England laughed, took a mouthful of coffee and rested his hands on his desk.
‘I wouldn’t worry about that,’ he said.
‘I’m not.’
‘OK. Well as you may have gathered, we’re not the kind of solicitors who handle house sales and divorces. We work more on the corporate side of things, with some litigation work thrown in. The practice represents numerous clients across the Northern Counties including-’
‘Look mate,’ interrupted Rob. ‘I don’t want a sales pitch. Just cut to the chase will you?’
‘Well I’m afraid it’s not that simple,’ said England. slightly rattled that he’d been knocked out of his stride. ‘You see, there’s a very strict sequence of events laid down and-’
‘Look, just tell me who I’ve pissed off and then I can get out of here.’
Lee England looked across the desk and, after a brief pause, burst out laughing.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said after composing himself. ‘But you couldn’t be further from the truth. You see Robert, may I call you Robert?’
‘Call me anything you like pal. Just tell me what you have to tell me.’
‘Well, Robert, I have some good and some bad news for you.’ He suddenly burst out laughing again. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t ask you which one you want first.’
Rob stared blankly at him for a second and then leant forward and put his face in his hands. After a second or two, he looked up.
‘I don’t know what’s going on here,’ he began ‘but could you please just-’
England suddenly stood up and began pacing up and down the room.
‘Oh God, I’m really sorry. This must be terrible for you. But you see, this has taken months to plan and… well, I’ve never been involved in anything like it before.’
‘What?’ said Rob, increasingly exasperated. ‘Involved in what?’
The solicitor stopped pacing and stared out of the window.
‘Your uncle,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m afraid he’s died.’
Rob stared at the back of England’s head for a second and then fell back into his chair.
‘I haven’t got an uncle.’
England returned to his seat, took a photograph from the file and handed it across the desk.
‘That’s not strictly true. At least it wasn’t.’
Rob took the black and white photograph of a slim and distinguished-looking male aged about 70 and after a brief glance, handed it back.
‘Sorry, I’ve never seen this bloke before in my life. But then again, why would I? Like I say, I don’t have an uncle. Both my parents were only children. Who is he anyway?’
‘His name was Arthur Cooper and he was one of our clients, one of our major clients actually. About a year ago, he discovered he had cancer and came to us to sort out the details of his will. Part of that involved confirming his relationship to you.’
‘Are you saying I’m named in his will?’ asked a shocked Rob.
England stared at him for a moment and smiled warmly.
‘You’re actually the sole beneficiary.’
‘Well fuck me!’ said Rob. ‘Was he worth a few bob then? Not that it really matters. I mean, I feel sorry for the poor bloke and all that, but he’s really nothing to do with me. Like I said-’
‘I think you should look at this,’ said England holding out a second and obviously much older picture. It was nothing special, just two young boys aged about 10 sitting on the boot of an old Rover. But although both looked vaguely familiar, it was something else that drew Rob’s attention.
‘That number plate, WKT 327. That’s my granddad’s car.’
Rob looked up from the photo at England, who smiled thinly before handing him a letter. Inside, Rob found a handwritten note that he read a couple of times and then put away. His heart was racing.
‘Have you read this?’
‘I have. I suppose this all must come as something of a shock.’
Rob fell back and sighed. ‘You could say that. But why-?’
‘Why you?’ asked England pre-empting the obvious question. ‘It’s simple really. Arthur’s wife Mary died almost twenty years ago, but they had no children so that just left you. All of this has actually been in place for a while, but unfortunately Arthur died quite suddenly. A heart attack.’
Despite the fact that he had never even met Arthur Cooper, Rob suddenly felt deflated. Instant mourning.
‘But if he knew about me, why did he never make contact?’
‘I think that before you go jumping to any conclusions, you should follow the instructions in the letter. They are quite clear. Go and see your father and ask him to tell you about Arthur. Once you’ve done that, come back here and I’ll fill you in on the contents of the will and what will happen after that. It might be an idea if you bring your father with you, and your wife. Jane isn’t it? After all, this does concern them.’
Rob nodded and then stood up. When he spoke, it was flat, almost monotone. Lee England felt quite sorry for him.
‘Is there a funeral or anything?’
‘Your uncle was cremated in France a week ago. The plans had been in place for some time. I’m sorry.’
A crestfallen Rob nodded in response as he tried to digest this latest bombshell.
‘Well I best be off then,’ he said. ‘When do you want me to come back? Should I make an appointment or something?’
‘As quickly as you can would be good. Preferably this afternoon. There are things- Well I have certain functions to perform before this process is complete. But I’ll explain what those are once you’ve spoken to your father.’
Rob shrugged his shoulders and wandered over to the door but before he pulled it open, he turned back to face the solicitor.
‘I have to ask, how much- you know. What are we talking about here? I mean I’m not gonna be stuck with some huge bloody debt am I?’
England smiled wryly and lowered his eyes for a second.
‘I’m sorry, but I really can’t say anything at this stage.’
By the time he looked up again, Rob had gone.
