She’d never fully embrace the life of submission, but I didn’t need that.
I didn’t want a woman who’d let me take her over—I’d been taken over.
But I wanted a woman who’d give herself up to me. Who’d yield.
That’s what dominance was about after all. The trust of it, the yielding. A woman—or a man—trusting their dominant enough to yield. I wanted that from Aleena. I wanted her to trust me and yield and give herself over.
I could almost picture her on her knees, chin up but eyes down, her breasts rising and falling with each breath.
I wished I’d turned on the light that night so I could’ve seen every inch of her. I knew the feel and the taste and the shape of her nipples, but I didn’t know the color. I knew she had a neat patch of curls between her thighs—I usually made my lovers wax, but I hadn’t minded with Aleena. Now I wanted to see those curls, to spread her open and lick her, clean her, then make her wet all over again.
More than that, I wished I would’ve taken my time with her.
I wanted to see her on her knees, wanted to watch that pretty mouth part around my cock, watch as she took me as deep as she could and then I’d work with her until she could take me deeper. I wanted to teach her to take my cock into her throat.
My stomach clenched and my cock grew even harder. I swore and the words came out low and rough.
I imagined it was Aleena’s hands on me. I shouldn’t be thinking about her this way. Wondering what it would be like to introduce Aleena to my lifestyle. Seeing those wide, innocent eyes looking up at me while I fucked her mouth. Watching how her light golden skin flushed with pink as I spanked her or used a flogger.
I imagined bringing her to the edge, then taking her over. Holding her as she calmed. Would she cry? The first few times a dominant brought a sub to the edge could be emotional—even beyond those first few times, it could be emotional. I’d had more than a few women cry after…
After.
Swallowing, I rose from the couch and started to pace.
I didn’t like to think about after. I was considered to be a kind dominant, even though I’d gotten more selective. I wasn’t looking to be a therapist and if I suspected any sub I was interested in was as fucked up as I was, then I looked for…calmer pastures.
But it didn’t always happen.
Sometimes, a woman cried in my arms and when it ended, I felt like an ass when I bundled her up and send her home with my driver. Very few people drove in New York and I sure as hell wasn’t putting a partner of mine into a taxi if she was going through some serious emotional upheaval.
Aleena had been the one to hold me, though. And there would be no cabs, no drivers. She lived with me—or at least, she lived under my roof or on my property.
Agitated, when my cellphone rang, I grabbed it, thinking a call would distract me and I could stop thinking about this, even if only for a few minutes.
I realized a second after I’d answered what a mistake that had been.
“Hello, Mom.”
Chapter 9
Aleena
After two weeks, you’d think I could forget about that night.
Or at least put it up on a shelf—like a keepsake.
A hot, sexy, torrid, it-really-shouldn’t-have-happened keepsake. I sighed. But it had happened, so I needed to-deal-with-it sort of keepsake.
It didn’t work, though.
The only thing that halfway kept me from reliving it over and over was work—as in working nonstop.
Fortunately, there was plenty to keep me busy.
Dominic was constantly throwing more work at me, from cleaning the office at the penthouse, then the office at the main house and when that was all done, he had me start digging up information on a business down in Philadelphia.
But as busy as I was, even when I fell down face-first into exhaustion, I couldn’t keep myself from dreaming.
More than once, I’d woken up breathing heavily, my heart racing. Sometimes, I would wake up, my hand inside my panties and I’d roll over and muffle my moans into my pillow.
He was my boss. I lived with him. What had happened was in the past and it had been a mistake. Momentary weakness brought on by sympathy for whatever he’d been going through combined with a bout of homesickness compounded by the loneliness of not having spent much time with Molly.
A trifecta of excuses.
That sounded good enough to keep me from completely freaking out. For the first couple of days at least. As more time passed and the tension between us didn’t go away, I started to wonder if I’d completely screwed everything up.
There were times in a girl’s life when there are only two things you can reach for—your phone and your wine.
I grabbed one of the bottles I’d picked up—Dominic had been subtly teaching me the finer points of alcohol and I’d fallen in love with Italian wines, especially once I’d figured out how affordable some of them were. Even though I was making a lot more money than before, growing up middle-class had taught me to respect the almighty dollar.
Then I grabbed my Bluetooth. Fawna had told me that I’d grow to love it and she was right.
By the time I hit the kitchen, I had Molly on the line.
“Aleena!”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Hey, Moll.”
“Are we still on for next week?”
“Yeah.” I’d almost forgotten. Checking my phone, I saw that I still had the note on my calendar, along with a note that I had emailed Dominic and he’d emailed back. I had the weekend off. “I’m not catching you at work, am I?”
Even though she wasn’t allowed to have her phone on the floor, I knew Molly didn’t always follow the rules, and if she’d seen it was a call from me, she might’ve answered the phone anyway.
“No,” she said. “I have the day off. Worked a double both Saturday and Sunday.”
“That sucks,” I said as I tugged down a box of pasta. Francisco had told me he could teach me to make fresh pasta, but I’d politely declined. I’d rather spend what little free time I had doing something other than make spaghetti by hand.
