“Chill, man,” Kai said, placing the palms of his hands on Ezra’s shoulders, but Ezra shrugged them off.
“No, I can’t afford to get caught with this shit in my car, Kai!”
“Damn, dude, fine. Sorry. I won’t light up another in your car again,” he said, attempting to appease Ezra.
“Damn right you won’t,” Ezra said, marching to the trunk of his GTO and opening it with his keys. He pulled out Kai’s bag and started to toss out all his belongings onto the gravel below.
Kai’s hands went to his head. “You’ve lost it, dude! That’s all my stuff, man!”
“Ezra, let’s talk about this,” I said as calmly as I could.
“Don’t worry,” he told me. “I’m just going through it to find whatever else he might be hiding in here so I can toss it as well.”
“Aw, man, that’s harsh,” Kai said, folding his arms like a little kid and kicking at the gravel.
I rolled my eyes. “Bad, Kai,” I mocked, shaking my finger at him. “This is very bad, Kai!”
Kai fought a smile. “Oh, shut up, Jupiter.”
“Ha! Should have respected your cousin, man.”
“I didn’t think he was serious.”
Ezra stopped searching his bags for a moment to stare at him.
“Ooh, boy, you better run,” I teased.
“Where is it?” Ezra asked, gesturing toward Kai’s luggage.
“There,” Kai grumbled, pointing at a pocket on the outside of his case.
Ezra dug his hands inside the outside pocket and pulled out a bag of Cannabis sativa. He dumped it into the grass, surprising me, and Kai groaned.
“Don’t worry, Kai. In just a few weeks, you should have a full plant here soon,” I teased.
Ezra looked up at me as if I’d lost my head.
I shrugged my shoulders. “What?”
“You’re not helping,” he told me.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
“I can’t even believe this,” Kai moaned. “I’m not gonna be able to smoke again until Chicago!”
“Kai.” Ezra sighed in exasperation and made a move to put Kai’s stuff back but stopped. He looked up, his face serious. He sniffed. “You smell that?” he asked.
Both of us stopped, raised our noses in the air, because, you know, those few inches make all the difference in the world.
“What is that?” I asked, smelling something smoky and sweet.
“The field,” Ezra said eerily quietly with a raised finger.
Kai and I turned toward the ten feet worth of grass between the road and the long stretches of pine trees lining the highway.
“It’s on fire!” Kai said, panicking.
“The joint,” I whispered, catching Ezra’s eyes.
All three of us ran toward the building fire.
“Think that blanket in the car could smother it?” I asked Ezra.
“Let’s see how bad it is first,” he panted as we rushed toward the smoke. “Maybe it will be a simple fix.”
Kai reached it first. “It’s not that bad!” he screamed toward us, and instant alleviation flooded through me until he reared his foot back.
“No!” Ezra and I shouted, but it was too late.
Kai kicked the fire. Kicked it. Like an asshole.
Ezra and I were forced to watch red burning embers fly through the air and hit dry grass in a ten-foot radius. Kai realized his mistake too late.
“Oh shit!” he yelled as if in slow motion.
“You’re supposed to stomp it, dumb ass!” Ezra hollered.
Frantically, we ran from burning fire to burning fire, wildly trying to tame the spreading flames, but as soon as we were done with one, we’d turn only to find another. Soon, the patches engulfed got bigger and bigger, but Ezra refused to give up. He repeatedly stomped and pounded, striding across the fire’s boundary edges. Kai and I kept pace with him. I was inhaling smoke, making me choke and cough, but I kept going.
“Get that moving blanket in the trunk of the GTO!” Ezra yelled at me over the roar of the fire.
I nodded and ran as fast I could, my legs weak from the effort of stomping. I reached the back of the car and rummaged around until I found the blanket then ran back. Ezra spread the blanket over a big patch of flames, hoping to cut off its oxygen enough that we could stamp it out.
To my utter relief, we were able to put the fire out more quickly than it could spread, and we dragged that blanket all over the embankment, smothering flames and preventing them from licking at the trees that lined the road. That would have proved disastrous, to say the least, because we’d be screwed with no orange juice as they would have likely driven up and out.