Chapter Five
Rob sat on the edge of the sofa staring at his father with a curious mixture of anger and pity as he paced up and down the living room. Anger that his father had kept his uncle Arthur secret from him for, well, forever, and pity that he’d just had to tell his dad that his estranged brother had died.
What made it worse was that he only had a tiny fraction of the story, something that had made the drive from Sheffield seriously hard work as he had begun imagining all kinds of scenarios while struggling to come to terms with what had happened that morning.
He was still waiting for his father to say something, anything, when Jane arrived. With nothing really to tell her other than get to my dad’s as quick as you can, it had taken a lot to persuade her to leave work and she did not look best pleased when he opened the front door and led her into the living room.
‘Well,’ she said abruptly. ‘What’s going on?’
Rob shrugged his shoulders and motioned for her to sit down. When she had done so, he repeated what Lee England had told him and explained that they had to go back there as soon as his father had filled in the missing pieces of the story - something he had not been inclined to do so far, despite Rob having been there for almost 30 minutes.
Jane turned and looked at her father-in-law pacing up and down, his eyes boring into the carpet. ‘Mick,’ she began in that warm, sympathetic tone that only an experienced nurse can really possess, ‘you know you’re going to have to explain all of this, don’t you? Isn’t it best we get it out of the way now?’ She waited for a second for a response but when none came, she threw Rob a glance and mouthed ‘How much?’
Rob pursed his lips and gently shook his head. She really was a mercenary cow sometimes.
‘Come on Mick,’ she continued quietly. ‘Then we can get on and sort out all this other stuff.’
‘Don’t talk to me like I’m bloody eight,’ barked Mick sudd
enly. ‘I might be old but I’m not sodding senile.’
‘Sorry dad,’ said Rob. ‘But you have to realise this has come as a bit of a shock. I mean, I had an uncle-’
‘He was an arsehole.’
‘Dad! Christ almighty, the poor bloke’s just died. Have a bit of respect.’
‘Respect! That’ll be bloody right. OK, you want to know about my so-called brother? Well, I’ll tell you.’
Mick paused for a second, lit a cigarette and then smiled. Not a warm smile, but the kind someone gives when they are about to tell someone something that is beyond unbelievable.
‘He was a scummer.’
The room fell into a stunned silence for a second before a puzzled frown crossed Jane’s forehead.
‘A what?’
‘You heard me.’
‘He was a scummer? What does that mean?’ She stopped for a second and turned to look at Rob, who sat staring blankly ahead as the full impact of his father’s words slowly worked their way into his brain. ‘You don’t-.’
Jane paused as her brain fought desperately to find some other more rational explanation, but there was none. Nor was there any reaction from her husband.
She turned back to Mick, who was now leaning against the wall smoking, his face the very picture of inner calm. Clearly, unburdening himself of this dark family secret had been good for him.
‘Do you really mean to tell me that you lost contact with your brother just because he supported another football team?’
Mick nodded and took a long draw on his cigarette. ‘Not just that. He was a wanker as well. S’cuse my French, but he was.’
‘So when did you last see him?’ she asked.
‘1961.’
‘Fifty years!’ exclaimed Jane. ‘Come on, there must be more to it than that, I mean…’ She looked at her father-in-law who merely shook his head and stubbed out what was left of his cigarette. Clearly, there wasn’t more to it than that at all. ‘How bloody childish,’ she said, all trace of sympathy now gone from her voice and her demeanour.
‘I don’t get it,’ muttered Rob, having finally realised that this wasn’t a joke at all, it was very real. ‘How…? I mean granddad was United through and through. He’d never have allowed…’
‘He didn’t have much choice,’ replied Mick. ‘Arthur always was a stubborn git.’
‘So what happened?’ asked Rob desperately.
‘Well back then, and remember we’re talking the mid-50s, United were pretty dire. I mean, it was only a couple of years later that we helped found division 4-’
‘1958,’ interrupted Rob instinctively.
Jane sighed. ‘Jesus wept.’
‘-Exactly!’ continued Mick, ignoring his daughter-in-law, who he’d never really warmed to as a result of her dislike of football. ‘Well, your granddad had been taking Arthur and me to games since he’d come back from the war but Arthur had always moaned about it. Either he was cold, hot or bored - but back then, well, you did what you were told or you got a wallop.’
‘I don’t wish to be insensitive,’ lied Jane, who hoped with all of her heart that she would come across as just that. ‘But is there any sign of a point to this?’
‘Well,’ continued Mick with a glare, ‘as we got older he became even more of a pain in the arse. Him and dad were always arguing about something, but then he went off to do his National Service. Two years later, when he came back, well that’s when it happened.’
Rob took a deep and anxious breath.
‘When what happened?’
Mick sighed and turned his eyes to the window.
‘He told me and your granddad that he’d… I can’t even say it.’
‘Don’t tell me,’ said Jane wryly. ‘He was gay.’
‘I wish,’ replied Mick. ‘It was much worse than that. No, he’d done the one thing that he knew would drive the old man to distraction. He’d turned City.’
‘Jesus,’ said a shocked, almost horrified Rob. ‘Granddad must have gone mental.’
