“What’s this about?” I straightened myself, gesturing to her bare legs.
“I didn’t have time to undress, so my clothes tore when I shifted.” She shoved me in the chest with both hands, her nostrils flaring with anger. “You hit me!”
“My God, you’re an idiot,” I said. “One thing I tell you to do. One thing.” I waved my hands, unable to continue.
“I could have taken her,” she insisted.
I made a noise because that was all I could manage.
“Are we going after her?” Peter interrupted. I grabbed his arm to look at his watch. I would never catch up to her before sunrise. I had been running most of the night already, and my leg was killing me. I shook my head.
“Are you kidding me?” Esther was really doing my head in.
“Look, by the time I get remotely close to catching up with her, the sun will be up. Game over.” I leaned over again, struggling to slow my racing heart.
“Perfect. We get her during the day. Go track her!”
I carefully debated punching her again. “I can’t. Peter, take her home.”
I turned to leave, but she grabbed my arm.
“What do you mean, you can’t?”
“I’m not a performing seal, Esther. I can’t find her during the day. She goes off my radar. Dies. Or whatever. I can’t keep up with her long enough to figure it out for sure. If we find her during the day, it’ll be a total fluke.”
“But—”
I sighed heavily. “Peter, please. Take her home.”
“What about you?” he asked.
“I can’t sit in a car with you two tonight. Goodbye.”
As I walked away, I heard him say something about bringing her back to his place. I was just glad to be out of punching distance. I liked Esther, but I obviously couldn’t work with her. I trudged through the grass, a cold breeze blowing across my hands.
“So, you didn’t ditch me, then,” I muttered, and felt a cool ghostly arm around my shoulders the rest of the way home.
Chapter Five
Going over the sheer disaster of the night before was so depressing, I actually felt excited when I received a text from Yvonne. It could only mean a job, and that would take my mind off the epic failure into which my life had devolved. When I rang her, she briskly told me to collect a payment from Eddie and deliver it to Daimhín that night. My heart sank at the idea of being around Eddie, but it had to be done.
I decided to get over there early, do some shopping, then drop in on Daimhín as soon as it got dark. A rare sunny day, I embraced the sunlight, knowing it was protection. We’d been through a bad winter, and April wouldn’t be a scorcher, but a cloudless sky opened up as soon as I left my street, and for some reason, it felt like a blessing.
Walking to Eddie’s bookshop, I mulled over the events of the previous night. If anyone had been watching, it might have looked as though I didn’t want to capture Becca at all. That wasn’t true, but I didn’t think I was right for the job after all. I needed help to take her down, and I didn’t work well with others.
Esther hadn’t helped. She kept pushing me and taking over. Then again, she probably thought the exact same thing about me. Except I was pushing everyone away, and I wasn’t even sure why. Everything I had been feeling, or rather everything I had been ignoring, kept coming to the surface in ways I couldn’t control. If I didn’t hurry up and deal with Becca, people would keep dying. Everything was depending on me doing things right, and that made my throat dry up with a raw, aching thirst.
I stood outside Eddie’s shop for a few minutes, gulping air in an attempt to calm myself. The sounds of distant heartbeats buzzed in the air, tormenting me. Closing my eyes, I twisted the numbers of my birth date until I boiled them down to one safe number. Five. That worked.
Pushing open the door, I held my breath as a distinctly citrus scent filled my nostrils. “What are you doing here?” I blurted.
“Kinda work here,” Carl said, grinning. “What are you doing here?”
“Job. Debt collecting. Making even more friends. Is he here?”
“He’s upstairs having lunch. Should be back down in a few. Sticking around?”
I let out a heavy sigh, knowing I should leave from the way my mouth kept watering. Whatever the hell was in Carl’s blood tantalised my senses, and for the first time in a while, I had no choice but to grip the silver cross around my neck and hope the thirst would duck its head again.
