“Your grandmother was a wise woman. It does, indeed, symbolize new beginnings. There is also another aspect to the dark moon, just as in life good is balanced by evil. The dark moon is a time when the mystical veil between our world and the Otherworld, that world of gods and goddesses, is thinnest. Great magic can be worked during the dark moon—for good or for evil.”
Morrigan felt a shiver begin at the base of her spine. “Evil?” Her voice sounded weak and strange.
Birkita took her hand. “You have nothing to fear. You have been Chosen by Adsagsona and not by another dark power.”
“But how do you know for sure?” The wine buzz was gone, leaving Morrigan feeling slightly sick to her stomach and headachy.
“We spoke of this before. You are a Light Bringer. They do not traffic with evil. You must banish doubts from your mind, Morrigan. Perhaps it would help you to know that Adsagsona is an unusual goddess. She exists in the Underworld, deep in the womb of the earth. She is comfortable with darkness, as are her High Priestesses. Tell me, child, have you ever feared the darkness?”
The answer was simple. “No. I’ve never been afraid of the dark. I actually like it. My grandparents used to tell me if I didn’t turn on a light when I got up at night to use the bathroom that I’d stub a toe or something, but I never did. I—I’ve worried that my being comfortable with the darkness is a bad thing,” she added.
“No, child. It was an early sign of Adsagsona’s favor. I, too, have always been easy with the darkness. Our goddess is a loving, nurturing mother to the Sidetha. She marks her priestesses young and cherishes them for all their lives. But you must remember that though Adsagsona prefers the dark, she also cherishes the light, which is why she created her Light Bringers with the gift to call forth light from crystals deep within the earth. Evil that lurks in the darkness shuns the light. Your light can sear that evil should it ever try to touch you.”
“Did evil ever try to mess with you?”
“No, child. I never found anything in the darkness but Adsagsona’s love.”
“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better,” Morrigan said.
“Banish your doubts, High Priestess. Your goddess is good. She has gifted you with great power. Do not allow inexperience and youth to make you falter in her service!”
“Okay, I’ll do my best,” Morrigan said quickly, automatically responding to Birkita’s sharp tone.
Birkita sighed, and suddenly looked very tired. “I did not mean to be harsh with you. It is just that I believe you are allowing insecurities from your old world to plague you here. Morrigan, you did not belong to that world, those people. This is the world in which you belong, and we are your people, just as Adsagsona is your goddess. All will be well here, Light Bringer.”
“You’re right, Birkita.” Morrigan wished she felt as sure as she sounded. “All will be well now that I’m here.”
Birkita smiled. “Now we should hurry. The people will be waiting for us.” Her smiled widened. “You, actually.”
“That’s not helping my nerves.”
“It is a good thing!” She laughed and gestured for Morrigan to follow her from the chamber as she continued to explain. “We will enter the Usgaran. The people will have made a large circle around the crystal stone. You will stand before it and invoke the Goddess’s presence.”
“How do I do that?”
“You did it earlier today when you blessed the alabaster sap.”
Morrigan nodded. “Okay, I can do that. Then what?”
“Then you simply thank Adsagsona for the blessings she provided during the past phase of the moon. When your blessing is finished, say, ‘Hail, Adsagsona,’ and the people will echo you. Then everyone will depart, leaving you alone in the Usgaran. The last part of the ritual is personal. It is between the Goddess and her High Priestess only.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“It has long been my favorite part of the ritual,” Birkita said warmly. “There will be wine for libation in a goblet near the crystal boulder. Take it and pour it around the boulder. Then you must extinguish each of the sap flames. You must also extinguish the light you call forth from the crystals. In the womb of darkness that is Adsagsona’s Realm beseech the Goddess’s blessing during the coming phases of the moon—from now until the next dark moon—for the Sidetha. Thank the Goddess, relight the flames and join the other priestesses in the Great Chamber to break your fast.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Morrigan said. They’d come to the entrance to the Usgaran and they paused inside the shadowy archway. The room was packed with people. Their murmuring voices reminded Morrigan of the rustling of fall leaves in a windstorm. She took a deep breath and rested her fingertips lightly on the cave wall. “Light the stone up for me, please,” she whispered. She gave Birkita a tight smile and said, “Time to do this thing.” As the selenite boulder blazed, Morrigan stepped into the room.
