Overwhelmed by sensation and unable to speak, I nodded. He grinned that sexy grin of his that made my stomach wobble. Burning up for him, I widened my thighs in a silent plea for him to keep going. I wanted this. I wanted him. Right now. Inside me.
He reached down and wrapped a hand around his shaft. Dragging the fat head of his cock through my folds, he teased me with the promise of what was to come. Pulsing with desire, I moaned and surged against him, wanting to feel his shaft on my clitoris again. “Please! Alexei!”
Without a moment’s warning, Alexei thrust forward, slamming into me and sheathing himself right to the hilt. Hissing, I recoiled with the shock of the sharp pain that gripped me.
Too hard.
Too fast.
Too deep.
Too much.
“Shay?” Frozen above me, Alexei stared down at me with a panicked expression.
No, no, no, I thought. Don’t stop now!
“Please,” I panted. “Don’t.” I tried to catch my breath. “Stop.”
*
The moment he surged forward, Alexei had recognized something was different. The unexpected resistance had registered a second too late, but the hiss of pain was impossible to ignore.
A virgin!
A fucking virgin?
Of course.
It all made sense now. The mixed signals? Her shyness? He should have seen it. He should have been paying more attention.
Like right now, he thought, glancing at her pained expression.
I’m hurting her. The taut muscles in her face and neck told him everything. She was in agony right now. He’d been so desperate to finally have her that he had rammed into her without warning.
Feeling like the worst asshole in the world, he replayed her pained words. “Please! Don’t! Stop!”
I swore I would never hurt her, but I did.
Desperate to make this right, Alexei started to withdraw from the unbelievably tight sheath now gripping him, but Shay frowned up at him. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she shook her head. “Please don’t stop,” she practically begged. “I want this with you.”
The tension in his chest eased. He had misunderstood that part at least, but there was no mistaking the signs of pain on her beautiful face. Letting go of her wrists, he caressed her cheek. “I’m hurting you, ptichka.”
She shook her head. “I don’t care.” She slid her hands along his arms until they rested on his shoulders. “I’ve wanted this just as long as you have.”
He believed her. She spoke with sincerity. There was no denying their mutual attraction or desire, but it shouldn’t have happened like this.
Ashamed of how selfish he had been, he leaned down and captured her mouth with loving, tender kisses. She deserved better than this, to be rushed and used so roughly. If he’d known—if she had told him that she had no experience with men—he would have taken his time with her.
Watching her face, he slid forward only an inch or so and then retreated. She winced, and he froze again. Was this the right thing to do? Should he stop altogether? Should he keep going? He didn’t know much about virgins. In fact, he had always gone out of his way to avoid them. There was too much responsibility involved. If he fucked this up tonight, Shay would be cheated of a wonderful experience.
So don’t fuck it up. Go easy. Trust her to tell you what she needs.
“Should I keep going? Do you want to stop and try again later?”
“It’s not that bad.” She placed her hand against his cheek in a reassuring gesture. “I promise, Alexei. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just…different.” Her eyes closed for a moment and a smile flitted across her face. “A very good different.”
He skimmed his lips along her jaw. He couldn’t get enough of her soft skin. His hand moved along her neck and across her collarbone before slipping down to her breast. He marveled at her silky skin and the dark puckered flesh of her nipple. Unable to help himself, he suckled her gently. Almost instantly, he felt her pussy clamping down on his cock. His breath escaped his lungs on a rushed exhalation as he reveled in that wild sensation. He did it again, suckling harder this time and even biting down just a bit.
“Alexei!” Shay rocked against him. Her pussy fluttered around his dick, and he thought he might die in that moment. Heart racing, mouth dry, he kissed her again, tasting her sweet mouth and wishing they could stay like this forever.
More relaxed, Shay lifted her legs and hooked them at the small of his back, crossing her ankles and anchoring herself to him. The shift in angle felt amazing for him. By the look of wonder reflected in her eyes, it felt pretty damn good for her too. He couldn’t believe how wet she was now. He was able to thrust without even the slightest bit of drag.
Shifting his weight to one knee, he trailed his fingertips from her hairline to her lips. He outlined her mouth and then pressed his fingers to her pout. “Lick.”
Always a good girl, she followed his order and flicked her tongue over his skin. He kissed the tip of her nose and then lowered his now slick fingers to the place where their bodies met. He framed her clit between them and rubbed slowly while thrusting into her. He didn’t go very deep or very hard. He took his time, moving with leisurely strokes and kissing her over and over again.
He wasn’t sure if she would be able to come like his. He had always heard that it wasn’t very good for women the first few times. Not wanting her to associate pain or disappointment with him, Alexei was determined to try to help her find pleasure with him.
But, fuck, it was hard to hold back. Everything about this coupling was different. He’d never been this excited in his life, not even his first time. Beneath him, Shay started to move. Her body was tense now but for a different reason. She gripped his shoulder and hip, her short nails digging into his skin. She was so damn tight and wet and hot and—blyad!
Fuck.
Fuck.
He suddenly realized why this felt better than it ever had. In their rush to bed, he had broken his only sex rule. He never fucked without a condom. Until now. He had always been careful, fearing an unwanted pregnancy or disease.
