She could fake it for a day, act like everything was normal. Send him off with a hug and directions to be safe. Then spend the time he was gone shoring up her defenses so that he could never slip through again.
* * *
SOMETHING WAS WRONG with Sarah. Reece watched her covertly as she slid the lasagna out of the oven and onto the kitchen table. They’d been together all day—taking the kids to the park then out for pizza and to the mall for some winter clothes for the boys, as the days were finally getting cooler.
Even after they’d gotten home, he and Sarah had hung out together, watching TV, cooking dinner, playing with the kids. She’d been with him every step of the way, laughing, playing, talking. Yet she’d never seemed farther away.
He’d tried to talk to her after he’d gotten Rosie to sleep, but she’d rushed off to play pirates with the boys. He’d cornered her in the kitchen, but she’d merely laughed and kissed him until he forgot his name let alone whatever it had been he wanted to ask her.
But even her kisses had been different than usual—still hot and mind-numbing, but it was as if she’d turned a part of herself off. As if that special part of her that made her Sarah was missing.
With a sigh, he slid Rosie into her high chair and started to feed her the mashed carrots and applesauce that Sarah had set out. Part of him wanted to confront her right now—to say to hell with everything else until they got settled whatever it was that had her so upset.
But he was adult enough to realize that this wasn’t the time—not with the kids awake and still hyped up from their “super-duper day,” as Justin had taken to calling it. So Reece kept his mouth shut as he fed Rosie. Bit his tongue while he helped Sarah clean up after dinner. And gritted his teeth through the endlessly long ritual of getting the boys settled for the night while Sarah fed the baby.
When the kids were finally asleep and the house was quiet, he went in search of Sarah. He started in Rosie’s room, but the baby was sound asleep in her crib, her mother nowhere to be found.
He could feel his own anger building as he hunted, checking first downstairs then heading back upstairs to her bedroom. Was it hypocritical of him to be this upset at Sarah for retreating after they’d made love, when he had done much the same thing after their first explosive kiss?
Perhaps, but after a long day of trying to talk to her, he wasn’t inclined to make excuses for her behavior—or his own. He just wanted to have it out so that he could have the sweet, sexy woman he’d come to know in his arms.
Why couldn’t she yell and shout? This sulking and holding things to herself was enough to drive a man insane, especially one who was desperate to figure out what was going on in her head.
He found Sarah in her bedroom, sitting in front of her makeup table, spinning a ring between her fingers. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so many questions he wanted to ask.
Keeping his smile in place and a rein on his temper, he started with the inane. “What is that?” He nodded to the ring.
It took her so long to answer that he started thinking she was deliberately ignoring him. But finally she said, her voice low and subdued, “My wedding band.”
It wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting and it hit him in the gut, ripping out his stomach and heart with one fatal blow. Shock—and fear—carried him across the room. Was she regretting sleeping with him because he wasn’t her husband? Was she upset that she’d given in to the overwhelming heat between them?
He didn’t know how to ask, didn’t have a clue what to say. But she wasn’t talking and unless he wanted to leave, he had to think of something.
“Do you still love him?” He tried to keep his voice gentle even as he wanted to howl in outrage. How could she love that bastard? He’d married her, gotten her pregnant then abandoned her before the twins were even born. Mike was a selfish ass—
Reece froze as the parallels slowly hit him. Hadn’t he done the same thing to her? Gotten Sarah pregnant—albeit not in the conventional sense—and then left her, pregnant and alone because he couldn’t deal?
Shame ate at him, silencing the burn of anger that had kept him going for most of the afternoon. As he got out of his head, he realized Sarah hadn’t answered him. Hadn’t responded to the question at all.
“You don’t have to answer that.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him, smiling that same damn wrong smile that had driven him crazy all afternoon. “I hadn’t planned on it.”
“Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?” He crossed the room and crouched down next to her so that they were eye to eye. “You’ve been acting strangely all day.”
“Noth—”
“Don’t say nothing, damn it,” he exploded, the anger closer to the surface than he’d thought. “I know something’s upset you.”
Sarah tossed her head back and stood, fury in every line of her body. “Don’t you dare come into my bedroom and order me around. Do I chase you down and demand that you tell me everything going on in your head?”
“That’s different.” Even as he said it, the words sounded lame to him.
“Oh, really? You want to tell me exactly why it’s different?”
“You’re shutting me out, Sarah, and it’s driving me crazy.”
She laughed, but it was a bitter, twisted sound. “You were never in, Reece. It’s hard to shut you out of something I never gave you access to.”
Anger flared, but he tamped it down. Now wasn’t the time, not when Sarah was hurting. And she was hurting, even if she wasn’t willing to admit it to him.
He wrapped his hands around her wrists. “Sarah, baby—”
“Let it go, Reece.” She shook her head. “It’s been a strange day and I’m feeling a little off.”
He wanted to push, to break through the barriers she’d erected between them, but he was smart enough to know that wouldn’t help his cause. Perhaps if he eased it out of her…
“Do you want me to leave?”
Hurt flashed in her eyes, even as they widened. “The house?”