‘Slung him out the house and told me and your Nan that we were never to mention him again.’
‘So that was when?’
‘1952,’ said Mick as he began work on another roll-up. ‘He hung around for a bit but the old man wouldn’t have anything to do with him. In the end he took a job in Sheffield and moved there.’
‘And you never saw him again?’ asked Rob.
‘Oh yeah, a few times. Me and your Nan kept in touch with him behind the old man’s back but he turned into a bit of a knob. Always talking about how great the scum were and slagging off United. You know what they’re like. They were the same wankers back then as they are now. In the end, I stopped talking to him as well. I think your Nan kept in touch for a while, but when she died.’
‘So when was the last time you actually saw him?’ asked Jane. Not because she cared, but because she was desperate to force this ridiculous discussion to some kind of conclusion.
‘1961. When you were born,’ he said with a nod at Rob. ‘Cheeky bleeder only turned up at the hospital with a City bib for you. Thought he was being funny.’
Rob sighed. So at least he had met his uncle the once, even if he had only been a day or so old. Then again, what type of bloke must he have been to try and stick a City bib on a baby? To Rob, and to most of the people he knew, that could almost be considered child abuse.
‘And you have no idea what happened to him after that?’
‘None. Well, other than he’s just died.’ Mick finished rolling his cigarette but instead of lighting it, he put it into the old and battered Virginia Tobacco tin he had carried around for as long as Rob could remember. Once he’d clicked the lid shut he looked at Rob and shrugged sadly. ‘What can you do? Eh son?’
Jane looked at them both but for once, bit her tongue. She might hate football, dislike her father-in-law and have a less than loving attitude toward her husband, but even she could see that both were hurting, albeit for different reasons. Any kind of cheap jibe would have been wrong and she knew she would have regretted it. Instead, she left them in silence to gather their thoughts and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.
By the time Jane returned they were talking again. However, when she heard Mick say better one of theirs than one of ours, she realised that whatever emotion they might have felt about their recently departed relative had already dissipated. As a result, she felt no remorse in reverting instantly to type and within a matter of minutes, the three of them were in Rob’s car and heading for Sheffield, their cups of tea left untouched and steaming gently away on Mick Cooper’s living room table.
Chapter Six
Lee England sat and clasped his hands together as he struggled to contain his excitement. The moment he had spent an entire year waiting for had almost arrived. Every vowel of the speech he was about to give had been rehearsed and polished, every one-liner meticulously planned, every dramatic pause carefully timed. All he needed was for Rob to play his part by asking just the right questions at just the right time and then it would be perfect.
‘Mr. Cooper and his family are here. Shall I show them in?’
‘Yes please Julie.’
‘Are you ready?’ she asked.
‘Absolutely.’
Julie smiled, a beaming smile.
‘Good luck.’
England watched her duck out of his doorway and leaned back in his chair. Rob was right. She was bloody attractive. How had he never noticed? Maybe his judgement had become clouded by the succession of 19 year old temps he’d spent years boffing. A proper woman might make a nice change and a real challenge.
But would she be up for it? It could cause serious problems if she took offence. After all, she was a bloody good secretary and her husband was an ex-Para. Was the chance of a leg-over worth the combined risk of a strained and possibly terminal working relationship and the good kicking that would inevitably follow? Obviously that depended on the quality of the leg-over, but probably not. Something to think about thou
gh.
‘Robert, good to see you back so soon,’ he said as he came out from behind his desk and shook hands with his three guests. ‘Mrs Cooper, a pleasure. And you must be Mick? Please, make yourselves comfortable.’
He remained standing until they were seated and Julie had offered them coffee – noticing with a degree of concern that both Rob and Mick kept their eyes on his secretary longer than was strictly necessary - and then leant against the edge of his desk.
‘So can I assume that the details of Arthur Cooper’s estrangement have been explained?’
Rob glanced at his father and nodded.
‘And there is no doubt that we are talking about your brother, Mick?’
‘I don’t see how there can be,’ responded Rob before his father could answer.
‘Excellent’ replied England as Julie entered and placed a tray of cups on the table between Rob and Jane. ‘Then down to business.’
He sat down at his desk before taking a sealed white envelope from a drawer, hesitating for a second before placing it carefully and deliberately in front of him, tapping the corner slightly until it came to rest exactly square to the wooden edge.
‘Right, as I said to you before Rob-’
‘Excuse me,’ interrupted Jane who, true to form, had no interest in anything that could be dismissed as detail - an accusation that, in her opinion, could be levelled at 90% of what any solicitor had to say. ‘Can we just get to the nitty-gritty? Is there an inheritance and if so, what is it?’
Although slightly taken aback at her abruptness, England smiled at her.
‘Yes Mrs Cooper, there is an inheritance. Quite a substantial inheritance actually.’
‘And?’ she asked impatiently despite the sudden drying of her mouth on hearing the word substantial.
England flashed a look at all three of them and smiled as he subconsciously pressed a large red button and launched bombshell number one in the direction of his guests.
‘After death duties, your husband stands to be richer to the tune of 6 million pounds. Well, it’s actually nearer six and a quarter million.’