I gazed up at her and some of the fog in which I’d been lost began to clear. “Morrigan is in trouble?”
She is, and I fear for her soul.
I closed my eyes against a new wave of pain. “Myrna is with you, isn’t she?”
You know she is, Beloved.
I opened my eyes and forced myself to meet her brilliant gaze. “I’ve been very angry at you.”
Great anger cannot exist without great love. Then she bent and kissed me gently on the forehead. I trembled under her touch as her love filled me, burning away the last of the sickly fog that had clouded my mind and numbed my heart.
“I’ll help Morrigan,” I said, lying back on the pillows and beginning to relax my body for the astral projection that I knew was to come. “Let’s go to Oklahoma.”
The Goddess raised a single golden brow at me, oddly reminding me of myself. Morrigan is not in Oklahoma, Beloved. The daughter of your spirit is in our world.
I hardly had time to begin to feel amazement at her announcement, when she hit me with another shock.
Ready yourself, Beloved, you travel to the Realm of the Sidetha.
“Where Kai and Kegan are?” I shook my head, trying to clear the confusion from it.
Kegan is there. Kai is dead, Beloved, killed by the same darkness that stalks Morrigan’s soul.
This time my anger was purifying instead of self-indulgent. “The friggin three-faced dark god.”
Yes, Beloved, but today my desire is that light banishes Pryderi from both worlds for generations.
“All right. Let’s do this, but you’re going to have to explain what the hell has been going on.” I closed my eyes and I was pulled from my body and catapulted up through the roof of my temple while Epona filled me in…
CHAPTER 23
Kegan’s words, “Birkita is already gone, my flame,” shocked through Morrigan. All she could do was shake her head back and forth, back and forth in disbelief. Just as she had when Kyle died…Just as she had at Kai’s deathbed…
“You did this!” Shayla hissed at Morrigan from where she had collapsed on the ground. Brina crouched between Shayla and Morrigan, growling softly and watching the Sidetha’s Mistress through slit eyes while she continued to spew hatred. “You didn’t bring light to us. You brought death. You’re not a Light Bringer, you’re a Death Bringer.”
“Shayla!” Kegan’s voice was sharp, even though he spoke to her compassionately. “You are not yourself. What you say is caused by your grief. Morrigan had nothing to do with any of these tragic deaths.”
Shayla’s eyes burned with hatred as she glared at Morrigan. Spittle flew from her bloodless lips as she hurled her words. “I found Kai. He told me that the darkness that follows you caused his death. He said you are being stalked by it and that it would engulf you. All of this is your fault. His death is your fault!” she shrieked.
Morrigan couldn’t speak. She couldn’t tell Shayla that what she said wasn’t true because she was too afraid the Mistress was right. Morrigan had pulled Birkita’s body into her arms. All she could do was hold the dead mirror image of her grandma and stare at Shayla and Kegan. Morrigan felt no grief. She felt no pain. She was detached, observing the events unfolding in front of her as though through a long, telescopic lens.
“Enough, Shayla!” Kegan snapped. “You’re wrong. Kai was wrong. I am a High Shaman. I would know if Morrigan trafficked with the dark god. She does not.”
Shayla turned her hate-filled gaze onto the centaur, and then suddenly her face crumpled and tears streamed down her pale cheeks. “She has tainted even you.”
Morrigan thought Kegan looked sad and a decade older than his years. “I was fashioned to love Morrigan. Think logically, Shayla. You know the Goddess would not fashion my soul mate from darkness.”
“Kai was my soul mate!” Shayla collapsed. Head bowed, she sobbed her grief.
Morrigan heard Kegan sigh wearily. “Shayla, let the priestesses escort you to your chamber.” He bent down, meaning to grasp her arms and help the broken woman to her feet. “I’ll send the Healer to you and—”
Shayla grabbed the sword of the Sidetha that until then had lain forgotten where she’d dropped it, and with a movement that was snake quick and driven with unnatural strength, thrust it up into Kegan’s chest as he bent to help her. With another blindingly swift movement, she pulled a gleaming dagger from the folds of her dress and hurled it at Morrigan. With a deafening scream Brina leaped, blocking her, and the dagger meant for Morrigan embedded itself in the big cat’s throat.
