With two quick strides, I had caught his arm and twisted it behind his back, my foot on the back of his already weakening calf.
“Go home,” I hissed at him, feeling my own darkness rage inside me. I checked for the shadows, but there were none. It was just pure human horror. Some of the humans we tried to protect were worse than the things we protected them from. The men were a group of idiots with bad intentions wandering the streets until they found a way to have their idea of fun. They could think again.
The other men guffawed at their friend’s predicament, and it gave the twins time to turn a corner and make it out of sight. Breathing a sigh of relief, I let go of the man, who howled dramatically and rolled on the ground as if I had hurt him. I had been very careful with him, despite my anger.
I walked away slowly, hoping they would see sense and go home, but the group were a special brand of idiot. The shouts picked up in volume. I saw a number of curtains twitch in the homes I passed, but all doors stayed closed, and nobody interfered when they saw one woman accosted by five men.
“You people suck,” I muttered, hearing footsteps right behind me. I swung around as one of the men lunged. No longer lusty, they wanted a fight. Somehow, they seemed to know I could take it. I launched my fist in the man’s face before he could get a hold on me. The shock in his eyes when I broke his nose was pretty satisfying.
He fell on his backside. The man I had already put my hands on limped over as the rest of the group surrounded me.
“She’s a paddy and all,” he hissed. “A fucking paddy bitch, she is.”
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously?” My heart rate shot up, and I felt my control slipping. I didn’t want to hurt humans, but that gang was asking for it. And by the way the neighbourhood didn’t interfere, I got the impression I wasn’t the first person they had attacked. Maybe I could give them a fright, or get rid of my own aggression.
“Don’t think she knows who you are, son,” one of the men said. He was the quietest, the one who walked behind the others, the one I had known to watch from the first second I laid eyes on them. “She will after tonight, though.”
They laughed, but their laughter was more excited than amused. They were vultures, preying on the weak, but they had picked the wrong person.
I stayed still as they circled, but I watched that one man, the leader, the one who didn’t need to scream or shout to be heard or feared. He was the one without a conscience. I could see it in his energy. It was easy to see him as a monster. Sometimes it was hard to forget that humans had hurt me as much as anything else in my life. The man eyeing me reminded me of the worst kind of human I’d met. Made thinking clearly that much more difficult to achieve.
“You keep looking at me, girly,” he said. “Something to say?”
“Yeah. Have a go,” I replied, my sweetest smile plastered on my face.
He glanced at the others, a smirk on his lips. He ran a hand through his dirty blond hair. The others jeered in a quietened sort of way. They felt something in the air, whether they knew it or not. Something big was about to happen.
The man walked over to me and threw a lazy punch that caught me in the jaw.
I showed my bloody grin. “Oh… I mean, ouch.”
His features flashed with anger, and I knew he was on his way to losing control. But I didn’t have time for a fight, I tried to remind myself. Making sure they were all watching, I opened my mouth and let my fangs show.
“The fuck!” The leader zoomed backward in fright, disgust obvious on his face. Some of the others backed away with him. One or two peered at me with interest, too drunk to understand.
The leader got himself together. “Fucking emo watching too many vampire flicks,” he said, making them all laugh. His hands still shook. He might have thought my fangs weren’t real, or that I had filed my teeth, but he was still shaken. Yet he didn’t go away, whether he thought I was helpless or not. He was a bully. An ego who thought he could push around the world. I was getting pretty sick of that kind of attitude.
So I decided to scare them all. Growling, I leapt at one and kicked him in the stomach. A beautifully joyful sensation enveloped my body at his horrified gasp. I spun around and elbowed another in the stomach, leaving him winded. One struck me, catching me slightly on the shoulder. Hissing like a cat, I threw myself at him, and two of the men jumped after me, trying to get hold of me. Their anger and aggression only increased my own. I wriggled and punched, but one refused to let go, somehow managing to heave his weight on top of me. I had let myself get pinned again. But I wasn’t afraid.
