Up ahead, the blink of red, white and blue lights from emergency vehicles caught his attention. A police cruiser blew by them, the siren squawking so loud he winced. Wondering where it was headed, Alexei leaned forward for a better look. A violent wave of orange streaked the dark night sky and took his breath away.
The Spanish Trail motel was totally engulfed in flames.
Jerking back, he glanced at Nikolai in shock. “Why?”
“What else could we do? There were too many unknowns and too much risk. Was Shay’s blood on the carpet? Was the friend’s? What about the sister? What the hell were we going to do with Lalo’s body? That isn’t a death we can sweep under the rug, Alyosha. This isn’t a man that can just disappear.”
Nikolai had his lucky lighter in hand now. He flicked it opened and closed as he gazed out the window at the destruction he had wrought. “This was the best choice. Tomorrow, when the sun is up and the flames are out, they’ll find Lalo’s body and the right gun and that’s it.”
“The right gun?”
“We have a weapon in our possession that was used during Hector’s coup earlier this year. The bullet that killed Lalo tonight was removed and his gun was destroyed. The other gun was used to fire some bullets into the body and the wall. The cops will trace these rounds and the gun left at the scene to the deaths earlier this year.” He brushed his pant leg as if to sweep away lint. “It will keep them busy chasing their tails while we deal with the transition.”
It was all discussed so calmly. Alexei had been out of the life long enough that he had forgotten how blithely Nikolai decided these things. Who lived. Who died. Who to frame. It was a simple act of arithmetic for him.
“But the fire, Kolya,” Alexei protested. “It’s dangerous. The motel guests—”
“No one died in this fire. The brothers took care of it. It was all very clean.”
“God, I hope you’re right.” Alexei cringed as Boychenko slowly glided through an intersection and away from the frantic scene. Another fire truck raced toward the blaze. He prayed no firemen were hurt tonight. That was a guilt he didn’t want on his conscience or Shay’s. “Fire is nasty business, Kolya.”
“It’s never my preference,” the boss admitted, “but these were extenuating circumstances. Once Besian took a step back and truly considered the situation, he knew there were too many risks if he tried to haul that body out of there. We’re just lucky this all happened in the dark, in a shitty part of town, and in a rainstorm where it’s easier to manage the spread of the fire.”
“What happens to the people who were living in that motel? Where do they go now?”
“John Mueller is about to get some new tenants in his apartment complexes.” He snapped his lighter closed and dropped it into his pocket. “You can expect that bill soon.”
Alexei swore under his breath but accepted the out of pocket costs for housing those people were a small price to pay. Considering how badly this might have gone for Shay, he didn’t dare complain. It seemed uncouth to call tonight’s events a stroke of luck, especially when one man was dead and someone’s business had just been burned to the ground, but he silently called it that.
“I swear our lives were never this complicated before we started welcoming all these women into our inner circle,” Nikolai grumbled. “Who would have thought falling in love would be so fucking complicated?”
Out of habit, he started to correct Nikolai, to laugh at the very notion that he was head over heels in love with Shay, but the reality of what had happened in the last forty-eight hours slapped sense into him. There was no point in lying to himself or trying to convince anyone else that what he felt for Shay was anything less than love. It had crept up on him so slowly over the last year that he hadn’t even recognized the subtle shift from infatuation to friendship to love.
“Vanya, Dima, Yuri, Sergei, Kostya, you, me… Who’s next? Danny?” Nikolai laughed as if he had just heard the funniest joke ever. “Hell, maybe it will be Ten!”
Up front, Boychenko snorted with amusement. Alexei shook his head at the outlandish idea. “I don’t think there’s a woman alive who can tame Ten.”
“Stranger things have happened,” Nikolai replied. “So—is it true? Did she really step in front of a gun for you?”
Alexei’s heart stuttered as the memory of Shay jumping in front of him flashed before his eyes. “Yes, she did.”
