She must have been hurt—fucking horribly abused. I didn’t want to think how, exactly. I remembered Roderick, the ancient vamp Corbin had asked me to stand down right after Taylor and I were bonded. He’d wanted her back, badly enough to challenge the blood-bond between us—something unheard of in either vamp or were circles as far as I knew. What did he do to her? What did that sick fucker do?
Just wondering that was enough to make a low growl rise in my throat. I knew Roderick was dead now—Corbin had killed him using some kind of dark witchcraft I didn’t understand and didn’t want anything to do with. But part of me wished he was still around so I could rip his throat out. If he had been the one to put the fear in Taylor’s eyes, he deserved to have his guts carved out and served to him for supper.
Just listen to yourself, the little voice scoffed. Getting all fucking protective and possessive of a vamp. Get over it and let the Change take you…let it take you before it’s too late.
I felt the brand on my lower back burning again and knew the voice was right. I couldn’t delay any longer. If I did, I risked bringing down the curse. It hadn’t happened to me in months, not since I’d moved to Tampa, but that was no guarantee of anything. It was one thing to get stuck in my animal form—that didn’t bother me except for missed work. Since I owned my own company, it was more of an inconvenience than anything else. But if I got trapped in my other form, the one the curse made me take…
I shivered all over and began shedding my clothes. Far off to my left in the dense woods I could hear the long, liquid cry of another of my kind. The local pack sometimes ran on the land abutting mine—something I wished I would have known before buying. But so far, except for a few brief meetings on full moon nights and one or two overly friendly gestures by some of the single females of the pack, they left me alone and I left them alone. That was exactly the way I liked it—as a lone wolf, I had no interest in joining them.
Not that they would have me if they knew about the curse.
The brand burned again, aching, throbbing. It was invisible except on a full moon night or when the curse was about to become active. Then it glowed, outlined in a dull reddish light like someone had tattooed me with fire. In fact, that was sort of what had happened. It was glowing now as I stripped off my shirt. I was glad I had privacy as I undressed.
At last I stood naked in the woods, feeling the moonlight caress my skin. People talk about the “man in the moon” but we weres know the moon is female—a great, round goddess riding the night sky, always calling to those that can hear her. Sometimes her call is soft, sometimes, like tonight when she’s full, it’s almost deafening.
The call was strong this evening—riding me, urging me onward. Thinking past it was almost impossible. Still, I made a conscious decision to stay far from the house tonight. If I did get stuck in my animal form—which happened often—I wanted to have plenty of distance between myself and Taylor. She reminded me of a wounded creature—a bird with a broken wing. Easy prey for my wolf if I let myself get too close, especially when the animal inside me would see her as an enemy—something to be hurt and destroyed.
Come, whispered the silver voice of the moon. Come…run…hunt…be free…
Putting both the little vampire and the local pack out of my mind, I closed my eyes and answered the call. I felt my body shift and change, the joints bending in different, inhuman directions, my skin flowing with fur. My wolf was coming forward and I let him, reached for him and his mindless instinct eagerly with all that was in me.
My senses were suddenly sharper, the moonlight was brighter, the woods were filled with smells and sounds. Small creatures scratched in the underbrush. Owls floated almost noiselessly from branch to branch. Far off in the distance I thought I heard a panther scream.
Again there was a long, lonesome howl from deep in the trees. This time I threw back my head and answered it, a full throated howl coming from my muzzle. I might not want to run with the pack but a wolf always answers another.
And then the wolf came forward completely and instinct took over, erasing all rational thought, doing away with any kind of human reason. I was a beast—a mindless beast—and happy to be one.
I howled again and loped into the woods.
Chapter Three—Taylor
I listened to the mournful howling outside the window and shivered. God, was that Victor out there? It must be. I listened again, and this time, I thought I heard more than one wolf. They seemed to be calling and answering each other. Was there a whole pack out there? But I’d thought Victor was a lone wolf. What if Corbin had been wrong? What if they found out about me—about Victor being blood-bonded to a vampire—and wanted to kill me?