Ezra put out the last burning ember, and we all three collapsed to the burnt grass in severe exhaustion, but free from our fear of the forest catching.
I gulped in air at a dangerous rate.
“Slow down, Jupiter,” Ezra whispered, winded.
I tried to slow my breaths. I inhaled through my nose and out my mouth, but they both burned from the new cool air.
“It’s the smoke,” he said, sitting up. “You’ll be okay,” he said, grabbing my hands.
I batted them away. “Just let me die,” I whined, swallowing air in faster than Frankie inhaled popcorn on free refill night at The Galaxy.
Ezra laughed and yanked me up anyway. “Not a chance in hell,” he said.
He made me stand against the side of the car as he reached into a cooler in the trunk for a water and cracked the lid open. He thrust it in my face.
“Drink,” he ordered, still heaving.
I took it from him but was unable to drink because I was wheezing so hard. I gulped before bringing my shaking hands up to my lips and swallowing water. It felt so unbelievably good sliding down my chafed throat. I watched as Ezra took a swig of water, swished it around his mouth then spit, so I copied him. We both drank until we were no longer panting.
Ezra took a bottle of water over to Kai, who still laid in the grass.
“I’m quitting the ganja. Today,” he wheezed.
“Let’s go,” Ezra said, leading me to my side of the car.
He opened the door for me so I sat. I tried to lift my legs, but they ached with fatigue. Ezra noticed and bent, though I know it was probably painful for him, and lifted them into the car for me. His hands scorched the backs of my knees. I practically hissed at the electric currents they caused as they ran up and down the length before settling in my stomach.
“Thank you,” I whispered, unable to make eye contact.
Please don’t let him notice my reaction to him, I thought.
Ezra closed my door for me before swinging around the front of the GTO. I watched him, covered in black soot from head to toe, and a side-splitting guffaw left my lips. I looked down at myself and discovered I looked the same. Kai popped up in my side-view mirror for a brief moment then headed for Ezra’s side of the car. Ezra opened the door for him and Kai plopped into the backseat, dead tired, and covered in black soot and grit.
Ezra got in and closed his door. The three of us looked ridiculous.
“’Ello govna!” I exclaimed with the goofiest smile I could muster. “Chim chimney! Chim, chim, cher-oo!”
The car quieted a moment before both of them laughed. When things stilled down again, Ezra started the engine and pulled back out onto the highway.
“We’re freaking covered.” Ezra sighed.
“You have a nice laugh,” I told him.
Ezra smiled at me, actually smiled, and I inwardly swooned.
“Thanks,” he said.
“What should we do now?” I asked, gesturing my hands down my smoking body. Tsst! Yeah, I did that.
“Well,” Ezra sighed again, “I’m thirsty as hell, and hungry, and I just want to sit down and eat.”
“Agreed,” I said. “What do you think, idiot?” I asked Kai, turning around.
“I could eat,” he answered, his voice muffled by the seat, and shrugged.
Ezra pulled into a little aluminum bedazzled roadside diner a few miles down from where the fire had been. We all three got out and started walking the gravel path toward the entrance. Ezra opened the door for me and once we’d all piled inside, the din of the diner, busy with passing truckers and families on last-minute summer road trips hushed, turning to stare at us. A woman sitting at the register, fitting every diner-waitress stereotype known to man with her beehive, button nose, scalloped apron, and smacking gum, gawked at us.
“Your finest table!” I announced, making Ezra choke.
“This way,” she said, tossing an arm at a booth in the middle of the diner.
I slid into the booth first, my heart lurching when Ezra chose to sit next to me. Kai sat, spreading out his arms in his usual manner, and the waitress slapped plastic menus down for us.
“Can I get ya anythin’ to drink?” she drawled.
“Water,” we all croaked at once.
She eyed us like we were three people sitting in a diner in the middle of the most rural county in Georgia mysteriously covered in black soot… Wait a minute.
“Be right back,” she told us, smacking her gum again.