“She must love you very much.”
“I don’t know about that.” Alexei didn’t dare hope that Shay’s action was proof of her love for him. “She’s a good person. She would protect anyone from a bully like Lalo.”
“Yes, but she protected you. She saw you fight for her last night. She knows what you’re capable of doing, but she still stepped in front of a possible bullet for you. That was an action spurred by the heart,” Nikolai touched his chest, “not the head.”
“She should listen to her head more,” he said, suddenly uncomfortable talking about all of this with Nikolai. “I’m not the type of man who knows what to do with a woman’s heart.”
“You’ll learn.” Nikolai stretched out his legs. “I know what you’re thinking. You think no one could possibly love you because of the terrible things you’ve done, but you’re wrong. We’re all worthy of love. Even the worst of us,” he murmured. Their gazes clashed in the shadows of the rear seats. “A woman like Shay is an extraordinary find, Alyosha. It takes a big heart to love men like us, and those big hearts are easily damaged. She fucked up tonight. That’s not up for debate—but we’ve all made big mistakes in our lives. We’ve all done things we wish we could take back.”
They drove in silence, all three occupants of the Land Rover thinking of their misdeeds and blunders. When they pulled into the junkyard, Nikolai inhaled a deep breath. “Go home to her. Scold her if you must but show her love tonight. She needs to feels safe again. Her entire life has fallen apart in the last two days. She needs you to be her rock. Give her something to cling to,” he urged. “A woman who will throw herself between you and a gun? That’s a woman you should deny nothing and give everything. Even if you lose everything tomorrow, Shay will walk beside you.”
The boss’s powerful counsel made Alexei’s head spin. As he drove away from the junkyard he couldn’t stop thinking about everything Nikolai had said. Though he was still angry with Shay for taking such a risk and for defying him, he understood why she had made the decision to go after her sister. Hadn’t he done far, far worse and stupider things to save Ivan or Nikolai in the past?
When he entered the apartment a short time later, he discovered Shay seated at the island in the kitchen and staring at a bowl of melted ice cream. Stas sat on the opposite end of the polished slab, his expression hard and his arms crossed. Frosty was the first adjective that came to mind. The cheerful, easy friendship that he had witnessed between the pair last night had vanished.
“What’s going on here?” Alexei dropped his gym bag on the floor and glanced back and forth between them. Shay lifted her head, and her swollen, red eyes helped him fill in the blanks. Thinking of the cruelty she had known as a child, he cast a sharp glance at Stas. “What did you do to upset her like this?”
“Nothing,” she answered quickly. As if terrified to make either of the men in the room angry, she smiled brightly but it didn’t reach those beautiful eyes of hers. “We’re fine. How…how are you?”
“No, Shay. We aren’t doing this.” Alexei slashed his hand through the air. “You and I have always been honest with each other. You don’t ever have to pretend with me.”
Shay swallowed and bit her lower lip. She gripped the edge of the counter so tightly he feared her thin, delicate fingers would snap. “I’m sorry, Alexei. I’m so sorry.”
The words were whispered so softly he barely heard them. Certain they were on the verge of some new development in their relationship, he glanced at Stas and hooked his thumb back toward the door. “Go home.”
Stas gathered up his things and the garbage bag
of ruined clothing. “She left her phone in the friend’s truck. I can pick it up tomorrow.”
“That’s fine.” He followed Stas to the door and locked it behind him. When he returned to the kitchen, he took a deep breath and finally met her anxious gaze. Hating to see her looking so wounded and afraid, he insisted, “I’m not the men who abused you when you were little. I’m not going to hurt you. There is nothing for you to fear from me. Ever.”
“I’m not afraid of that,” she assured him, her voice steady but soft. “I know you won’t hurt me…even though I nearly got you shot and dragged you into that nightmare at the hotel.”
