joe Willard doing a traveling buck and wing towards where I stood against the wall facing the open door.

  Just about that time Lucy hopped up in the doorway with an open knife in her hands. She saw me first thing. Maybe she had been outside peeping a long time and there I was leaning against the wall right close to Slim. One door in the place and Lucy standing in it.

  “Stop dat music,” she yelled without moving. “Don’t vip another vop till Ah say so! Ah means tuh turn dis place out right now. Ah got de law in mah mouf.”

  So she started walking hippily straight at me. She knew I couldn’t get out easily because she had me barred and she knew not many people will risk running into a knife blade to stop a fight. So she didn’t have to run. I didn’t move but I was running in my skin. I could hear the blade already crying in my flesh. I was sick and weak. But a flash from the corner about ten feet off and Lucy had something else to think about besides me. Big Sweet was flying at her with an open blade and now it was Lucy’s time to try to make it to the door. Big Sweet kicked her somewhere about the knees and she fell. A doubled back razor flew thru the air very close to Big Sweet’s head. Crip, the new skitter man, had hurled it. It whizzed past Big Sweet and stuck in the wall; then Joe Willard went for Crip. Jim Presley punched me violently and said, “Run you chile! Run and ride! Dis is gointer be uh nasty ditch. Lucy been feedin’ Crip under rations tuh git him tuh help her. Run clean off dis job! Some uh dese folks goin’ tuh judgment and some goin’ tuh jail. Come on, less run!”

  Slim stuck out the guitar to keep two struggling men from blocking my way. Lucy was screaming. Crip had hold of Big Sweet’s clothes in the back and Joe was slugging him loose. Curses, oaths, cries and the whole place was in motion. Blood was on the floor. I fell out of the door over a man lying on the steps, who either fell himself trying to run or got knocked down. I don’t know. I was in the car in a second and in high just too quick. Jim and Slim helped me throw my bags into the car and I saw the sun rising as I approached Crescent City.

  PART II

  HOODOO

  ONE

  Winter passed and caterpillars began to cross the road again. I had spent a year in gathering and culling over folk-tales. I loved it, but I had to bear in mind that there was a limit to the money to be spent on the project, and as yet, I had done nothing about hoodoo.

  So I slept a night, and the next morning I headed my toenails toward Louisiana and New Orleans in particular.

  New Orleans is now and has ever been the hoodoo capital of America. Great names in rites that vie with those of Hayti i
n deeds that keep alive the powers of Africa.

  Hoodoo, or Voodoo, as pronounced by the whites, is burning with a flame in America, with all the intensity of a suppressed religion. It has its thousands of secret adherents. It adapts itself like Christianity to its locale, reclaiming some of its borrowed characteristics to itself, such as fire-worship as signified in the Christian church by the altar and the candles and the belief in the power of water to sanctify as in baptism.

  Belief in magic is older than writing. So nobody knows how it started.

  The way we tell it, hoodoo started way back there before everything. Six days of magic spells and mighty words and the world with its elements above and below was made. And now, God is leaning back taking a seventh day rest. When the eighth day comes around, He’ll start to making new again.

  Man wasn’t made until around half-past five on the sixth day, so he can’t know how anything was done. Kingdoms crushed and crumbled whilst man went gazing up into the sky and down into the hollows of the earth trying to catch God working with His hands so he could find out His secrets and learn how to accomplish and do. But no man yet has seen God’s hand, nor yet His finger-nails. All they could know was that God made everything to pass and perish except stones. God made stones for memory. He builds a mountain Himself when He wants things not forgot. Then His voice is heard in rumbling judgment.

  Moses was the first man who ever learned God’s power-compelling words and it took him forty years to learn ten words. So he made ten plagues and ten commandments. But God gave him His rod for a present, and showed him the back part of His glory. Then too, Moses could walk out of the sight of man. But Moses never would have stood before the Burning Bush, if he had not married Jethro’s daughter. Jethro was a great hoodoo man. Jethro could tell Moses could carry power as soon as he saw him. In fact he felt him coming. Therefore, he took Moses and crowned him and taught him. So Moses passed on beyond Jethro with his rod. He lifted it up and tore a nation out of Pharaoh’s side, and Pharaoh couldn’t help himself. Moses talked with the snake that lives in a hole right under God’s foot-rest. Moses had fire in his head and a cloud in his mouth. The snake had told him God’s making words. The words of doing and the words of obedience. Many a man thinks he is making something when he’s only changing things around. But God let Moses make. And then Moses had so much power he made the eight winged angels split open a mountain to bury him in, and shut up the hole behind them.