Still, I needed to figure out why Carl was lying, and the only way to do that was by asking questions. It wasn’t stalking. Just some friendly queries. Peter probably wouldn’t approve, but he wasn’t around to stop me.
“I’ll wait,” I said when Carl appeared confused by my silence.
“Great! I want to show you something.”
Before I could stop him, he jumped over the counter and dove into the bookshelves, picking up a mini stack and carrying them back over to me.
“What’s all this?” I asked, fidgeting nervously.
He dropped the books on the counter and flicked through one of them. He shoved it at me, urging me to take a look while he went through the rest of the musty-smelling books.
One word caught my eye. Nephilim. The picture beside it made me gasp aloud. Angels, men, demons, and gigantic warriors with flaming swords covered the page.
“I know,” Carl said, looking over at me. “You’re a little small. Then again, you’re a mongrel.”
I made a face, but it didn’t stop his laughter. “What’s this?”
“You. Or rather, what you were meant to be. In theory. The angels told them what to do, and they took out the demons and kept the gates of hell closed to protect humans.”
“Why?” I muttered.
“The angels couldn’t bring the battle to Earth, but demons could, by possessing humans. They wanted out of Hell, I suppose. It’s really fascinating, makes you wonder how much of history is…” He faltered, searching my face. “Is everything okay?” He scratched his chest absentmindedly.
My mind raced. Big shoes to fill. Huge. “Um, yeah.” I waved my hands as if batting away the images. “What’s with you? Fleas?”
“Silence, dwarfed giant. Seriously, you have to read this stuff. The Nephilim were born to be warriors. You were practically made to protect people. How cool is that?”
“Except I’m not one of them, remember? Besides, could they actually do anything… useful?” I felt shy all of a sudden that a human who hadn’t known vampires or angels existed a couple of months ago could tell me about my heritage.
“Apart from saving the world? The books all disagree, I’m afraid. Still interesting reading, though.” He slowly nudged one book across the counter as if I couldn’t see him.
I ducked under his arm, grabbed the book, and rushed behind the counter to read it. He stood there helplessly, still scratching, his face flooded with colour. I flicked through the pages, my heart racing.
It was all bad. The book called Nephilim the dark ones, the ones who bridged the gap between Heaven and Hell. In so not a good way. The ones who could end it all. Children of night, of darkness, of Lucifer. The words blurred together in front of my eyes, and my lungs felt as though the air had been sucked right from them. I threw the book away from me as if it burned my fingers.
“It’s just one book,” he said softly.
“But it’s right,” I whispered, horrified by the tears in my eyes. “I don’t even try to do the right thing anymore.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I can feel it,” I said, blurting out the secret things that kept me so low. “There’s something dark in me. And it’s getting stronger. I don’t care about anything because when I do, it hurts. Everything’s worse when I feel like a human. The thirst, the counting, everything. The only time I rein it in for good is when I act like one of them. When I feel like one of them. I’m stronger when I’m like them. I can’t even explain half the things I do. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” His
arm was around me before a tear dropped. I let everything out. All of the things I had been thinking just spewed out of my mouth. I was only sure of one thing, that Carl wouldn’t judge me for it.
“They said you had a choice,” Carl reminded me. “That you could choose. You’re never going to choose… the wrong thing.”
“I don’t even know what’s right and wrong anymore. I’m working for this stupid Council who can’t even protect children, and I’m certain some of them are the kind of thing I should really be hunting. And I’m working for a vampire queen, for feck’s sake. I can’t even stop Becca from murdering people, and all I’m trying to do is bring her in for what’s going to be more inhumane testing. I forced my will on a policeman the other night. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You’re not bad, Ava.”
I snorted through my tears and wiped my eyes. “You would never tell me if I was bad.”
“I wouldn’t lie to you.” Our eyes locked, and I remembered he already had. He looked so sure, so steady and honest, that I almost doubted myself. Almost. In the end, he was just another in a long line of liars.