I looked around the diner and out the glass window onto the highway before noticing the tables had those old-fashioned mini jukeboxes on them. “Got a dime?” I asked Ezra.
“Sure,” he said, reaching into his pocket and tossing it my direction.
I caught it and put it into the little slot, winding the little metal knob until it clicked and you could hear the clink of the dime tumbling throughout the little machine.
“B-four,” I whispered, clicking the buttons.
We waited but it didn’t work.
“Aw, man,” I fussed. “Too bad.”
“You owe me a dime. Or a song,” Ezra teased.
“No way, José. Who carries a dime around with them?”
“Uh, I do,” he answered, acting offended.
I ignored him. “I do have a lovely singing voice, though.”
“Really?” Ezra asked, leaning back in the booth.
“Yeah, people have told me I have a similar sound to Charo. I sing a mean Cuchi Cuchi Coo, if you’re interested.”
Ezra’s face broke into an ear-splitting grin. “There’s that smile again,” I observed.
He shook his head, burying his chin in his chest as if he was embarrassed, and my heart grew two sizes at how charming that was. I could eat him up.
My hands flew to the table, searching. “Why are there never any spoons when you need them?”
“What are you talkin—” he began, but stopped when the waitress laid three glasses of water down as well as a full pitcher.
“Somethin’ told me you’d be needin’ it, darlins,” she said and winked. She’d gotten over the initial shock, it seemed. “Be right back to take your orders.”
We perused our menus. “Wonder if I could get this gravy on the side,” I said to no one.
Someone turned up the television.
“We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news—” a woman drawled.
“I don’t think I want anything this heavy, though.” I sighed, remarking upon the greasy chicken fried steak.
“—of a grass fire off Interstate 75 in Crisp County that has spiraled out of control—”
“But then again, who knows when we’ll be stopping again and I don’t want to be hungry later.”
“—encroaching on the forested area and heading south toward—”
I slammed my menu down. “I don’t care! I’m getting the chicken fried steak,” I declared.
“Dance, Dance, Dance” by The Beach Boys flared through the diner’s speakers.
I gasped, sitting up. “My song!”
Ezra whipped me from my seat so fast my next sentence blurred in the wind.
“What’s everyone staring at?” I asked the stunned diners.
He threw me over his shoulder, his warm hand splayed against my backside, and my cheeks turned beet red. I could feel it.
“Ezra!”
With the diner patrons hot on our heels, he pushed the door open with his free hand, and followed Kai out to the GTO with me bouncing over his shoulder.
“The keys!” Kai yelled at Ezra.
I felt more than saw him toss them at Kai. A moment later the unmistakable rumble of the engine sounded and I was shoved into the backseat of the GTO. Ezra fell on top of me as Kai tore out of the parking lot, gravel kicking up behind our tires, the passenger-side door swinging as the car fishtailed onto the on-ramp.
Ezra pushed up, leaning over the back of the front seat and pulled the door closed.
“What was that?” I asked.
“The fire,” Ezra wheezed.
“What fire?” I asked.
Ezra and Kai both gave me a deadpan stare.
I cleared my throat. “Oh, uh, that fire.”
“We should have stayed longer to make sure,” Ezra huffed.
It got quiet before Kai whispered, “We’re fugitives.”
Ezra settled in next to me, looked over, and rolled his eyes.
“Turn on the radio,” Ezra said.
We both sat up and leaned against the front seats as Kai flipped through station after station to get any kind of news about the fire, but we couldn’t find any. Apparently it wasn’t news enough for the bigger stations.
“What should we do?” Kai gulped, visibly nervous.
“I don’t know, Cheech. Maybe you should consult Chong?” Ezra asked.
I looked at Ezra, my mouth agape. “Who is this?” I asked him.
His signature smirk appeared and I almost fell over. I want your babies! Or, well, maybe not your babies. Um, eventually your babies, like, in ten years or something. Maybe we could just adopt a rescue dog or something first! You know, feel things out! I screamed. Well, in my head I screamed, because, as you know, doing so out loud would have been highly inappropriate. That, and since I had almost two weeks left with Ezra, things would have been awkward if I had, and awkward Jupiter was an overall bad look on me.