“Luck and the Goddess be with you, child,” Birkita called after her as the older woman melted back into the shadows. No one noticed her, and no one noticed she was crying softly.
CHAPTER 7
The talking stopped as soon as the boulder lit up. Every eye turned to bore into Morrigan as she strode forward. She felt like a tightly wound rubber band and was afraid she might break something inside herself until she heard a familiar padding sound and felt Brina’s soft fur brush the side of her leg as the big cat joined her, perfectly matching her pace. When they came to the selenite boulder, Brina moved a little way off to the side, tail twitching restlessly, narrow eyes studying the large crowd.
Morrigan waited a moment, collecting her thoughts and staring into the depths of the brilliantly sparkling crystal. Then, acting on a gut impulse, Morrigan turned from the stone to face the group who circled it and her. In one quick movement she yanked open the laces that held the leather cape demurely in place around her shoulders and pulled the thing over her head. As she threw it away from her, Brina snarled a war cry that caused the flesh to rise on Morrigan’s bare skin.
Yes! The word blasted through her mind, chasing away her nervous embarrassment. She saw more than heard the shocked gasps of the people, and barely spared Shayla’s tight, disapproving face a glance, before she proudly tossed back her hair and lifted her arms over her head. Using her diaphragm to project her voice, the Sidetha’s new High Priestess invoked her goddess’s presence.
“Adsagsona, I call upon you, above!” Morrigan moved her hands from over her head down, to form an open-palmed reverse V. “And below.” Staying in that position she lifted her chin and let her strong, young voice ring from the walls of her beloved cave. “Goddess, I ask that you be with me on this night that is so special to you—the night of the dark moon. I ask it as your new High Priestess, and with the asking I promise you that I swear I will do my best to do your will and make you proud of me.” Morrigan closed her eyes in concentration. Please don’t disappoint me. Please don’t leave me hanging here all by myself. Aloud she said, “Come to us, Adsagsona, and let your people thank you for the blessings you have given them over the past month of moon phases!” Morrigan threw her hands up again and hoped for the best.
“Welcome, Light Bringer, in whom I am well pleased!”
Morrigan’s eyes sprang open at the sound of the voice that shimmered with visible power through the air around her. All she saw was light. All she felt was an immense wash of power and warmth. She looked down at herself and could hardly believe it. Her body was on fire! No—not fire. It looked like the Goddess had turned on a switch inside her and, just like the crystals who answered her call for light so willingly, her soul had answered with a visible burning light. It was awesome! Morrigan threw back her head and laughed with pure, uninhibited joy—a sound that was echoed by each priestess of the Sidetha. Many of the watching crowd fell to their knees, weeping with joy as they thanked Adsagsona.
In decades to follow, the Sidetha composed poetry and sang ballads about how their High Priestess the Light Bringe
r had looked during that very first ritual, and about the events that followed her miraculous appearance to the Sidetha. Generation after generation would speak of her…sing of her…remember her. That night strong magic was born in the form of a young, inexperienced woman. Of Morrigan one bard sang:
Spirit made of shining beauty and grace The Goddess’s Chosen, Morrigan came Light licked her skin, her hair and her bright face Sidetha’s souls would never be the same. Breasts robed only in power she stood proud No humble old woman and no young fool Fear, greed, denial, guilt—no longer allowed For the Goddess had found her heart’s true tool. Many present wondered; many there feared This shining star’s price too rich to be paid Gaze at a Goddess and you may be seared Warriors, queens, noblemen—low have been laid. In Morrigan we glimpsed our souls’ delight But could the moth survive her own bright light?
Oblivious to the awestruck crowd and unknowing that she had just birthed a legend, Morrigan spread wide her hands and spoke from her heart to her goddess.
