Page 7 of Smooth Call

The alarm clock went off at 6:30 am and Gloria reached over and silenced it. She put her hand on Rick’s arm and leaned down close to his ear. “Are you awake?”

  “In a manner of speaking,” Rick croaked as he rolled onto his back.

  “I’ll make some coffee,” Gloria said. She got out of bed and walked naked to the door. From a hook on the door she took a robe and threw it on. It was white terrycloth and short, Rick noticed, barely covering her bottom. She opened the door and looked at him over her shoulder. Then she licked the ball of her thumb and pressed it on her rump.

  “Tsssss,” she said.

  Rick laughed. “You did that as well as Madeline Kahn in ‘Young Frankenstein’.”

  “Thanks, I’ve been practicing, but I must say that your portrayal of…”

  “Wait, don’t go there! I wasn’t doing a portrayal of Peter Boyle portraying Frankenstein’s monster, if that’s what you were going to say. I was just lying here, reacting to you.”

  “You’ve got acting talent Rick, don’t try to hide it,” said Gloria as she flitted out of the room.

  Rick smiled and admitted to himself that he’d enjoyed the early morning comedy. He rolled out of bed and stepped into the living room. As Fran promised his charcoal grey suit lay over the back of the couch, with a white shirt and red tie. His black shoes rested on the floor. He put on the slacks and then the shirt, socks, shoes and a red tie, making sure the tip of the tie covered his belt buckle. Rick rarely tried to make a fashion statement but he believed that short ties that didn’t cover your stomach might have been alright in the first half of the 20th century but not since.

  He put on his coat, walked into the kitchen and said, “How do I look?”

  Fran, who was seated at the kitchen table, looked up from her breakfast and said, “Yeah baby. You look good – like I like my lawyers to look.”

  “Here’s your coffee,” Gloria said as she pushed it across the table. “You look believable, professional, and ready to rumble. You won’t have any trouble convincing him.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence. Are you going with me, Fran?”

  “I’ll drive you and Gloria will follow in her car so you’ll have a ride home.”

  “Oh right,” said Rick. “I’m glad you guys are in charge, I didn’t even think of that.”

  “You’re in charge of the important part,” said Fran, “and we have the utmost confidence in you.”

  They finished their coffee and Fran and Rick went out to her car.

  “What time is it? asked Rick.

  Fran said, “Add two minutes to what I just told you. Don’t worry, I drive this every morning, we have plenty of time.”

  Rick got in the car and Fran pulled into the street. “How do we know where he’s going to park?”

  “He parks in reserve parking, near the main door. The tricky part is to get to him before he runs into the building. There will be a lot of empty reserved parking spots so I’ll park in one of those. When his car comes in, you get out and go for him.”

  “Alrighty.”

  Ten minutes later Fran pulled into the parking lot and drove past Finches spot. “Good, he’s not here yet.” She drove two rows over and parked in a spot between the main door to the hospital and Finch’s usual spot.

  “Aren’t you afraid he’ll recognize you?”

  “Not at all,” said Fran as she reached into the backseat and came out with wide brim felt hat. “Can you hold this?”

  Rick took the hat while Fran gathered her thick blonde hair and pulled it to up in a ponytail, which she then piled up on her head. She took the hat from Rick and put it on, making sure that the brim was pulled down over her eyes.

  “That should do the job,” said Rick.

  Fran heard the sound of a sports car as it downshifted and entered the parking lot. “That’s him,” she said, “in the silver BMW.”

  Rick got out of the car and walked toward the spot where Finch was backing in. Finch parked, exited the car and locked it with a click of his key. When he turned to go Rick was ready for him.

  “Dr. Randolph Finch?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m representing Ms. Frances Swenson and possibly some other women that work at the hospital. You’re being named as a defendant in a sexual harassment suit, a defamation of character suit, and a libel suit.”

  “I don’t have to listen to this,” said Finch as he blew past Rick.

  “No you don’t, and I don’t have to say it. I’m just here at Ms. Swenson’s request. I wanted to blindside you.”

  Finch stopped walking and came back. “What do you mean you’re representing Fran Swenson and possibly some others?”

  “Women often don’t like to be involved in this type of case because the opposing lawyer tries to put them in a bad light. They try to paint a picture of a woman who is promiscuous, who throws herself at men in general and their client in particular. Their client is portrayed as a church going family man who couches little league and has never strayed once until he was vamped by the vamp. Of course he has to sit through a cross examination which often unearths things he never thought would see the light of day. It’s amazing what private investigators, especially those that are computer savvy, can come up with these days.”