“Yeah, well, what else is in those books, then?” I asked, moving away from him.
He scratched his chest. “There’s a couple here,”—he opened two next to each other—“that talk about walking between worlds and dimensions.”
“Dimensions?” I grabbed one of the books to take a closer look. “Astral projection? What’s that?”
“It’s something like when your soul leaves your body to move around elsewhere. This book, though, this is the interesting one. It doesn’t mention astral projection, but it talks about the ability to pass between dimensions. I don’t understand it really. At first, I thought it was on about portals into another world or something. But the more I read, the less sure I am.”
He stared at me, and I gulped at the serious expression on his face. “Ava. It… it talks about being able to pass through the gates of Hell, too, about opening gates.”
Before I could react, a door slammed behind us.
“Ava, I thought I heard your voice. Carl, you can head on now. Thanks for your help.” Eddie approached me, a wide, but probably fake, smile on his face. “How have you been?”
My shoulders automatically hunched. “I’m here for Daimhín.”
He didn’t look surprised, but he made a clucking sound. “Oh, dear. I have no cash right now. How about you come here tonight to pick it up? After dark, when the shop is closed.”
I hesitated. I knew better than to trust Eddie when he was being agreeable. Finally, I shrugged, not having much of an option. “Fine. I’ll be back later. Carl, what are you doing right now?”
Carl’s heart rate spiked, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood. “I promised my parents I’d go see them. You?”
“I have some shopping to do,” I said, chewing on the inside of my mouth.
“So you’re not going home?”
“No,” I said slowly.
Carl scrambled to get his things. “Well, I’ll see you all soon.” He blew out of the shop like a whirlwind. I stood frowning for a couple of seconds.
“You should hurry,” Eddie said in a matter-of-fact voice. “That shopping sounded important.”
I ignored him, wondering if he knew something, but not wanting to speak to him about anything other than business. I still hadn’t forgiven him for lying to me, even though he had warned me I didn’t know things I should. But I did hurry. I didn’t go shopping. I trailed Carl. All the way to my building. That’s when it dawned on me. That thing I hadn’t been seeing. Carl was sneaking around with my next-door neighbour.
***
I impatiently rapped on Eddie’s door, stamping my feet to get a little feeling back into my numb toes. As usual, the clear day had been followed by a bitterly cold evening.
Eddie opened the door halfway, pulled me in, and slammed it behind me.
“Little edgy, aren’t we?” I began, then slowly turned around to face possibly the oldest vampire I had ever seen. His eyes were covered in the same filmy substance that diluted Daimhín’s scarlet orbs, but the redness of his were flecked with dark brown, almost black streaks. His long dark hair was tied back loosely, letting strands fall over his eyes.
I glanced back at Eddie, who tried to look reassuring. It didn’t work. Every cell in my body wanted to get away from the ancient vampire. I wanted to pull out my dagger against him. My fingers trembled in my pockets, and my instincts went haywire.
“This is Reuben, the vampire consultant to the Council,” Eddie said hurriedly, as if he could read my thoughts. I tried to calm myself, seeing why Eddie had introduced him before I flipped out completely.
The vampire nodded politely, and I realised I recognised him from the trial. Exhaling loudly, I kept my eyes on Reuben while speaking to Eddie. “I have to get back to Daimhín tonight.”
Reuben turned and walked straight up the stairs without a word.
“What’s going on?” I whispered. “Are you in trouble or something?”
“No, no. Reuben wants to speak to you, that’s all.”
“To me? What for?”
“Ava, he’s very old, and he knows more than most. Be polite to this one. Do you understand? He’s not a resident, but he has quite a bit of sway as a consultant. Watch yourself tonight.”
Feeling like a scolded child, I threw my hands in the air and followed Eddie upstairs. Everything involving Eddie had to turn into something else, and I was absolutely certain he had planned the meeting.