It’s all right, I told myself uneasily. It’s going to be all right as long as you don’t advertise your presence. Well, that was easy enough. I planned to stay right here, in the house, and not step one foot outside. In the mean time, I decided to go around and lock all the windows and doors just to be safe. Victor had acted like he might be gone for days—I might as well take the opportunity to explore my temporary home.
The cabin was as gorgeous on the inside as it was on the outside, though some parts were clearly still under construction. The kitchen was finished and the fridge was well stocked with lots of red meat and bacon and cheese—no surprise there, Victor was clearly a carnivore—but also a head of lettuce and some tomatoes. Hmm, so maybe he ate a salad from time to time? There was a six pack of Sam Adams and a box with a slice of cold pizza in it, which I stared at with longing. I had always been kind of a foodie back before I was turned but vamps can’t eat. The most we can do is sip a little liquid from time to time and not too much of that.
I closed the fridge with a sigh. Well, Victor had been gracious enough to give me his blood, maybe I could make him a meal when he got back. It had been a while since I had cooked anything but I used to grill a mean steak. And anyway, wasn’t I the little woman now? Shouldn’t I be meeting him at the door in a frilly apron with a dry martini saying, “How was your day, dear?”
I couldn’t help laughing at the ridiculous mental image. I could almost see myself standing there, dressed in a naughty little apron and not much else while Victor walked through the door. Could almost see his eyes flash gold as he looked at me and hear the low growl in his voice as he took me in his arms and kissed me…kissed me tenderly but so urgently. As if he couldn’t wait to take me to bed. To…
God, where did that come from! I shook my head, trying to get rid of the weird fantasy. I didn’t want the big were to kiss me, I told myself firmly. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. And yet, the mental image persisted. I couldn’t help imagining those big, warm hands caressing my skin, stroking up and down my sides, cupping my breasts.
“Stop it!” I said out loud. What was wrong with me? Why was I imagining these things—feeling like this? But it wouldn’t stop. I licked my lips, still tasting the faint trace of his delicious blood. My breasts felt heavy and tender and my nipples were tight. The area between my legs was swollen and throbbing. What was going on?
It was the same problem I’d had ever since our wedding. The strange feelings that wouldn’t leave me alone. I should be incapable of getting aroused. After what Roderick had done to me, I should never want to be within fifty feet of any man ever again.
So why was I feeling like this? And why couldn’t I stop thinking of Victor? Remembering his smell, his taste…
I went to the kitchen sink and splashed ice cold water on my face until I was gasping. It helped—a little.
“There,” I said out loud. “That’s better.”
It occurred to me that I was getting into the habit of talking to myself, which was sort of bordering on crazy. I needed to get a grip. I remembered that I had seen a box of chamomile tea in one of Victor’s cabinets and made a plan on the spot. I would explore the rest of the house and then make myself a soothing cup of tea to sip while I watched something mindless on TV. And I would not entertain any more fantasies abo
ut the big were who was now my husband.
“Temporary husband,” I reminded myself as I retreated from the kitchen and went to look at the rest of the house.
The upstairs rooms were still clearly under construction. They looked like they were going to be some guest bedrooms and maybe a study. Downstairs was almost completely finished. Besides the kitchen there was a breakfast nook and a vast living area filled with a big brown leather sectional and a large flat screen TV.
Probably where he watches the game, I thought, imagining Victor sprawled on the couch, his long, muscular form taking up most of the sectional. He would have the remote in one hand, clicking idly. I would come up behind him and kiss the back of his neck.
“Who’s winning?” I would ask.
