Page 17 of Push and Shove


  He paused, turning to me, his eyebrows up in another curious look. He leaned in, bringing his face close so he could whisper. “It’s not you, is it?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  Silas’s lips tightened in the corners. “What’s going on?”

  “I don’t think it’s bad. We’re just scattering. We’re trying to see who this person following us is most interested in.”

  “Oh,” he said. “North and I need to move?”

  “No,” I said. “If you need to get ready, I can wait out here.”

  “We’re running a little early. I’ll wait with you.”

  I preferred that. “How ... how’s it going?” I asked, trying to find something to talk about.

  He glanced behind his shoulder, as if checking to see if anyone was watching. He turned back to me and then stepped forward.

  I didn’t know what he was doing, and I backed up to give him room.

  My back met the wall. I stopped short, my palms against the cool painted brick. My cheeks heated, embarrassed to have been so clumsy.

  Silas’s smile broadened. He lifted his arm and then rested it above my head against the wall. The mass of muscle of his bicep flexed, drawing my attention to it so I turned my head. I knew he was a big guy, but being so close now, he seemed massive.

  He leaned in, and with my head turned, his lips traced my ear. “Sorry,” he said, his voice deep; a bit of the Greek accent filtered through. “If I don’t look like I’m trying to make out with you in the hallway, they’ll be on my ass wondering why I wasn’t.”

  “Oh,” I said, still frozen. “Should I stay like this?”

  “If you want,” he said. He was quiet for a moment, but still really close. “You okay?”

  “Yes,” I said quietly. And I was. I kind of liked it. It was like he was covering me from anyone watching us. I slowly turned my face and he backed his head up enough that I could look at those big brown eyes without crossing mine. “So we’re still ... uh, together?” I asked. “You’re still my boyfriend?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “Don’t worry about the guys. I’ll handle them. Unless you want to go out with someone else.”

  “No,” I said quickly, in an almost defensive tone. I meant to suggest it was okay we were fake boyfriend and girlfriend, but then realized I probably sounded like I wanted it to be this way.

  I kind of didn’t mind. I’d never had a boyfriend before. Even if this was fake, at least I got to pretend. Maybe he was right, it kept other boys off my back and he got to use me as an excuse not to date anyone else.

  Deep down, I preferred that, as selfish as it was. At least for now.

  He grinned. His other arm lifted, coming up near the other one to press against the wall and he leaned in on me. Silas was enveloping me.

  His nose came close and it was hard to look at him again. “Probably should have asked you first,” he said. “It came up one day. One of the guys was trying to see who you were dating and wanted to know how North and I talked to you so he could ask you out.”

  “Rocky?”

  He grunted. “No, actually, someone else.”

  I wanted to know who, but outside of Jay and Rocky, I didn’t know anyone else on the football team.

  “Told them we were dating,” he said. “Sorry. Probably should have said someone else. Wasn’t really thinking.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Simpler for both of us.”

  He nodded. His head tilted and he stopped with his nose touching mine. “Still going out with the trio this weekend?”

  “With Gabriel and the others? Yes.”

  One of the hands above me pressed down against my head, steadying me. “I asked you out once,” he said. “Never got a chance to take you anywhere.”

  “Did you want to go?” I asked, thinking of Gabriel who once felt left out. “North said you were going to be busy and you were right there, but I should have asked you if you wanted...”

  “Not to a club,” he said. “Not the type.”

  I wasn’t sure I was the type either. “Maybe... maybe when baseball season starts again, we can watch a game.” It was late October and I think we missed our window to watch the World Series together like we once said we would. What a mess! Here I was trying to figure out how to wedge time in with Silas. He’d been busy, too, with football and school and Academy things. I made a mental note to call him more.

  He was quiet for a long moment, and then he turned his head. I sensed the warmth of his lips hovering just over mine. “Do we have to wait that long?” he asked.

  My heart thundered in my ear, and my hands gripped at the wall behind me. I couldn’t back my head away. “Probably not,” I breathed.

