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Copyright © 2014 by Lauren Jackson
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Please don’t be stupid and kill yourself. This book is a work of FICTION.
It is fiction and not to be confused with reality. Neither the author nor the publisher or its associates assume any responsibility for any loss, injury, death or legal consequences resulting from acting on the contents in this book. The author’s opinions are not to be construed as the opinions of the publisher. The material in this book is for entertainment purposes ONLY. Enjoy.
The Best Thing for Me
By: Lauren Jackson
© Lauren Jackson 2014
ISBN: 978-1-68030-025-3
1
When I say I am nobody, I mean it literally. It was as though I was completely invisible. People run into me or just don't acknowledge my presence. Or if they do, they just look down at me. It's pretty basic. I'm quiet; I do my work and try to stay out of trouble. But that doesn't mean that trouble doesn't try to find me.
I saw it flying toward me at high speed, but it was too fast for my mind to gather what was happening. It soared towards me, connecting with my head. I went flying backwards and landed on my butt painfully. I lay, sprawled on the hard gym floor, completely winded.
Laughter erupted around me, causing my cheeks to flood with heat. I just wanted to die from embarrassment. Finally, I think someone realized I was practically dead on the floor and came over. I heard the ascending footsteps come to a halt beside my head. Rotating my head around, I stared up at them, trying to not look as shocked as I felt.
"You all right, Emma?" The teacher asked whilst chewing gum loudly. I was afraid it was going to drop and land on my face.
"I'll live." I replied, smiling weakly.
I slowly scrambled to my feet. Black dots danced across my vision and my head was pounding painfully. Tears pricked my eyes, but I refused to let any shed. I plastered a false smile and continued to just stand there, avoiding everyone and flying balls. My goal: stay out of the way and pretend I don’t exist.
One of those girls, yeah you know the type - the ones who think they know everything and that they’re better than you in every way - snickered at my humiliation. She turned and began babbling to her group of followers, not being subtle at all that the topic of conversation revolved around me. They all glanced my way, laughing.
"Could you be any less obvious?" I snapped.
Realization dawned on me that I'd spoken like that to the 'It' girls and shut my mouth pretty quickly. I scuttled away into the change rooms, murmuring something about a drink, which was an excuse to save myself from getting another ball to the head.
I sank down onto the bench in misery, burying my head into my hands.
What a glorious life I had...
2
I was positioned at the back of the class in the right hand corner, half sunken into my chair. That meant I didn't turn my back on anyone in class, preventing anything being thrown at me. Or anything forcefully shoved into my ears or down the back of my clothes. Yes, I speak from experience.
Normally, I knew the answers the teachers wanted to know, but I rarely offered my hand. That’s just raising awareness of my existence. I was in the smart class though, so that was a plus. Most of the girls weren't capable of being in there, so I could breathe freely for a few hours. Most of the teachers knew the girls who bullied and harassed people, but since their Daddies helped fund the school, they couldn't really do much about it. It was pretty sick when you think about it.
I walked out of class quickly with my head down and making no eye contact. I shoveled my stuff in my bag and hitched it over my shoulder. I quickly walked to the canteen, trying to get there before all the pizza singles were taken.
"Why the rush?" I heard a voice joke. I kept going, automatically assuming that they weren’t speaking to me. I only had one true friend and she didn’t attend this school, so I was used to people not talking to me.
"Wow, can't even to stop and chat." He continued, the humor evident in his voice.
I immediately recognized who he was. He was Jason, from my year. He was one of the most amazing human beings I have ever rested my eyes on. What made him even more irresistibly amazing was that he actually seemed like a genuine person, seeing as he was in the popular group and all. His friends seemed to act a particular way to maintain a reputation. They were successful.
"Emma?" He asked.
I froze. He was addressing me? He knew my name? Slowly pivoting, I turned to face him. I was unsure of whether to look him in the eye so I glanced up at him before dropping my gaze.
"Oh... are you talking to me?"
"Yes," he laughed, as if this was no big deal. My eyes widened in surprise and I looked around, seeing if there were any witnesses. "Unless that's a problem?"
"No, no problem," I said, a stupid grinning forming on my face as it always does when I interact with someone that’s not my family. "I'm just surprised you know who I am."
I motioned that I was going to keep walking and he fell in step with me.
"You can move fast when you want to," he grinned, keeping up with me which was good.
"Yeah, well, those pizzas sell out pretty quickly..." I trailed off in embarrassment. He just laughed again which made a smile automatically appear on my face. The sound of it made me want to melt. I was extremely surprised he'd risk harassment by speaking to me. The girls at this school were pretty brutal, if you haven’t realised.
