“Sorry for the wait, Hamilton,” Rachel said, handing me my own cup. “We’ve been busy here tonight, but it’s starting to slow down some.”
“That’s . . . good, I guess.”
“You okay? You seem a bit down.”
“I was just . . . ” Going through an existential crisis of some kind. I glanced around again. “ . . . looking for Raiya. We, uh, have to work on our AP Gov assignment together some more.”
“You’re not behind on it, are you, because she’s missed so much class?” Rachel asked.
The assignment was almost done. I’d nearly finished it all.
“Not really, but we do have to present it next week.” I sighed. “It’s the last major project before Thanksgiving break.”
“I see. She’s not here. I’m not actually sure where she is,” Rachel said thoughtfully.
I knew where she was. But I didn’t say anything.
Rachel continued. “But I’m sure she’ll be in class next week. She doesn’t have any more appointments at the hospital.”
“Hospital? What do you mean?”
“She has a heart condition,” Rachel explained. “She’s working with some of the doctors there on it. She’ll be fine.” The worry in Rachel’s eyes made me wonder if she was lying.
“It probably doesn’t help that she’s been out late recently,” Rachel added.
“Why didn’t she tell me?” I demanded. I didn’t need any more surprises.
Rachel looked at me, and suddenly smiled. “You like her, don’t you?”
I huffed and immediately started to deny it. But just before the words fell out of my mouth, I choked.
“I knew it,” Rachel cheered. “I had a feeling you liked her.”
“How?” I asked. “Why?”
“Because you’re always in here, and if you’re not talking to her, you’re usually bored,” she said. “And you love her work, right? You’d asked me about it before.”
“Her work?”
“Yeah,” Rachel said. She nodded to the painting hanging up on the door. “Her paintings.”
The painting. Starry Knight.
I suddenly recalled Raiya helping out the students last year, putting up the set for Romeo and Juliet. Painting the background.
How could I have been so blind? I wondered. Just how?
AVC. Her initials. Her name. With one look at the painting, with newly-opened eyes, everything came together. Along with the one piece I’d been missing for so long.
“Astraiya.”
Her name came out of my mouth, in my voice, from the deepest part of my heart.
I was astounded when the world didn’t stop, when the moon didn’t fall into the sea, and when nothing miraculous appeared or happened at all. Nothing remotely groundbreaking or earthshattering happened as the hole in my heart where her name was imprisoned, where all we had been remained, where all we’d hoped to be resided, was unexpectedly filled.
Suddenly, the two figures I knew—the school girl who loved to argue and the superhero who focused on her duty so intensely—merged into one person, all under the banner of her true name. Someone who loved me.
Rachel’s eyebrows only raised in surprise as she confirmed it. “Yes, that’s her real name. She doesn’t seem to like it that much, though. She never uses it.”
Talk about anticlimactic. Even as it made my heart leap, I felt it falter under the weight of truth.
I picked up my coffee and walked out. I didn’t say goodbye to Rachel, and I didn’t ask for a refill. I don’t even remember making the decision to leave. I just left.
☼
23 ☼
Lost and Found
“Where were you?” Elysian’s claws climbed over my head as I groaned and dug deeper into my covers. “I know Starry Knight told us that you walked Mikey home after a confrontation, but I was still expecting you to be out for the night.”
“Why would you just assume that?” I mumbled into my pillow.
“Because you hate coming home earlier than your parents, for one thing.”
“It’s late enough. I think they were doing something tonight anyway. Some dinner or something of Cheryl’s. And Gwen has Adam.”
As I finished speaking, I heard the front door to the house open and shut, its distinct creak echoing through the hallways and high archways of my home. “See?” I muttered. “That’s probably them now.”
Elysian glared at me. “Aleia and I couldn’t find Orpheus,” he said.
“I told you he was likely a traitor,” I said.
“I know your feelings on the matter,” Elysian said with an impatient sigh. “But there are other possibilities to consider.”
“Like what?”
“Like SWORD, for one.”
“We just let Taygetay escape earlier today,” I said. “I doubt they managed to catch up to Orpheus in the hour we were there fighting with them over her.”
“I’ll concede that’s likely the case,” Elysian said, “but if we don’t find him soon, we could run into even more trouble.”
“We’ll look for him tomorrow,” I promised. “I’ve had a busy night. Why don’t you go out and look for him? Or maybe you can find Dante. He’s only a couple houses down. Maybe he knows where he is, like you said.”
Elysian considered it for a moment, before nodding his dragon head. “I’ll go and talk to Aleia about that,” he said. “She was pretty upset earlier. Starry Knight made her pretty mad.”
“I wonder why,” I said, half-sarcastic, half-sympathetic. “She seems to have a real talent for it. So do you.”
The door to my room opened. “Yes, I’m surprised we don’t get along better myself.”
“What the—?” I jerked myself upright as Starry Knight—Raiya—leaned casually against the entrance to my bedroom.
“What are you doing here?”
“I told you we were going to talk later,” she said with a shrug.
“I didn’t invite you over.”
“I gave you plenty of warning.”