  He held his lips still, and being so close, I was blinking hard, unable to look so close at him and feeling awkward keeping my eyes closed for too long.

  But he didn’t move. He simply hovered over my lips. Pretending?

  I sensed something else, too. He wasn’t just doing this for show. No one could see what we were doing anyway. He was simply waiting.

  For me?

  I didn’t dare move. I was having a heart attack while being as stock-still as I could be. I held my breath, waiting and any time I did breathe, I sucked in air slowly and held, getting a lung-full of ocean breeze, a cologne scent he carried. I couldn’t get myself to do anything, afraid I was getting the wrong impression.

  A noise up the hallway near the locker room startled me, and I turned my head slightly. He groaned and his hand above me started tightening to keep me still.

  “Don’t let them ruin this,” he said.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I...”

  His face tilted. His lips were briefly touching my own. It wasn’t a kiss. Just a touch, his broad lower lip crossing the front of mine. Then I was afraid to speak because doing so had my lips shifting around his.

  I was petrified. What was I supposed to do? Wasn’t a kiss supposed to be puckering lips? Maybe he was waiting for me to do that. But my muscles in my lips didn’t dare. I wanted him to do it first. I didn’t want to get it wrong.

  The longer I waited, the more it felt like he was waiting for me.

  “Aggele,” he said softly. His lip glided over mine as he spoke.

  Okay, so I couldn’t kiss him first on the lips. I got that. He was hovering, though, not moving closer. Maybe this was part of kissing. Was this as close as the guy gets before the girl did something? Maybe I just didn’t know how to kiss.

  So I twisted my head as far as he would let me, puckered, and ended up pressing out so that I could get the cheek, close to his chin. I wanted to kiss and see what would happen; I thought if I just got close enough, he’d maybe show me what to do next.

  Silas grunted and then tilted his head, his lips meeting with my cheek as he spoke against me. “You’re killing me.”

  I let out something like a soft moan, frustrated that I couldn’t figure out what he wanted. I mean, I thought I knew, but... why was this so complicated? I was killing him? I didn’t know what I was doing and I thought he would understand that and show me.

  His hand slid down until he was cupping one side of my face, and his broad lips kissed my cheek, putting pressure against my face. I closed my eyes tight, trying to forget where we were.

  His lips trailed back against my face, toward the jaw, and to a soft spot just below my ear.

  I didn’t want to say it. I wanted to wait and see if he would do anything else, but I felt compelled to let him know because I didn’t want him to be surprised, “Nathan will show up in a minute.”

  Silas groaned so hard that I felt the vibration through his lips. He backed up his head, looking down at me.

  Those dark eyes were such a shock that I was instantly regretting having spoken. He said it was killing him, and his face was scrunched, his eyes telling me that he wasn’t exaggerating. He’d wanted something and I was who he wanted it from. “He probably shouldn’t come down here,” he said.

  The way he
said it sent a chill through my heart. Something else was wrong. “Why not?”

  “Sang?”

  Silas dropped his hand from my head and I turned, spotting Nathan coming down the hallway. He looked like he was trying to hurry.

  There was a lot of sound at once. There were shouts from inside the locker room, but not like anyone was fighting. More like the onlookers from before were calling people’s attention to the hallway.

  Silas backed away from me and started bellowing as well. He pointed at Nathan. “Get out of here! She’s not talking to you.”

  Nathan stopped short, slowly putting his hands up. His blue eyes darkened, the serious expression falling into place. “Hang on a second,” he said. He tilted his head and stared at us, as if trying to figure out what Silas was up to.

  Silas positioned himself in front of me, separating me and Nathan. His brawny body easily blocked my view, but I tilted around him to see what was going on.

  “I heard what you did,” Silas shouted. He clenched his hands into fists. “Back off.”

  “Oh ... okay,” Nathan said, tilting his head, catching on. He started stepping backward. “I don’t know what you heard. Don’t want any trouble.”