Morrigan’s numbness shattered as Kegan and Brina collapsed. She lunged to her feet, screaming. Brina’s body was absolutely still and Kegan was trying to raise himself up with one hand, while with the other he plucked uselessly at the sword embedded to the hilt in his chest. “No, stay still, it’ll be okay, it’ll be okay,” Morrigan soothed as she wrapped her arms around his torso, trying to support him and keep him still. “Get the Healer!” she yelled to one of the frozen priestesses.
“It isn’t Shayla,” Kegan gasped, the words thick with the blood that ran from his mouth.
Panicked, Morrigan looked wildly up, expecting Shayla to launch herself at them. Instead the Sidetha’s Mistress was standing in front of the brightly burning pyre, so close that Morrigan could see her white robes were beginning to smolder. Shayla cocked her head, as if listening to a voice in the wind. Then she said in a clear, awful voice, “Yes, yes, you’re right. I do want to join Kai.” With a terrible smile, Shayla hurled herself onto the burning pyre.
Morrigan had no time for the screams or cries of the people around them. Her world was focused on Kegan. She had managed to prop him against her, and she was holding his torso awkwardly up, trying to wipe up the blood that ran steadily from his mouth and from around the embedded sword.
“Morrigan.” Her name was little more than a whisper.
“Shh, don’t try to talk. Just concentrate on living.”
“You must listen to me.” He placed his hand wearily on hers to still her frightened, fluttery movements.
Morrigan looked into his eyes and saw the truth there. Kegan was going to die. She stopped trying to stanch the bleeding and instead took his hand in hers. She would not cry now. There would be time enough for that later. Now she would cherish every second she had left with him.
“I’m listening,” she said softly.
“Shayla was under the influence of the dark god. I saw it in her eyes when she stabbed me and killed Brina.” He paused to cough painfully and fresh blood gushed down his body. “The god never meant to kill you. He wanted all your protectors gone.” His breathing was labored and his body had begun to tremble. “Do not let him win. He caused all of this—Kai, Birkita, Brina and me. He did this, not you. Remember that, my love, my flame.”
“I’ll remember, Kegan. I love you and I believe you were fashioned for me,” she said in a rush.
He smiled. “Ah, I knew you would come to believe me. So now you must find me again, my flame. In another life…another world…find me…” Kegan’s smile faded. He gasped once. His grip on her hand tightened spasmodically, and then the breath left his body in a frothing rush and he breathed no more.
Morrigan dropped her head to his shoulder and rested it there. She couldn’t cry. Everything inside her was too broken. She couldn’t find the path to tears.
Then one of the priestesses screamed, a sound so filled with terror that it pierced through Morrigan’s despair. She lifted her head and saw that Deidre was standing not far from her. The priestess’s eyes were round and glassy and fixed on the pyre. Morrigan followed her gaze to see that Shayla’s burning body had begun to writhe and as she watched, a shape heaved itself from the dead Mistress and stepped out of the fire. He shook himself, like a dog ridding itself of water, and then he turned to face Morrigan.
He was tall and powerfully built. Thick, dark hair framed a face that was ageless in its classic beauty. His sensuous lips smiled, washing Morrigan in warmth and lo
ve. “There you are, my Precious One.” His voice was achingly familiar and with a terrible sinking, Morrigan knew she’d been listening to different versions of it all her life.
“Pryderi,” she said.
“How easily you know me.”
“I would know you anywhere.” As she said it, Morrigan understood it was the absolute truth. Now that she’d seen him—heard him speak—she knew that he would never again be a stranger to her. His whispers would never again be mistaken for anyone except himself.
What a fool she had been.
“I have watched you grow from a precocious child into a beautiful, powerful woman. I am well pleased with you, Precious One. And are you ready now to cast aside lesser things and pledge yourself to me as my Chosen and incarnate?”
Carefully, Morrigan laid Kegan’s torso against the ground. She touched his cheek one last time before standing and facing the beautiful dark god.
