Chapter 12
Amy accompanied Ruthie to the dock where they had first seen Michael two nights earlier. When they saw him again he was busily coiling a large rope and didn't see the vampires as they stood watching him from the shadow of a small building at the edge of the dock. Amy smiled sadly wishing it was Robert she was watching instead of Michael and said, "I'll leave you now so you can enjoy each other's company without me if you wish."
Ruthie looked a little shy and uncertain," Wait here until you see that he remembers me first and then you can leave. If he doesn't want to talk to me we can find something else to do until sunrise."
Amy looked incredulously at her friend, "Ruthie, I heard him exclaim that you were the prettiest lady he'd ever met. I'm sure he will remember you! In fact, I'm certain he will be thrilled to see you again."
"Maybe he says that to all the girls that run into him in the night."
"Ruthie," Amy sighed, "You should have a much higher opinion of yourself. If you need me I'll be visiting our former lair to look for signs of Robert. He may have been there searching for me and has left me a sign just as I left one for him."
"Be careful, then," Ruthie warned, "don't kill anyone."
"I promise," Amy said still sated from the gunshot victim, "don't tie any boots," she added referring to the man on the tracks behind the biscuit factory who expected Ruthie to tie his boot. After scanning the area to find that no one would see her crossing the railroad tracks she walked back toward Bank Street.
Ruthie saw the direction she was heading and quickly caught up to her, "Stay away from the alley where that man was shot!"
"I wasn't going to get very close," Amy had planned to pass by the area on her way to the old lair to learn if the body had been moved and perhaps overhear the story of the incident that must be circulating around the city by now. She looked into Ruthie's stern face and sighed in disappointment, "Fine, Ruthie, I'll completely avoid the entire block if you insist."
"It would be very dangerous for you to be seen there," Ruthie added, "you know that already. Someone could see you and I'm sure the authorities will still be investigating. That dead man was dressed really nice so you know they'll be looking for his killer."
Once Ruthie was certain that Amy would keep her word, she returned to the dock and timidly approached Michael. As she moved closer to him, she admired how handsome he was and how he moved as he tidied up the deck of the ship while he waited for the time to come to finally follow his dream of being at sea. She stood silently and nervously by the ship waiting for him to look up and notice her forgetting how expert she had become as a vampire at making herself part of the darkness and just as silent. Finally, she found her voice, "Hello again," she managed to nervously choke out.
Michael's expression transformed from one of concentration on his work to one of pleasant surprise as his hands froze in their toil when he looked into Ruthie's hopeful face, "You came back!" he exclaimed in delight as he laid aside his work, "I been hoping you would."
"You have?" Ruthie smiled, "I was afraid you wouldn't remember me and I was making a fool of myself."
"How could I forget the lady who walked right into me on this dock in the middle of a foggy night?" Michael joined her on the dock, "the prettiest lady I've ever seen, remember?"
Ruthie shyly looked down smiling so wide she put her hand to her lips to hide her sharp teeth. His bloody human scent was almost unbearably alluring as she stood so close to him wanting so badly to be in his arms, but knowing a future in a normal relationship was impossible for them. She knew the only way they could ever be together was for him to become like she was. But she could never attack him and possess him the way Amy suggested or the way Robert had attacked Amy. Even for love, she couldn't betray Michael and destroy his chance to fulfill his life's dream for her own selfish gain and possibly cause his feelings of attraction to become feelings of hatred and resentment. She'd rather walk away from him tonight with the incredible memory of being admired for the first and possibly last time in her life by a strong handsome man than selfishly take possession of him and live with the guilt of taking away his life.
"Why you looking down at the ground?" Michael touched her chin and tipped her head up to look into her eyes, "I can't see your beautiful face like that."
"If you keep saying my face is beautiful," Ruthie whispered, "I'm going to either start believing you really think so or that you're very good at lying to me."
"Oh, it's true all right," Michael looked deeply into her eyes, "I been trying to believe that the other night wasn't a dream when I saw you in all that fog. Now I know you're real."
Elated, but also feeling guilty for deceiving Michael with her evil secret and encouraging him when there was no future for them, Ruthie agreed to take a walk with him around the area. When he asked why she preferred to remain secluded in the alleys and shadows of buildings and trees, she lied that the lady she worked for didn't allow her out at night and believed her to be asleep in her room. She didn't want to be recognized by anyone who might tell her employer that she had been disobedient and possibly lose her position.
He asked her about her position and about Amy being her sister. She answered all his questions with lies and felt new pangs of guilt with every lie she told. She wondered how many pangs of guilt a person could endure before they would stab her to death from the inside out. Of course, as a vampire, pangs of guilt couldn't kill her so there was no limit to the amount of lies and sins she could commit before someone found her out and killed her themselves. She avoided telling Michael any more lies by asking him to tell her about his life. Ruthie learned that Michael was a former slave who had purchased his own freedom from his master, a merchant in Virginia. Living his life on the coast, Michael had always been lured by the romance and adventure of the sea and had a dream of joining a crew on a commercial ship and earning enough money to buy a piece of land to call his own and to raise a family to will the land to someday. Ruthie loved to hear Michael talk about his dreams and his hopes for the future as they walked together on the dock, his arm around her waist. She loved the sound of his voice and pressure of his arm around her. She fantasized helping him realize his dreams even though she knew that she could never share in his dreams, no matter how much she longed to be the mother of his children and his partner in life.
A passionate romance grew between them, made much more intense and urgent because of the inevitable separation of the lovers. Ruthie had never been in love and never dreamed that any decent man could love a poor servant girl such as herself. She was certain no one could love the evil sinner that she truly was. Since her lover, Michael, would soon be leaving, possibly never to return, Ruthie couldn't bring herself to tell him her horrible secret. The guilt of her dishonesty was almost unbearable, but she rationalized it with the reality that Michael would soon pass out of her life forever and she wanted to have the memory of parting as lovers. She wanted Michael to remember her as he believed her to be, not the horrid monster that she really was. Being a vampire, needing to drink the blood of living things; guilty of so many murders, either directly or as Amy's accomplice, she felt she didn't deserve a bit of the happiness she had found with Michael, even if it was only for a week, but it could be the only love of a man she might experience for the rest of her eternal life.
Near the end of the week when he asked if he could have the honor of including her in his plans Ruthie was thrilled by his request and her heart swelled with love and desire for Michael. Overwhelmed by Michael's love and hope for their future together, the future she so badly wanted, she almost forgot what she was, a tool of the devil who wasn't deserving of the life that he so innocently and openly offered her. Heartbroken, she was speechless and burdened with the guilt of hiding her vampirism from him, sad that she could never be the woman he dreamed of to share his life and raise his family, and also very happy that he actually loved and wanted her. Tears ran down her cheeks and she raised her hand to her mouth as she did many times this p
ast week for fear of showing her teeth.
"Please give me something to come home to," Michael held took both of her hands in his and Ruthie looked down at the planks of the dock, "the thought of coming home to you will give me even more reason to work hard and come home safe."
Ruthie still couldn't speak, she was so overcome with emotion that she could only shake her head in agreement allowing Michael to misinterpret her tears of sadness as tears of joy.