“I dragged myself into this mess, Shay.” He combed his fingers through his hair and expelled a loud breath. “Look, I am angry with you for risking your own life. You had no business in that motel! You had no business going after your sister! You know what these people are like. You’re a very smart woman. Why the hell would you go after Shannon like that?”
Blinking rapidly, she said in a tremulous voice, “I thought I could get there quickly and get Shannon out of Texas. We were going to take her to Baton Rouge or New Orleans.”
“You were going to drive to Louisiana? With your sister? The girl who has a price on her head?” His blood pressure shot through the fucking roof. “And then what, Shay? What was the plan?”
She shrugged nervously. “I don’t know. Leave her there with some money and burner phones, I guess. She would have to figure out the rest herself.”
“And what did you think I was going to do when I came home and you were gone?” Had she considered the rampage that would have followed that discovery? The damage he would have done to this city to find her?
“I was going to call you and explain everything.”
“That call would have come too late. Stas had already called to tell me you were missing. I was gunning for Lalo. Because that’s what I assumed, Shay. I assumed he’d gotten his dirty fucking hands on you—and I was ready to kill him.”
Her eyes widened at the strident tone of his voice. Had she truly doubted his reaction? Didn’t she understand how far he would go for her?
“You can’t do that, Alexei.” She was deadly serious now. “Promise me you will never cross that line for me.”
“I can’t. I won’t. You’re mine, and there is nothing I won’t do to keep you safe.”
She exhaled a shocked breath. Then, shaking her head, she said, “If I’m yours, why did you send me away with Stas? Why didn’t you come with me?”
Remembering Nikolai’s advice, he said, “I shouldn’t have dismissed you like that, Shay. I shouldn’t have sent you away from the motel without making sure you were okay. It won’t happen again.” He cleared his throat. “I know that you’re sensitive about these things. I should have been more careful with you.”
“No, Alexei.” She shook her head. “I should have been more careful. After everything you’ve done for me, this was the way I repaid your kindness. I—”
“You don’t owe me anything.” He needed her to understand that. “This isn’t a relationship built on debts and payments.”
Her grip on the counter eased as she seemed to accept what he was telling her. “I should have called you, Alexei.”
“Yes, you should have.”
“I should have trusted you to help me again.”
“That’s what hurts the most.” His admission seemed to surprise her. “After everything we went through last night, you went off on your own instead of coming to me. You said you trusted me—”
“I do trust you!”
“Do you?” He wasn’t so sure. “If you had trusted me, you would have called me the moment you heard from your sister.”
“I trust you to be good to me, but I didn’t know what you would do if I told you about Shannon,” she tearfully confessed. “I’m sorry. I know how awful that sounds. I really do! But it’s the truth. You promised you would protect me but Nikolai sat here last night and he made it clear that Shannon is dead to him. I couldn’t take the chance, Alexei. I didn’t want to force you to choose between helping me and being loyal to one of your oldest friends.”
As she sobbed out her explanation, he finally grasped her position and her reasoning. He couldn’t blame her or punish her or scold her for any of that. She was right. What would he have done if she had called him? He would have run to her side in an instant but Shannon? He would have tried to help her, but he wouldn’t have crossed Nikolai to do it. It was an ugly, painful truth to acknowledge but there it was.
“But you still came for me,” Shay murmured, almost in awe. “You came for me again, and you saved me.”
“You don’t need to keep testing me, Shay. I gave you my word. I will never break it.”
Certain her reluctance to trust him completely would be the biggest stumbling block for their continuing relationship, Alexei decided to leave it for tonight. He might have discovered that he loved her, but she was clearly in a different place. There was no point in rushing or pressuring her. He had waited nearly a year just to kiss her. He could wait as long as she needed for all the rest.
“I need to shower.” He wanted to hold her, to feel her skin beneath his hands, but he was filthy from the mud and rain. “We’ll talk more when I’m finished.”
“May I come with you?”