“I meant your room, but of course, you’ve got the other alternative.”
“You’re being ridiculous, Reece.”
“Am I?” He nudged her close, shutting his eyes at the feel of her body pressed so intimately against his own. “I want to be with you, Sarah.”
She pulled back, stared into his eyes for what felt like an eternity. “Do you?”
“More than I want my next breath.”
“Then stay.” The words were wrenched from her, but the eyes staring back at him were solid. Resolute. “Make love to me.”
For long seconds they stayed where they were, eyes locked, hearts beating in the same rhythm. Finally, when he could take no more of the sexual tension stretching so tightly between them, he trailed one finger down her bare forearm.
Sarah was his and tonight he would claim her so well and so powerfully that when the morning came and he had to leave, there would be no misunderstanding about who she belonged to. Mike and his damn ring could go to hell.
Goose bumps rose wherever Reece touched, then spread to encompass Sarah’s whole body. She shivered violently and he asked, “Are you cold?” But Sarah could see his grin, knew that Reece was aware of what was making her shudder.
Maybe she was being stupid to do this. Maybe she was asking for heartbreak. But as she’d gone through the day with him and seen his genuine joy in Rose and Justin and Johnny, she had begun to question her interpretations of his motives.
He hadn’t acted like a man caught in the grip of debilitating guilt. He had laughed and teased and played with the kids until they were completely worn-out. And he had treated her like a lover—stealing kisses whenever the kids’ attention was directed elsewhere. Touching her intimately, whispering sweet and sexy things in her ears. In short, behaving like a man who was perfectly content where he was.
So, somewhere along the way, she’d decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. To trust him—if not with her soul, t
hen at least with her very fragile heart. If her trust proved misguided, then she would be the only one to suffer. But if it wasn’t—that thought was the most tantalizing of all. If her trust was justified, her whole world would be a better place.
“Sarah?” Reece’s voice was low, a gravelly whisper that sent shivers of arousal down her spine. “Where’d you go?”
She shook her head. “I’m right here.”
They were standing so close that his breath had become hers, his heartbeat pulsing in perfect rhythm to her own. She took a moment to revel in the intimacy of being this close to him before giving in to the demand that was thrumming through her body.
Her body was on fire, the need she had for him growing with every second. Besides, she was sure—now that she knew to be wary—that she could handle it. Could stop herself from giving him everything.
Tilting her head, she relished the feel of his warm breath against her neck. She might not be willing to give him her soul, but she could give him her body. And take his in return—tonight and for as long as she had him.
“Kiss me,” she murmured, sliding her hands up his chest to link behind his neck.
His grin was almost feral. “With pleasure.”
Then his mouth was on hers and she forgot that he was leaving tomorrow, forgot all the excuses she’d given herself as she lay awake nights wanting him. And let herself feel. Just feel.
He pulled her closer, so that the softness of her breasts pressed against the hard muscles of his chest. Her nipples ached and she rubbed against him desperate for relief. His fingers fisted in her hair, tilting her head back so that his mouth fused tightly to hers.
He devoured her—there was no other word for it—and she let him. Welcomed him. His hands tugged harshly on her hair while his mouth crushed hers with a wild abandon that excited her almost beyond bearing. She wanted more, needed more.
Slipping her hands between them, she tore at his shirt—heedless of the buttons that scattered. He laughed wickedly and shrugged out of the shirt.
“Is this what you want?” he asked as he went to work on her buttons. Within moments he had divested her of her blouse and bra and they were skin to skin. She gasped with the exquisite relief of it.
“Not yet,” she answered, breathlessly, her hands moving restlessly over his chest and shoulders. Relishing the hard planes and muscles that were so different than her own softness. “But soon.”
He groaned, then slid his hands up to cup her face. Easing away, he slowed things down for a moment. “You are so beautiful.” His voice was soft, reverent, and she felt her heart tremble in her chest. She tried to ignore it, to force her emotions back, but she couldn’t do it. Not now, not with Reece. No matter how much it would hurt later on.
“So are you.” Following his rhythm, she let her fingertips trail lightly over his nipples and down his flat stomach. She found the small line of hair that started below his belly button and began to stroke it, letting her fingers delve past his belt buckle a little more with each sweeping pass.
He leaned down and crushed her mouth with his. Claimed her—with his tongue and teeth and terrible hunger. And she relished the feel of him, the light, citrusy taste of him so at odds with the dangerous need she could feel building between them.
His hands cupped her breasts and he bent his head to take one hard nipple into his mouth. She bucked against him, moaning even as she arched to give him better access.
“More,” she demanded, her hands tangling in his hair as her womb contracted tightly. Emptily.
“Soon,” he said, lifting his head and moving to her other breast and suckling her.
She went wild, her body rocking against his. She was warm and wet and empty—so empty. All she wanted was for him to fill her, to take the chill away. But he was taking a wicked delight in tormenting her.
Reaching down, she fumbled with his belt buckle, her fingers suddenly unable to perform the simplest of tasks. “Take them off,” she demanded and he chuckled hotly.
