She tried to open her eyes again and shake away the heavy veil that weighed her down. It hurt. God, it felt as though someone had driven a stake through her head. But she struggled on, determined to break free of the fog surrounding her.
Her eyelids slowly fluttered, each blink beating like a hammer. She dragged her lids upward and for a moment, utter panic swamped her. It was dark and unfamiliar and the smell—it was so sterile. Like a . . . hospital.
She glanced frantically around, trying to make sense of her surroundings. She was in a strange bed. Not very comfortable either. A rhythmic beep-beep sounded loudly in her ear, making her wince.
“Jace?”
It came out more panicked sounding than she’d like, but she was scared and alone and she wanted Jace.
Then movement beside her, making her startle, and then Jace was suddenly looming over her, his eyes filled with anguish and relief.
“Bethany, baby, you’re awake. Thank God, you’re awake.”
His voice was clogged with emotion. It sounded as though he’d been crying. There was so much relief and worry all packed into those simple words that she was stunned and more befuddled than ever. What had happened? What was wrong?
She licked dry lips and swallowed. Her tongue was thick and like sawdust in her mouth.
“I had the most horrible dream,” she whispered. “What’s wrong with me, Jace? Where am I?”
He pressed a kiss to her brow and she could feel him trembling against her skin. Almost like he was desperately trying to maintain his composure. Then he took her hand, squeezing it in his. It was then she realized there was an IV in her arm.
“You were very sick, baby. I almost lost you. Thank God you came back to me.”
Maybe it hadn’t been a dream. Oh God, did that mean he thought she’d tried to kill herself? Hysteria rose in her throat and she made a strangled sound. She began to shake violently and Jace enfolded her in his arms, holding her tightly against him.
“Shhh, baby, it’s going to be all right now.”
“I didn’t do it, Jace,” she said vehemently. “Please, you have to believe me. I didn’t take anything! I wouldn’t!”
He stroked his hand down her hair and rocked her back and forth in his arms. “I know you didn’t, baby. I know.”
She went still and then pulled back so she could see his face. “You do?”
“Of course. You told me you didn’t so I knew you hadn’t.”
She sagged, going limp against the pillow. Relief, sweet and heady, rushed through her veins. He believed her.
“You believe me,” she whispered, relief making her light-headed. Then she frowned, her lips pursing in confusion. “But how then? I don’t understand.”
“How much do you remember?” Jace asked gently.
Her brow furrowed and she tried to concentrate but her head hurt too badly. “I don’t know. I went to Jack’s. Kaden called me. Said he was back. I went over, but I made sure Kaden was with me,” she rushed to say.
Jace’s hand tightened around hers. “I know, baby. You did fine. You did everything right.”
“I was so angry with Jack. I was yelling at him. Asking him why he was so determined to fuck things up. He said he wanted to say good-bye and when I asked him where he was going he just said ‘away.’”
A scowl darkened Jace’s face.
“He made me hot chocolate. That’s all I remember,” she said faintly.
“It’s all right, baby. You’re going to be okay. That’s all that matters.”
She looked up at him, grief coiling in her chest. Tears clogged her throat and she could barely breathe.
“Jack,” she whispered. “He did it, didn’t he?”
Tears slid down her cheeks and a sob welled in her throat.
Jace looked tormented, his eyes tortured as he stared back at her. “I’m afraid so, baby. I’m sorry.”
She closed her eyes. “Why?”
Jace sucked in a deep breath and he caressed her cheek, wiping away the tears. “He didn’t mean to hurt you, honey. He’s an idiot, but he didn’t mean to hurt you.” He hesitated a long moment, his face a mask of regret. “He meant to kill himself.”
“What?”
Pain exploded in her chest. No. He wouldn’t. But then memories filtered through her mind. Jack so quiet and resigned. Him telling her he was leaving and when she asked where he was going he’d simply said “away.”
“Why would he do something like that?”
Jace shook his head. “I don’t have an answer to that, baby. Sorry. I don’t know what he was thinking. I busted his balls over it. I wanted to kill him myself for what he did to you. You almost died. You did die. Thank God they got you back. I can never forgive him for that.”