Reuben was already sitting at the table when I walked into Eddie’s kitchen. I sat across from him, eyeing him warily. His lips twitched a little, as though I amused him. To me, a vampire’s smile was way worse than his frown.
“Any news on the beast?” he said slowly, each word a dusty croaking sound that sent my nervous system into convulsive twitching.
“Not really.” I glanced at Eddie, who kept his back to us.
“It needs to be dealt with soon,” Reuben said.
“I know,” I snapped. He narrowed his eyes, and I again felt that cold sensation on my skin. Just like the time the black sheep of Daimhín’s coven, Jules, had tried to control me. With Jules, it felt like raindrops. With Reuben, it felt like ice-cold waves of water dashing against my skin. Shivering, I gulped hard until the feeling seeped away, but I was left rattled by the feeling he would be able to control me if he really tried.
“I’m doing the best I can,” I insisted.
“What’s the problem?” he asked.
“She knows I’m coming. She keeps running, and I can’t keep up.”
“Well, no wonder. Look at you. You’re puny. Are you even using up your quota?”
Eddie made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. I sent daggered glares at his back.
“I don’t drink blood,” I said. “What’s your quota like?”
The vampire relaxed in his seat, his lips curving upward. That wasn’t reassuring. I waited for his decrepit skin to tear apart at the action. “I get to drain a virgin once a month.” He licked his fangs slowly, as if he could still taste blood on them.
I leaned back in my chair. I really hadn’t expected that answer.
He cocked his head to the side. “I made my deals in another time. My involvement with the Council has saved me from renegotiation.”
I wanted to vomit. I was helping those people?
“Why the distaste?” he asked, a hidden warning in his voice. “Once upon a time, you could be guaranteed that the young were innocent and clean. Pure of blood. Now I have to look a lot harder. Slightly more tedious, but worth it.”
“Can’t you just use donated blood?” I blurted. “A… volunteer?”
His eyes widened with surprise. “Oh, I do. But nothing is worth that sweet ecstasy at the moment the heart stops. Near the end, the heart is so very desperate to survive, so willing to put up a fight. That gloriously final, traumatic pump makes the search worth it. Trust me, once
you taste it, you don’t go back, little dark thing.” He gave a little moan that made me think he wasn’t as controlled as people seemed to think.
I leaned forward, my head thundering with anger. “I’m not dark.”
“So you say. I see differently. You may not be consuming your natural diet, but you are using other… gifts. I can smell it on you.”
My cheeks burned with shame. I kept thinking I was so much better than them, but there was more to darkness than murder and blood.
He sniffed the air like a hound, his fangs much more noticeable. “I can smell so much more. What a waste.” He stared into my eyes, and I felt a hand grip my soul. I touched his darkness, and it left a distinctly sour taste in my mouth.
I shook myself, and pushed my chair away from the table, desperate to get away from the vampire. Everything about him disturbed me.
Eddie laid his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Reuben. To the point, please.”
Reuben looked away for a few minutes. When he finally looked at me again, the danger was gone from his eyes. “Yes, the point. We need speed on this situation. You need to take down the beast before something worse comes. There are mutterings of interference from others, and the Council can’t afford to have this used as an excuse. Drink the blood. Consume it with the kind of pleasure you were born to have. It’s the only way you’ll stop her. Trust me, you’re not strong enough without it.”
“I don’t believe you,” I lied. Shrugging off Eddie’s hand, I stalked out of the room before I made a huge mistake. I had to stop pissing off the wrong people every time they terrified me.
Downstairs, I sat behind the counter with my head between my knees, breathing deeply. Counting couldn’t help the ache in my chest. Too much pressure. Too many harsh truths revealed.
“Here.” Eddie handed me an envelope full of cash. “Calm down, Ava.” He pressed his palm against my forehead. I felt him summon power, but I couldn’t gather myself enough to stop him. A warm feeling soothed the ache, and the wheezing soon stopped.