Pull out. A small and very responsible voice in the back of his head urged caution, but then Shay gripped the back of his neck and dragged him down for a kiss that made his damn toes curl. His self-control imploded in that moment.
He felt that familiar buzzing sensation building at the base of his spine. Too fast. Too soon. But he couldn’t stop it. Not when Shay started rocking her hips to meet his measured thrusts. Pressing her forehead to his, she whispered his name again and again. “Alexei. Alexei. Alexei.”
Hearing her breathing his name like that broke him. Thrusting deep, he came so damn hard his vision started to dim. His entire body trembled with the aftershocks as wave after wave of incredible pleasure gripped him. Shay’s thighs tightened around his waist, almost as if she were determined to hold him prisoner. Desperate to eke out the last few moments of incredible sensation, he rolled his hips, thrusting shallow and fast until ever last drop of cum had been milked out of him.
Falling forward, he tried to catch his breath as he drowned in a wave of guilt. Silently berating himself for ruining her first experience with a man, he stayed fully sheathed in her slick heat. She combed her fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek and jaw. He didn’t deserve her sweet gestures, not after failing her in this.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice muffled by her throat. Embarrassment gripped him. For a man renowned for his sexual prowess, he had just made a complete fool of himself by coming so fast. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” Shay sounded confused as she stroked his back.
Lifting his head, he gazed down into her beautiful face. Didn’t she understand that he’d just cheated her of something special? “I should have had more control. I hurt you—and then I finished first.”
Shay pressed her lips to his in a lingering kiss. “You didn’t hurt me, and I don’t care that you finished first.” Smiling tenderly, she brushed her fingertips along his
jawline. “We’ll figure out the timing eventually.”
In awe of her, Alexei nuzzled into her and noisily kissed his cheek. Very carefully, he withdrew from her body and rolled onto his side. He slipped one arm under her body and embraced her from behind, dragging her back against him. He grasped her knee and pulled her leg up and over his, opening her thighs and giving him the right amount of access. Cupping her hot mound, he nibbled her earlobe and said, “Tell me what feels good.”
“Everything you do to me feels good,” she said breathlessly. “Like that,” she whispered when he rubbed his finger around her clit in a lazy circle. “Especially that.”
Listening to her moans and hitched breaths for guidance, he played with that pink pearl hidden away between her legs until she started to tremble. Holding her like this, he was able to tease her with kisses and fondle her incredible breasts. He focused his attention on her clitoris, rubbing and stroking, but didn’t let his fingers drift any lower. After the way he had just battered her poor body, she was probably aching and sore.
She gripped his thigh and pushed back against him. Her perky little ass brushed against his stiffening cock. He’d always been quick to recover but even this was fast for him. With his fingers sliding in her wetness, he grew more excited, his blood heating in his veins and coursing through him with renewed vigor. He wanted nothing more than to bury his dick in her again—but it was too soon.
With a shocked groan, Alexei surged against Shay when she reached down between her spread legs to stroke his shaft. Her nimble fingers moved over his solid length, gliding down from the tip to the base. She was growing bolder with him and more curious. He fucking loved it.
But when she cupped his balls, Alexei’s fingers faltered. He nipped at her earlobe. “What are you doing, Shay?”
“Can we try again?” she asked, her voice tinted with excitement and uncertainty.
He gulped. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“You won’t,” she assured him. “I know what I want, and I want you. Again.”
His dick throbbed, and heat rolled through his belly. “I’ll be gentle.”
Shay looked back at him and smiled. “You always are with me.”
The absolute trust reflected in her dark eyes drove him crazy. Someday, he wanted to deserve it. He wasn’t a good man. He’d done some terrible shit in his life, but he had tried to make amends. He’d tried to live clean and right. Gazing down at Shay, he wondered if she was his reward for good behavior.
Instead of pushing her onto her back, he kept her glued to his chest like this. Spooning would keep him from losing control again. Clutching his cock, she guided him into place, and he carefully, slowly, pressed into her. She licked her full lower lip and wiggled her hips until she found just the right angle. “Oh,” she breathed out on a long sigh. “Alexei.”
“Does this feel good?”
“Yes. So good.”
Fully sheathed in her wet heat, he didn’t move. Instead, he traced a tight circle around her clit with two fingers. She shuddered when his fingertips flicked a certain way so he kept doing that—again and again and again until she panted and squirmed. Their coupling was unhurried and slow. Pushing, thrusting, rocking—he carried her closer and closer to the edge. She squeezed him with rhythmic spasms until finally—finally—she came apart in his arms.
“Alexei!” Shay cried out with ecstasy, her entire body undulating with sheer pleasure.
Exquisite. He watched her closely, enjoying the wonder and astonishment brightening her gorgeous face. His own orgasm was close behind, thrumming and building and pulsing with greater intensity. But he clamped down on it, refusing to let go until Shay was satisfied.
She had just come down from her first climax when she shifted away from him and onto her back. Clutching at his arms, she tugged on him in a silent plea for him to climb on top of her again. He wasn’t about to deny her anything she desired, especially not tonight.