He wouldn’t answer—instead he would reach up and pull me into his lap. I would snuggle close and breathe in his rich, masculine scent. The heat of his big body would warm me all the way through. One large hand would slip into my blouse and cup my breast, his thumb sliding gently over my nipple until a sweet, lazy lust filled me, making me hot, making me want him…
God, I was doing it again! I shook myself and took a deep breath, trying to clear my head. What was going on with all the weird fantasies? The feelings I’d been having for ages, but these strange little flashes of what my life would be like with Victor if we were really a couple…not to mention the way they kept getting sexual—well, it was too much.
Keep going, I told myself sternly. Look at the rest of the house. Concentrate on that and stop fantasizing.
Except the next step on my self-guided tour led me straight to the master bedroom.
I stared in dismay at the king sized bed, realizing suddenly that it was the only bed in the house. Was this where I was supposed to sleep? I went to the windows on the far side of the room, noting that they were far enough from the bed not to cast any light on it when the sun was up. But when I got closer, I saw that it wouldn’t have been a problem, even if they had been closer. Victor had covered the glass panes completely in heavy duty aluminum foil and there were thick, navy blue blackout drapes hanging across them that matched the dark blue spread on the bed.
Wow, he really had been preparing the house for me. That was…actually, it was kind of nice. Maybe he was a more thoughtful guy than I’d given him credit for.
I went back and sat on the bed for a minute, testing its firmness. It would be the first time I had slept—really slept—in a real bed in years. I’d had a creaky little cot at Corbin’s club, Under the Fang. And in Celeste’s house I had been given a dark, cobwebby crawlspace beneath the floorboards to sleep in. It had been horrible but I still liked it much better than any of her palatial bedrooms. That was because spending time in bed always meant torture of some kind. Celeste enjoyed hurting others as much as most people enjoy sex—more, actually. And she especially loved to act out her kinky fantasies on me…
I pushed the memory away with a real effort and buried my face in one of the plump, king sized pillows at the head of the bed instead. I breathed deeply, filling my senses with Victor’s scent. Dark spice. Fur and leather and sunlight in the forest… I don’t know why but it calmed me down.
It’s over now, I reminded myself. Roderick is dead and Celeste can’t touch me. I’m safe. I’m safe here.
I only wished I could believe it. Even more, I wished I could exorcise the memories of my personal season in hell. I had told Addison most of it—I would have gone insane if I couldn’t talk to someone. But some things were too awful to express in words. Too horrible to remember yet too dreadful to forget…
I became aware that I was crying and sat up hastily. Since vamps cry blood for tears, it’s important to watch it when you have a breakdown. I looked down anxiously—I didn’t want to stain Victor’s sheets.
There was a small drop of blood on the pillowcase I’d been lying on but it was so tiny as to be unnoticeable, especially against the dark blue pillowcase. I flipped the pillow over just to be sure and went to the bathroom to get some tissue.
After blotting my red-rimmed eyes, I looked around the master bath. It was very nice—all done in dark gray marble with a walk-in shower and a garden tub. There was only one window, high up in the shower stall. Which meant I wouldn’t be taking any showers during the day but then, I would probably be sleeping anyway. Most people think vamps are dead—all the way dead—while the sun is up, but that’s not true. We just sleep very deeply—so deeply we’re almost impossible to wake—which is why it’s so important to be someplace safe and light tight before you finally let yourself collapse.
There was a vast walk-in closet at the far end of the room, which appeared to be sparsely filled with mostly jeans and t-shirts. (Yes, I looked through his clothes. I know—I’m nosey.) There were several pairs of work boots too as well as a laundry basket of what appeared to be clean towels, another basket filled with dirty clothes, and a first aid kit, but nothing else of much interest.
I came back out into the master bathroom and my eyes were once again draw to the tub. I liked it a lot. So much that I decided to modify my plans and have my mug of tea while I took a soothing bubble bath. I got the water running and looked around for something to use for bubbles but there was nothing but a bright green cake of Irish Spring in the shower. No big surprise there—Victor was a man’s man if I had ever seen one. There was no way I was going to run across a bottle of Bath and Body Works Sweet Pea bubble bath in here.