I was too busy setting the darkness free.
He was heavy, and I couldn’t seem to balance myself enough to push him off of me. I made a scary vampire face, and he loosened his grip. I leapt to my feet, enraged. Maybe I was absorbing their anger and aggression, maybe the darkness inside me had come to the fore, or maybe I had finally reached my breaking point. Whatever it was, I was at the point of no return. I convinced myself I was facing a monster. A monster I needed to destroy.
I punched his face, and he stumbled. Advancing on him, I struck again, and he landed on his backside. I kicked him, enjoyed the grunt of pain. I leaned over and forced him to look at me. My fingers digging into his chin, I smiled at him, and he urinated right there on the ground. Licking my fangs, I smelled his fear, tasted his hate, and was readying myself to really hurt him, when I heard footsteps behind me. I whirled around, ready to attack, but at the last second backed off when I scented her.
Lucia. Without fear, despite what had to be a wildly angry look on my face, she touched me. And I saw.
Me. Covered in blood, surrounded by the broken bodies of the men. My eyes as scarlet as Becca’s. The image faded, leaving me shaking my head in horror and confusion. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t that monster. But my fangs were out, and I had been fully prepared to teach the men a lesson. Lucia’s touch had been the light in the red rage, a calming presence when I had already gone out of my head with anger.
I looked back at the men before retracting my fangs. “Go home.” I used the force of my will in the hope that I could somehow make them all obey. “Stay away from each other, and learn some manners.” I barked out the last bit.
They didn’t follow us, and I didn’t look around in case I was tempted to run back. Lorcan stood in the middle of the road, looking baffled, but I just kept walking, still clinging to Lucia’s hand for dear life.
I couldn’t speak. I was too close to the other side. I felt as though opening my mouth would release something evil, something I hid, something that kept trying to find a way out.
Chapter Eighteen
“We got you some coffee.”
Lorcan left a steaming foam cup on the floor a few feet away from me as if coaxing out an animal. Perhaps he was.
They had been gone all morning, and I figured it was because they feared me. I couldn’t exactly blame them. Once again, I didn’t understand my own actions. Yet their eyes revealed no fear at all.
“Thanks.” I reached for the coffee, and as I did, Lucia bent down and squeezed my hand. I waited for the images, but none came. I gazed up at her quizzically, but she let go and moved back over to Lorcan’s side. Sighing, I picked up the coffee and tried to look a little less like a psycho killer.
“We were wondering what you needed for tonight. You said your dagger doesn’t work well enough on Becca. What else could you use?”
I took a sip of coffee, letting it scald my tongue, a petty punishment. “I’m not sure. Silver and crosses hurt her. I’ll just have to be imaginative. It’ll be easier than catching her. You two need to stay home tonight.”
Lorcan glanced at Lucia. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I won’t hurt anyone,” I said in a low voice.
“Are you upset with us?”
I gaped at him in surprise. “No, of course not. I’m upset with me.”
“We’re sorry about last night. Those men… I mean, we aren’t all like that o
ver here.” He shifted uncomfortably.
“I know that. Arseholes live everywhere. Years ago, back home, I tried to stop an idiot beating up his girlfriend. Both of them turned on me. Takes all kinds.” I shrugged. “But last night. That was my fault. I managed to push the whole situation out of control, and I was fully ready to hurt those men. I wanted to teach them a lesson.”
“I don’t understand. The vampires called you the Irish Council’s assassin. Is it not your job to cause pain?”
He said it so simply, but tears filled my eyes at his words.
“I’m sorry,” he said, horrified. “I didn’t mean—”
“I had never killed anything until a few months ago, really, when the vampires decided to make my life hell. And now the Council. It’s like I’m marked, like I can never be clean again.” I shook my head. Letting the words spill out was a strange sort of relief. “Up until a week ago, I had only killed a couple of vampires who really deserved it. Then, there was a human. He was possessed by a demon or something. I took care of the demon, but the man died. I didn’t mean it. This isn’t the life I wanted.”