“Adsagsona, I know that I’m supposed to thank you for how rich you have made the Sidetha, but I’m a new High Priestess so this is going to be a new kind of blessing.” She paused, focusing her eyes on the crowd until she could pick out individuals, then she spoke to each person she named. “I want to thank you for Donnetha’s ability to make beautiful jewelry.” The middle-aged woman’s eyes widened when her name was called, then she blushed happily and bowed her head. Morrigan found another woman she recognized from her day listening in the Usgaran. “I want to thank you for Gladys’s ability to carve life from marble.” She smiled at the attractive sculptress’s blank look of surprise, and continued calling out those she’d watched create beauty that day: “I want to thank you for Ahearn’s ability to tool leather. I want to thank you for Kathleen’s ability to paint lovely pictures. I want to thank you for Evelyn’s ability to embroider. I want to thank you for the kindness of Deidre and Raelin and how they helped me this afternoon.” Then Morrigan found the face that was most dear to her of all the Sidetha. She smiled warmly and said, “And, most of all, I want to thank you for and ask a special blessing on your High Priestess Birkita, who loves you and loves me with true selflessness.” Morrigan pointed her hands down in the upside-down V that already felt so natural and so right, and finished the blessing. “Goddess, as your new High Priestess I want to thank you for the gifts you’ve given the Sidetha in the form of their talents, instead of the riches your gifts have gained. Hail, Adsagsona!”
There was only a slight pause, and then, led by the glad voices of priestesses, the people responded with the cry “Hail, Adsagsona!”
Morrigan stood there, skin glowing, breasts proudly bared, palms open and fingers pointed downward, trying to catch her breath as the completely hushed crowd filed out of the Usgaran. Her body felt as if she had just run a series of sprints, but instead of wearing her out it had invigorated her. She was sure she could climb a mountain—five mountains! The Goddess had spoken to her! Had she recognized her voice? Morrigan couldn’t be sure. Aloud it had sounded so different—powerful yet kind. Well, maybe now that she had heard Adsagsona’s voice, the next time there was a voice in her head or in the wind around her, she would be able to recognize it.
Morrigan gazed down at her body again. Her skin was flushed and still glowing with an unearthly light. She glistened with a mixture of anointing oil and a light film of sweat. And she had to admit that her breasts looked great, all shiny and bare and perky. Let that damn Shayla try and tell her that she should cover herself. The hag could go straight to hell, or wherever that would be in Partholon. It wasn’t her destiny to tiptoe around some power-hungry queen wannabe. It was her destiny to be High Priestess and Light Bringer, and she would fulfill her destiny!
When she finally looked up, Morrigan was surprised to find that, except for Brina, the huge room was empty. “Okay, okay—time to settle and do what comes next,” she told the cat. What was it that Birkita had told her? She thought back to the conversation that seemed to be forever ago—seemed to have happened to a totally different girl than the shining, goddess-touched woman she was now. Birkita had said that she was supposed to pour the wine around the boulder as libation for the Goddess, and then the last part of the ritual was supposed to be performed alone and in the dark.
As in Oklahoma, the selenite boulder wasn’t situated in the center of the room. It rested very close to the northernmost wall. Morrigan looked at the ledge that was behind it and saw that a large goblet stood there. She lifted it, admiring its delicate design. The goblet had been carved out of a solid piece of rose-colored quartz. The red wine that filled it looked like it had made the stone blush. Hoping she was doing it right, Morrigan made her way around the boulder, carefully pouring the wine in a neat circle. It perfumed the air with the scent of grapes and spices, making her head feel nicely dizzy—kinda like she’d gulped a glass of it down herself.
Then with feet that hardly touched the ground, Morrigan went to the closest of the more than dozen open braziers that were situated around the circumference of the room, and was relieved to see a large, bowl-like thing that looked like a giant candle snuffer tucked neatly behind it. Working quickly, she put out each of the flames before returning to stand in front of the glowing selenite boulder.
Morrigan’s fingers caressed the skin of the rock. “You’re so beautiful, especially now that yours is the only light in here.” She glanced at the skin of her hand and arm that was still shining with an amazing internal light. She laughed, “Well, except for me you’re the only light in here.”