Sliding into her, he was careful not to take her too fast or too hard. He crashed their mouths together while snapping his hips, burying him cock in her. She clawed at his back, leaving burning trails along his skin. Feeling her staccato breaths on his cheek and neck excited him more than anything. He grasped her hand and dragged it down to the place where their bodies were joined.
“Make yourself come again,” he all but ordered. Nipping at her bottom lip, he caused her to hiss. “Show me the way you touch yourself when you’re alone.”
Throwing her head back, Shay cried out as he thrust into her with a little more force. She played with her clit, rubbing fast circles around it while rising up to meet his every move. He could tell she was close again by those quick breaths she inhaled and the deep flush racing along her skin. Enthralled by her breasts, he bent his head and latched on to her dark nipple.
She came suddenly, her entire body wracked with the explosion of pure bliss. He didn’t stand a chance. He dove off the edge with her and plunged into the same wave of pleasure.
They came down together, kissing, touching, whispering. She had the sweetest, softest smile on her beautiful face. She kissed him so tenderly, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she started to giggle. “That was amazing,” she murmured against his lips. She embraced him in a hug he never wanted to end. “I’m so glad it was you.”
In that moment, he knew everything had changed. All his plans for her? They crumbled in a spectacular crash. She could never be just his mistress. Not after this.
No, she was meant for something far greater.
Mine, he thought and gathered her close. Always.
Chapter Fourteen
Long after Shay fell asleep in his arms, Alexei stroked her bare back and arm. His mind raced in ten different directions. What would happen once the underworld woke to the news that Lalo Contreras was dead? Would Shay and Kylee’s involvement in his death stay secret? Would the police come sniffing around for answers?
And what the fuck was he going to do about Shannon? She was out there somewhere, probably hurt and scared, and would need to be rescued. If she was smart, she would get as far away from Texas as possible. She would go north to any place not connected to the cartel and start a new life. But was she that smart? The choices she had made so far in life didn’t inspire much confidence.
Shay hummed in her sleep and turned on her side. Even before he slid closer, she was snuggling back against him. His mouth lifted in a smile as pulled her in tight and kissed the side of her neck. His smile faded when he noticed the scars crisscrossing her back. Earlier, he had felt the raised bumps under his fingertips, but he had been so fascinated by her lithe body that he hadn’t paid them much attention.
But now? Now he couldn’t stop looking at them.
He knew what they were.
Someone had struck Shay, repeatedly, with a cord of some kind. The scars curved around her back the way something flexible would when it hit skin. He didn’t have to think very hard to find a culprit for the abuse she had suffered. It was either her horrible mother or one of the scumbag assholes she had brought into their home.
Rage burned hot and heavy in his chest as he traced the thin scars. They spurred a memory he had long since buried. While imprisoned in that juvenile camp, he and Ivan had watched another boy, a weaker boy, who had been singled out by the three of their guards. For every little infraction, that poor kid had been hauled away and taken to the secret block where terrible things had been done to him.
Once, the kid had been thrown back into their dormitory cell completely unconscious and with his back ragged and torn from a whipping. The next day, Ivan had coaxed the truth from the younger boy, learning about the extension cord that had been used on him and the other terrible things that had been done. That was the day Ivan had decided he had finally seen enough of that kid limping and bleeding around their cell block.
Three nights after that, he and Ivan and a few of the older boys had led a small revolt on their sadistic guards. By sunrise, those guar
ds had been on their way to a hospital and an unspoken agreement between the warden and the inmates had been struck. Not another kid had been touched while Ivan was there.
Staring at his hands, he could almost feel the hot blood spilling onto them. If he closed his eyes, he could smell the sharp bite of fear in the air. He could hear that extension cord Ivan had stolen smacking into bare skin. He could see the panicked stares of those guards when they had realized their days of beating and raping young boys were over and that they were going to leave the prison on stretchers.
Disgust soured his stomach. The things he had done to survive in that place…
Alexei lifted his hand from Shay’s back and held it away from her as if he feared infecting her with the darkness and shame still clinging to him. She was the most pure and good thing he had ever had in his life. If she ever found out about the horrible things he had done?
She’ll leave me.
Panic overwhelmed him. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her. He would do anything to keep her. Anything.
Thinking of the unseemly way he had brought her into his life left his stomach in knots. He had been so stupid to ever think that asking her to be his mistress would work. What must she have been thinking when he’d said that last night? Had she been afraid of what would happen when he discovered she didn’t have the skills a mistress usually possessed? Had she felt pressured to let him have her tonight?
No. He didn’t believe that last one. She had been the one who came onto him tonight. She had been the one to urge him to continue every time he had hesitated. She had made the decision to enjoy this with him. He only hoped that she was happy with that decision.
I’ll never be good enough for her.
It was a troubling thought, and one that threatened to turn him inside out. He wasn’t sure how to navigate these uncharted relationship waters. He couldn’t just give her pretty, expensive things and expect her to be happy. She would need him to be open and honest with her, to talk about his feelings and to share his thoughts with her. He’d never done that with a woman before and didn’t have the first notion of how to make it work.