apron was incongruous in a room that had a whipping chair, a
doctor’s table with a TENS unit, and a St. Andrew’s Cross.
“Don’t you feel self-conscious, Miss Jennifer. I’ve been cleaning
up after Master Stefan’s parties for years. I received very thorough
training on how to take care of all the toys and sterilize them.”
Dear god, Stef had hired Mary Poppins to watch after his
collection of vibrators. “I am so sorry.”
Her laughter trilled through the air. “Not at all, dear. The master is a bit odd when it comes to his sexual proclivities, but he’s a very dear boy. I’ve been with him since he turned sixteen. Miss Stella hired me
to take care of the house.”
Jen’s curiosity was on full alert. Carefully keeping the covers
around her, she sat up and grabbed the coffee. “Stella hired you?”
“Yes. Stella practically raised the master, you know. After his
father left, Stella took over. She didn’t trust the nannies, you see. She
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was only in her twenties herself, and she’d never had children, but she loved Master Stefan like he was her own.”
Stef had been lucky. Stella was a natural mother. It had always
been a bit confusing to Jen why someone with as much love to give as
Stella had never gotten married. As far as Jen could tell, Stella never even dated. She’d thrown herself into her business and caring for the
people around her.
“Why did Stella take over? Max and Rye’s mom was alive then.
So was Callie’s mom. That would have made more sense.”
She shrugged. “I have my theories, but nothing concrete. Stella
felt a deep connection to the young boy. He felt it, too. I came in to let you know that Master Stefan is having breakfast. I don’t believe he
wanted to wake you, but I thought it might be a good idea if you
joined him for breakfast. He’s dining with his father, you see.”
That could go very poorly, and the last thing she needed was for
Stef to screw things up with his dad. It had become very apparent to
Jen that part of Stef’s problem was his unresolved conflict with his
father. She wanted to be there to referee.
“Thanks, Mrs. Truss. I would very much like to join the Talbot
men.”
The older woman nodded her head as though satisfied. She started
out the door but turned. “Oh, and you have a call. It’s on hold. I had it transferred out here. Just pick up the phone on the nightstand, and it should come on. I’ll let the cook know to set up another place setting.
I’m very happy you’re here, Miss Jennifer. I think you’ll be perfect
for the master.”
The door closed behind her, and Jen picked up the phone,
wondering who would call her here. Everyone she knew would call
her cell phone.
“Hello?” Jen asked, holding the phone to her ear.
Ten minutes later, soul utterly deflated, Jen got dressed, packed
her clothes, and placed another call, this one to Callie Hollister-
Wright. After arranging her transportation, she walked out of the
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guesthouse. She made her way to the main house and the breakfast
room, her heart sick. She had to face Stef.
For the last time.
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Chapter Sixteen
“Have you thought at all about what I said to you yesterday,
Stefan?”
Stef looked up from his coffee as his father took the seat across
the table from him. Had he thought about what his father had told
him? He’d been awake all night thinking about his relationship with
Jennifer, and his father’s words had played over and over again.
His mother had been certain she wanted a family. His father had
said it himself. She’d been sure she wanted children, had pushed him
for marriage and kids. Would it be the same with his Jennifer? Would
he marry her and then be left behind when she realized how big the
world was?
“Of course,” Stef said smoothly to his father. Stef found he’d
softened toward him sometime in the night. He’d finally felt a true
kinship with the man. They both loved women who could break them
in two. “I want you to know that I don’t blame you. You wouldn’t
have been happy here in Bliss. I understand, and I appreciate that you were willing to let me stay. It would have been easy for you to force
me to go back to Dallas. I am truly glad I stayed here.”
His father’s face flushed. “Yes, you made a family for yourself
here. I can see that. But you’re wrong. I would have been very happy
in Bliss. I was simply too afraid to stay.”
“Afraid?”
His father’s hands slipped around the mug of coffee in front of
him. He took a drink before sighing and sitting back. His eyes were
heavy as he spoke. “Yes, I was very afraid. I told you yesterday that I
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made a mistake in not staying here with you. I deeply regret it, and I hope you won’t make the same mistake I did.”
The food in front of Stef suddenly didn’t seem as appetizing as it
had before. He’d meant to come to the main house, grab some food,
and rejoin Jennifer in the bed they had shared the night before. He’d
meant to feed her from his hands and more than likely make love
again. He’d realized the minute he walked into the house that he
needed a bit of space. The night before he’d thought about keeping
her in Bliss. He was making decisions based on his own needs rather
than hers. He was heading down the same path his father had been
down.