  Rick tilted his head, a quizzical look on his face. “Are you getting the picture?”

  “Go on,” said Finch, his voice flat and toneless.

  “Anyway women don’t like to get involved but once one does others follow and that makes their case much stronger. A jury might think one woman is making up stories because she’s mad at a guy but two, three, four or five woman? No. I’ve never seen it happen once. I’ve almost got one more signed up and when I get her I have two more who are a sure thing. Four articulate, professional women airing your dirty laundry before a jury - I don’t like to gloat doctor, but you don’t have a chance.

  “I know you are married. Sadly most marriages don’t survive this sort of thing. Often it’s in the paper, the wife’s friends read about it, the kids get ribbed about it at school. It’s sad but that’s the reality of it.”

  Finch seemed to sink further with everything Rick said but finally his eyes brightened. “How is Ms. Swenson going to pay for all this legal work?”

  “If we win, which I strongly believe we will, you’ll pay her legal bills and a quite a bit more in damages. If we lose I won’t charge her anything. Let’s just say I have a personal interest in the case.”

  When Rick slid into the seat next to Fran she said, “Why did you walk all over the parking lot before getting in?”

  “I didn’t want Finch to see me get into the car of the mysterious hat woman.”

  “Oh, smart. How did it go?”

  “It went pretty well. I think he’ll try and talk to you soon, try to convince you to forget about all the suits. Tell him you’ll think about it but you’ll want to you talk to your lawyer first. He’ll want you to decide immediately but don’t give in. Tell him you’ll let him know in a couple of days. We need to keep the heat on for awhile to give him time to think of all the damage a sexual harassment suit will bring him. By the time you let him off he needs to realize you’ve saved his marriage, his job, everything he has down to his driver’s license. You’ve saved him from a life of shame and depravity and you are the greatest benefactor he will ever have.”

  “You’re good, you know that Rick? Did they teach you this stuff in law school?”

  “Some of it, the rest I thought up. I’m blessed with a devious mind. By the way, as far as Finch is concerned I’m your fiancé.”

  “What? Why would he think that unless you told him?”

  “I had to come up with something. He asked me how you could afford to pay the legal fees. I explained that if we won he would have to pay. If we lost you wouldn’t have to pay because I was doing the work pro bono since you’re my fiancé.”

  “Couldn’t you have just said I was your girl friend?”


  “Are you saying I wouldn’t make a good fiancé? Yes, I could have said you were my girl friend but ‘girl friend’ doesn’t pack the same wallop. I could have said you were my wife but Finch, and everyone else you work with, would know it’s not true.

  “If you’re engaged however, you have it all. You have commitment, you have love – fiancés are always in love – and you have security since you can’t track an engagement like you can a marriage. So we’ll be engaged for a couple of months and then we’ll break it off – irreconcilable difference. We don’t have to tell anybody and since I’m seeing your roommate I won’t try to get any action before the wedding. I’ll be the perfect fiancé!”

  “Okay,” said Fran. She held up her right hand and spread her fingers. “Where’s my ring?”

  Fran moved the car to another parking space and cut the engine.

  “Remember, “said Rick, “If he talks to you don’t give him anything, tell him you’ll get back to him. If you start feeling sorry for him, or make it too easy on him, you could blow the whole thing and end up before some hospital ethics board that will fire you. We’re not going to take him to court and ruin his marriage and career, we just have to make him think we are.”

  “Okay, I got it. I’ll let you know if Finch talks to me. Oh, Gloria called me when you were talking to Finch. She parked in the second row, right down by the street.”

  “I’m off then.”

  “Thanks for helping me Rick, I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

  “You’re welcome, but don’t talk about it okay? I don’t want a judge to put me on a road gang like George Clooney in ‘O Brother Where Art Thou?’.”

  “Is that why he was on a road gang?”

  “Yeah, he says so right in the movie. He was practicing law without a license. Of course it’s only a movie and they probably don’t even have road gangs anymore but wherever they put you in California has got to be worse.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t talk about it.”

  “Thanks. Oh, I didn’t give Finch my name so if you can find a way to keep it that way, it would be good.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Okay my honey bunny fiancé, see you when we get back.”

  “Until that time, fiancé of my dreams, until that time. Have fun in Las Vegas.”

  Rick filled Gloria in on the way back to her house. She laughed about Fran being his fiancé. “That was a good idea,” she said.

  “Thank God it came to me or he might have caught on to us.”

