* * * *
“This is dumb.”
“Your opinion has been noted.”
“And ignored.”
“Vigorously ignored.”
I sighed, loudly, and looked up in time to see him shake his head. We were trekking through the underbrush of Briarcliff National Park and had barely gone a mile before I started breathing hard and sweating like a weighty streetwalker in June.
“Are we there yet?” I groaned.
“Almost.”
“How long?”
“Another hour.”
I spit in the dirt and started cursing in every language I knew and a few I didn’t.
“Five minutes,” he amended with a laugh, and fuming, I fell silent.
As promised, five minutes later we stepped into a clearing. I collapsed in a heap at its edge and watched as Gabriel walked into the center and turned a slow circle.
He seemed calmer, more content out here in the woods than I had ever seen him in a boardroom. Wearing a white t-shirt and a faded pair of jeans, hair like golden fire in the sunlight and eyes closing in bliss, I wanted to…I don’t know.
I wanted to consume him, pull every part of him into me. It wasn’t that I loved him, or even that I was obsessed with him. It was more as if I knew, on a cellular level that we should be together.
In Plato’s dialogue, The Symposium, Aristophanes tells how some human beings were originally born with four arms, four legs, and a head made of two faces. They had wanted to conquer the Gods and Zeus tore them in half as punishment. Ever since, humans have lived in agony, constantly searching for the other half of themselves.
Their soul mates.
I wasn’t such a romantic that I believed Gabriel and I were soul mates. I’d outgrown such thoughts a long time ago. But it was either that, or I was beginning to seriously consider cannibalism. If given the choice between the two? I’d hope for the cannibalism. It would be less complicated.
His head fell back, his lips parted, and taking a deep breath, he howled.
Music.
That’s what it was.
It was nothing like the howl I’d heard before. This was more of an invitation than a threat. A ballad of loneliness instead of a show of strength and dominance. It silenced the creatures in the woods around us and marched to the sky. Sailing, sailing, beyond and away.
The howls that followed were ripe with jubilation.
“We’re here, we’re here,” they seemed to say, heralding their owners like quicksilver on the wind. Their owners followed soon after, leaping into the clearing in twos and threes. I hadn’t expected them to come so quickly, and I found myself stepping back, hiding behind the trunk of a tree. I could still watch the proceedings, but it eased the instinctive panic I’d felt at the sight of the Pack gathering. My arm throbbed, a warning cry, and I gritted my teeth, head resting against the trunk of the tree as I tried to swallow down rising nausea.
As before, some of the Pack had shifted already while the others were still in human form. In minutes the clearing was filled with business suits and sundresses, gleaming teeth and fur, denim shorts and wagging tails. They were beautiful, milling around. Jumping and leaping upon one another like giant puppies, human and animal alike. Mock battles broke out and I saw more than one wiggling behind as one wolf prepared to leap upon another.
They greeted Gabriel like some long lost brother, or some beloved father figure. They swarmed him, hugging, kissing. Licking his hands and face, rubbing their bodies along his legs. It was if they couldn’t get enough of touching him, of having him touch them, and if he hadn’t jumped upon a nearby boulder with a laugh they would have buried him beneath the weight of their adoration.
I had to blink and turn away for a moment, my throat going tight. Was this what family looked like? Love? Even if they were only with one another because of some magical mumbo-jumbo, what they had was real.
More real than anything I’d ever had, anyway.
Once I had myself under control, I turned back to watch the gathering of the Pack. There were about a hundred of them or so, and Gabriel looked out over the masses with a practiced eye. Finally, he held up a hand and slowly but surely, they settled down one by one.
“I called you all here today in light of the events that have taken place recently.” Wolf and human both crouched in the grass where they stood until Gabriel was surrounded by a mob of attentive eyes. A preacher with his congregation.
He lifted one eyebrow and leveled a stern eye on every single one of them.
“I hope I don’t have to tell any of you that I won’t approve of interviews.” Several members shifted uncomfortably and Gabriel frowned at them all. “Indulging the media only fuels the fire. If we’re going to make this all die down, then we can’t afford to encourage this.”
“But…what if we don’t want it to die down?” This from a young man near the back of the group. “What if coming out is a good thing?”
While there were murmurs of agreement from some, the others snapped and snarled a denial. Gabriel shook his head.
“Coming out is fine, if that’s what you want to do. The problem is that not all of us are ready to burn that particular bridge. If some reveal themselves, they’ll need the backing of the Packs. Not only to keep them safe from the glory seekers and Were-killers like the Huntsmen, but to help police anyone who decides to integrate with the humans.”
“Not all of us need babysitters,” retorted a snide female voice.
Gabriel snapped his teeth in warning, and I saw the speaker flinch back.