She went silent, sadness overwhelming her. This time Jack had gone too far. He’d done something he could never make amends for. Jace would never forgive him and she wasn’t sure she could either. He’d crossed a line he could never go back from.
“Where is he now?” she asked quietly.
“He’s here. In the waiting room. Kaden is keeping an eye on him.”
“Don’t let him do it,” she whispered. “Don’t let him try it again.”
Jace slid onto the bed next to her, his hip resting against her side. “Right now I’m more focused on you and you getting better. How do you feel? Is there anything I can get you?”
“Just groggy,” she replied. “Muggy. Like my head is all swimmy. Having a hard time concentrating.”
“That’s to be expected,” he said gently. “Can you forgive me, Bethany? Are you willing to give me a chance to make things right between us?”
She looked up in surprise. “What do you mean?”
He closed his eyes and when he reopened them there was a swarm of emotions. Relief. Sadness. Worry. Fear.
“Do you have any idea how much it slays me that you’d even ask me that? Or the relief I feel at the same time? You act as though I did nothing wrong. Like I didn’t cut you so deep that you cried yourself to sleep while I was next to you, unable to do a damn thing about it.”
He sucked in a deep breath and she could see how truly shaken he was. He looked haggard, completely strung out. Like he hadn’t slept in days.
“Baby, you have no idea how bad you scared me. I thought I’d lost you. I’ll never be more fucking grateful than I am to that team of doctors and nurses who refused to let you go and brought you back to me.”
To her astonishment, a tear slid down his cheek and he hastily wiped it away as he inhaled deeply through his nose.
“How long have I been out?” she whispered.
He smiled shakily, relief still simmering in those dark eyes. “Over twenty-four hours, baby. They brought you in yesterday morning.”
Her mouth dropped open. “That long?”
“That long,” he whispered. “The longest twenty-four hours of my life.”
“I’m sorry,” she said hoarsely, still stunned that she’d been unconscious for that long.
“Sorry?” He broke off in a garble laugh. “Baby, you have nothing to apologize for.”
“I’m sorry you were so worried though,” she said anxiously.
“It was worth it because I have you back. Never leave me, Bethany. Stay with me. Be with me. Love me.”
“I do love you, Jace. I’m sorry . . .”
He held up his fingers to her mouth, silencing her gently with his touch. “Don’t apologize for another damn thing. You’re going to lie there and listen to my apology.”
He turned, positioning himself on the narrow bed so he could lie next to her. It was crowded and cramped, the two of them barely fitting, but he made it work by sliding his arms around her and anchoring her firmly to his body. He put one arm underneath her head so it was pillowed against his shoulder. Then he let out a long breath, his body relaxing. For a moment he was silent but he still trembled against her. He touched her, his hand sliding up and down her body, stopping over her heart, his fingers splayed wide as if reassuring himself of her steady heartbeat.
Then he slipped his fingers higher, to her neck, feeling the thud of her pulse.
“Never felt a sweeter thing, baby,” he whispered. “Your heart beating. You breathing. I’ll never take that for granted. Going to wake up every day knowing it’ll be the best damn ever because you’re still here, in my life, loving me, waking up next to me.”
Tears gathered in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Her chest rose with a quiet sob and she turned her face into his neck, her breaths hiccupping over his skin.
“I’m sorry, baby. So damn sorry for that night. I had no right to say those things. You didn’t deserve it. Ash didn’t deserve it. I lashed out at you both when you’re the last people on earth I’d ever want to hurt.”
“It’s okay,” she said, her words muffled against his neck.
“No, it’s not okay, baby. It’s not. But I can guarantee you it’ll never happen again. Not that. I’m sure I’ll say shit that hurts you. I won’t even swear that it’ll never happen. But I’ll never make you feel like you did that night again. You’ll never go another day without my trust. I trust you absolutely.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “I know, Jace.”
He went still. “How could you possibly know that? I’ve certainly given you no proof.”
“You believed me when I said I didn’t take those pills.”