"Aren't your friends going to be upset with you?" I asked, standing in line. I scanned my eyes through the hot box. Yes, still two available. I considered doing a fist pump but thought better of it. "With, you know, speaking to an outsider?"
"I don't care," he shrugged. "They don't control me."
I just stared into the beautiful blue eyes, dazed. I blinked for a few seconds, not having heard him properly because I was too busy staring. Ducking my head and averting my gaze, I pretended to have heard what he said, hopefully it wasn’t a question.
"Oh. Okay."
I wanted to ask why he was speaking to me in the first place, but that would sound rude. I just gave him a small smile before turning to the front. I bought my pizza and some juice along with it, pretty keen to d
evour this bad boy.
"See you later, Emma." Jason called as I walked away. I turned in surprise and gave a wave.
Yeah, I really waved. How lame.
Walking in silence, I maneuvered towards my group slowly. The people I associate with during school hours are people, like me, who stayed under the radar. I got along with them fairly well, but wasn't really good friends with any of them. My best friend went to another school. She was one of those blonde, blue eyed girls who everyone wanted to be, including myself.
She had been my best friend all my life, so I guess even when we go to different schools and she's Queen Bee and I'm just, me, she still is by my side. I just wish with all my heart, she could be here with me. She got invited to some of the parties that people at our school held. Not that I was invited, though. Being invisible allows you to hear things. I guess that's a positive, sometimes. Sometimes I found out things I didn't want to know.
Hence, what was going to happen later today. I better fill you in.
"You know what? I'm going to get with Jack, at Ben's party this weekend." A voice said, filtering through half-open.
I paused momentarily, a part of me wanting to hear what was going on.
"But he's with Layla?" Another voice asked. I realised who they were instantly. Two of the six 'It' girls, Jamie and Rose.
"Yeah, I know. But she's been so annoying lately, bragging about them in the bedroom. I think it's time we test the competition. Show Jack what he's missing out on." Jamie snickered and I could only imagine the sadistic smirk that is always planted on her face. She had an impeccable gift of making you feel incredibly insecure and unsure about yourself with just a glance.
"Well..." Rose began, sounding a little uncertain herself. Maybe I am not the only one who feels this way around her. "I don't agree that's a good idea, J."
"I don't really care what you think," she retorted without hesitation. I don’t doubt for a second that she did.
What a great friend, I thought bitterly.
"Fine, but don't drag me into it."
I heard footsteps ascending towards me. I attempted to scurry away but just didn't have time. I suppose it was karma for eavesdropping. I turned away and inserted my hands into my bag, my body reacting before my mind. Where was my iPod when I needed it? If I stuck headphones in, maybe it would look like I didn’t hear anything…
"You." Jamie growled. I slowly turned around out of reaction, when I really should have pretended to not have heard her.
"Oh, hi Jamie." I said, acting as though I hadn't known they were there. I turned back to my bag, trying to not show them anything on my face, so I ducked, my hair shielding me. It was thankful for its length, it provided me cover when I needed it.
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Yeah," I said, turning around again. "You said ‘you’."
She rolled her eyes at my remark.
"Alright.” Her voice was soft and I actually thought she was just going to brush this off and forget it happened. Of course not. I should have known better, having seen Jamie in action many times before. “But just in case you did."
She strode up to me before I had any time to gather my thoughts, grabbed my pony tail and threw my head into the lockers. I cried out as pain exploded in my head. I staggered backwards, my head in my hands. I think my lip was split, because I felt a trickle of blood down my chin. I was so shocked. My body felt as though it was locked up and I couldn’t move.
"Jamie!" Rose gasped, raising her hand to her mouth in horror.
"Don't spill a word," she snapped, sneering in my face, pushing me one more time to emphasise her point. She grabbed Rose's hand and made a run for it. I couldn't help let tears slide down my cheeks pathetically. I buried my hand in my hands in pain. I sat there for a while, trying to get over what just happened. I sat there for what felt like a good half an hour, before slowly walking home, feeling dejected.
3
I was most comfortable at home. I didn't have to hide, or not speak my real thoughts. (Not that I did all that much talking at school anyway). I could just be myself. I live in a small place up on the peak of a hill, with my Dad and brother. We were a pretty close-nit kind of family, which was nice.
My Dad was a tall man who was a builder. He had rough hands, like sand paper and brown skin from spending too long outdoors. We currently didn't have a car, as he had a slight disagreement with a tree (or so he put it). He was rebuilding the engine, so I was forced to walk up and down our hill twice a day going to and from school. I didn't mind the walk most days, but I hated it when the rain poured down rain, causing my books to become soaked. It tended to rain quite frequently here, so it was a common occurrence.