Not enough for me to clean my room.
“So, you know who the kid is then?” Elysian spoke up, interrupting us. His yellow-green eyes gleamed with accusation at me, before turning to her.
“I’ve known for a while now, Elysian,” she replied. “Just like I know you’ve been caught sneaking into Mrs. Smithe’s classroom a time or two. She’s more astute than you take her for.”
“I’ve noticed that, too,” I said. “Does she know about us?”
“She knows about the fallen Stars, if that’s what you’re asking,” Raiya said. “But they’re watching her, so she won’t say anything.”
“They?”
“SWORD, among others.”
“Oh.” I scratched my head while trying to make sure my hair wasn’t outrageously rumpled. “I thought you said they weren’t the enemy.”
“Not when it came to the Sinisters,” she agreed. “But there are many levels and layers to the company, and I’m not sure about a lot of other things they do. I’m not especially fond of them after some of the things they’ve done and said.”
“I can’t believe you’re here.” The sudden change of subject was my fault, but I blamed the following awkward silence on Elysian.
I turned to face him. “Elysian, go away. I want to talk to Starry Knight.”
Elysian looked from her expression to mine. He wrinkled his nose and snorted out a swirl of smoke. “Sure you will,” he muttered. “Just don’t kill each other. I’d hate to have to explain this to your mother.”
“Alright,” I replied, laughing a bit.
The silence resumed as Elysian slithered out of my window.
“I thought it might be easier to try the window,” Raiya admitted. “But the door was pretty easy to open, and I wasn’t sure which room was yours anyway.”
“I’d feel more comfortable if you were in your regular form,” I said. “It’s weird having you here like that.”
“You think it would be less weird if I was in
my regular form?” Raiya asked. She sighed and rolled her eyes, before pressing into the mark on her wrist. “There. You happy?”
“Still awkward,” I admitted.
“Told you.”
“Shut up.” I stood up and tried to be nonchalant as I “cleaned” my room. I pushed a pile of books and papers off my desk chair and offered her a seat. “What else did you want to talk about? I thought we had enough surprises between us for a while.”
“I needed to ask you why you were at the observatory.”
“Going to the observatory was just a coincidence.”
“What were you doing there?” Raiya repeated.
“I could ask you the same question.”
She arched an eyebrow at me. “I was delivering an order for Logan,” she explained. “He works late sometimes, and Rachel wanted to make sure he ate something before she closed up the café.”
“That’s how you knew Logan from before,” I muttered, slumping back onto my bed. “He was going to be Rachel’s brother-in-law. I’d wondered about that.”
“Yes.” Raiya shrugged. “I happen to like him, too. Logan’s pretty smart. Rachel’s right to worry about him some though. He is a classic workaholic.”
“You better be grateful for that,” I said. “Because he gets to watch over the meteorite and everything.”
“I won’t argue with you there.”
“For once.”
Raiya gave me a knowing smile. “Once the Sinisters are all captured, I’ll feel better about making him go home on time.” She glanced up at me. “So, what were you doing there?”
“Me?” I shrugged. “Aleia and Elysian and I were looking for Orpheus.”
“Why were you looking for Orpheus?” Raiya scowled. “He’s not supposed to go there. I specifically told him to stay away.”
“You talked to him?”
“Sure. I know Aleia says she’s keeping him under her observation, but I have more than enough reason to doubt she will do a good job.”
“I know, right? She defends him at every turn.”
“If what she says is true, he can go up and see Time once there is an opportunity.”
I stared at her. “You’re okay with him going up there?” I asked.
“You’re the one who wanted me to live for you, aren’t you?” Raiya frowned. “If that’s what we want to do, then there are some things that need to be taken care of, including a visit to Alora’s Star.”
I didn’t really catch that part. I was too caught up in the other half. “You’re really going to do it? You’re really going to try to live for me?”
“Yes.”
The answer was quick and sharp, but it was all I needed to hear.
“Well, that’s surprising. You’re not going to take it back, are you? This isn’t some part of an elaborate plan to capture the Sinisters or deceive SWORD?”
“I know you haven’t been able to trust me, but I thought with everything out in the open now, we could let that slide.”
“No. We’ll try it out and see what happens.” There was no way she was going to make light out of all of our previous trust issues. “I’m not just going to give you a free pass on lying to me. Especially since I have two versions of you to forgive now.”
“I’m only one person.” She glared at me, icy frost glittering in her violet eyes, suddenly and severely. “You know, you are just terrible sometimes.”
“Well you would know,” I argued. “You’re just as terrible as me.” I shoved myself off the bed and closed the distance between us, ready to remind her of how she’d caused me trouble in all her forms.
She beat me to it. “No, I am worse than you,” Raiya declared, as she prodded angrily into my chest. “But you should know better!”
Laughter involuntarily bubbled up inside of me at the true absurdity of her statement, and it escaped. I was unable to help myself at her expense.
“Oh, shut up,” she growled, starting to push me away.