“I don’t intend to make the same mistake, Dad.” Stef forced
himself to pick up his fork. “Why do you think I’ve made the
arrangements I’ve made?”
Studying in France would give her the time she needed to make an
informed decision. Of course she thought she wanted to get married
and start a home. Stef knew Jennifer’s history. Her mother had been a
bit of a drifter. Jennifer had gone to ten different public schools. It made sense that she would want roots, but she had no idea how
famous she could be, how important her work could be. She should
know all the facts before she decided how her life would go. It was
the greatest gift he could give her.
Sebastian’s hands came down on the table, causing it to shake.
“You do not understand me. You are making the same mistake.
You’re walking out on a woman you love.”
Stef sat back. His father’s outburst shook him a bit. The man had
never raised his voice before. “Mom left you, Dad.”
“I’m not talking about your mother. I’m talking about Stella.”
The fork dropped. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“This is what I’ve been trying to discuss with you. You think the
biggest mistake I made was marrying your mother, but it’s not true. I
was impetuous when I married your mother. She was lovely, and I
thought it was time to get married. Your grandfather had turned over
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the reins of the company to me, and then he died. Mother had died the
year before him. I missed my parents terribly. I threw myself into the relationship with
Jackie. I wanted so badly to rebuild the family I had lost that I convinced myself I could love her. It wasn’t until I met
Stella Benoit that I realized I had no idea what it really meant to love a woman.”
Stef sat, shocked at the way his father’s entire being softened at
the mention of Stella’s name. Had he really had this whole life Stef
had never known about? Somehow, he’d thought his father simply
worked. In Stef’s mind, his father’s deepest relationship was with the company he ran. He’d never thought about his father’s heartaches past
the wife who had left him.
“I met her the day we came to Bliss. You won’t remember, but I
didn’t mean to stay here. We were going to visit my sister in Las
Vegas. It was only chance that the car broke down here. It was only
luck that a large section of land had just gone up for sale.”
Stef searched his memory. He had a sudden image of himself as a
child, a bit lost and tired from the long car trip. He’d been relieved when the car had died. His father had taken him to a diner. His feet
couldn’t touch the ground from the booth. He’d sat there swinging his
feet back and forth, back and forth. “It was supposed to be a hotel. A ski resort.”
“Yes. And we were only supposed to stay for the three days it
would take to fix the car.” His father relaxed into his story. “I actually thought about calling to have another car delivered. I was going to
make the call while we sat and had lunch, but those boys walked in.
They walked up and asked if you wanted to play. It was the first time
I’d seen you smile in a month.”
Max and Rye. Oh, he remembered that. They had been grubby
and disheveled from sleeping in the woods for days. They had
explained that they were mountain men. Their momma let them sleep
in a tent on the mountain they lived on. It sounded like a magnificent thing to Stef.
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“While you played with the Harper boys, I talked to the owner of
the diner. A few days turned into a week, a week into a month, and I
bought the land from the hotel developers at twice the price.”
And Stef had rarely left since. He’d gone on trips. He went to
Paris and London. He’d traveled across Europe and Asia. He’d
studied in New York, but Bliss was his home, his heart and soul.
Not really his heart anymore. Jennifer was his heart.
“Why did you leave? If you loved her, why did you leave?”
A look of infinite sadness spread across Sebastian’s face. “I was
afraid. When your mother left, I was devastated. I felt like the world was ripped out from under me. I put everything on hold. Stella was
beautiful, but in every other way she was different from your mother.
In every way but one.”
“She was young.”
Sebastian’s head nodded briefly. “She was twenty-two years old
when I met her. She was working the diner with her mother. She was
even younger than Jackie. And I loved her more than I had imagined
possible. I was in so deep with her. I told myself that it was a rebound fling. I fooled myself into thinking it was casual, but one night about a year in, I almost asked her to marry me.” He put a fist to his mouth as if to stop some great emotion that might come out. “I couldn’t. I
couldn’t do it again. She said all the right things. She said she wanted to be your mother and wanted to have more kids. And I broke it off
with her that night. I just knew she was too young to make that
decision. I left soon after.”
A well of emotion caught Stef squarely in the chest. “She wasn’t
too young. She stayed. She didn’t lie to you or falter. She was my
mother in every way that counted.”
God, she had been. She’d been the one to make sure he had the
things he needed. A thousand memories flashed through his mind.
Stella baking him birthday cakes.
Thanksgivings at the diner.
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Shopping trips to buy him jeans, and later, she learned how to
shop for art supplies.
Every year he’d watched as she’d matured into a woman the town
depended on.