“Don’t be a fool. How safe do you think the humans would be with us running wild on a full moon night? And the full moon isn’t our only obstacle. Victoria,” he snapped the woman’s name, and she ducked her head in shame, “if I remember correctly, weren’t you the one who shifted last year in the middle of a school day? If I hadn’t been there to ‘babysit’ you, your first grade class would have been a few Crayolas short of a full box.” He tapped his chin in thought. “What was it that set you off that time? Oh, right. You got dumped.” A significant pause. “Again.”
The teenager at her side snickered. “Want some ice for that burn?” she whispered, and several people laughed. The woman grumbled something beneath her breath, but otherwise remained silent.
Gabriel glared at her for a second or two longer, before returning his attention to the Pack at large.
“Coming out, when and if we decide to do so, needs to be a unanimous decision between Packs. It should be well-planned and carefully executed. This? This is disorganized, it’s messy, and in the end, it’s a recipe for disaster. Agreed?”
They did, and pleased, Gabriel grinned at them. Their pleasure at his approval was almost palpable. It made me feel slightly better knowing I wasn’t the only one made weak by that smile.
“Good. Which brings me to the reason we’re all here today.” His face darkened and collectively the Pack grew tense. “It seems that someone sold us out to the press.” His gaze hardened until the amber in his eyes was like ice.
This revelation was met with outrage and narrowed eyes.
A young woman in the front row, who had been eyeing Gabriel a little too much, came gracefully to her feet.
“I thought it was the human woman, Phaedra Conners.”
“She tells me she had nothing to do with it.” He sighed, “At least, almost nothing.”
Fair enough.
What followed was a barrage of denial.
“But why would any of us betray the Pack?”
“Who would have done something like this except for the human?”
“Why would you believe anything she has to say?”
Gabriel looked at the speaker and said very simply, “I just do.”
That quieted the naysayers down for a moment, but then one lone voice rose above all the others.
“The only reason you trust this human so much is because you have feelings for it.”
Marcus. Stepping out of crowd, he marched
to the front until he stood face to face with his brother.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gabriel seemed neutral enough, but there was a storm brewing in his eyes. It promised thunder and lightning.
“It means,” Marcus answered, voice loud and clear, “that we can’t trust your judgment when it comes to the Conners woman. What proof do you have that she’s innocent?”
“What proof do you have that she isn’t?” came Gabriel’s knee jerk response. We both winced at the same time and I could only assume that he was thinking of the other hidden cameras, as well as my recent stint at the Oracle. “Scratch that,” he said instead, growing frustrated with the line of questioning. The man had an awful poker face. “She’s innocent because I said she is.”
“When did this become a dictatorship?” Marcus asked, voice reprimanding.
Gabriel snorted and folded his arms over his chest. “Well, it sure as hell ain’t a democracy. You can have your own opinions when I tell you to, and only then when I tell you what they are.”
That little statement?
Didn’t please the masses at all.
The atmosphere in the clearing seemed reminiscent of Marie Antoinette before the beheading, and before I could think about what I was doing, I stepped out from behind my tree and made my presence known. As soon as I came within sniffing distance, heads began to turn. A sea of not-so-smiling faces all aiming in my direction. Then, one by one, eyes began to glow. Blue, green, brown, gray, or hazel it didn’t matter. By the time the entire pack was glaring at me, my presence had caused all of their eyes to shift to that bright, dancing, yellow of their wolves.
I cleared my throat.
“Hi,” I said, ‘cause I’m lame like that and watched Marcus smirk at me.
“Look who’s here. The human came to defend itself.”
“Not too bright is she?” Someone whispered in disbelief, and I heard several muffled chuckles.
Gabriel glared at the source of the noise and the laughter died down as if the offenders could feel his eyes burning holes in their backs.
“Phaedra,” he said quietly, walking through the crowd to come and stand beside me. “Go back to the car.”
“You’re not handling this well,” I said, shaking of his grip.
“And how are you going to help me handle it any better? You’re not exactly the picture of diplomacy. In fact, in the dictionary beneath the word ‘diplomacy,’ your face is listed in the antonyms.”
Not having looked in a dictionary in years, I wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth or not, so I floundered for a comeback before settling with, “You invited me,” I exclaimed and watched him wrinkle his nose in the cutest show of self deprecation I’d ever seen.
“Admittedly bad planning on my part.” His hands went to my shoulders and he forcibly turned me around and began to push. “You were right. I was wrong. This was dumb. Now please go home.”
“Wait a minute,” Marcus called out, and I slipped away from Gabriel before he could finish shoving me from the clearing. “The human being here may actually work in her favor.”
Jaw working, Gabriel turned slowly back to face the pack. Several members stepped back at the look on his face, and I didn’t blame them.
“What grand scheme have you come up with this time?”
“No scheme,” Marcus assured him, the very picture of innocence. “Just Pack law.”
Gabriel rolled his eyes heavenward as if praying for patience. “Here we go.”