Thrusting her away from him, Reece stripped his pants off then did the same for her. He was deliberately rough, deliberately harsh, and the excitement spiraling between them spun out of control.
Sarah ran her fingers down his hard length, and he shuddered, staring at her from under half-closed lids. Sarah wasn’t sure what she found more arousing—the hot, silkiness beneath her fingers or the look of barely leashed desire on his face. All she knew was that if he didn’t take her soon she would spontaneously combust, right here in the middle of her bedroom.
As if he could read her thoughts, he pressed his fully aroused body against hers and walked her backward until they bumped against her bed. Grinding her hips against his, she encouraged him, and he groaned as her wetness glided over him. Then pressed more fully against her as he cupped her breasts in his hands and stroked her nipples with his thumb.
Sarah cried out—she couldn’t help herself—and he bent to muffle the cry with his mouth. She was playing a dangerous game and she knew it, but was helpless to stop it in the face of her great need for him. Tomorrow would come, leaving her heartbroken and in pieces, but wasn’t that better than the cold shell she had surrounded herself with these past years. Feeling something, anything, was better than the numbness that had hung around for far too long.
Lack of feeling wasn’t a problem with Reece—with every stroke of his hand waves of sensation rippled through her until she was nearly incoherent with desire. “More,” she demanded, grabbing his face in her hands and pulling his mouth to hers for a hot, hungry kiss that was all sharp teeth and insistent lust. “I want everything.”
“Yes.” His eyes were hard, his mouth grim as he gave in to the passion that flared between them. Spinning her around, he lay down on the bed and slowly brought her to rest above him.
She gasped as he entered her. Then he moved and she lost the ability to do anything but feel. Leaning forward, he nibbled her chin and throat before trailing his lips down to nip at the underside of her breast. Panting, nearly sobbing with need, she rose and fell so that he drove even more deeply inside of her.
“Yes, baby. That’s it,” he said, his hips surging forward to meet her. Her eyes drifted shut and he growled low in his throat, his fingers lifting to clamp on her chin. Their eyes met, locked, and he smiled grimly. “Look at me,” he murmured, the melted chocolate of his eyes nearly electric with passion. “I want you to see me when I take you.” He emphasized his words with a hard thrust that made her see stars.
And then he was moving—thrusting and withdrawing so slowly that she thought she would lose what little mind she had left. She tried to hurry him up, but his hands held her hips in an iron grip as he controlled the easy—excruciating—pace of their lovemaking.
Nothing existed for her but him and this moment and the lush, amazing feelings he was evoking inside of her. She wanted to linger over him so that she could feel like this forever. She wanted to race to completion, her body starving for orgasm. But she could do neither as she was caught by him, totally at his mercy.
“Reece,” she whimpered, when she could take no more. “Please.”
Slipping a hand between them, he stroked her and that easily she came—her body spinning wildly out of her control as spasm after spasm ripped through her. Moments later he joined her, his harsh groan mingling with the soft cries she couldn’t hold back.
A long time later, as she listened to Reece’s heavy breathing beside her, Sarah battled tears. Reece had given her the most beautiful sexual experience of her life, yet she’d never felt so lost. Every part of her felt empty. She’d given Reece everything she had to give, had poured every part of herself into him despite her need to hold back. And now, as the long night stretched ahead, she was left with one question. Was it enough to keep him with her?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“SO, HAVE YOU HEARD from Reece lately?” Tad called from the couch where he was eating potato chips and watching Monday Night Football. Pamela had gone out of town on a business t
rip and Sarah had invited him over for dinner to save her happy-go-lucky brother from the debacle of his own cooking.
And to keep herself from brooding, but that was another story altogether.
“Last night.” She didn’t pause in mixing up the batch of brownies she had promised the twins for dessert.
“How long’s he been gone now?” Tad’s voice came from right over her shoulder and Sarah jumped, splashing chocolate batter all over the counter and herself.
“Geez, sis, you’re kind of jumpy.” Tad grinned as he dipped one massive finger in the bowl for a taste.
She continued what she was doing, ignoring him easily. It was only after she’d poured the batter into a greased pan and popped that pan into the oven that she realized he was still standing behind her, silently waiting.
“Is there something you need?” she asked.
“You didn’t answer me.”
“About what?” She feigned an ignorance she really wished she felt.
“About Reece.” His blue eyes—so similar to her own—stared at her with a mixture of amusement and concern. “How long, sis?”
“Almost three weeks.” She winced at the look on his face, but didn’t say a word. What could she say? Tad had been there when their father had walked out. He’d seen her after Mike had left. Was it any wonder he seemed more than a little wary of her feelings for Reece?
“I’m fine, by the way,” she said, faking bravado.
His answering snort told her she hadn’t been nearly as convincing as she’d hoped. “Is he coming back?”
Trust Tad to cut right to the chase. “Is that any of your business?”
“Seeing as how I have to chase him down and beat the crap out of him if he doesn’t come back, yeah, I think it is my business.”
Her bruised heart warmed at his words. It was nice to know that there were still some dependable men in the world. They might be few and far between, but at least they existed. “No one’s beating up anyone.”