“It is what it is,” she said breezily. “But I know you didn’t call to listen to me complain about work. What’s up?”
I took a deep breath. Here it was. I had two choices. I could lie and tell her I’d missed her and just wanted to talk, which wasn’t technically a lie since I really had missed her. Or, I could be honest and spill my guts about all that had happened over the past two weeks.
After a moment of a brief but intense internal debate, I picked the latter. “I did something really stupid.”
“Spill.” Molly’s voice went from carefree to serious in a second.
“When I first met Dominic, I thought he was hot, you know?”
“Well, yeah,” she said. “You like guys and have eyes. Not much else needs to be said about that. The man’s gorgeous.”
“Thing is, Molly, he’s not just good-looking.”
“He’s rich, too,” she added.
“Well, yeah…but…look, he’s more than that. He’s decent to work for. A lot better than Gary, for sure.” Then I grimaced. “Not that he can’t be an ass, but we all have our moments.”
As I put some water on, Molly said, “Get to it, honey. Whatever it is…oh, hell. Are you falling for this guy?”
Silence was my only answer.
“Shit, Aleena, are you falling for him?” she asked again.
I closed my eyes and leaned on the counter. “I don’t know, Molly.”
She was quiet a moment and then softly, she said, “You know, we can’t always pick and choose with this kind of thing, but…do you think that’s wise?”
For a moment, I just stared down in the pot of water.
“I don’t think I really have much choice,” I whispered.
“Then I think it’s past the ‘I don’t know’ phase, isn’t it?”
Frustrated, I turned away from the stove and dug out some olive oil. There was fresh ga
rlic—I could figure that part out. “Yeah. I think it is.”
“Well…” Molly blew out a breath. “Look, we both know it’s a bad idea to get involved with somebody we work with. It gets messy. Things get awkward. But if you don’t go sleeping with him—”
“Um, yeah. Well, about that.”
“You didn’t.” I could all but hear Molly shaking her head.
“I…kinda did.” I dumped pasta into the now boiling water. “Remember I told you his new company was having this big Valentine’s Day party?”
“Yeah, we had to cancel our plans, right?”
“Well, he asked me to dance.”
Molly said, “Okay, but please tell me you didn’t have a quickie on the floor.”
“Ha, ha.” As the pasta started to boil, I opened my bottle of wine. “Look…he kissed me. It was…weird. Kinda like we bumped mouths or it was no big deal. But it freaked me out and I left. But I ended up going back to the main house later. I’d forgotten my phone and…anyway. I heard him and…it was this nightmare, Molly. It was something awful. I woke him up and he kissed me and things just kind of went from there.”
Molly was quiet for a moment, then she asked, “Were you careful?”
“No.” I had to squeeze the word out. “And now…shit, Moll. Everything’s weird. He acts weird, I act weird. Nothing’s right anymore.”
“No shit,” she said. “Okay, first…you’re going to go get tested.”
“I’m on the pill.”
“Not that kind of tested.”
“But…”
“Don’t,” Molly said quietly. “I’m sure he’s told you he’s clean, and I’m pretty sure you are. But you’re going to be smart. Don’t take a chance, okay? We can go together. You’ll probably even feel better for it. Okay?”
Taking a deep breath, I stared at the glass of wine I’d yet to drink. Then I said, “Okay.”
“Okay. Now…second, and here’s the big Q. Do you like him?”
“I do,” I admitted. “I just don’t know what it means because what happened between the two of us can never happen again, so what’s the point?”
“But what if you can?”
“But Molly…” My heart constricted. “I’m just…me.”
“Yeah. You’re you and you’re awesome. Why can’t you have the prince?”
I started to shake my head, then stopped. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“Why? Because he’s rich? Fuck the money. If he’s this great guy like you’re telling me, the only thing that should matter is whether or not he likes you back.”
But there’s more to it.
I wasn’t about to explain the kind of things Dominic was into, not on the phone. And after that night, he probably knew…oh fuck.
“Molly,” I whispered, humiliation crowding up into me. “What if…” I had to stop and take a drink of the wine just to continue, “…what if I was just so bad in bed…I mean, it’s not like I’ve got much experience, you know? What if I was so lousy and that’s why he doesn’t want to talk to me now?”
“Bullshit.” Molly didn’t even pause before the word blasted out of her mouth. “It takes two to tango, baby.”
“But—”
“Two!”
I sighed and closed my eyes, fighting the tears.
Molly was either psychic or she just knew me that well. “Aw, honey…”
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You’re not. But listen…either you have to deal with this or get out of the situation. Which is it going to be?”
“Get out?” I asked.
“Yeah. As in leave.”
Frowning into my wine, I said, “I can’t just leave. I have a contract.” Well, I could leave. That ninety-day probationary period worked both ways.
“Is it the job…or him?”
“Both.”
“And if it doesn’t work out?” she asked softly.
I didn’t have an answer.