I couldn’t hold back any longer. “My pleasure.” I grinned, before I grabbed her arm and jerked her close, thrusting my free hand into the soft tresses of her hair. I saw a flicker of shock in her expression as I met her mouth with mine. Her arguments, or what I would assume were her arguments, were muffled as they met with what was left of my laughter.
The taste of her beckoned to me, burning into me. It was as if all my life I’d waited for this . . . this person I never could have guessed or known, and I’d never known just how badly I needed her or yearned for her until this very moment.
It took only seconds for her hands to grasp at my shirt and respond, and I knew at once she had been as desperate to kiss me as I had been to kiss her. I felt her hesitation melt away and her fiery frost transform into molten desire. Her body relaxed into mine as I sought to devour hers.
I much preferred leaving her breathless this way, I thought. It was much more enjoyable than arguing. Before I met her, I never thought I would say that about anyone.
As if she sensed where my last comprehensible thoughts were going, Raiya broke away. “Yes, you are terrible,” she whispered, her voice husky and hurried, before she once more moved her lips against mine feverishly.
I kissed her hard and hot, burning with the taste of her sweetness. “We are well matched then. We are perfectly terrible together.”
She met my gaze, and I could see a flicker of something in those violet eyes. For a moment, I wondered how I ever could have missed how lovely she was before. Then she spoke quietly, softly, betraying a hint of uncertainty, as though unsure of how to process this information. “Why?”
“What? What do you mean, ‘Why?’”
“I want to know why you want to be with me.” Raiya smiled, both mischievous and encouraging at the same time.
“You already know why,” I reminded her. “I told you before, at Rachel’s, when I was talking about you.”
“I still want to hear it.” She smirked. “You promised.”
Just like all our previous arguments, she had a point. But unlike the previous times, I didn’t mind it so much.
“I don't exactly know,” I admitted. “You're irritating, you're unpredictable, you're aggravating and stubborn. But you've looked out for me and fought beside me. And you challenge me. For a long time, no one ever challenged me. You make me think. You make me grow, and you tear me down.”
I studied her face, trying to memorize the slant of her eyes, the arch of her eyebrows, and the shape of her mouth. Everything about her, my eyes drank in. “For the longest time I thought you were hurting me by your remarks, but now I see you were making me stronger. You were tearing me down to build me up the right way. I didn't understand at the time, but now I do. You were risking everything to reach out to me in a way that would make me respond to you.”
I took hold of her hand and smiled. I decided I liked having the power to make Raiya tremble. “How could I not love someone who would go to such measures for me?”
And then I leaned down and kissed her again, this time just softly, innocently enough to intrigue her. “There. How was that?”
“Good,” she admitted, and I chuckled at how breathless she sounded. “But that’s not what you said before.”
“I’m having trouble remembering,” I admitted, moving in to kiss her again.
“You said you could forgive me,” Raiya reminded me as she pulled back.
“I guess I did say that.”
She looked at me expectantly.
“What?” I asked.
“Well, is it still true?” Her eyes were wary and watchful again.
“Yes, it is,” I affirmed.
“Even now?”
“What’s wrong with now?”
“Because it’s me.”
“Of course it’s you,” I said.
She flushed over. Even in the poor lighting of my room, I could see the red shade dull her cheeks. “I mean, it is okay that it’s me? I’m not pretty, or popular, or even anything like anyone else from your world.”
“You are my world,” I told her.
“I know that’s just a line,” she said with a huff.
“Well, yeah, but just because it’s a line doesn’t mean it’s not the truth.” But I was even a bit surprised when she didn’t slap me. I would’ve slapped me, for sounding so cheesy.
It was definitely a moment where clichés just seemed to make sense.
She stiffened underneath my touch. “So you’ll keep forgiving me, even if I wrong you?”
I gripped her shoulders patiently as well as pointedly. “Let’s not rush to test it too quickly,” I replied. “I’ve spent a lot of time recovering from the last blows.”
“Today’s included?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I confessed. “Maybe. But it helps I was starting to like you on my own, too.” When I saw her smile, I added, “It wasn’t just the coffee I was coming for in the mornings, I guess.”
Raiya laughed. Mesmerized by her mouth, I gave up. “Do you have any other questions, or can I kiss you again?” I asked.
“You can kiss me again,” she acquiesced, as she moved in closer to me and pressed against my chest. “But I did promise Rachel I’d be home early, so—”
“Don’t waste time, got it,” I said, kissing her again.
“I was going to say, make sure you watch the time—”
“You watch the time. I’ll make sure we don’t waste it.” Kissing her was proving to be intoxicating. The more I had her, the more I wanted.
As it turned out, we both should have been watching something else.
From the astonishment in her gasp, I could tell Cheryl just about had the shock of her life when she opened the door and saw us.
If there was ever a time in my life I wished I’d had a hidden camera, that moment was it. Having a picture of Cheryl’s face as she came in my room, which she only did about twice a year, and seeing me with my arms wrapped around a girl, would have been hilarious.
Like most hilarious things, though, I only found that funny about a decade later.
“What’s going on? What are you doing here?” Cheryl demanded to know, looking at Raiya as we quickly backed away from each other.