My brother was so laid back that my father usually joked if he was any more laid back he'd be in a coma. He was 18 and finished school, but still lived with us which we were all fine with. He didn't really have a name for his job. He delivered cigarettes, (I hate them), to different places and companies. He was given a car and didn't have to pay for the petrol he needed. It was a pretty sweet deal actually, one I would almost be interested in if I could stand the fact that I was delivering cigarettes. The rest of the time, he just laid on the lounge, glued to either his Xbox or PSP. I know what you’re thinking; he leads a dangerous and thrilling life.
I walked into the house, making a beeline for my room as per usual. I shrugged my bag off, removed my jewelry and changed into loose clothing. I threw my hair into a messy bun and emerged feeling suddenly more human. Taking one step inside my home made me feel insanely more comfortable.
"Hey Luke," I greeted. He just raised his hand and I bumped knuckles with him as I fell back onto the vacant part of the lounge. This was our usual hello.
"Where's Dad?" He jerked his thumb behind him in a vague direction of the garage. I made my way out there. We also didn’t communicate with the use of words much. Grunts and hand gestures were our most common way of telling each other things.
"Oh, hello!" Dad grinned, emerging around from his desk. "Is it that time already?"
"Yes," I laughed. I went and hugged him, the smell of oil and grease hitting my nose instantly. "What are you working on?"
"Just the engine still. It still needs a lot of work. What happened to your lip?"
"Oh, nothing." I said with a casual shrug, jerking my chin away from his fingers. "Need help?"
He frowned but didn't say anything more about it, which I was thankful for. We stayed fixing it for another hour before we retired into the pool. I dived and paddled, splashing Luke in the process. He just sat there on the step with a beer, dazing at the water. Half the time, he looked like he was stoned, but really, that was just him. He blinked, looked at me, and then spaced out again. I didn’t really think anything of it as I was so used to it.
I loved swimming. I used to do it competitively, but I just did it for fun now. I was over-whelmed with the feeling of home. It was just so good, being myself. I submerged myself under the water, loving the feeling it had on my skin. As I came up for air, I heard Dad’s voice.
"Hey Melanie," he called, removing himself from the pool. "I'll go put dinner on. Are you staying, Mel?"
"If you'll have me!" She grinned cheerfully, already knowing that Dad probably already bought extra knowing that she would come by.
"Of course."
She shed her clothes and had her new swimmers on underneath. I stared at them in envy for a few moments, thinking back to the last time I purchased a new bathing suit. I couldn’t remember. She slithered into the pool, running her fingers over Luke’s chest.
"Hi, Luke." she purred.
He came out of his trance immediately, as usual whenever Mel is in his vicinity. "Hello, Mel."
They'd had a thing a few times over the years. It used to bother me, but now not so much. They made each other happy, and Luke was so out of it all the time he didn't normally have many girlfriends, even though he is quite attractive.
"Oh and hey Emma," I said, laughing, feeling the need
to include myself.
She rolled her eyes, a small smirk on her lips. "I was getting to you."
"Sure you were." I paddled over and wrapped my arms around her neck.
"What happened to your lip?" she asked, pulling away from me. Rather viciously, she grabbed my face and began inspecting it.
Darting my eyes down, I murmured, "Nothing."
She slapped her hands onto my cheek and forced me to look at her. She examined it more closely, our nosed almost touching. "Who did it?"
"I fell-" I began to lie but she cut me off, knowing me too well.
"Cut the crap, Emma. Who did it?"
I sighed, my shoulders sagging. There was no point arguing with her, I would lose anyway.
"Jamie Keating."
"That cow." She snarled, her eyes narrowing into slits. She looked over at Luke, widening her eyes and tossing her hair over her shoulders. I stared after her, wondering what she was up to. "Hey Luke, can you go scare someone for us?"
"No, no, no!" I quickly said, shaking my head. "Don't do that!"
He looked over, looking a little confused. "What?"
Mel inched towards him, sliding her arms around his naked torso. She pecked him on the lips and I looked away, feeling as though I was intruding on a moment. He sat there, dazed. He placed his beer down and wrapped his own arms around her.
"Um, sister and best friend in the pool." I raised my hand to emphasise my point. Mel laughed, throwing her head back.
"Lukey..." She began, as if I hadn’t said anything. "Can you do something for me?"
"Sure," he said without the spaced hesitation he usually had.
"Can you go scare Jamie Keating?"
I shook my head furiously behind her, waving my hands to get his attention. His eyes remained on her though, like always.