Thanne sholde men take of chastitee no cure.138
Crist was a maide, and shapen139 as a man,
140 And many a seint sith that the world bigan,
Yet lived they evere in parfit chastitee.
I nil142 envye no virginitee;
Lat hem be breed of pured143 whete-seed,
And lat us wives hoten144 barly-breed –
145 And yet with barly-breed, Mark telle kan,
Oure Lord Jesu refresshed many a man.
In swich estat as God hath cleped us
I wol persevere; I nam nat precius148.
In wifhode149 wol I use min instrument
150 As frely150 as my makere hath it sent.
If I be daungerous151, God yeve me sorwe!
Min housbonde shal it have bothe eve and morwe,
Whan that him list153 com forth and paye his dette.
An housbonde wol I have, I wol nat lette154,
155 Which shal be bothe my dettour and my thral155,
And have his tribulacioun withal156
Upon his flessh, whil that I am his wif.
I have the power during al my lif
Upon his propre body, and nat he.
160 Right thus th’Apostle tolde it unto me,
And bad oure housbondes for to love us wel;
Al this sentence162 me liketh everydel.’
Up stirte163 the Pardoner, and that anon:
‘Now, dame,’ quod he, ‘by God and by Seint John,
165 Ye been a noble prechour165 in this cas!
I was aboute to wedde a wif, allas!
What! sholde I bye167 it on my flessh so deere?
Yet hadde I levere168 wedde no wif to-yeere!’
‘Abide,’ quod she, ‘my tale is nat bigonne.
170 Nay, thow shalt drinken of another tonne170,
Er that I go, shal savoure171 wors than ale.
And whan that I have toold thee forth my tale
Of tribulacioun in mariage,
Of which I am expert174 in al min age –
175 This is to seye, myself hath been the whippe –
Thanne maystow chese176 whether thow wolt sippe
Of thilke tonne that I shal abroche177.
Be war of it, er thow to neigh178 approche!
For I shal telle ensamples mo than ten.
180 “Whoso that nil be war by180 othere men,
By him shal othere men corrected be.”
Thise same wordes writeth Ptholome;
Rede in his Almageste, and take it there.’
‘Dame, I wolde praye yow, if youre wil it were,’
185 Seide this Pardoner, ‘as ye bigan,
Telle forth youre tale; spareth186 for no man,
And teche us yonge men of youre praktike187.’
‘Gladly,’ quod she, ‘sith it may yow like188.
But yet I praye to al this compaignye,
190 If that I speke after my fantasye190,
As taketh nat agrief of191 that I seye,
For min entente nis but for to pleye.
‘Now sire, thanne wol I telle yow forth my tale.
As evere moot I drinken win or ale,
195 I shal seye sooth: tho195 housbondes that I hadde,
As three of hem were goode, and two were badde.
The thre men were goode, and riche, and olde.
Unnethe mighte they the statut holde198
In which that they were bounden unto me –
200 Ye woot wel what I mene of200 this, pardee!
As help me God, I laughe whan I thinke
How pitously a-night I made hem swinke202.
And by my fey203, I tolde of it no stoor.
They hadde me yeven204 hir land and hir tresoor;
205 Me neded nat do lenger diligence
To winne hir love, or doon hem reverence206.
They loved me so wel, by God above,
That I ne tolde no deintee of208 hir love.
A wis womman wol bisye hir209e evere in oon
210 To gete hir210 love, ye, theras she hath noon.
But sith I hadde hem hoolly in min hond,
And sith they hadde me yeven al hir lond,
What213 sholde I taken kepe hem for to plese,
But214 it were for my profit and min ese?
215 I sette hem so a-werke215, by my fey,
That many a night they songen “weilawey!”
The bacon was nat fet217 for hem, I trowe,
That som men han in Essex at Donmowe.
I governed hem so wel after my lawe,
220 That ech of hem ful blisful was and fawe220
To bringe me gaye thinges fro the feire221.
They were ful glad whan I spak to hem feire222,
For God it woot, I chidde hem spitously223.
‘Now herkneth how I bar me224 proprely.
225 Ye wise wives that konne understonde,
Thus sholde ye speke and bere hem wrong on honde226,
For half so boldely kan ther no man
Sweren and lien as a womman kan.