  My heart was nearly exploding at the scene. I reached up, clutching at Silas’s shirt. What was going on? Boys crowded out into the hallway. I spotted Rocky and Jay among them. Rocky looked delighted. Jay looked unhappy. He frowned deeply, rubbing a palm across his shaved head.

  At the back of the group was North, crossing his arms and staying behind the others. He met my eyes. He slowly placed a finger across his lips, motioning that I should stay quiet.

  I nodded slightly, taking the hint. This was a show of some kind.

  “Fuck you,” Silas said in a loud tone. It wasn’t really angry, or I didn’t feel like it was. He was simply in control and aware of the situation and deepening his voice so he could assert authority. I’d heard this before, when he’d fake-fought with North once. “You think you can spread rumors about sleeping with my girlfriend and then that’ll break us up? Nice try. She was with me all night last night. Now what?”

  Uh-oh. Danielle must have started that rumor going around. This was how Silas was choosing to handle it, but what did that mean for Nathan? I took a step back, studying the situation and trying to catch the mood of the other boys. Most of them looked like they were hoping for a fight. Jay was stepping up, like he was ready to help but wasn’t happy about this. Rocky was smirking. He caught my eye, winking.

  “Hey, I didn’t start those,” Nathan said. He straightened, seeming to be catching on. “That’s what I was coming to talk to you about.”

  “You weren’t looking for her?”

  “I didn’t know she was down here. I came to find you when I heard what was going on. Seriously, it wasn’t me. I’m not interested in her.”

  I felt a sting at his last comment, even though I knew this was an act. It was the words coming from Nathan’s own mouth that affected me.

  Rocky stepped up next to Silas, pointing out at Nathan. “Not what I heard.”

  “Rocky,” Jay called to him. “Not our fight, man.”

  “Shut up. I’m not going to let him talk his way out of this.” Rocky squared his shoulders off at Nathan and started marching toward him. “Think you can talk shit about Sang and get away with it? You check her out in the hallway. Caught you grabbing at her the other day. Now you’re saying you’re not interested?”

  Nathan backed up some more with his hands up. “Believe what you want. I’m telling you, I’m not. Why would I bother coming down here if—”

  “To stop her from telling us,” Rocky said. “I don’t know.” He turned to me. His face looked serious, except for the glint in his eye betraying his enjoyment. “But she just got here and a second later, you show up.”

  Was he trying to pick a fight with Nathan by himself? Rocky had to be crazy! They were the same height, but Nathan was clearly bigger, stronger. Nathan wasn’t backing away because he was afraid. He was backing off because he didn’t want to fight and end up hurting him.

  “Rocky,” Silas said coldly. “I’ll handle this.”

  “Hey if someone fucks with my buddy’s girlfriend, it’s my business. Looking out for you, man.”

  Motion caught the corner of my eye. North was signaling again. He pointed toward the door, making a motion with his head that I should back off. I didn’t want to leave Nathan to fend for himself.

  “I don’t think Nathan did it,” I said out loud, unsure if I was helping. Some of the boys turned to me, stunned expressions. Did they not expect me to say anything when this was about me in the first place? “I just ... I mean a lot of rumors go around about me. They’re just rumors. Not true. Silas knew this one wasn’t true. I just wanted to let him know I heard it.” I realized what I was saying was probably perpetuating additional rumors of what Silas and I were doing last night together when we weren’t. But what was the better lie? I had to go with Silas’s plan.

  Silas breathed out a little, letting his shoulders relax. “We’ve got to get ready for the game. I don’t have time for this,” he said. He pointed at Nathan. “Just stay away from her.”

  “Fine,” Nathan said. He backed up some more and started down the hall. He disappeared around the corner.

  “Shouldn’t let him get away with that shit,” Rocky said to Silas. He pointed a broad finger at him. “You should go teach him a lesson.”