  At Gloria’s house Rick got out of his suit and into some shorts and a T-shirt. He found his bag, still packed except for a few things he’d used the night before. Gloria was a fast packer and was ready to go in ten minutes. She went out back and checked that the lock on the yard gate was secure and that Rocky had what she needed. Then she let Rocky out of her dog house so she could patrol the yard. That done she went back in and locked up the house then joined Rick in the tow truck.

  “Alright,” said Rick, “here we go. A quick stop in Escondido to pick up the classic and then it’s ‘viva Las Vegas.’ After a five hour drive and a stop to unload the car.”

  The ride up to Escondido in light traffic took 35 minutes. When they were about half way there Rick gave Gloria a phone number and asked her to call and let them know they’d be there soon.

  Gloria dialed and on the fifth ring a woman answered.

  “Hello, I’m calling for Rick Mills of Ed’s Towing to let you know that we should be there in twenty minutes.”

  “Alright, it’s out on the street, ready to go.”

  Gloria hung up and said, “They’re all set.”

  “Good, we’ll get it up on the truck and be out on the road way ahead of the traffic.”

  “That’s always good.”

  The house was just a few blocks south of Grand where Rick had walked around looking at the classic cars on the night of his dinner with Gloria. The car, a 1957 red and white Chevy two door, was parked in the street in front a house on a corner lot. Rick pulled in front of the car and backed into position. He set the brake, got out of the truck and was greeted by a thin man with a full head of gray hair and a short beard. Gloria slid out of the truck and walked over next to Rick.

  “I’m Bill O’Hara,” said the man, “didn’t I talk to you last Friday on Grand?”

  “Yes, I remember. I’m Rick Mills and this is my friend Gloria Hesselgrave.”

  “Nice to meet you both,” said O’Hara. He turned and laid his hand on the Chevy’s hood and said, “This is the car that’s going to Vegas.”

  “It’s a nice car,” said Gloria.

  “Very nice,” said Rick. “If you don’t mind my asking, why are you letting it go?”

  “A few reasons. The guy in Las Vegas is a friend of mine and he offered a good chunk of change for it, more than it’s worth really. Come over here and I’ll show you the other reason.”

  Gloria and Rick followed Bill O’Hara into his garage and showed them an old Cadillac that looked alright except that it needed paint.

  “I’m going to restore this and there’s not room enough in the garage for both of them.”

  “It must be a fun way to spend your time,” said Gloria.

  “Well, I can’t dance.”

  Gloria laughed. “I haven’t heard that for a long time. My dad used to say that a lot.”

  “I think sayings like that, along with a bunch I can’t even remember any more, are going to go out with guys like me and your dad. Maybe someday they’ll have a museum somewhere where statues have moving mouths that say things like ‘I can’t dance’ and ‘if the shoe fits get another one just like it’ or however that goes.”

  “I’d go to see that,” said Gloria.

  On the way to his front door Bill said, “Have a good drive and a fun time in Las Vegas. Oh, I almost forgot, the title and registration are in the glove box.”

  “Thank you,” Gloria and Rick said in unison.

  Rick got the Chevy up on the truck, drove to Ninth St, and onto the 15 north. Twenty miles later they passed Highway 79, the turn off for the Pechanga Casino. Although the casino is not visible from Highway 79 they both glanced down the road when they passed over it.

  Gloria said, “When we get to Vegas we’ll have to drink a toast to the Pechanga Casino since their jackpot is paying for the trip.”

  “Yeah, sure. Pechanga, uah-rah! We’ll do it right when we get there.”

  “Have you researched any shows?”

  “No, sad to say. How about you?”

  “There’s one called ‘The Peep Show’ staring Holly Madison that looks good. She was one of Hugh Hefner’s live in girl friends at the Playboy Mansion before she started her new gig in Las Vegas.”

  “The Peep Show, eh? That does sound interesting.”

  “Okay, let’s see it.”

  “One thing I did look into is taking a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. I’d really like to do that. They land in the canyon and give you a snack and Champaign. Plus you see other things like the Hover Dam.”

  “I’d vote yes on that.”

  “I figured you would, that’s why I already booked it for the day after tomorrow at 9 am.”

  “You did? How did you know I wasn’t totally adverse to flying in helicopters?”

  “You’re not the type.”

  “What type is that?”

  “I have no idea but I know you’re not it. Am I right?”

  “Once again,” she smiled.

  * * *

  Chapter 7

 
Ken Kelly's Novels