“It never would have happened if you hadn’t thrown it into the grass, dude.”
“Dude, it never would have happened if you’d never lit up in the first place!”
They began shouting back and forth, hurling insults.
“Boys! Stop!” I chimed in, and they both looked at me. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t actually think you’d stop. Continue.”
“Kai, drive through this godforsaken county, find a motel, and we’ll hole up for a few hours, check the news,” Ezra ordered.
“Yeah,” I said, puckering my lips. “Runnin’ from the law. Shufflin’ the pigs. Dodgin’ the 5-0. Giv’n the bacon the ol’ slip!”
“Jupiter,” Ezra said, sounding exasperated. He ran a hand down his face. I swear I saw him fight a slight smile, though. I wouldn’t bet my life on it or anything. Maybe Frankie’s. There’s a possibility I’d bet Frankie’s.
“Got it, sarge,” I said, saluting him.
We drove in silence for almost two hours, desperate to get as far away as possible from our crime scene. A state trooper passed by us, and we all threw on our best Martha Stewart postures. I plastered what I thought was a very genuine smile, but Ezra told me I looked like one of those dog memes where someone has Photoshopped human teeth on them, which I thought was very rude.
Kai turned into an ancient motel called Huckleberry Inn. It had one of those signs from the 1950s, that at the time, probably seemed cheery and sweet, but now looked like the panning entrance shot of a film where cheerleaders yield chainsaws while chanting, “Gimme a D! Gimme an E! Gimme an A! Gimme a D! What’s that spell? You! That’s what it spells!” Then they move at a snail’s pace to come hack at you, but for some reason you’ve forgotten you have legs, so you sit there screaming with your hands up.
“I don’t know about this,” Ezra said warily.
“Yes. Yes, it will do just fine,” I told him.
“You wan
t to sleep here?” Ezra asked, obviously bewildered.
“Sleep? Oh no. No, I meant murdered. This will be the perfect place to be murdered.”
“Kai, turn around. Keep driving.”
“This is just as good a place as any, Ezra. We need to shower, clean the car out, and all that. We can’t keep going because we run the risk of running into police.”
Ezra sighed. “Fine then. I’ll get us a room.”
“Wait,” I said. “Pull over to the side of the building. You need to change your sooty clothing and maybe run some water over your face.”
Ezra nodded. “Good idea.”
Kai pulled around and we all got out, meeting at the back of the GTO. I leaned in for the cooler and started to yank out a water bottle but stopped when I noticed a water hose stuck to the side near a pool pump.
“There’s a water hose,” I said, pointing it out.
“Oh cool,” Ezra said, yanking his T-shirt over his head in the way boys took off their shirts that made girls drool.
I wiped at my mouth. Ezra was built. Brick by brick, that boy was stacked. Someone call a docta, I’m feelin’ faint! I felt my mouth fall open and was powerless to close it. He strode over to the hose like the director of an Abercrombie shoot was nearby. I almost keeled over.
“Careful,” Kai whispered in my ear, startling me.
It was the motivation I needed. I cleared my throat. Act cool. “I wasn’t looking!” I shouted at him. #Facepalm
His smile was wide when he winked. “Jupiter, your Great Red Spot is showing.”
I covered my face, mortified.
“Kai, please don’t say anything to him.”
“Oh, I’m going to say something.”
“Kai!” I yelled, clutching his shirt and bringing him in close, eye to eye. “Hell hath no fury, Kai,” I gritted.
Kai paled and swallowed. “Okay, okay!” He backed away, straightening his clothing, and put some distance between us. He looked off into the parking lot behind me. “I think… Yeah, I think I saw my life just flash before my eyes.” I held up two fingers at my eyes then jabbed them toward him. “Gah! I promise. I promise. Just please go back to the old Jupiter.” I smiled prettily at him and he looked horrified. “That isn’t… That’s just not normal,” he muttered to himself. He walked off toward the courtyard at the back of the motel.