His grip tightened around her. “No, baby. At first I did because that was what I was told. But you told me before. When you were so out of it. The one time you briefly regained consciousness. You told me then and I knew you hadn’t.”
A fresh surge of tears welled in her eyes and spilled onto his neck. “Thank you for that. You don’t know what that means to me.”
“I do,” he said quietly. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to give you that. I’ll never hold that back from you again.”
He turned so he could press a kiss to her forehead and he left his lips there, warm and sweet against her skin. She closed her eyes and savored the rightness of being in his arms. She was alive. He was here. She couldn’t ask for anything more.
“Can you forgive me?” he asked again.
“Oh, Jace, I already forgave you. The morning you left for work. I know that trust takes time. We’re so new. We fell into each other so hard and fast and things were so intense. And trust takes time to build. We’ve only known each other such a short time and we’re still learning one another.”
“You’re so sweet and forgiving,” he said in an aching voice. “I don’t deserve you but I want you more than I want to breathe. And I’m never letting you go, baby.”
“Don’t, then,” she whispered into his neck. “Don’t let me go, Jace. I’m lost without you.”
“You’ll never be lost, baby. Never again. I’ll always find you. No matter where you go, I’ll always be there to bring you home.”
“I’m hungry,” she murmured. “Will they let me eat anything yet? When will I be able to go home? Is there anything . . . wrong . . . with me? Will I be okay from this?”
She couldn’t keep the anxiety from creeping into her voice.
“Not sure when you’ll be able to go home. The doctor said you’ll make a full recovery. They’ll be running tests to make sure there isn’t any liver damage but he didn’t expect there’d be any permanent ramifications. As for food, I’ll go check with the nurse right now. If they say you can eat, I’ll order in the most fantastic meal ever. No hospital food for you.”
She smiled, relief swelling in her chest.
“I need to let the others know you’re awake and okay,” he said. “Mia, Gabe and Ash have camped out in the waiting room the entire time you’ve been here. They’ve been worried sick about you.”
“Jace?”
He sat up, picking up on the worry in her voice. He glanced down at her, concern burning brightly in his eyes.
“What is it, baby?”
“What’s going to happen to Jack?”
Jace’s expression went grim. “That I’m not sure of. This had to be reported to the police. At first it was reported as a suicide attempt.”
She blanched at that, mortified that anyone would think she’d done this to herself. Embarrassment crowded in, heavy and suffocating. She’d moved beyond her past. And now she was right back where she’d come from.
“Don’t look like that, baby,” Jace said in a gentle voice. “I spoke to the officer who investigated. He knows about Jack and his involvement. He also knows it wasn’t intentional. Not sure what this will mean for him, but it’s serious. He’ll have to face the consequences of what he did.”
Sadness crept into her heart, squeezing until it was a painful ache.
“I’ll see what can be done, baby. Let me worry about Jack, okay? All I want you to do is focus on feeling better so you can come home with me. Do you trust me to take care of this?”
She slowly nodded. She knew it was beyond her reach now. She could no longer protect Jack. He’d gone too far this time and she was powerless to protect him from the consequences. But it still saddened her that he’d opted to end his life rather than embrace the things that Jace had done for him. Life was sweet. Even when it was bad, there was always the hope of better. The future. And Jack could have made a better future for himself. That was his choice and Bethany couldn’t make that choice for him.
She couldn’t live her life for Jack. She had her own life to lead. With Jace. She wanted a better future.
It was time to let Jack make his own way.
“I know this hurts you, baby,” Jace said in a soft voice. “And I’m sorry. I’ll do my best for Jack, but you have to know I’m pissed as hell at him. He could have killed you. He could have taken you from me. He almost did.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
He leaned down to kiss her and then moved back from the bed. “Will you be okay for a few minutes while I go tell the others you’re awake and see about getting you some food?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
He walked to the door and then stopped and looked back at her a long moment as if memorizing her every feature. His eyes glowed warm with love and relief. So much love that she couldn’t possibly mistake it for anything else.