  “I’m tired of being told what to do,” Silas said, narrowing his eyes at Rocky, his voice going cold. “Last week you want me to break up with her and this week you’re telling me other guys are sleeping with her. I hate drama.”

  “I’m looking out for you, buddy. You’re on my team. I’d do it for any of the guys.”

  “That’s not it,” Silas said, narrowing his eyes at him. “I know it. They know it.” He jerked his head toward the team that was still watching. “I’m telling you: back off.” Silas glanced once at me, his eyebrows rising and his lips twisting like he had a million things to say but couldn’t right now. “I’ll see you after the game,” he said to me. He stalked off into the locker room.

  Rocky glared after him, but North cut off the view by stepping in the way.

  “What do you want?” Rocky asked.

  “We’ve got a game to play,” North said, his tone deep and serious.

  “So?”

  “May want to pay attention out there,” North said. “Heard this team was tough. Have it out for shitty quarterbacks.” His eyes flashed once at me, and then he marched off after Silas.

  Rocky followed, not bothering to look back.

  In a moment, I was alone with Jay in the hallway. My hand was over my heart. They just avoided a fight, but there were threats flying everywhere. What did this mean for Nathan? And Silas? I didn’t understand boys at all.

  “He better be right about you,” Jay said coolly. He was partially dressed in his football pants and a T-shirt he’d wear underneath which revealed the bulk of his body. His dark eyes were cold, critical. With the shaved head, he was scary.

  The comment rocked me back on my heels. “Pardon?” I asked.

  “Silas trusts you,” he said. He turned, heading for the locker room. “I don’t know you, and I don’t care. But half of my team was about ready to risk a fight and getting kicked out of the game for you. You better not be fucking with us.” He disappeared into the locker room.

  What else could I have done? I stood there for a moment, unsure what to do and where to turn. I couldn’t run after Nathan just in case anyone was lingering and watching. I waited, wishing North or Silas would come out and tell me what to do.

  And what about this person following us?

  I turned around, heading the way I’d come. I took my phone out. It took an effort to slow my heart and breathing enough to think clearly. I waited until I was outside and out of earshot before I called Kota.

  “What’s wrong?” Kota picked up after barely one ring.

&
nbsp; I told him as quickly as I could what happened. “I don’t know where to go. I don’t know if I should go back for Nathan.”

  “Is anyone around?” he asked. “Where are you?”

  “Outside, toward the football field.”

  “Are there people over in the stands? Are they filling in seats yet?”

  I was on the sidewalk that headed toward the gate and the football field. There were people lingering around the gate. Some were setting up ticket booths. Others were talking and watching, but a few had moved on toward the football field. Booths were open nearby, with people inside. “They’re starting to sell tickets.”

  “Go see if you can get one, or volunteer to help out if you need a reason to be around. Don’t let anyone talk you into going alone anywhere. Stay with people.”

  “Where’s Luke and Gabriel?”

  “We’re giving Mr. Morris and the other driver the run around. We’re trying to figure out who this other guy is. I don’t know how soon we can get back.”

  “Should I call Victor to come out?”

  “He won’t be able to get back for over a half hour. He’s on the other side of Charleston. Go find a place to sit in the stands. If there’s any emergency, I don’t care where North or Silas is, or where Nathan is, go find them. I’m going to get Nathan to stay within sight, but will have him keep his distance. We’ll have to sort this whole mess out later.”

  I breathed out slowly, trying to gather myself a bit. The whole scene was nerve-wracking and now I was all alone.

  “Sang,” Kota said. “Sweetie, I’ll come for you as soon as I can. We’ll figure this out. Stay on the line with me.”

  “I wish we didn’t have to care what they thought,” I said.

  “It’s not really like this in other places,” Kota said.

  “The Academy’s not like this?”

  “Life isn’t like this. Not really. People may notice some things, but they usually don’t care. If it isn’t their own family or friends, they may talk about it for a minute, but they forget and move on, and it doesn’t affect your life. There’s not a lot of petty rumors unless you’re a public face like in politics or a celebrity.”