I sey nat this by229 wives that ben wise,
230 But if it be230 whan they hem misavise.
A wis wif, if that she kan hir good231,
Shal beren him on hond the cow is wood,232
And take witnesse of hir owene maide
Of hir assent234 – but herkneth how I saide.
235 ‘ “Sir olde kainard235, is this thin array?
Why is my neighebores wif so gay236?
She is honoured overal ther237 she goth;
I sitte at hoom; I have no thrifty cloth238.
What dostow at my neighebores hous?
240 Is she so fair? artow so amorous?
What rowne ye241 with oure maide, benedicite?
Sire olde lechour, lat thy japes242 be!
And if I have a gossib243 or a freend,
Withouten gilt, thou chidest as244 a feend
245 If that I walke or pleye unto his hous.
Thow comest hoom as dronken as a mous,
And prechest on thy bench, with ivel preef247!
Thow seyst to me, it is a greet meschief248
To wedde a povre womman, for costage249,
250 And if that she be riche, of heigh parage250,
Thanne seystow that it is a tormentrye251
To suffre hir pride and hir malencolye252.
And if that she be fair, thow verray knave,
Thow seyst that every holour254 wol hire have.
255 She may no while in chastitee abide,
That is assailed upon ech a256 side.
‘ “Thow seyst, som folk desire us for richesse,
Somme for oure shap, and somme for oure fairnesse,
And somme for she kan either singe or daunce,
260 And somme for gentillesse and daliaunce260,
Somme for hir handes and hir armes smale261 –
Thus goth al to the devel, by thy tale262!
Thow seyst men may nat kepe a castel wal,
It may so longe assailled been overal.
265 And if that she be foul265, thow seyst that she
Coveiteth every man that she may se,
For as a spaniel she wol on him lepe
Til that she finde som man hir to chepe268;
Ne noon so grey goos goth ther in the lake
270 As, seystow, wol be withoute make270.
And seyst it is an hard thing for to welde271
A thing that no man wol, his thankes272, helde.
Thus seystow, lorel273, whan thow goost to bedde,
And that no wis man nedeth for to wedde,
275 Ne no man that entendeth unto275 hevene –
With wilde thonder-dint276 and firy levene
Moote thy welked277 nekke be to-broke!
‘ “Thow seyst that dropping278 houses, and eek smoke,
And chiding wives maken men to flee
280 Out of hir owene house – a, benedicitee,
What eileth swich an old man for to chide?
r /> ‘ “Thow seyst we wives wil oure vices hide
Til we be fast283, and thanne we wol hem shewe.
Wel may that be a proverbe of a shrewe284!
285 ‘ “Thow seyst that oxen, asses, hors, and houndes,
They been assayed at diverse stoundes286,
Bacines287, lavours, er that men hem bye;
Spoones, stooles, and al swich housbondrye288,
And so be pottes, clothes, and array289,
290 But folk of wives290 maken noon assay
Til they be wedded, olde dotard shrewe!
And thanne, seystow, we wil oure vices shewe.
‘ “Thow seyst also that it displeseth me
But if294 that thow wolt preise my beautee,
295 And but thow poure alwey upon295 my face,
And clepe296 me ‘faire dame’ in every place,
And but thow make a feeste on thilke day
That I was born, and make me fressh and gay,
And but thow do to my norice299 honour,
300 And to my chamberere300 withinne my bour,
And to my fadres folk and his allies301;
Thus seystow, olde barel-ful of lies302!
‘ “And yet of oure apprentice, Janekin,
For his crispe304 heer, shining as gold so fin,
305 And for he squiereth305 me bothe up and doun,
Yet hastow caught a fals suspecioun;
I wil him nat307, thogh thow were deed tomorwe!
‘ “But tel me this, why hidestow, with sorwe308,
The keyes of thy cheste awey fro me?
310 It is my good as wel as thin, pardee!
What, wenestow make311 an idiot of oure dame?
Now, by that lord that called is Seint Jame,
Thou shalt noght bothe, thogh that thow were wood313,
Be maister of my body and of my good.
315 That oon thow shalt forgo, maugree thine eyen315.
What nedeth thee316 of me enquere or spyen?
I trowe thow woldest loke317 me in thy chiste!