She smiled, infusing as much love as she could into her own gaze. He got it. Recognized it. Then he smiled back before turning and walking out the door.
chapter forty-two
Jace stepped into the waiting room in time to see a police officer cuff Jack’s hands behind his back. He walked over, forgetting for the time being that he was there to inform Mia, Gabe and Ash that Bethany was awake.
“Can I have just a moment?” Jace asked the police officer.
The officer hesitated and then said, “Two minutes. I have to take him in.”
Jace nodded and the officer took one step back but remained close as he eyed Jack.
“Wanted you to know Bethany is awake and she’s doing well,” Jace said in a low voice. “She also knows what happened and how.”
Jack’s face grew grim and regret haunted his eyes. Then he stared directly into Jace’s eyes.
“Take care of her for me.”
“I will,” Jace said shortly.
“And tell her I’m sorry,” he added quietly. “Tell her I love her. I’ll always love her.”
“If you love her, you’ll take this opportunity to straighten your life out,” Jace said. “If you’ll stick it out, I’ll hire a lawyer for you. Try to work out a deal where you go to rehab and get probation as opposed to a jail sentence. Can’t guarantee anything. I don’t want you anywhere near Bethany. She’s been hurt enough. If things work out, I wouldn’t be opposed to you keeping in touch with her.”
Jack stared at Jace for a long moment. “You’d do that for me?”
“I’m doing it for Bethany,” Jace said stiffly. “Only for her.”
Jack nodded. “Thanks, then. I’ll do it. It’s time to do something . . . different. Better. I almost killed the person who means the most to me. Can’t even say what that does to a man. I won’t touch that shit again. Ever.”
“I hope you’re telling the truth. I hope you straighten up and get clean.”
“Time’s up,” the officer said, moving forward to guide Jack out.
“I’ll have a lawyer come see you,” Jace said.
It went against every instinct not to let them make Jack rot in jail. Not that he’d probably do any time anyway. But he was doing this for Bethany, because it would be her who’d be hurt knowing Jack had gone to jail for his foolish actions. And he’d do anything at all to spare her more pain. Even if it meant helping the man who’d nearly ended her life.
It was twisted and fucked up in every way. His gut screamed to take revenge. To make Jack suffer for what he’d done. But Bethany would suffer the most and Jace couldn’t bear that.
“You’re a good man,” Jack said. “You’ll be good for my Bethy. I want her to be happy.”
“She’s mine,” Jace corrected.
“But she was mine first,” Jack said softly.
And then the officer led him away and Jace stood staring after him as he shuffled like a man much older than his twentysomething years.
“Jace?”
He turned to see Mia standing a short distance away, flanked by Gabe and Ash.
“Is it true? She’s awake? I heard you talking to Jack.”
Jace relaxed and then smiled at his family. “Yeah, she woke up a while ago. We talked. She was disoriented. Had no idea what happened.” His smile faded. “Had to tell her about Jack.”
Sympathy brimmed in Mia’s eyes.
“How’d she take it?” Gabe asked gruffly.
“Not very well. She’s upset,” Jace said with a sigh. “But she’s tough and she realizes she’s done all she can do for him.”
“Can we see her?” Mia asked.
“Yeah, baby girl. But first I need to see if they’ll let her eat something. She’s hungry and I promised her a good meal if they’ll let her have it. None of this hospital shit.”
“I’ll run out and get us all something,” Ash offered.
“That would be great. Thanks. I’m sure you’re all starving. You’ve been here all damn night. You should probably all go home and get some rest.”
“We’ll go home after we see Bethany. I want her to know she has people here who love her,” Mia said.
Jace pulled her into a hug. “Thanks, baby girl.”
She squeezed him back, then pushed away. “Go see if they’ll let her eat. I for one am starving and would love part of this fantastic meal you’ve promised her.”
• • •
Bethany glanced up when her door opened and Gabe, Mia and Ash walked in, relieved smiles on their faces when they saw her sitting up in bed. Jace squeezed her hand and smiled.
“Looks like dinner is here.”
Ash walked forward, several takeout bags and carry-out boxes in his hands. He spread them over the end of the bed and then walked up the other side of her bed