“You really are like us,” he said, but I looked straight at Lucia. For the very first time, I saw her smile, and I knew I would remember it forever. Her face lit up into something beautifully ethereal. She was full of light, full of something pure and good.
“I’m glad I met you,” I told her. “And thank you.”
Her smile died away, and she grabbed my phone, urging me to take it. The urgency in her eyes made my stomach drop. Carl. I turned on the phone and called home with a heavy heart.
“He’s not going to make it.” Peter’s voice was gruff, but I could tell he was unhappy.
“What’s happening?”
“He’s sick, feverish. Eddie said it’s a reaction to being away from you for this long. He needs contact.”
“I can’t leave yet.”
“Ava, I know. I’m just telling you to be ready for the worst when you come back.”
Tears filled my eyes, and I hurried outside with the phone. I’d already let the twins see way too much of the real Ava.
“Can’t Eddie do something?” I let the tears fall. Carl didn’t deserve to die.
“He’s trying, but he wants you to know that there isn’t much hope left. Maybe a day, two tops. Last night, Carl freaked out, tried to leave. His body isn’t strong enough, but he kept fighting me. He ended up hurting himself. Eddie had to sedate him in the end.”
“Oh, my God.” I hiccupped a sob. “That was my fault. I’m so sorry.”
“How? What happened?”
I bit my lip, wishing I could hide the previous night forever, but I couldn’t, so I relayed the story to Peter as quickly as possible.
“Ah. So he sensed trouble, even with you over there. The bond must be really strong.” Peter sounded almost relieved.
“I wasn’t in trouble, Peter. Those men were.”
“Don’t start guilt-tripping yourself, Ava. Snap out of it.”
I stuttered something incomprehensible.
“I mean it. They had it coming, if you did hurt them. Besides, it’s the empathy thing, right? You keep taking in what everyone else is feeling. Those scumbags just screwed with your emotions a bit. Like the succubus did with us.”
I wasn’t so sure that was what had happened in either case. I quickly ended the embarrassingly weepy phone call, then sat on the steps of the house, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do next, and trying to ignore how homesick I felt. Carl needed me. The Council needed me. Everyone seemed to need me for something. And I wasn’t getting anything done. There had to be a way to fix all of my problems.
I moped about for a while before the twins joined me, sitting on either side of me. Being around them was nice, once I got past the creepy factor. They were calm beings, not full of the rage I was, even though their lives had been a lot worse. They made me feel ungrateful, more ready to change myself instead of everyone else.
“I need to get home. Tonight has to be the night,” I said.
“A lover needs you?” Lorcan asked.
“More like a brother,” I corrected. Carl was family, and I had to be there if he died. I had to be there to try and help him carry on for longer. I had to be there, full stop.
“You know Lucia’s reckonings aren’t always accurate. Things can easily change.”
“Then, I’ll have to track her myself. Either way, I’m going home tonight. I’m going to check out ferries and flights. I need to prepare myself, and you need to figure out exactly what you’re going to tell the vampires. You could say she escaped in the docks, and Lucia had a vision she left the country, so I jumped on a ferry to track her over the water. If they don’t believe you, act like I had you under my thrall. They’ll come after me, not you. I still need some help from home, but no matter what, I’m leaving tonight.”
I gazed at the shrouded exit, contemplating everything. “Did you do that?”
Lorcan followed my line of sight. “Oh, that. Yes. Sort of. It was already there, we just boosted it a little. Keeps us out of sight, out of mind.”
“Think the vampires watch us when we track Becca?”
“Yes. I’m sure of it.” He nudged me. “But you’re safe in this little part of the world.”
I rubbed my nose, wishing I could hide in that part forever. “Any chance of you two doing something similar tonight?”