It seemed to take a great deal of bravery for her to ask that. Sometimes she struck him as so incredibly naïve. He was beginning to question how much experience she actually had with men.
“I don’t want to be alone. I know how silly that sounds but…”
“You’re not silly.” He held out his hand. “Come here, ptichka.”
Shay glided toward him, her footsteps silent and light, and grasped his hand. Her fingers were cold, and her hand trembled in his. He was taken aback by the realization that she had been so afraid that she was shaking.
Had she been sitting here waiting and worrying that he would put her out on the streets? That he would leave her to fend for herself? That he would turn his back on her because she had made a bad choice and a stupid mistake?
Stas.
The answer came to him instantly. Of course.
The street soldier had probably been filling her head with all kinds of bullshit. Alexei decided he would set Stas straight in the morning.
Her fingers tightened around his hand, and she stepped into his personal space. She pressed her cheek to his chest and slid her other arm around his waist. His breath caught in his throat as she burrowed into him, seeking his warmth and protection. He encircled her and drew her in even closer.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Alexei.”
A choked laugh escaped his throat, the sound muffled by her thick hair. “After the last two days, I don’t even want to think about what you would do.”
She released him slowly and tipped her head back. Gazing up at him, she had the most vulnerable look on her face. The surge of affection he felt toward her left him reeling. But this wasn’t simple affection anymore. Nor was it infatuation. No, it was something else. It was exactly what Nikolai had guessed.
He kissed her forehead and then backed away from her. “I need to get clean.”
“Stas took my clothes from earlier. What are you going to do with yours?”
He glanced down at his messy pants and ruined shoes. “I’ll have to get rid of them tomorrow.”
“I’ll go grab a bag for you.”
He entered the bathroom and stepped into the private toilet area, locking the door behind him. When he was finished, he stepped out of the room and found Shay sitting on the counter. His appreciative gaze lingered on her crossed legs. The hoodie she was wearing had ridden up to mid-thigh and revealed an incredible swath of silky brown skin that he wanted to touch. Holding out the trash bag she had fetched from the kitchen, she seemed wholly unaware of the effect she had on him.
Standing in front of her, he toed off his shoes and peeled off his socks. He tossed them into the bag and then slipped out
of his jacket. He hated to lose another of his favorite suits, but it had to go. They couldn’t risk any evidence tying them to that motel. His belt and shirt followed. When he started lowering the zipper on his pants, he noticed the way her gaze flicked from his waist right back up to his chest. She seemed determined not to look.
Wanting to tease her a bit, he asked, “Aren’t you the least bit curious?”
“About?” Her eyes were fixed on his face now.
“Whether it’s boxers or briefs?”
She shot him a saucy look. “Knowing you? You’re probably commando under those pants.”
He laughed as he stepped out of his pants and dropped them in the bag. He gestured to his boxers as if to say, “See?”
She rolled her eyes and gave the trash bag a little shake. This time she let her gaze wander down his chest until it settled on his waist. There was no mistaking the way she was breathing a bit faster now. If he put a hand to her neck, he expected to feel her pulse pounding under his fingers.
He stripped slowly, drawing his boxers off in an effortless sweeping motion. He wasn’t hard—yet—but he’d always been proud of what he considered his rather impressive offering to the women in his life. It struck him suddenly how very strange this was. Usually, he was the one sitting fully clothed while his mistress disrobed for the first time. He was always the one enjoying the strip show.
But, then, Shay wasn’t a typical mistress, was she? It was no surprise she’d gotten the best seat in the house and her own private show tonight.
Naked as the day he’d been born, Alexei strode to the shower and adjusted the knobs until he had the right temperature. He stepped inside the shower and felt the chill of the tile under his feet. The hot water spewing from three showerheads quickly steamed up the oversized space. He grabbed the bar of soap he kept here and lathered it between his hands.
“Alexei?”
“Yes?” He spread soapy foam along his chest.
“Do you think Shannon is still alive?”