“She wasn’t,” his father repeated Stef’s words. Tears lit his eyes.
“She wasn’t Jackie, and she wasn’t too young. She knew her heart.
She was the other half of my soul, and I threw her away. Even though
I walked away from her and broke her heart, she stayed and watched
after my son.”
“Jennifer isn’t Stella.” The words were stupid and stubborn. He
knew it, but they came anyway. Jennifer was an artist. Artists were
different. Artists had needs. She was gifted.
“No, I’m not.”
Stef turned, and Jennifer stood in the doorway, eyes red rimmed
and glazed with pain.
“Jennifer.” Stef began wondering exactly how much she’d heard.
Her spine was straight, and there was a bag at her feet. What was
going on?
She held a hand out. “Don’t. I have one question and one question
only for you. How were you going to make me go?”
His stomach sank, but he attempted to keep a placid demeanor.
This might be a horrible scene, but if he could remain calm, they had
a better chance at getting out of it without saying something neither could take back. “I take it the Sorbonne called?”
Her green eyes had lost their sparkle. “Yes. They needed some
information. Apparently no one told them it was a secret.”
His heart fluttered as he realized just how hard she was taking
this. The timing was perfectly awful on all counts. He’d certainly not meant for her to find out about it after the way she’d given herself to him the night before. And now, after making love with her and talking
to his father, he wasn’t even sure if he was making the right decision.
For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t utterly certain which path to take.
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“I made the arrangements yesterday,” he explained in an even
tone that belied the way his heart was clawing at his chest. “I would
think you would be thrilled, love. Learning at the Sorbonne is every
artist’s dream.”
She shook her head. “Thanks, then, Stef. It’s a very nice gesture. I
have to turn you down.” She reached down and picked up the suitcase
at her feet. “I’ll come back for the rest of my stuff once I find a place to stay. If you need me, I’ll be at Callie’s for a couple of weeks.”
Stef was on his feet in a second. “What is that supposed to mean?”
He’d expected fire and fury from Jennifer. The deep, abiding
sadness in her form was unexpected. “It means I finally get it, Stef.
You don’t want me. You don’t have to spend a ton of money to send
me halfway across the world. I get it. I won’t be some puppy nipping
at your heels anymore. But this is my home, and I expect you to be
civil when you see me. I’ll be nice, too. In a while, it’ll all just be a distant thing. We’ll just be neighbors.”
His fists clenched, and he felt his face go red. “Neighbors? I’m
not your fucking neighbor, Jennifer. I’m your lover, and I’m doing
what’s best for you. I’m trying to make your dreams come true.”
“Your dreams, Stef,” she said wearily, his anger not moving her a r />
bit, it seemed to Stef. “I know you think I’m some amazing artist, but I want to paint because I love it, not because some critic says I’m the next Van Gogh. Van Gogh’s life sucked. If I get to choose a happy,
mundane life or immortality, then bring on the babies and the laundry
and the date nights. I know you think this is about me, but it’s not.”
He stalked toward her. His hands itched to hold her and haul her
back to the guesthouse. She wasn’t going anywhere. Not about her?
What the fuck was she thinking? His whole life had been about her
since the day she walked into Bliss. “I beg to differ, love. I called in favors, and had my father call in favors, to get you into the program.”
“Stefan.” His father’s tone held a distinct note of warning. “Be
careful what you say.”
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Stef ignored him. He didn’t matter at that moment. Only the fact
that she was defying him mattered. He might have been able to handle
it if she’d fought, but the guilt she was pushing at him was a bit much.
He’d been the one to get her out of jail. Now he was moving heaven
and earth to make sure she could see the world. He’d called yesterday
about an apartment for her in Paris with a view of the Seine and every luxury available. And she called him selfish? “Me? I’m thinking of
me? Was I thinking of myself when I got you out of jail?”
“I appreciate that, Stefan.”
He hated the way she’d said his name. She never used Stefan,
always Stef in that casual, affectionate manner of hers. “I’m sure you do, love.”
“But sending me to Paris is entirely about you.”
“You’re going to have to give me a bit of explanation. I think your
logic is faulty.” He wanted her to shout. If she would just shout, he
could let out his pent-up emotion. She just stood there looking at him with what he was beginning to believe might be pity.
“I can’t quite figure it out, to tell you the truth. I only know it isn’t your great and deep love for me that has you shipping me out. It’s
about fear, or it’s a test. Maybe both. You think that if I go off on some grand adventure I’ll come back and I’ll suddenly be mature
enough for you to consider settling down with. But I think you’re