We hear you, Light Bringer, Chosen of the Goddess.
The words passed through her fingers, warming and thrilling her. “Thank you. Thank you so much. But now I need you to turn off for a little while so I can finish the ritual.”
It shall be as you request, Light Bringer!
Immediately the faceted white light that blazed from each of the thousands of selenite crystals in the room extinguished and Morrigan was plunged into absolute darkness. Her skin didn’t even glow. Morrigan blinked hard several times, trying to acclimate herself to such complete and utter blackness. For a moment she felt a tiny needle of panic. Not because it was so dark, but because it suddenly reminded her of the suffocating trip through the boulder as she moved from one world to another.
Then she felt the soft warmth of Brina’s fur rub against the side of her leg and the familiar “huh huh” sound the big cat often made. She wasn’t alone and she wasn’t suffocating. Brina was here. The Goddess was here. Forcing herself to take several long, slow breaths, Morrigan regained her composure. Then, once again, she lifted her arms. “Adsagsona, I call on thee above!” She moved her arms down so that her fingers pointed down, as if she was gesturing to the bowels of the cave. “And below.” Holding herself in that position, she bowed her head and spoke. “It’s just us now, so I don’t have to pretend to know what I’m doing. I—I hope it’s okay that I just talk to you like you’re a normal person, even though I don’t mean any disrespect, because I know you’re not just some normal woman.” Morrigan paused and bit her lip, wishing she didn’t sound so young and stupid.
You may continue, Light Bringer.
Morrigan squelched the squeaky sound of surprise that slipped from between her lips. The Goddess’s voice wasn’t as powerful as it had been before, and it drifted in the darkness around her, almost tangible.
“I want to ask your blessing on the Sidetha during the coming phases of the moon.”
All of the Sidetha? the disembodied voice said from the black.
“Actually, that’s something I’d like to mention. I don’t like how Birkita was being treated. Some things, okay, some people around here feel wrong to me. So I guess more specifically I’d like to ask your blessing on those who don’t feel wrong.” Morrigan chewed her lip again, unsure of what else to say.
Should the Chosen of a Goddess not pray for all of her people?
Morrigan frowned. “Probably, but I haven’t been
a High Priestess very long, and as I’m sure you know, I’m not even from this world. So there’s a good chance that I might be messing all of this up.”
The Goddess’s laughter caused little sparks of light to glitter in the darkness. Follow your instincts, child. They will not fail you.
For a second, the Goddess sounded so human, so close to her, that Morrigan almost asked her about the different voices she’d heard all her life. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words just wouldn’t come. Did she have to taint this amazing experience with doubts from her past? Like Birkita said—that was a different world. She should leave all that crap back there. So instead she said, “Thank you, Goddess. I’ll try to listen to my instincts.”
Then know that you have my blessing, Morrigan MacCallan, Light Bringer. Through you the people shall be blessed and your light will illuminate the darkness…
Morrigan felt a breath of wind from the darkness. It wrapped around her body, lifting her hair and gently caressing her skin, almost like a mother’s embrace. She trembled from the beauty of it and whispered through tears, “Hail, Adsagsona!”
As the Goddess’s presence left the chamber, every brazier lit with a sound like waves pounding on a darkened shore. Morrigan lifted her head, wiped her eyes and hugged herself with happiness.
She belonged to a goddess!
CHAPTER 8
Morrigan almost didn’t think about putting her top back on before she left the Usgaran. Almost. Thankfully the jiggling and, well, bareness of everything reminded her that she was half-naked. Now that the ritual was over and the Goddess’s presence gone, walking around partially naked didn’t seem like such a good idea. Though she did admit to herself, as she laced up the ties, that hurling off her top had been a very 1960s, girl-power thing for her to do. Grandma would have loved it. She hoped Birkita approved. She’d be waiting for her in the Great Chamber with Deidre and Raelin. The anticipation of seeing the women, and the fact that Morrigan was starving, had her hurrying out of the Usgaran, Brina trotting alongside.