Molly sighed. “So you have to decide. Either ride it out and hope for Prince Charming…and hey, maybe this is just a crush, right? You’ll have some time to bank your money, maybe make some contacts and get some experience, right? Or you can quit and…”
I grunted. “Quit and do what? I think I’m stuck here, at least for a while.”
“Look at it this way.” Molly’s voice took on a cheerful note. “You stuck it out with Emma and Gary for six months and made a lot less.”
There wasn’t a lot of humor in my laugh.
“Now…listen, you’re feeling better already,” Molly teased.
I tossed back half my wine and said, “No. Not really.”
But yeah, actually I was. At least I had a plan of sorts.
Then I heard the door open and that plan seemed to evaporate. Dominic appeared in the doorway.
Shit.
Chapter 10
Aleena
“Molly, I have to go.” I didn’t wait for her to ask why or even for her to respond to my statement. I hung up the phone and set it aside, unable to look away from Dominic.
His face was pale and it dawned on me that he didn’t look like he’d been sleeping well. He almost always had some five o’clock shadow going, even in the morning, but the scruff was thicker today.
In the weeks I’d known him, this was one of the few times I’d seen him look less than one hundred percent put together.
“Dominic.” I stood.
“You’re thinking about quitting,” he said quietly.
I swallowed. Unable to meet his eyes, I turned away. “What are you talking about?” I asked quietly.
“I heard you.”
The sound of his shoes on the marble floors had me tensing and I looked up to see his wavy reflection appear in the darkened windows just behind me. Pretending to busy myself with my food, I found the colander and drained my pasta. “Are you hungry? I always end up making more than…”
His hands came down on my shoulders.
“I heard you,” he said again. “I guess you were talking to Molly. Are you leaving?”
With hands that shook, I put the colander down in the sink. Steam wafted from it as I slowly edged out from under his hands and faced him.
“No.”
He caged me in up against the counter. Heat flooded me at the feel of his body against mine.
“Don’t lie to me,” he warned, his voice low. “I heard you talking about quitting.”
“Yeah, talking.” I jutted my chin up. “That doesn’t mean I am. For now, I’m sort of stuck. So no. I’m not leaving.”
His eyes flashed.
I tried to edge away and he brought up his arm, boxing me in. Before I could try the other side, he blocked that avenue as well. The air seemed a bit thicker than it had only a second ago.
“What…” I cleared my throat. “What are you doing?”
Instead of answering, he dipped his head and nuzzled my neck. “Do you know that the first time I saw you, I wanted you? When you fell against me that day in the restaurant, I had the insane idea…I caught you. Can I keep you?”
My breathing hitched.
“When we danced at the ball, I didn’t want to let you go. When I had the chance to kiss you,” he murmured. He paused and skimmed his lips down my throat. “I knew it was stupid, but I’d been waiting for that chance for too long. It felt like most of my life. I wasn’t going to let it slip by.”
He caught my earlobe and tugged on it lightly.
My knees tried to buckle then and he caught me up against him.
“You weren’t supposed to do this, Aleena,” he said, his voice going hard and flat. “You’re in my head, in my thoughts, in my dreams.”
I brought my hands up, bracing them on his chest between us.
“Being around you every day. Knowing you were so close and not being able to touch you,” he said. “It made it so much worse.”
“I need you,” he whispered, his mouth just a breath from mine.
Half-afraid to move, I lifted my gaze t
o his.
His eyes blazed hot, so hot, I thought they might burn.
No, I was already burning and I wanted to beg him to touch me, to have me, to do whatever he wanted. But I couldn’t give him what he needed.
I didn’t know how.
“I think about you, too.” The words escaped me before I could stop them.
He sucked in a breath and then, slowly, he lifted his hands to cup my face. I took advantage of that and slipped away.
He spun on me and the glint in his eyes blazed hotter.
Refusing to give in to the need inside me, I shook my head. “But you don’t need me, not really.”
His eyes narrowed on my face.
“I work for you,” I said, clearing my throat and going with the obvious and easiest route.
“We’ll figure it out.” Something passed across his features and was then gone behind that professional mask I hated. “Unless you don’t want me.”
My jaw dropped. Did he really think that? How could he think that? One touch from him and my entire body was singing. One look and my knees felt weak. I’d spent every minute of the past month denying how much I wanted him.
“I’m not what you want.” I forced myself to say it. “I know that what we did the other night...it’s not what you like.”
A muscle in his jaw pulsed, but he said nothing.
Damn it. I was going to have to say it, wasn’t I?
“The first weekend we were in the Hamptons, I went into the main house to explore.” I looked down, unable to meet his eyes while I confessed. “I…um…heard you. And Maya. I wasn’t sure what I was hearing, but I went upstairs…and…”
There was just the faintest sound and I jerked my head up.
“You saw,” he said quietly.
Jerkily, I nodded my head.
“And?”
I stared at him. “What do you mean…and?” The blush staining my face so red was almost painful. Swallowing, I looked away.
Then he moved toward me.
It was just one small step, but I felt it.