“You did all of this, didn’t you? You caused all of their deaths—first Kyle, then Myrna, Kai, Birkita, Brina, Kegan and Shayla.” Her voice was calm and she sounded almost disinterested.
“You are mistaken, Chosen One. Myrna’s death was separate from the others. But you are correct that one person caused the deaths of all of the others, though that person was not me.”
“Who caused their deaths?” With sickening certainty, Morrigan knew the answer before he spoke it.
“You did, my Precious One. The goddesses you looked to, first Epona and then Adsagsona, did not help you. They allowed your powers to surge unchecked.” His laugh was beautiful and deadly cruel. “They call it allowing you free will. I name it more truly as their divine uncaring. Look where it got you. Everyone you love in this world is dead because of you.”
“And you can change that?”
“I can change that.”
“If I pledge myself to you, you will bring them back to me?”
“No, Morrigan! Don’t listen to his lies!” Deidre cried.
With blinding speed Pryderi’s hand shot out and the priestess was thrown backward to land in a broken, silent heap. The rest of the priestesses screamed in horror and ran from the knoll, following the Sidetha who had retreated into their caves.
“The priestesses of the cave goddess should learn when it is wise to hold their tongues,” he said.
Morrigan didn’t allow herself even a glance at the fallen priestess. Instead she repeated her question. “If I pledge myself to you, you will bring them back to me?”
“Unlike the goddesses, I will not lie to you. I cannot bring those who have already died back to you. But I can promise you that no one else you love will be harmed by your unchecked powers. Pledge to me, Morrigan MacCallan, and I will take the burden of controlling your power from you. I will not let you harm any others, and I will cherish you for eternity.”
“So it’s true. I am a Death Bringer, not a Light Bringer.”
“You are both, Precious One.”
Morrigan, he’s lying to you.
At the sound of her voice, Morrigan’s head snapped to the right. She was there, though clearly made entirely of spirit. She smiled at Morrigan, even though tears were falling steadily from her eyes.
“Shannon?” The numbness inside Morrigan that had carried her this far began to fade, leaving behind a pain that pierced her so deeply that it was making it difficult for her to breathe.
Hello, Morrigan.
“Go back to your horse goddess, Chosen One, you have no business here!” Pryderi’s voice was venomous with anger.
Oh, shut up, you pathetic creature. I have every right to be here. I’ve lost one daughter. This one I will not lose.
“You have no say in this! Morrigan has chosen me and not a careless goddess who abandons her to flounder about in the dark. Go back to your temple and leave my priestess to me.”
Shannon didn’t even glance at the dark god. She had eyes only for Morrigan. You didn’t cause the death of any of these people. Pryderi did. It wasn’t your power that was uncontrolled, it was his.
“That doesn’t change the fact that all of this happened because of me,” Morrigan said.
Not because of you, honey. Because he wants you. Don’t give him what he wants. Don’t make their deaths meaningless. Adsagsona awaits your pledge.
“Then why isn’t the cave goddess here?” Pryderi shouted.
Without looking at the dark god, Shannon said, He knows that answer as well as I do. Like Epona, the Goddess Adsagsona will not cajole, lie or manipulate you into her service. You must come to her freely, of your own will. Morgie, honey, she has already marked you as her own. All you need to do is take the next step.
Morrigan looked back at the silent bodies of Kegan and Birkita and Brina. “But if I choose Adsagsona, will she control my powers?”
The goddesses don’t control us. They love us and care for us and ask us to make the right choices for ourselves and our people. It is you who must control yourself.
Pryderi’s terrible laughter filled the knoll. “I told you how they are—uncaring, distant, too divine to truly love.”
Morrigan felt her presence before she spoke.
You must make your own choice, my daughter.
Rhiannon had materialized beside Shannon. Her form was less tangible than even Shannon’s ethereally transparent shape, but her voice filled the air—and it was a voice she could now recognize. Morrigan had heard it on the wind, singing lullabies, speaking encouragement, murmuring soft endearments that were almost, but never quite completely, drowned out by Pryderi’s more powerful, darkly compelling whispers.