The twins exchanged looks. “We were counting on it.”
“You two are pretty special. I’m not surprised the vampires want you on their side.”
“We’ve been smart enough not to show anyone exactly what we can do,” he said, and a shiver of anticipation ran down my spine at the passion behind his words.
Later, I made the phone call I had been putting off. Gabe was the only one I could turn to. I had to take the chance, despite the risk.
“You really are crazy,” he said after I told him my plan. “They could start a war over this.”
“Not if you back me up. Look, they’re going to start problems if they have Becca. And that’s another thing. When they realise they can’t use her, they’re going to turn to the vampires who started this formula crap in the first place. They want in. That much is obvious.”
He took in a breath. “You’re so much more trouble than you’re worth.”
“Yeah, well, after this I’m done with you people. No need to worry about what I’m worth anymore.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic,” he scoffed.
“I mean it. I’m going to do the things you lot can’t be arsed with.”
“Such as?” he asked coolly.
“Um, maybe tackle the slave markets, the missing children, and, oh yeah, the demonic possession that your own Guardians are probably taking part in.” I couldn’t help getting annoyed. Gabe never failed to rattle me in some way.
“The Council deals with a lot of things you will never even know about,” he said. “When you return, come to the bar. I have something to discuss with you, and that’s the only place I know where we won’t be overheard by the wrong ears.”
“Fine. You gonna back me up or not? There are people here taking a risk for me. I don’t want them doing that for nothing.”
He hesitated then groaned. “Fine. When you return, I’ll orchestrate a ‘killing’ and let the British Committee know we took care of Becca on our own soil.”
***
“She wasn’t here tonight.” I sniffed the night air. Nothing. Becca’s plans had changed since Lucia had seen them. The twins had insisted on joining me, and I had to let them in case I was seen alone on the night they were supposed to be my witnesses. We had gone back to the housing estate from the previous night so I could track Becca’s old scent, but the trail went dead right outside it.
I tried not to think about Carl, but his face kept popping into my mind. I had taken him on a dangerous path, and it might be too late for him to find his way back. I had to feel guilt for that. All night, I had been coun
ting. Heartbeats, footsteps, passing cars. I kept breaking down numbers until I had primes. A never-ending litany in my head. I had become certain of one thing. The less I cared, the less I needed to count. My choices were either to have a heart of ice or be crippled with a nervous disorder. Fun.
“When we find her, what do you want us to do?”
“Hide. Run. Your pick. Just don’t forget to hide us when the time comes. Hey, Lucia, any thoughts on the outcome yet?”
She shook her head, frowning with the concentrated effort she was putting into listening to whatever sent her the clues.
We wandered for hours, looking for something, anything. We didn’t even know if Becca was still in the country. She could have been anywhere. But she had only fed once the previous night, and that, coupled with her injury, made me pretty sure she wasn’t strong enough to go far without a decent feed.
It wasn’t until a police car sped past, sirens wailing, that Lucia saw something.
“She’s been feeding,” Lorcan told me. “It isn’t close, but if we hurry, we might find a trail you can follow.”
The twins were as fast, if not faster, than I was. It felt good to push myself alongside them. They made me feel like less of a freak, and I had the feeling I would miss them once I went home. I knew I let myself get attached too easily, but I couldn’t help it.
An hour later, I finally caught Becca’s scent. Relief flooded through me, but it wasn’t over yet. I still had to catch up to her. I still had to finish her. I still had to kill again. And then, I had to make it home and hope it wasn’t too late for Carl. Our link was weakening quicker than I expected, and I knew I only had one chance left.
We closed in on Becca in a quiet part of the country. Quaint stone cottages dotted the area, and the place seemed too quiet for a supernatural battle. I caught sight of her before she noticed me. She watched a lone man shuffle with his terrier in the distance, and I could see her sizing him up, perhaps wondering if he were worth attacking. I voted no on the basis of the ankle-biter alone.