“Pack law states,” Marcus growled, angry with the dismissal, “that any member accused of a wrong-doing has the choice of a Trial—”
Yay!
Trials were good things. Trials were fair. I could talk my way out of trial.
“—by combat.” He finished and the live studio audience in my head went “Aww.”
“She’s not Pack,” Gabriel said, stating the obvious in my opinion. But Marcus simply shrugged.
“Then she dies.”
“Damnit Marcus—”
“No,” Marcus snapped, overriding Gabriel’s outrage. “The human is a threat to the pack. We eliminate threats.”
“But she isn’t a threat,” Gabriel said, exasperated, and I nodded quickly in agreement, coming forward to stand at his side and clutch his hand with my own.
“Yeah,” I said, sounding young, “I’m no threat.”
“You spied on us.” It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded reluctantly anyway.
“You lied to us,” Marcus continued, “And you reported us to your human media.”
“Well, when you put it like that—” Whatever I’d been about to say was drowned out by all the noise the crowd was making. I couldn’t understand individual words or phrases, but I got the general idea. They wanted my head. But Marcus wasn’t done with me yet.
“How do we know you weren’t working with the Huntsmen that day at the parking garage? Hell, you may be working for them even now. Giving us up to the humans. How many more Were-killers do you think are going to come out of the woodwork to support your cause now that they know who and what we are?”
Then it clicked.
It had been Marcus. He’d taken the necklace and released the video. But to what end? Was it all as he’d said? To recruit more men and women to join the hunt against Werewolves, or was it for a deeper, darker purpose? I couldn’t fathom turning on my own family this way, not for any reason. So it was hard to dredge up motives for why Marcus could have been doing so. Was it simply because he was a defective Were? A wolf who couldn’t shift?
I turned to Gabriel. Maybe I would have told him my suspicions, or maybe I would have simply denied the charges and left it at that. But he was already looking down at me. His hand had grown slack in mine, and I let him go and took a step away.
I’d gone diving one summer after graduation. I’d gone as deep as I could go, and then, just to be daring, I went a little deeper. From my vantage point, I’d been able to see the bottom of the sea floor and all the creatures that had lived within.
I had come upon it suddenly.
The shelf.
It was like the world had just dropped away. Like God had been building a road and forgotten a step. Beyond the shelf, the sea had darkened from blue and sea green to black. I remember floating there beside it, too petrified to swim any further. It was quieter there at the shelf, as if all the big things, all the scary things, were buried so deep that you couldn’t even hear them screaming anymore.
That’s what Gabriel reminded me of when he went to that deep, still place inside of himself. Sometimes I thought he would never come back up from it. As if he liked it better there. I could tell just by looking at him that he was in that place as he looked down at me, and suddenly I was no longer as confident as I had been about telling him the truth. Nothing had changed since the last time I’d spoken to Sonya. Not really. Gabriel had no reason to believe me over Marcus. Over his brother and pack member. If anything, he had even less of a reason to support me than I’d originally thought. If he took my word about Marcus, then Marcus would have to participate in the whole Trial by Combat thing.
Even if he wasn’t killed during the trial, revealing what I knew would sow discord among the pack and take away Gabriel’s only remaining family. In fact, Gabriel may very well decide that it would be easier for everyone just to blame the human, the outsider, and let me die.
But then again, if I kept my mouth shut wouldn’t I be endangering the entire pack by not revealing that Marcus was working for the Huntsmen?
These were the thoughts that were running through my head, but while I debated the pros and cons, Gabriel had already reached a decision.
“Fine.” As soon as he spoke any noise among the pack ceased. “You’re right. If the human is a threat, then that threat must be eliminated.” My stomach plummeted and the Weres around me cheered. “But,” he continued, voice rising to be heard over their excitement even as he searched my face, “I won’t allow you to kill an innocent woman.”
>
“You just said she was a threat.” Someone called out angrily, and Gabriel’s lips peeled back revealing that his teeth had begun to lengthen and sharpen in his mouth along with his rising frustration. Nervously, the speaker cleared his throat, and added, “Alpha, sir.”
“I said,” Gabriel spoke on a sigh as he fought to find patience, “that if she was a threat. If. We’ve yet to determine whether or not she’s guilty.”
There was a warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest that I sort of liked. I wondered if this is what the Grinch had felt like when Cindy Lou Who had believed in him. It wasn’t exactly a declaration of innocence, but it was more than I’d ever gotten before. He was willing to trust me, despite evidence to the contrary.
That felt nice.
Then Marcus spoke up and messed up my vibe. “And how do you propose we determine her innocence?”
“The same way we would judge a member of the pack.”
Trial by Combat.
Sonofabitch.
“Discipline has to be dealt out ruthlessly. Wolves are big, dangerous. If we aren’t going to behave, you have to prove that you can make us.”
—Silvia Cobb
Chapter Twelve