“Mom!” Morrigan gasped the word as if it were a lifeline she was trying to clutch.
Rhiannon smiled her bittersweet smile. Morrigan, my daughter, you trusted love, you trusted loyalty, now you must find the strength to trust honor.
“But whose honor do I trust? Adsagsona’s? She’s not even here,” Morrigan cried.
The Goddess is always here, my daughter, Rhiannon said.
And it’s yourself who represents honor, Morgie honey, yourself you must trust, Shannon said.
“Show them, Precious One,” Pryderi said. “Show them that you have the strength to choose me.”
Morrigan bowed her head and the confusion within her cleared. She knew beyond any doubt what she had to do—she also knew she had to get the strength to do it. As she had that wonderful evening with Kegan that seemed forever ago, she reached through her body and down into the earth and the sacred selenite crystals below her.
Light Bringer!
You have to come with me when I call you, all of you. She filled her mind with the thought and sent it back through the connection.
We hear and obey you, Light Bringer.
When Morrigan raised her head she didn’t look back at the bodies of the two people she’d loved so much, and the big cat who had been her protector. She didn’t look at the glistening forms of her two mothers. Instead Morrigan kept her gaze on the dark god and the crystal boulders that had behind him blazed into a light so brilliant it rivaled the raging fire of the madly burning funeral pyre. Morrigan began to walk slowly to him. By the time she stood before him, he was smiling triumphantly.
“I knew you would be mine, Precious One. Together we will create a new kind of world.” He held his arms out to her. “Kiss me, and you will forever be mine.”
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as Morrigan stepped into his arms. Instead of kissing him, she wrapped her arms around him and shouted, “Now light! Come to me! Burn through me!” Instantly, Morrigan was ablaze with the power of the crystals as their white light surged through her body, engulfing Pryderi as well as her. His eyes widened in surprise and he tried to push her away from him, but Morrigan shouted again, “Keep him here! Hold him to me!” And, just as she prayed they would, the power of the crystals obeyed her will.
Morrigan! What are you doing! Shannon was suddenly there. Morrigan could see her over Pryderi’s shoulder. Rhiannon was still beside her, only her mom did
n’t look upset. Her mother nodded slowly at her and, with a voice filled with pride and love, said, You have chosen well, my daughter. My pride in you is eternal. Morrigan saw Rhiannon take Shannon’s hand. You must allow Morrigan her destiny, Shannon. Then her attention was pulled back to Pryderi as the god increased his struggle to break free of her.
“What are you doing!” he yelled. “Release me!”
“No, Pryderi. You see, I’ve made my choice. I choose Adsagsona and free will. And with my free will I’ve decided that it’s time your evil came to an end.”
“No!” Pryderi shrieked. His beautiful face rippled and reformed as he continued to try to free himself from the burning, white-hot strength of the Light Bringer’s power. His sensuous mouth was seared shut. His nose became a grotesque hole. His eyes were no longer smiling and kind. They glowed with an inhuman yellow light. Then, as Morrigan gathered herself for what she knew she had to do, his eyes became dark, empty caverns and the mouth ripped open to show bloody fangs and a slavering maw.
Morrigan looked into that terrible face and smiled grimly. “As of now you are through.” With the dark god trapped in her arms, Morrigan MacCallan, Light Bringer and Chosen of Adsagsona, closed her eyes, breathed a last prayer to the Goddess—Help me to find Kegan again—and then threw herself into the funeral pyre.
The pain was soul searing and complete, but it lasted only an instant. And Morrigan took the dark god, Pryderi, with her as she died.
EPILOGUE I
Oklahoma
“Goddammit, I don’t care what every knot-headed sheriff in this back-ass-wards county says. I’m not going to quit looking until I find my granddaughter’s body!”
“Listen, Mr. Parker, I understand what you’re going through but—”
“Like hell you do!” Richard Parker barked at him. “Has your granddaughter ever been buried in a cave-in?”
“Well, sir, I’m twenty-seven. I don’t have a granddaughter.”