Finally, I ended up using some lemon scented dish-soap I found in the kitchen while making my tea. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted but getting a hot, soothing bubble bath for the first time in years was such a treat I didn’t care. Back at our old apartment, Addison and I had drawn up a regular bath schedule because there wasn’t enough hot water for both of us to have one on the same night. I treasured my bath nights, even though our little tub hadn’t been nearly as deep and luxurious as Victor’s.
I piled my hair on top of my head and secured it with a pencil I found lying on the bedside table. Really, I was going to have to get Addison to bring me some things. I thought about calling her up and chatting about my new temporary house right then, but from the looks she and Corbin had been giving each other, I was certain she was busy.
A little smile crossed my lips when I thought of my tough-as-nails Vampire Auditor best friend finally giving in to her attraction to the big blond master vamp. Corbin had been after her for ages—intent on making her his from the first minute he’d seen her. I was glad she had finally realized how sincere he was and allowed herself to find love. If only that could happen to me…
But it wasn’t going to—not now. Once, back when I was human, before Celeste had taken me and turned me, I had thought it would be possible. I used to imagine finishing vet school and opening my own small animal practice somewhere in Tampa. Treating my four-legged patients and then coming home to a loving husband and a sweet little boy or girl at the end of the day. Maybe both—why not? I had always loved kids and I was sure I would make a great mom.
Back when I had the ability to become a mom, that was. Vampires can’t have kids—the blood flowing through our veins is too cold and there isn’t enough nutrition in it to nourish a fetus. Not to mention the fact that even if I could get pregnant and carry a baby to term, I still wouldn’t do it. Because getting pregnant would entail having sex with someone and that was something I had sworn off forever.
“Never again,” I whispered, sinking lower in the tub, letting the lemon-scented bubbles cover me. “Never…never again…”
I don’t know how long I stayed in the tub, dozing and sipping the soothing chamomile tea. Hours, probably—I just kept adding hot water. Anyway, it was long enough to finish my tea. I wondered idly where Victor had gotten it. He didn’t seem the type to drink any kind of tea—let alone the fussy herbal stuff. Maybe it was a present from his mom? An old girlfriend? Imagining him with another girl made me uncomfortable for some reason. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift to other, more ple
asant subjects.
“Want me to scrub your back?” he’d say, coming in to the bathroom while I was taking a bath.
“Sure.” I would sit up, gathering the bubbles around my breasts demurely, and presenting him with my bare back.
“Mmmm…” His voice would be a deep growl of approval as he sat on the edge of the tub and slid one big, warm hand over my naked, shivering back. He would soap me for awhile and then his hand would slide lower, slipping down under the waters to find my pussy and cup me there. I would feel those long fingers parting me, letting the hot water rush in to stroke my silky folds until I moaned…
This time I didn’t try to fight the fantasy. I didn’t know why I kept having these visions—it was bizarre to say the least, since I didn’t even really know the big were—but I was tired of trying not to imagine him. He might be big and scary and rough around the edges but he was much nicer to think about than the horrible things I’d gone through while I was at the mercy of Celeste.
The feelings grew inside me until I couldn’t help myself anymore. Slowly, my hand dipped beneath the bubbles. I gave a little moan when I cupped myself—I couldn’t help it. I had thought this part of me was dead and yet, here tonight, it seemed very much alive. I slipped my fingers into my pussy and caressed the hot little bud of my clit. My own touch felt wonderful but I could feel my body aching for more, begging for the rough yet gentle touch of someone else…
I touched myself slowly at first and then more rapidly, giving in to the pleasure that overwhelmed me again and again. And yet, I still wasn’t satisfied. Why—?
A long, desolate howl suddenly cut through my pleasurable contemplation. My heart pounding, I sat up in the tub with a jerk that sent a wave of lukewarm water over the side. Looking up at the window located in the shower stall, I was shocked to see the first gray-pink tendrils of dawn creeping in.