Thow sholdest seye, ‘Wif, go wher thee liste.
Taak youre disport; I nil nat leve319 no talis.
320 I knowe yow for a trewe wif, dame Alis.’
We love no man that taketh kepe or charge321
Wher that we goon; we wol been at oure large322.
‘ “Of alle men yblessed moot he be,
The wise astrologen324, daun Ptholome,
325 That seyth this proverbe in his Almageste:
‘Of alle men his wisdom is hieste
That rekketh nat327 who hath the world in honde.’
By this proverbe thow shalt understonde,
Have thow inogh, what thar thee rekke or care329
330 How mirily that othere folkes fare?
For certes, olde dotard, by youre leve,
Ye shal han queinte right inogh332 at eve.
He is to greet a nigard that wil werne333
A man to lighte a candel at his lanterne;
335 He shal han never the lasse light, pardee!
Have thow inogh, thee thar nat pleine thee336.
“‘Thow seyst also, that if we make us gay
With clothing and with precious array,
That it is peril of oure chastitee.
340 And yet – with sorwe340 – thow most enforce thee,
And seye thise wordes in th’Apostles name:
‘In habit342 maad with chastitee and shame
Ye wommen shal apparaille yow343,’ quod he,
‘And nat in tressed heer344 and gay perree,
345 As perles345, ne with gold, ne clothes riche.’
After346 thy text, ne after thy rubriche,
I wol nat werke as muchel as a gnat!
‘ “Thow seidest this, that I was lik a cat,
For whoso wolde senge349 a cattes skin,
350 Than wolde the cat wel dwellen in350 his in;
And if the cattes skin be slik351 and gay,
She wol nat dwelle in house half a day.
But forth she wole, er any day be dawed353,
To shewe hir skin and goon a-caterwawed354.
355 This is to seye, if I be gay, sire shrewe355,
I wol renne out, my borel356 for to shewe.
‘ “Sire, olde fool, what helpeth thee357 t’espyen?
Thogh thow preye Argus with his hundred eyen
To be my warde-corps359, as he kan best,
360 In feith, he shal nat kepe me but me lest360.
Yet koude I make his berd, so moot I thee!361
‘ “Thow seidest eek that ther ben thinges three,
The whiche thinges troublen al this erthe,
And that no wight may endure the ferthe364 –
365 O leeve sire shrewe, Jesu shorte365 thy lif!
Yet prechestow and seyst an hateful wif
Yrekened is for oon of thise mischaunces.
Been ther noone othere manere resemblaunces
That ye may likne youre parables to,
370 But if a sely wif be oon of tho?370
‘ “Thow liknest eek wommanes love to helle,
To bareine lond, ther water may nat dwelle.
Thow liknest it also to wilde fir373:
The moore it brenneth374, the moore it hath desir
375 To consume every thing that brent375 wol be.
Thow seyst, right as wormes shende376 a tree,
Right so a wif destroyeth hir housbonde;
This knowen they that been to wives bonde378.”
‘Lordinges, right thus, as ye han understonde,
380 Bar I stifly mine olde housbondes380 on honde
That thus they seiden in hir dronkenesse;
And al was fals, but that I took witnesse
On Janekyn and on my nece also.
O Lord, the peine I dide hem and the wo,
385 Ful giltelees, by Goddes swete pine385!
For as an hors I koude bite and whine386.
I koude pleine387 and I was in the gilt,
Or elles often time I hadde been spilt388.
Whoso that first to mille comth, first grint389;
390 I pleined first, so was oure werre390 ystint.
They were ful glad t’excusen hem ful blive391
Of thing of which they nevere agilte392 hir live.
‘Of wenches wolde I beren hem on honde,
Whan that for sik394 they mighte unnethe stonde.
395 Yet tikled I his herte, for that he
Wende396 that I hadde of him so greet chiertee.
I swoor that al my walking out by nighte
Was for t’espye wenches that he dighte398;
Under that colour399 hadde I many a mirthe.
400 For al swich wit400 is yeven us in oure birthe;
Deceite, weping, spinning, God hath yeve401
To wommen kindely402, whil they may live.
And thus of o thing I avaunte me:403
Atte ende404 I hadde the bet in ech degree,